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AsItShouldBe
LIF Infant
Member since 6/09 91 total posts
Name:
Carrie
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
This makes me sad! I am a new mom and want to make mom friends and have my ds be social, i would've done the same thing as you.
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Posted 7/17/14 1:28 PM  |
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Mags1227
Just a mommy ...
Member since 10/10 2665 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
to the OP, i am all for my kid meeting new kids. If they play well together, i'll stay and let them enjoy the day. If they don't i'll move away or leave.
just because our kids are playing together, does not necessarily mean i have to engage with the mom though. i would be a bit freaked out if i got to the beach and a mom and her kid came up to us and were all "hi! want to play?"
if i'm at the beach i'm watching my son. i know people take me not looking at them or giving them one word answers as rude. i'm not being rude, i'm paying attention to my child who is a daredevil. my friends are used to this. a new person will take this the wrong way and think i'm a witch (with a b)
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| Posted 7/17/14 1:45 PM |
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Posted by kahlua716
Posted by stillasecret
I probably wouldn't initiate but I would definitely be warm and friendly in response.
Same here.
BUT, if conversation didn't flow and it was awkward I would find an excuse to get away.
Maybe the mom was looking forward to just flipping through a magazine or reading a book while her kid played in the sand. 
I'll be honest. I HATE small talk. lol I have a habit of babbling away about ANYTHING just to avoid weird silent moments.
I agree with this. I hate small talk to. It's awkward for me during moments of silence so I try to avoid it altogether. I hardly ever initiate conversations with people but I too would be warm in response.
I can't blame the woman too much though. It could habe been for any number of reasons. Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she is just shy, or feels the way I do about small talk.
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| Posted 7/17/14 1:47 PM |
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starlitdragon
Me and my love
Member since 3/13 1301 total posts
Name:
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Unfriendly moms...
I never initiate, I'm way too shy and awful at small talk. I wouldnt be rude (not intentionally) to someone that did try to talk with me though. Sometimes my shyness is considered rudeness but it's just bc I am so nervous I don't know what to say, or more likely that I'll say something stupid.
It's weird bc I want to make the friends but have zero idea how. Anyway, I'm sorry someone was rude to you. But at least you didn't waste your time with them!
Message edited 7/17/2014 1:50:56 PM.
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| Posted 7/17/14 1:50 PM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
I dont think being an intorvert and having a less social personality makes someone RUDE. I do think not trying to understand how someone can have the opposite personality traits as you and while not being rude is giving social cues that they dont want to chat can also be considered rude.
For the record, my kids play with other kids all the time at the beach or at the park, I do not chat it up with the moms just bc our kids are playing. I might ask how old they are, etc. But thats the extent of it.
Not being social and chatty is not the same as being rude.
Message edited 7/17/2014 1:51:55 PM.
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| Posted 7/17/14 1:51 PM |
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justbeachy
So close....
Member since 7/07 2900 total posts
Name:
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Posted by Mags1227
just because our kids are playing together, does not necessarily mean i have to engage with the mom though. i would be a bit freaked out if i got to the beach and a mom and her kid came up to us and were all "hi! want to play?"
My kid walked over. I followed. I didn't ask to play. My daughter just wanted to say hi.
I didn't expect to exchange snapchat pics and FB info with the mom. I just thought digging in the sand together wasn't such a big deal.
Sorry - just taken aback by your post. You would be 'freaked out' if someone said hi?!? Am I supposed to steer my kid away from other kids? Not be social and friendly in a new town?
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| Posted 7/17/14 1:53 PM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Posted by justbeachy
Posted by Mags1227
just because our kids are playing together, does not necessarily mean i have to engage with the mom though. i would be a bit freaked out if i got to the beach and a mom and her kid came up to us and were all "hi! want to play?"
My kid walked over. I followed. I didn't ask to play. My daughter just wanted to say hi.
I didn't expect to exchange snapchat pics and FB info with the mom. I just thought digging in the sand together wasn't such a big deal.
Sorry - just taken aback by your post. You would be 'freaked out' if someone said hi?!? Am I supposed to steer my kid away from other kids? Not be social and friendly in a new town?
No, but there is no reason you can sit back and watch them play, which is what I usually do. Ill shoot a smile over to the mom from where I am, acknowledge that our kids are playing together and let them play.
You just dont know, maybe that mom is a working mom and took the day off to have some quality one on one time with her daughter, I do this with my kids a lot during the summer.
Message edited 7/17/2014 1:56:21 PM.
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| Posted 7/17/14 1:55 PM |
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justbeachy
So close....
Member since 7/07 2900 total posts
Name:
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Posted by 2BadSoSad
I dont think being an intorvert and having a less social personality makes someone RUDE. I do think not trying to understand how someone can have the opposite personality traits as you and while not being rude is giving social cues that they dont want to chat can also be considered rude.
Neither do I. Being introverted is not rude at all! I get it.
I walked away within seconds. I got the social clues loud and clear.
When someone asks you a question and you can't even look up and acknowledge the other person, it is rude.
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| Posted 7/17/14 1:57 PM |
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MrsT809
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 12167 total posts
Name:
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Unfriendly moms...
Sorry you experienced that. I have been happily surprised to always find very friendly parents at the beaches and parks we go to. I actually find it a little uncomfortable to stand two feet away from someone pushing our kids on the swings and not acknowledge each other. I'm not a very outgoing person but when you have kids similar in age engaged in the same activity it makes it pretty easy imo. It's not a big deal and it's nice for DD to see I think.
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| Posted 7/17/14 1:58 PM |
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justbeachy
So close....
Member since 7/07 2900 total posts
Name:
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Posted by 2BadSoSad
You just dont know, maybe that mom is a working mom and took the day off to have some quality one on one time with her daughter, I do this with my kids a lot during the summer.
She was probably a diabetic too.
You're right. I didn't know the circumstances she had. Everyone has a bad day or has other things on their mind.
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| Posted 7/17/14 2:00 PM |
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hopingforbaby
We made a wish & you came true
Member since 2/10 2695 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Posted by starlitdragon
I never initiate, I'm way too shy and awful at small talk. I wouldnt be rude (not intentionally) to someone that did try to talk with me though. Sometimes my shyness is considered rudeness but it's just bc I am so nervous I don't know what to say, or more likely that I'll say something stupid.
It's weird bc I want to make the friends but have zero idea how. Anyway, I'm sorry someone was rude to you. But at least you didn't waste your time with them!
This is me word for word!
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| Posted 7/17/14 2:04 PM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by kahlua716
Posted by stillasecret
I probably wouldn't initiate but I would definitely be warm and friendly in response.
Same here.
BUT, if conversation didn't flow and it was awkward I would find an excuse to get away.
Maybe the mom was looking forward to just flipping through a magazine or reading a book while her kid played in the sand.
I'll be honest. I HATE small talk. lol I have a habit of babbling away about ANYTHING just to avoid weird silent moments.
Ditto to all this.
Yep, sure I want my kid to meet new people and have fun, doesn't mean I have to. I just want to veg not always in the mood to chit chat.
Plenty times she talks and plays with other kids .. even if its JUST her and that other kid. I don't immediate feel the need or desire to talk up that other kid's mom/dad. I just don't. Kids play, end of story.
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| Posted 7/17/14 2:09 PM |
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justbeachy
So close....
Member since 7/07 2900 total posts
Name:
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Posted by starlitdragon
It's weird bc I want to make the friends but have zero idea how. Anyway, I'm sorry someone was rude to you. But at least you didn't waste your time with them!
Aww! Happy to hang anytime. I'm pretty easy going!
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| Posted 7/17/14 2:10 PM |
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readyfor3
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/10 751 total posts
Name:
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Posted by KevinNKristin8-15-08
Posted by kahlua716
Posted by stillasecret
I probably wouldn't initiate but I would definitely be warm and friendly in response.
Same here.
BUT, if conversation didn't flow and it was awkward I would find an excuse to get away.
Maybe the mom was looking forward to just flipping through a magazine or reading a book while her kid played in the sand.
I'll be honest. I HATE small talk. lol I have a habit of babbling away about ANYTHING
just to avoid weird silent moments.
I agree with this. I hate small talk to. It's awkward for me during moments of silence so I try to avoid it altogether. I hardly ever initiate conversations with people but I too would be warm in response.
I can't blame the woman too much though. It could habe been for any number of reasons. Maybe she was having a bad day, maybe she is just shy, or feels the way I do about small talk.
I agree with all of this!
I'm a SAHM and I generally don't have a problem with small talk or starting up a conversation. There are times I'm out with my kids that I just want to hang with
them and not chat with other mom's or whoever. I can vividly recall taking my son to the park a few years ago after a close family member has just passed. I just wanted to be there with him and there was another Mom who just couldn't take a hint. I was miserable and uncomfortable. We all have off days. Chalk it up to that.
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| Posted 7/17/14 2:13 PM |
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justbeachy
So close....
Member since 7/07 2900 total posts
Name:
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Posted by Xelindrya
Plenty times she talks and plays with other kids .. even if its JUST her and that other kid. I don't immediate feel the need or desire to talk up that other kid's mom/dad. I just don't. Kids play, end of story.
My kid isn't 2 yet. So if she moves, I move. If she was a few years older and could go off a bit and play with another kid, that'd be awesome.
But what did you do when your DD was my kid's age? How did you avoid convos with other parents in these situations? I feel like at this age you HAVE to make small talk with other parents due to safety/age restriction. Ya know?
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| Posted 7/17/14 2:13 PM |
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Posted by stillasecret
I probably wouldn't initiate but I would definitely be warm and friendly in response.
This exactly! I'm shy but would love to make new mommy friends! (I don't have many.) 
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| Posted 7/17/14 2:15 PM |
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WannaBeAMom11
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 7391 total posts
Name:
Name
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Unfriendly moms...
Some people suck. I'm very chatty as is Dh and my babbling Dd. We have run into unchatty people and I usually don't know what to do. Lol.
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| Posted 7/17/14 2:18 PM |
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EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Posted by nferrandi
I talk to everyone, so do my kids. 
This! I tend to talk to anyone all the time. Mom, dad, a customer service rep on the phone... I just like to get to know other people. I always feel it out though so if I'm not getting too much feedback I take it as they are not too social, tired, not in the mood, etc.
For the most part I've been lucky at playgrounds, sprinkler parks and other places where moms take kids during the day. Once in a while I get a parent who isn't up for chatting and that's fine. My fav was meeting an aunt and uncle on a local playground from England visiting their brother and nephews. I just wanted to know all about them and where they're from. Thank goodness they were just as chatty and friendly. All I could think of was saying my boys love Peppa Pig. 
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| Posted 7/17/14 2:24 PM |
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KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Posted by Jenn627
That pisses me off. Perfect opportunity to show your child how to be polite and kind. BUT - I bet it's because you're hot and fit. 
Word.
I'm dying for local mom friends. I see how my own parents formed great relationships with some of my friends' parents and I would love to have that.
I would've totally engaged in a convo if someone approached me and my kids like that... even if it turned into nothing.
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| Posted 7/17/14 2:27 PM |
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JDubs
different, not less
Member since 7/09 13160 total posts
Name:
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Posted by MrsDamonSalv7319
Posted by stillasecret
I probably wouldn't initiate but I would definitely be warm and friendly in response.
This exactly! I'm shy but would love to make new mommy friends! (I don't have many.)
same here. To be honest though I am a FTWM so its hard.
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| Posted 7/17/14 2:40 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Posted by justbeachy
Posted by Xelindrya
Plenty times she talks and plays with other kids .. even if its JUST her and that other kid. I don't immediate feel the need or desire to talk up that other kid's mom/dad. I just don't. Kids play, end of story.
My kid isn't 2 yet. So if she moves, I move. If she was a few years older and could go off a bit and play with another kid, that'd be awesome.
But what did you do when your DD was my kid's age? How did you avoid convos with other parents in these situations? I feel like at this age you HAVE to make small talk with other parents due to safety/age restriction. Ya know?
My DS is 2.5 so he's close to yours. I last summer and this summer let him dig in the sand and walk around but always within 10-15 feet of me maybe. So if there was another child in the vacinity I would let him play away as long as I could see him and get to him in a spilt second if need be.
At the playground I am a bit closer and more with him depending on what he is playing on.
If my DS wanted to go way over to play with another child I would probably tell him no and to stay in our area. If it was a child right next to us I would let them play together while I watched.
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| Posted 7/17/14 2:46 PM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Posted by alli3131
Posted by justbeachy
Posted by Xelindrya
Plenty times she talks and plays with other kids .. even if its JUST her and that other kid. I don't immediate feel the need or desire to talk up that other kid's mom/dad. I just don't. Kids play, end of story.
My kid isn't 2 yet. So if she moves, I move. If she was a few years older and could go off a bit and play with another kid, that'd be awesome.
But what did you do when your DD was my kid's age? How did you avoid convos with other parents in these situations? I feel like at this age you HAVE to make small talk with other parents due to safety/age restriction. Ya know?
My DS is 2.5 so he's close to yours. I last summer and this summer let him dig in the sand and walk around but always within 10-15 feet of me maybe. So if there was another child in the vacinity I would let him play away as long as I could see him and get to him in a spilt second if need be.
At the playground I am a bit closer and more with him depending on what he is playing on.
If my DS wanted to go way over to play with another child I would probably tell him no and to stay in our area. If it was a child right next to us I would let them play together while I watched.
Me too, when my kids were 2, as long as they were up to 15-20 feet or so (closer or further depending on where we were) from me Id let them play and stay where I was.
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| Posted 7/17/14 3:17 PM |
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LemonHead
Sour Girl
Member since 3/08 5271 total posts
Name:
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Posted by nferrandi
I talk to everyone, so do my kids.
So do we! LOL
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| Posted 7/17/14 3:22 PM |
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Maybe-Baybe
My Sunshine
Member since 7/12 3415 total posts
Name:
My only Sunshine
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
I hate rude people. Sorry this happened to you. Is be pissed too. Your LO just wanted to play with the other kid, god forbid kids learn to be social!
Message edited 7/17/2014 3:29:30 PM.
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| Posted 7/17/14 3:29 PM |
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kahlua716
3 Girls for Me!
Member since 8/07 12475 total posts
Name:
Keri
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Posted by justbeachy
Posted by Xelindrya
Plenty times she talks and plays with other kids .. even if its JUST her and that other kid. I don't immediate feel the need or desire to talk up that other kid's mom/dad. I just don't. Kids play, end of story.
My kid isn't 2 yet. So if she moves, I move. If she was a few years older and could go off a bit and play with another kid, that'd be awesome.
But what did you do when your DD was my kid's age? How did you avoid convos with other parents in these situations?
I don't avoid any conversations- but if I'm not in a chatty/social mood- I will not go to a park where there are a lot of people. I've been known to drive right past a park with a full parking lot just to avoid people.
I swing both ways () there are days when I'll overhear other people talking about something interesting and get involved with their conversation (these people probably think I'm rude) or just compliment their child as a way to open conversation. Then there are days when someone will complement my child or ask her age and I'll answer with a smile- but not further engage (these people may also think I'm rude).
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| Posted 7/17/14 3:31 PM |
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