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justbeachy
So close....
Member since 7/07 2900 total posts
Name:
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Unfriendly moms...
Maybe I'm missing something.
You're by yourself at a small community beach with your kid. Another mom shows up with a kid (same sex, if that matters) the same age. There is no one else on the beach.
Would you engage with the mom and kid?
Well, we tried! I don't get it. We're new to the neighborhood and decided to go over and say hello. Not a warm response. Brushed off and then walked off. I'm just kind of shocked! Don't you want your kid to meet other kids?!
Sad face.
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Posted 7/17/14 11:49 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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stillasecret
LIF Infant
Member since 2/12 370 total posts
Name:
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Unfriendly moms...
I probably wouldn't initiate but I would definitely be warm and friendly in response.
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| Posted 7/17/14 11:51 AM |
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
I'm sorry. I've come across this way too much.
I live in a small gated community and have tried to arrange playgroups. It was a nightmare. And I see parents walking their kids (around the same age as mine) and my daughter will be saying hi and waving and they look at her and us like we are crazy and walk away with a rude acknowledgement or nothing at all. I haven't been able to understand it. I think people are just scared and closed off. Maybe it's a bit of laziness since to some it takes a lot of work to get to know someone else and make an effort to talk/involve them.
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| Posted 7/17/14 11:53 AM |
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kahlua716
3 Girls for Me!
Member since 8/07 12475 total posts
Name:
Keri
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Posted by stillasecret
I probably wouldn't initiate but I would definitely be warm and friendly in response.
Same here.
BUT, if conversation didn't flow and it was awkward I would find an excuse to get away.
Maybe the mom was looking forward to just flipping through a magazine or reading a book while her kid played in the sand. 
I'll be honest. I HATE small talk. lol I have a habit of babbling away about ANYTHING just to avoid weird silent moments.
Message edited 7/17/2014 11:55:16 AM.
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| Posted 7/17/14 11:54 AM |
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Sparrow
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 6826 total posts
Name:
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Maybe she was having a bad day? I don't think I'd be quite as rude as she sounded but if you caught me on the wrong day I wouldn't want to sit and chat. I would love the kids to play together though so I would be friendly but I wouldn't chat much unless I was in the mood.
I'm sorry you had this experience, it can be hard enough to put yourself out there as it is. I'm sure there are many other moms who would be much more friendly. Don't let this one bad experience stop you.
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| Posted 7/17/14 11:56 AM |
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ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides
Member since 11/12 14481 total posts
Name:
Me
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Unfriendly moms...
I've initiated, talk to everyone and I'm friendly with everyone. I'm always looking to make new mom friends in the area and want dd to have a lot of friends. But with that said, I've met a ton of people and slowly weed them out. There are people that outside of having kids the same age I would never connect with outside of that.
But, I would still always be friendly. Some people are just like that. And they suck.
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| Posted 7/17/14 11:59 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Posted by kahlua716
Posted by stillasecret
I probably wouldn't initiate but I would definitely be warm and friendly in response.
Same here.
BUT, if conversation didn't flow and it was awkward I would find an excuse to get away.
Maybe the mom was looking forward to just flipping through a magazine or reading a book while her kid played in the sand.
I'll be honest. I HATE small talk. lol I have a habit of babbling away about ANYTHING just to avoid weird silent moments.
Ditto to all this.
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| Posted 7/17/14 12:03 PM |
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MrsRapz
mahna mahna!
Member since 2/12 1952 total posts
Name:
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Unfriendly moms...
I find this happens way too often too. It's annoying, but not a huge loss in my book - if that's their attitude, I'm sure I wouldn't like them anyhow 
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| Posted 7/17/14 12:05 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Unfriendly moms...
Nope. I work FT so when I am at the beach or park I want to spend my time with my family.
ETA I wouldn't be rude though
Message edited 7/17/2014 12:43:44 PM.
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| Posted 7/17/14 12:05 PM |
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Jenn627
Laaaaaaaambert!
Member since 5/08 9818 total posts
Name:
Jenn
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
That pisses me off. Perfect opportunity to show your child how to be polite and kind. BUT - I bet it's because you're hot and fit. 
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| Posted 7/17/14 12:13 PM |
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Loveme
LIF Adult
Member since 6/11 3170 total posts
Name:
Me
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Unfriendly moms...
I wouldn't initiate but I would definitely be friendly and talk back.
DH and I just came back from a trip out west and couldn't believe how friendly everyone was. Literally strangers would have conversations with us everywhere. At first I was freaked out but then embraced it.
I think as a whole, NYers are just much more closed off than others.
Message edited 7/17/2014 12:16:13 PM.
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| Posted 7/17/14 12:15 PM |
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MayBbaby21
Baby no. 3 coming soon!
Member since 6/09 5738 total posts
Name:
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
I don't get it either. I'm somewhat shy and I would still engage the other mom, at least with small talk (how old is your son? What's his name? etc). I always talk to other moms when I'm out with DDs. It doesn't mean we'll be besties and set up play dates, but there's no harm in being friendly.
ETA: And I get it that sometimes mom just want to zone out, but there is no reason to be cold and rude.
Message edited 7/17/2014 12:25:59 PM.
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| Posted 7/17/14 12:24 PM |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
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Unfriendly moms...
I'm not one to go up to strangers and strike up a conversation but no way would I be rude or unfriendly to one who came up to me. That's just unnecessary.
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| Posted 7/17/14 12:27 PM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17790 total posts
Name:
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Unfriendly moms...
I usually let the kids initiate - if my kid starts playing with someone else's kid, I will chat with the parent who is there. Some are nice and chatty and happy to be talking to a grownup and not just a toddler while others would rather keep to themselves.
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| Posted 7/17/14 12:35 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
I talk to everyone, so do my kids. 
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| Posted 7/17/14 12:36 PM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Honestly. no. Im not social by nature, not a "people person" if you will, and really dont like to chat with people. I wouldnt be rude to you, but probably shorter than I would be with friends and not necessarily warm and inviting, especially if I just wanted some quiet time on the beach. Im just not that type of person.
I didnt really do playdates either when my kids were little bc I didnt want to have to hang around with the mom if I didnt already know her.
Now that they are older, we do lots of drop off playdates and there are probably 2 or 3 mom's Ive hit it off with and we hang out but for the most part, no.....I am not looking to meet new people.
I know that makes me sound like a b!tch, but Im not, Im just an introvert, and not particularly social or looking to be social.
Message edited 7/17/2014 12:45:48 PM.
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| Posted 7/17/14 12:43 PM |
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Pinkisles
<3
Member since 11/13 2868 total posts
Name:
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Posted by alli3131
Nope. I work FT so when I am at the beach or park I want to spend my time with my family.
I work full time as well, and want to spend every moment of my free time with my son.
I would not be a ***** to another mom that came up to me and was friendly. That's just rude and un-necessary.
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| Posted 7/17/14 12:43 PM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Unfriendly moms...
Maybe she just wanted to lay low and relax without talking to anyone. I am being very honest when I say that I am not the friendliest person in the world. While I will smile and nod at someone, I wouldn't go over and initiate a convo. And would probably be a little uncomfortable & slightly annoyed if someone came over and started talking to me. But, that's just me.
ETS: But, I wouldn't be rude to anyone who came over to talk, even if I was slightly annoyed.
Message edited 7/17/2014 12:48:08 PM.
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| Posted 7/17/14 12:46 PM |
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wakemeup
Member since 10/13 1397 total posts
Name:
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Posted by StaceyWill
Maybe she just wanted to lay low and relax without talking to anyone. I am being very honest when I say that I am not the friendliest person in the world. While I will smile and nod at someone, I wouldn't go over and initiate a convo. And would probably be a little uncomfortable & slightly annoyed if someone came over and started talking to me. But, that's just me.
ETS: But, I wouldn't be rude to anyone who came over to talk, even if I was slightly annoyed.
That is how I am as well. I would not be rude but my answers would be very short. I do not like making small talk and I prefer to be left alone. If my kid wanted to play with the other kid, that would be fine.
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| Posted 7/17/14 12:54 PM |
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justbeachy
So close....
Member since 7/07 2900 total posts
Name:
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Thanks for the responses. I'm glad to know there are others out there who DO know how to be kind.
I get social cues. I knew right away she didn't want to engage with us. But my heart sunk when my DD just wanted to stay and play with her DD.
At some point, as a parent, I think you have to put on your big girl panties and suck it up for the sake of your kid. I never want to demonstrate rudeness in front of my own child. I might not gel with another mom, but if my kid likes their kid, so be it. (BTW - this isn't directed at anyone out there.... Just my feeling with regards to my situation)
I didn't want to be BFF's with this chick, just wanted my kid to play with another kid.
On a side note - after she walked away, she was on her cell phone the entire time, speaking ill about another mom she was 'friends' with, and ignoring her own child. I wasn't sorry after all. Ha!
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| Posted 7/17/14 1:07 PM |
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justbeachy
So close....
Member since 7/07 2900 total posts
Name:
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Posted by Jenn627
BUT - I bet it's because you're hot and fit.
My beer gut ISSSSSS intimidating. Winky winky.
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| Posted 7/17/14 1:17 PM |
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
I always just feel for the kids. I don't want to be your new BFF, I just want my kid to get to play with another kid. My DD is so friendly and I find it hard to get her to understand that not everyone is like her.
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| Posted 7/17/14 1:21 PM |
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REKoz412
LIF Infant
Member since 5/10 148 total posts
Name:
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Unfriendly moms...
Curious if anyone of you who expressed being put off by OP's gesture has ever moved to an unknown, brand new place? I have several times and all of them were out of state. Not until I moved back to LI did I EVER get a "cold response" from anyone. By "cold", I mean though not rude, I knew she wasn't interested in engaging at all.
How sad that people are so self absorbed that they cannot return a friendly gesture. If you put yourself in OP's shoes, you would understand how lonely it is to be in a new town. God knows you don't have to be bff's but where is the empathy out there?
Flame away...
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| Posted 7/17/14 1:22 PM |
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RocPin
Life's Beachy <3
Member since 2/08 6765 total posts
Name:
Heather
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Posted by kahlua716
Posted by stillasecret
I probably wouldn't initiate but I would definitely be warm and friendly in response.
Same here.
BUT, if conversation didn't flow and it was awkward I would find an excuse to get away.
Maybe the mom was looking forward to just flipping through a magazine or reading a book while her kid played in the sand.
I'll be honest. I HATE small talk. lol I have a habit of babbling away about ANYTHING just to avoid weird silent moments.
Same here.
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| Posted 7/17/14 1:24 PM |
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justbeachy
So close....
Member since 7/07 2900 total posts
Name:
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Re: Unfriendly moms...
Posted by REKoz412
Curious if anyone of you who expressed being put off by OP's gesture has ever moved to an unknown, brand new place? I have several times and all of them were out of state. Not until I moved back to LI did I EVER get a "cold response" from anyone. By "cold", I mean though not rude, I knew she wasn't interested in engaging at all.
How sad that people are so self absorbed that they cannot return a friendly gesture. If you put yourself in OP's shoes, you would understand how lonely it is to be in a new town. God knows you don't have to be bff's but where is the empathy out there?
Flame away...
Aww. Thanks so much. 
If anyone out there would like to get together in the Huntington area, let me know. My kid and I are awesome. In my spare time, I like to drink too. So hey.... Hit a sistah up.
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| Posted 7/17/14 1:26 PM |
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