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mrsdukes
LIF Adult
Member since 1/09 943 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: Matt Lauer fired after 20 years at NBC
Posted by FirstMate
As I was watching the Thanksgiving parade, I said to DH "i wonder when this creeper is going to be outed." And Savanah you are NOT shocked. *****, please.
Why are men so friggan gross? Kudos to these ladies putting on a brave face and stepping up.
Funny, one of my family members made a similar comment during the parade, saying he was going to be the next one named!
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Posted 11/30/17 9:28 AM  |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7789 total posts
Name:
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Re: Matt Lauer fired after 20 years at NBC
And now Russell Simmons.
All I keep thinking is that the allegations against each of these men must be outrageously egregious for them to just be stepping down or for them to be fired on the spot.
It is really sad that women are put in a position where they have to tolerate the behavior or be in fear of losing their job or of losing the opportunity for advancement in their career.
I hope this shake up gives pause to future powerful men.
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| Posted 11/30/17 11:39 AM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Matt Lauer fired after 20 years at NBC
Posted by FirstMate
And now Russell Simmons.
All I keep thinking is that the allegations against each of these men must be outrageously egregious for them to just be stepping down or for them to be fired on the spot.
It is really sad that women are put in a position where they have to tolerate the behavior or be in fear of losing their job or of losing the opportunity for advancement in their career.
I hope this shake up gives pause to future powerful men.
I know this will sound insensitive but if they allowed something and it was consensual and they only did it because they didn't want to be afraid of losing their job or an opportunity then they are to blame as well. They had a choice not do anything get fired and tell them why when it happened. Make a big deal about it then. I am big on you have a choice you may not like your choices but or the results from the choices but you made them.
Now if these women were raped groped or anything done to them with out their consent obviously its wrong and I can see that for some women its hard to come forward about their abuse.
I also question how many of these are real allegations and its not just women trying to hurt them or get money from them because IMO its definitely a possibility for them to do that.
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| Posted 11/30/17 12:47 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Matt Lauer fired after 20 years at NBC
Posted by blu6385
Posted by FirstMate
And now Russell Simmons.
All I keep thinking is that the allegations against each of these men must be outrageously egregious for them to just be stepping down or for them to be fired on the spot.
It is really sad that women are put in a position where they have to tolerate the behavior or be in fear of losing their job or of losing the opportunity for advancement in their career.
I hope this shake up gives pause to future powerful men.
I know this will sound insensitive but if they allowed something and it was consensual and they only did it because they didn't want to be afraid of losing their job or an opportunity then they are to blame as well. They had a choice not do anything get fired and tell them why when it happened. Make a big deal about it then. I am big on you have a choice you may not like your choices but or the results from the choices but you made them.
Now if these women were raped groped or anything done to them with out their consent obviously its wrong and I can see that for some women its hard to come forward about their abuse.
I also question how many of these are real allegations and its not just women trying to hurt them or get money from them because IMO its definitely a possibility for them to do that.
And as I mentioned earlier, I also worry about revenge. Like the guy ends the relationship, or things don't end well, and the woman wants to "get him back".
No matter how you look at it, it's just a mess
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| Posted 11/30/17 12:59 PM |
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Funkybutt
LIF Adult
Member since 4/15 3049 total posts
Name:
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Re: Matt Lauer fired after 20 years at NBC
Posted by blu6385
I also question how many of these are real allegations and its not just women trying to hurt them or get money from them because IMO its definitely a possibility for them to do that.
It's certainly a *possibility* that some women can be doing it to discredit someone, but most of these men have been doing it for years and have been talked about in gossip blogs.
If someone comes out against an abuser and it's untrue, I would think the abuser would fight really hard to prove it isn't true. The only case I can think of is George Takai - only 1 person accused him and nothing was proven. All of the other cases where the men were fired are well known abusers.
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| Posted 11/30/17 12:59 PM |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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Re: Matt Lauer fired after 20 years at NBC
Posted by blu6385
Posted by FirstMate
And now Russell Simmons.
All I keep thinking is that the allegations against each of these men must be outrageously egregious for them to just be stepping down or for them to be fired on the spot.
It is really sad that women are put in a position where they have to tolerate the behavior or be in fear of losing their job or of losing the opportunity for advancement in their career.
I hope this shake up gives pause to future powerful men.
I know this will sound insensitive but if they allowed something and it was consensual and they only did it because they didn't want to be afraid of losing their job or an opportunity then they are to blame as well. They had a choice not do anything get fired and tell them why when it happened. Make a big deal about it then. I am big on you have a choice you may not like your choices but or the results from the choices but you made them.
Now if these women were raped groped or anything done to them with out their consent obviously its wrong and I can see that for some women its hard to come forward about their abuse.
I also question how many of these are real allegations and its not just women trying to hurt them or get money from them because IMO its definitely a possibility for them to do that.
"just getting fired" is not a real option for many people. If you are a single parent, or living paycheck to paycheck, or need your health insurance (or many other reasons), being without your job and paycheck can have dire consequences for many people. If you "make a big deal about it" when you are fired, that doesn't mean they will just give you back your job or write you a big check. It can take years of litigation etc. There are real, serious consequences that many women (people) feel they cannot risk and so feel they must put up with the harassment or whatever is going on.
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| Posted 11/30/17 1:30 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: Matt Lauer fired after 20 years at NBC
Posted by chilltocam
Posted by blu6385
Posted by FirstMate
And now Russell Simmons.
All I keep thinking is that the allegations against each of these men must be outrageously egregious for them to just be stepping down or for them to be fired on the spot.
It is really sad that women are put in a position where they have to tolerate the behavior or be in fear of losing their job or of losing the opportunity for advancement in their career.
I hope this shake up gives pause to future powerful men.
I know this will sound insensitive but if they allowed something and it was consensual and they only did it because they didn't want to be afraid of losing their job or an opportunity then they are to blame as well. They had a choice not do anything get fired and tell them why when it happened. Make a big deal about it then. I am big on you have a choice you may not like your choices but or the results from the choices but you made them.
Now if these women were raped groped or anything done to them with out their consent obviously its wrong and I can see that for some women its hard to come forward about their abuse.
I also question how many of these are real allegations and its not just women trying to hurt them or get money from them because IMO its definitely a possibility for them to do that.
"just getting fired" is not a real option for many people. If you are a single parent, or living paycheck to paycheck, or need your health insurance (or many other reasons), being without your job and paycheck can have dire consequences for many people. If you "make a big deal about it" when you are fired, that doesn't mean they will just give you back your job or write you a big check. It can take years of litigation etc. There are real, serious consequences that many women (people) feel they cannot risk and so feel they must put up with the harassment or whatever is going on.
Blu635...it doesn't just sound insensitive . It is insensitive.
Many of these women did come out years ago and were told the men were worth too much to the company. Imagine being told that after being groped or asked to perform oral sex. Or even worse going through with it because you feared for your job. Pretty sure it's humiliating and embarrassing. Not everyone can afford to loss their job. So imagine having to live with what happened to you just you can pay your bills.The world today is not the same as it was years ago. Women are being heard now.
As for what may not be true. So far, I haven't heard any of the investigations come back saying the accusations weren't true. It seems they are doing some pretty through investigating before these men are being fired or stepping down. And I think most of these women haven't asked for money.
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| Posted 11/30/17 7:16 PM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Matt Lauer fired after 20 years at NBC
I can't afford to lose my job we would not be able to pay bills but for I would not just give into any kind of sex to keep my job. Yes even if it meant not being able to provide for my family. They had a choice and the chose that and to wait years and years to come out how you really didn't want to do it doesn't sit right with me. Esp. When they are women that do these things to purposely advance their career when they don't need the money.
Again though if this was done against their will they were actually forced to do it that's whole other thing.
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| Posted 11/30/17 9:16 PM |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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Re: Matt Lauer fired after 20 years at NBC
Posted by blu6385
I can't afford to lose my job we would not be able to pay bills but for I would not just give into any kind of sex to keep my job. Yes even if it meant not being able to provide for my family. They had a choice and the chose that and to wait years and years to come out how you really didn't want to do it doesn't sit right with me. Esp. When they are women that do these things to purposely advance their career when they don't need the money.
Again though if this was done against their will they were actually forced to do it that's whole other thing.
Not trying to be snarky here, but if your boss or someone in a position of power sexually harassed you at work and you feared getting fired and having your kids be forced to live on the streets or in a homeless shelter, you would walk away from your job? That is an actual reality for some people. I think most (or at least many) women would "deal with" whatever they had to, to make sure they could keep a roof over their kids heads and keep food on the table. I think it's very easy to say "not me" if you are not in that position But if you faced that reality, you might react very differently than when it's just a hypothetical situation that you don't have to actually deal with
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| Posted 11/30/17 10:21 PM |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
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Re: Matt Lauer fired after 20 years at NBC
Posted by blu6385
Posted by FirstMate
And now Russell Simmons.
All I keep thinking is that the allegations against each of these men must be outrageously egregious for them to just be stepping down or for them to be fired on the spot.
It is really sad that women are put in a position where they have to tolerate the behavior or be in fear of losing their job or of losing the opportunity for advancement in their career.
I hope this shake up gives pause to future powerful men.
I know this will sound insensitive but if they allowed something and it was consensual and they only did it because they didn't want to be afraid of losing their job or an opportunity then they are to blame as well. They had a choice not do anything get fired and tell them why when it happened. Make a big deal about it then. I am big on you have a choice you may not like your choices but or the results from the choices but you made them.
Now if these women were raped groped or anything done to them with out their consent obviously its wrong and I can see that for some women its hard to come forward about their abuse.
I also question how many of these are real allegations and its not just women trying to hurt them or get money from them because IMO its definitely a possibility for them to do that.
I am so grateful that I've never been in such a vulnerable and desperate position that I felt trapped in the kinds of situations that some of these women found themselves in.
These types of men specifically prey on women who CAN'T just say no and walk away, for a number of reasons, many of which most of us will never understand. If you can't understand or relate, count your blessings. I know enough to know that it's not exactly black and white, and just because a woman didn't have the courage or willpower to try and stop it right away doesn't mean they aren't just as much a victim.
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| Posted 12/1/17 9:32 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Matt Lauer fired after 20 years at NBC
Posted by Pomegranate5
Posted by blu6385
Posted by FirstMate
And now Russell Simmons.
All I keep thinking is that the allegations against each of these men must be outrageously egregious for them to just be stepping down or for them to be fired on the spot.
It is really sad that women are put in a position where they have to tolerate the behavior or be in fear of losing their job or of losing the opportunity for advancement in their career.
I hope this shake up gives pause to future powerful men.
I know this will sound insensitive but if they allowed something and it was consensual and they only did it because they didn't want to be afraid of losing their job or an opportunity then they are to blame as well. They had a choice not do anything get fired and tell them why when it happened. Make a big deal about it then. I am big on you have a choice you may not like your choices but or the results from the choices but you made them.
Now if these women were raped groped or anything done to them with out their consent obviously its wrong and I can see that for some women its hard to come forward about their abuse.
I also question how many of these are real allegations and its not just women trying to hurt them or get money from them because IMO its definitely a possibility for them to do that.
I am so grateful that I've never been in such a vulnerable and desperate position that I felt trapped in the kinds of situations that some of these women found themselves in.
These types of men specifically prey on women who CAN'T just say no and walk away, for a number of reasons, many of which most of us will never understand. If you can't understand or relate, count your blessings. I know enough to know that it's not exactly black and white, and just because a woman didn't have the courage or willpower to try and stop it right away doesn't mean they aren't just as much a victim.
And companies need to start having zero tolerance for this shit. A woman should be able to go HR and report something like this without fear of retaliation or losing her job.
We had to take a long sexual harassment/ general harassment training and they claim there is no retaliation tolerated for reporting something.
But I have to wonder if that is really true.
They preach it, they have to by law I guess, but I wonder how it plays out in the real world
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| Posted 12/1/17 9:40 AM |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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Re: Matt Lauer fired after 20 years at NBC
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Pomegranate5
Posted by blu6385
Posted by FirstMate
And now Russell Simmons.
All I keep thinking is that the allegations against each of these men must be outrageously egregious for them to just be stepping down or for them to be fired on the spot.
It is really sad that women are put in a position where they have to tolerate the behavior or be in fear of losing their job or of losing the opportunity for advancement in their career.
I hope this shake up gives pause to future powerful men.
I know this will sound insensitive but if they allowed something and it was consensual and they only did it because they didn't want to be afraid of losing their job or an opportunity then they are to blame as well. They had a choice not do anything get fired and tell them why when it happened. Make a big deal about it then. I am big on you have a choice you may not like your choices but or the results from the choices but you made them.
Now if these women were raped groped or anything done to them with out their consent obviously its wrong and I can see that for some women its hard to come forward about their abuse.
I also question how many of these are real allegations and its not just women trying to hurt them or get money from them because IMO its definitely a possibility for them to do that.
I am so grateful that I've never been in such a vulnerable and desperate position that I felt trapped in the kinds of situations that some of these women found themselves in.
These types of men specifically prey on women who CAN'T just say no and walk away, for a number of reasons, many of which most of us will never understand. If you can't understand or relate, count your blessings. I know enough to know that it's not exactly black and white, and just because a woman didn't have the courage or willpower to try and stop it right away doesn't mean they aren't just as much a victim.
And companies need to start having zero tolerance for this shit. A woman should be able to go HR and report something like this without fear of retaliation or losing her job.
We had to take a long sexual harassment/ general harassment training and they claim there is no retaliation tolerated for reporting something.
But I have to wonder if that is really true.
They preach it, they have to by law I guess, but I wonder how it plays out in the real world
The thing is, HR departments are not there to protect employees. Their main function is to protect the company. Sometimes, by coincidence, that means doing the right thing by an employee, but not necessarily. So, yes, they make everyone watch the training videos and issue company policies that prohibit certain behaviors, but that is really done to protect the company - so that if something does happen they can say "look at all the steps we took to prevent this". If a complaint is made against a very "valuable " employee, (or a more valuable employee), the person making the complaint can find themselves out on the street in a heartbeat.
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| Posted 12/1/17 10:31 AM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Matt Lauer fired after 20 years at NBC
Posted by chilltocam
Posted by blu6385
I can't afford to lose my job we would not be able to pay bills but for I would not just give into any kind of sex to keep my job. Yes even if it meant not being able to provide for my family. They had a choice and the chose that and to wait years and years to come out how you really didn't want to do it doesn't sit right with me. Esp. When they are women that do these things to purposely advance their career when they don't need the money.
Again though if this was done against their will they were actually forced to do it that's whole other thing.
Not trying to be snarky here, but if your boss or someone in a position of power sexually harassed you at work and you feared getting fired and having your kids be forced to live on the streets or in a homeless shelter, you would walk away from your job? That is an actual reality for some people. I think most (or at least many) women would "deal with" whatever they had to, to make sure they could keep a roof over their kids heads and keep food on the table. I think it's very easy to say "not me" if you are not in that position But if you faced that reality, you might react very differently than when it's just a hypothetical situation that you don't have to actually deal with
yes I would. I wouldn't go quietly but yes I would. I will stand up for myself. I will look for a job and take what I can get. But I sure hell will not accept being sexually harassed, give into sex just to keep my job. I will however create a scene when its happening going to my HR and making the biggest deal even if I am going to get fired.
This particular case we are talking what 2014 when this happened and they wait 3 years to say there were harassed because they were afraid of being fired. With all the social media out there and tons of outlets I can't get behind someone saying the did something out of will but only because they didn't want to get fired. Waited 3 years and then decided oh let me come out and say this.
Do I think actions being taking are wrong. No.
Again if any of this was against anyone's will then I have no issues. My issue is with anyone willing to do it but then claiming they only didn't because the didn't want to get fired.
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| Posted 12/1/17 10:46 AM |
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Funkybutt
LIF Adult
Member since 4/15 3049 total posts
Name:
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Matt Lauer fired after 20 years at NBC
There are many cases where women came out publicly years ago but nothing ever happened (that's how so many of us knew about it from gossip blogs). They're coming out again, 3 years later, because companies are finally doing something about these predators and the women know they'll finally be heard and that something will be done.
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| Posted 12/1/17 11:03 AM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: Matt Lauer fired after 20 years at NBC
Posted by blu6385
Posted by chilltocam
Posted by blu6385
I can't afford to lose my job we would not be able to pay bills but for I would not just give into any kind of sex to keep my job. Yes even if it meant not being able to provide for my family. They had a choice and the chose that and to wait years and years to come out how you really didn't want to do it doesn't sit right with me. Esp. When they are women that do these things to purposely advance their career when they don't need the money.
Again though if this was done against their will they were actually forced to do it that's whole other thing.
Not trying to be snarky here, but if your boss or someone in a position of power sexually harassed you at work and you feared getting fired and having your kids be forced to live on the streets or in a homeless shelter, you would walk away from your job? That is an actual reality for some people. I think most (or at least many) women would "deal with" whatever they had to, to make sure they could keep a roof over their kids heads and keep food on the table. I think it's very easy to say "not me" if you are not in that position But if you faced that reality, you might react very differently than when it's just a hypothetical situation that you don't have to actually deal with
yes I would. I wouldn't go quietly but yes I would. I will stand up for myself. I will look for a job and take what I can get. But I sure hell will not accept being sexually harassed, give into sex just to keep my job. I will however create a scene when its happening going to my HR and making the biggest deal even if I am going to get fired.
This particular case we are talking what 2014 when this happened and they wait 3 years to say there were harassed because they were afraid of being fired. With all the social media out there and tons of outlets I can't get behind someone saying the did something out of will but only because they didn't want to get fired. Waited 3 years and then decided oh let me come out and say this.
Do I think actions being taking are wrong. No.
Again if any of this was against anyone's will then I have no issues. My issue is with anyone willing to do it but then claiming they only didn't because the didn't want to get fired.
Let's hope you never have to be faced with making such a decision.
Because just taking what you can get doesn't always pay the bills. Including student loans you may have for the job you love that you had to leave because your boss was too valuable to the company. But you were nothing to them.
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| Posted 12/1/17 11:04 AM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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Re: Matt Lauer fired after 20 years at NBC
Posted by MsSissy
Posted by blu6385
Posted by chilltocam
Posted by blu6385
I can't afford to lose my job we would not be able to pay bills but for I would not just give into any kind of sex to keep my job. Yes even if it meant not being able to provide for my family. They had a choice and the chose that and to wait years and years to come out how you really didn't want to do it doesn't sit right with me. Esp. When they are women that do these things to purposely advance their career when they don't need the money.
Again though if this was done against their will they were actually forced to do it that's whole other thing.
Not trying to be snarky here, but if your boss or someone in a position of power sexually harassed you at work and you feared getting fired and having your kids be forced to live on the streets or in a homeless shelter, you would walk away from your job? That is an actual reality for some people. I think most (or at least many) women would "deal with" whatever they had to, to make sure they could keep a roof over their kids heads and keep food on the table. I think it's very easy to say "not me" if you are not in that position But if you faced that reality, you might react very differently than when it's just a hypothetical situation that you don't have to actually deal with
yes I would. I wouldn't go quietly but yes I would. I will stand up for myself. I will look for a job and take what I can get. But I sure hell will not accept being sexually harassed, give into sex just to keep my job. I will however create a scene when its happening going to my HR and making the biggest deal even if I am going to get fired.
This particular case we are talking what 2014 when this happened and they wait 3 years to say there were harassed because they were afraid of being fired. With all the social media out there and tons of outlets I can't get behind someone saying the did something out of will but only because they didn't want to get fired. Waited 3 years and then decided oh let me come out and say this.
Do I think actions being taking are wrong. No.
Again if any of this was against anyone's will then I have no issues. My issue is with anyone willing to do it but then claiming they only didn't because the didn't want to get fired.
Let's hope you never have to be faced with making such a decision.
Because just taking what you can get doesn't always pay the bills. Including student loans you may have for the job you love that you had to leave because your boss was too valuable to the company. But you were nothing to them.
ITA. What you quoted was written by someone who has never had to live in the real world.
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| Posted 12/1/17 11:31 AM |
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tray831
Dee-licious!
Member since 3/06 5355 total posts
Name:
His Baby
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Re: Matt Lauer fired after 20 years at NBC
I'm not getting most of the logic on this post.
If you are a happily married woman; you would really have an affair just to keep your job because you need to pay bills???
I couldn't even imagine the guilt, the embarrassment; the shame going to work every day knowing what I just did.
There would be no way. I get there are bills to be paid; but I know ME and there is no way I could ever get myself in a situation like that.
More or less, jobs are a dime a dozen; sorta speak. No job would be worth it for me to go through that mentally and physically. Just so I can pay bills?? NOPE....NO FKN WAY!!
I do know women who have. The owner of the company was so gross and disgusting looking; I couldn't even fathom such pretty women doing this  with him. But they did. Maybe they weren't happy in their own life.......or marriage? Or maybe the physical attraction was very strong between the two people. I dont know.
But for me; I just can't comprehend it. And I know most will say; if you haven't been in the situation; you can't say if you would or not. But I know I totally couldn't. Maybe it depends on the person? I don't know. But I do know that no amount of money is worth that. To me anyway.
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| Posted 12/1/17 11:44 AM |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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Re: Matt Lauer fired after 20 years at NBC
Posted by Funkybutt
There are many cases where women came out publicly years ago but nothing ever happened (that's how so many of us knew about it from gossip blogs). They're coming out again, 3 years later, because companies are finally doing something about these predators and the women know they'll finally be heard and that something will be done.
Exactly. Look at what happened to Anita Hill. A well educated woman who tried to speak out. She was vilified in the news etc - and that was way before the influence of social media. Just imagine the hatred that would have been thrown at her if FB and other social media existed when she spoke out against Clarence Thomas
Message edited 12/1/2017 12:01:49 PM.
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| Posted 12/1/17 11:51 AM |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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Re: Matt Lauer fired after 20 years at NBC
Posted by tray831
I'm not getting most of the logic on this post.
If you are a happily married woman; you would really have an affair just to keep your job because you need to pay bills???
I couldn't even imagine the guilt, the embarrassment; the shame going to work every day knowing what I just did.
There would be no way. I get there are bills to be paid; but I know ME and there is no way I could ever get myself in a situation like that.
More or less, jobs are a dime a dozen; sorta speak. No job would be worth it for me to go through that mentally and physically. Just so I can pay bills?? NOPE....NO FKN WAY!!
I do know women who have. The owner of the company was so gross and disgusting looking; I couldn't even fathom such pretty women doing this with him. But they did. Maybe they weren't happy in their own life.......or marriage? Or maybe the physical attraction was very strong between the two people. I dont know.
But for me; I just can't comprehend it. And I know most will say; if you haven't been in the situation; you can't say if you would or not. But I know I totally couldn't. Maybe it depends on the person? I don't know. But I do know that no amount of money is worth that. To me anyway.
Sexual harassment is much more than just being forced or coerced to have sex. What if your boss grabbed you ass every day? Made lewd comments? Exposed himself? Would you risk your kids being homeless over those types of things? (Again, not trying to be snarky- truly curious)
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| Posted 12/1/17 11:55 AM |
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tray831
Dee-licious!
Member since 3/06 5355 total posts
Name:
His Baby
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Re: Matt Lauer fired after 20 years at NBC
Posted by chilltocam
Posted by tray831
I'm not getting most of the logic on this post.
If you are a happily married woman; you would really have an affair just to keep your job because you need to pay bills???
I couldn't even imagine the guilt, the embarrassment; the shame going to work every day knowing what I just did.
There would be no way. I get there are bills to be paid; but I know ME and there is no way I could ever get myself in a situation like that.
More or less, jobs are a dime a dozen; sorta speak. No job would be worth it for me to go through that mentally and physically. Just so I can pay bills?? NOPE....NO FKN WAY!!
I do know women who have. The owner of the company was so gross and disgusting looking; I couldn't even fathom such pretty women doing this with him. But they did. Maybe they weren't happy in their own life.......or marriage? Or maybe the physical attraction was very strong between the two people. I dont know.
But for me; I just can't comprehend it. And I know most will say; if you haven't been in the situation; you can't say if you would or not. But I know I totally couldn't. Maybe it depends on the person? I don't know. But I do know that no amount of money is worth that. To me anyway.
Sexual harassment is much more than just being forced or coerced to have sex. What if your boss grabbed you ass every day? Made lewd comments? Exposed himself? Would you risk your kids being homeless over those types of things? (Again, not trying to be snarky- truly curious)
I just think I would throw up. But I get what you are saying. Not necessarily sex per se. Maybe that is what I am trying to relate this to; and not really relating to anything else. But I will say if any of what you mentioned made me extremely uncomfortable; I would have to do something about it. If it made me that uneasy, yes, I would have to deal with the consequences of finding a new job. That's just my opinion; and not necessarily the opinion of others.
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| Posted 12/1/17 12:04 PM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7789 total posts
Name:
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Re: Matt Lauer fired after 20 years at NBC
I think a lot of women are putting themselves in these other women's positions in their own mind but what we don't understand, as lay people who do not work in these industries, is the level of competition. How many women do you think were standing in line to fill Meghan Kelly or Gretchen Carlson or Ann Curry's spot as the co-host of an uber successful news program? Or Ashley Judd's role? Or some intern's position being the assistant to Matt Lauer? Yes, maybe you can find a replacement job very quickly, like at Target, but are you willing to give up the career you have worked so hard to advance in, in a super competitive industry, because your powerful boss repeatedly pinches your ass or made a bunch of lewd comments?
And let's be real. You know Matt Lauer has enablers at NBC who knew all about this. Who the hell authorized him to have a lock button installed in his desk?? I would bet my last dime that after he was done with whatever victim he preyed on, his minions would come and say "keep your mouth shut. If you don't, NBC will run a story on -your parent's small business and how lousy it is- (or fill in the blank) and we will destroy them. And you will also never work in this industry again." Oh, and by the way, now some 23 year old intern comes out against the almighty Matt Lauer? Yeah, good luck with that.
This is not a black and white situation. You can stand on your soap box and preach about personal morals but until you are actually in that position, where you are faced with your integrity v. losing everything that is important to you and your career, you have no idea what you would do.
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| Posted 12/1/17 12:14 PM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7789 total posts
Name:
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Re: Matt Lauer fired after 20 years at NBC
Nobody wants to see your ****
I know the situation is not funny but this article is very funny. I really can't believe this even needs to be said, but I'm glad someone said it!
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| Posted 12/1/17 12:21 PM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Matt Lauer fired after 20 years at NBC
Posted by jlm2008
Posted by MsSissy
Posted by blu6385
Posted by chilltocam
Posted by blu6385
I can't afford to lose my job we would not be able to pay bills but for I would not just give into any kind of sex to keep my job. Yes even if it meant not being able to provide for my family. They had a choice and the chose that and to wait years and years to come out how you really didn't want to do it doesn't sit right with me. Esp. When they are women that do these things to purposely advance their career when they don't need the money.
Again though if this was done against their will they were actually forced to do it that's whole other thing.
Not trying to be snarky here, but if your boss or someone in a position of power sexually harassed you at work and you feared getting fired and having your kids be forced to live on the streets or in a homeless shelter, you would walk away from your job? That is an actual reality for some people. I think most (or at least many) women would "deal with" whatever they had to, to make sure they could keep a roof over their kids heads and keep food on the table. I think it's very easy to say "not me" if you are not in that position But if you faced that reality, you might react very differently than when it's just a hypothetical situation that you don't have to actually deal with
yes I would. I wouldn't go quietly but yes I would. I will stand up for myself. I will look for a job and take what I can get. But I sure hell will not accept being sexually harassed, give into sex just to keep my job. I will however create a scene when its happening going to my HR and making the biggest deal even if I am going to get fired.
This particular case we are talking what 2014 when this happened and they wait 3 years to say there were harassed because they were afraid of being fired. With all the social media out there and tons of outlets I can't get behind someone saying the did something out of will but only because they didn't want to get fired. Waited 3 years and then decided oh let me come out and say this.
Do I think actions being taking are wrong. No.
Again if any of this was against anyone's will then I have no issues. My issue is with anyone willing to do it but then claiming they only didn't because the didn't want to get fired.
Let's hope you never have to be faced with making such a decision.
Because just taking what you can get doesn't always pay the bills. Including student loans you may have for the job you love that you had to leave because your boss was too valuable to the company. But you were nothing to them.
ITA. What you quoted was written by someone who has never had to live in the real world.
are you talking about me not having to live in the real world. If so I have no idea what that means. Nothing in my life was handed to me. I have already stated that I could never afford to lose my job but that still won't stop me from sleeping with someone to keep it!! Sorry yes I rather be living on the streets then sleep with someone to keep my job. That's reality nothing will change my mind on that. I would feel bad for my children and I would do everything I can to prevent it but I would not just sleep with someone!!
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| Posted 12/1/17 2:08 PM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: Matt Lauer fired after 20 years at NBC
Posted by tray831
Posted by chilltocam
Posted by tray831
I'm not getting most of the logic on this post.
If you are a happily married woman; you would really have an affair just to keep your job because you need to pay bills???
I couldn't even imagine the guilt, the embarrassment; the shame going to work every day knowing what I just did.
There would be no way. I get there are bills to be paid; but I know ME and there is no way I could ever get myself in a situation like that.
More or less, jobs are a dime a dozen; sorta speak. No job would be worth it for me to go through that mentally and physically. Just so I can pay bills?? NOPE....NO FKN WAY!!
I do know women who have. The owner of the company was so gross and disgusting looking; I couldn't even fathom such pretty women doing this with him. But they did. Maybe they weren't happy in their own life.......or marriage? Or maybe the physical attraction was very strong between the two people. I dont know.
But for me; I just can't comprehend it. And I know most will say; if you haven't been in the situation; you can't say if you would or not. But I know I totally couldn't. Maybe it depends on the person? I don't know. But I do know that no amount of money is worth that. To me anyway.
Sexual harassment is much more than just being forced or coerced to have sex. What if your boss grabbed you ass every day? Made lewd comments? Exposed himself? Would you risk your kids being homeless over those types of things? (Again, not trying to be snarky- truly curious)
I just think I would throw up. But I get what you are saying. Not necessarily sex per se. Maybe that is what I am trying to relate this to; and not really relating to anything else. But I will say if any of what you mentioned made me extremely uncomfortable; I would have to do something about it. If it made me that uneasy, yes, I would have to deal with the consequences of finding a new job. That's just my opinion; and not necessarily the opinion of others.
thank you at least someone gets my logic!!
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| Posted 12/1/17 2:09 PM |
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jamnmore
LIF Adult
Member since 6/16 989 total posts
Name:
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Re: Matt Lauer fired after 20 years at NBC
Posted by chilltocam
Posted by tray831
I'm not getting most of the logic on this post.
If you are a happily married woman; you would really have an affair just to keep your job because you need to pay bills???
I couldn't even imagine the guilt, the embarrassment; the shame going to work every day knowing what I just did.
There would be no way. I get there are bills to be paid; but I know ME and there is no way I could ever get myself in a situation like that.
More or less, jobs are a dime a dozen; sorta speak. No job would be worth it for me to go through that mentally and physically. Just so I can pay bills?? NOPE....NO FKN WAY!!
I do know women who have. The owner of the company was so gross and disgusting looking; I couldn't even fathom such pretty women doing this with him. But they did. Maybe they weren't happy in their own life.......or marriage? Or maybe the physical attraction was very strong between the two people. I dont know.
But for me; I just can't comprehend it. And I know most will say; if you haven't been in the situation; you can't say if you would or not. But I know I totally couldn't. Maybe it depends on the person? I don't know. But I do know that no amount of money is worth that. To me anyway.
Sexual harassment is much more than just being forced or coerced to have sex. What if your boss grabbed you ass every day? Made lewd comments? Exposed himself? Would you risk your kids being homeless over those types of things? (Again, not trying to be snarky- truly curious)
But then by this logic aren't you saying that a woman should put up with it for the sake of her family? If I had to go to work and worry about my ass being grabbed daily, damn straight I would do something about it. Regardless of what my financial situation is. No person should have to go to work and feel like that.
I had a job once that had turned and become emotionally abusive. Even though I needed my job, I quit when I was told that I was an ugly, ugly person and therefore worthless. Should I have kept my mouth shut and just continued to work everyday because I needed the paycheck?
Personally, I do not understand the benefit of coming out about this so many years later. Some as many as 20 years. How is that helping?
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| Posted 12/1/17 2:29 PM |
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