If you could pick having children 3 years or 4 years apart which would you pick?

We have a 2 year old...

In my mind we would start trying for #2 after DS turned 3 ...

We were talking about possibly starting to try this winter...

What do you think the pros and cons are of the age differences if you could choose...

(this is all assuming we have no trouble conceiving )

If you could pick having children 3 years or 4 years apart which would you pick?

All I see are pros. I think 3 years between is perfect. Even 4 isn't that bad but I prefer 3.

Mine are 3 years apart and it's great. It's always been good in my eyes. They play together .. My older one can help out (running to grab a diaper, looks out for him, is kind of a leader).

I know many like them close in age and to each his own .. But I find it must be a lot harder, work-wise and even financially. Little DS has clothes and toys from older DS. Older DS doesn't want to play with baby toys so there's no fighting. They rarely fight as it is.. They are little buddies and I love how little DS really looks up to older DS and listens to him. Makes my life a lot easier.

Even looking ahead .. 3 years is a nice buffer between when my older one starts to drive .. And college... All those expenses will be 3 years apart.

I wouldn't have changed a thing honestly.

I'm four years apart from my brother. We played together just fine. We aren't too close but that's because we are very different but I love him just the same.

Have another! Sending you good conception vibes :)

If you could pick having children 3 years or 4 years apart which would you pick?

Also to add.. It's nice having alone time with them individually. You can't do that a lot when kids are close in age. For example .. If I'm off during the week, little DS and I hang out and bond when older one is in school. When little DS goes to bed early, older DS and I talk and watch a move or read together.

I really like that part. I think they each crave their alone time with me during the day.

Re: If you could pick having children 3 years or 4 years apart which would you pick?

My DD will be 33 months older than this LO. I think that's a good age difference...or even 3 years. I think 4 is pushing it, and anything more than 4 is too big, IMO.

I'm 4.5 years older than my brother...growing up, we played together, but I don't think it was the same as if we were only 2-3 years apart. He had his toys, I had mine, there was too much of an age gap to really share/be interested in the same toys. I had to watch him when we played outside, and include him when I had friends over, and it was a serious drag b/c what 10 year old girl wants to play with her 5 year old brother?!? I'm sure that's typical sibling stuff, but I always wished we were a little closer in age. My sister is 12 years younger than me and 6.5 years younger than my brother, but that's a whole different story! Lol.

(We are all super close now though!)

Re: If you could pick having children 3 years or 4 years apart which would you pick?

Our original plan was a 3-year age difference. I thought it was a nice spacing for a few reasons: older one is in preschool so you get some quiet time with the baby. Older one is probably potty trained so you only have one in diapers. They'd be in elementary school and HS together. They're still close enough in age that they'd eventually play together, might have friends in common, etc.

But having two kids two years apart worked out well, too

Re: If you could pick having children 3 years or 4 years apart which would you pick?

My 3 kids are three years apart. My sister and I are 4 years apart and I always felt like we were always at different stages of our lives when we were growing up. I really think that one year makes a difference and I hope that they will be close.

Re: If you could pick having children 3 years or 4 years apart which would you pick?

This is exactly the question I'm wondering myself:)

If you could pick having children 3 years or 4 years apart which would you pick?

My kids are 3 1/2 years apart, wanted 3 years but it took us a little longer to get pregnant the 2nd time around. I love it, as one of the previous poster said it gives you alone time with both of them. I get a few hours in the morning with DS2 while the older one is in pre-k then aat night i get night with the other one while the baby is sleeping.

The older DS is a great help as well, plus they are still close enough in age to like the same things at the same time which is nice

If you could pick having children 3 years or 4 years apart which would you pick?

My sister & I are 4 years apart. We always had different friends and were at completely different stages of life for our entire childhoods. When I was a freshman in college she was a freshman in high school- there was no way I would be caught dead hanging out with a 14 year old at 18. Haha. But now, at 32 & 28, we are the best of friends. We get along great, hang out all the time, and have so much in common. We are planning to TTC # 3 when DS # 2 turns 3, so they will be just about 4 years apart. I think it will be fine.

Re: If you could pick having children 3 years or 4 years apart which would you pick?

Here's the thing, if you want 4 years apart you don't know how long it will take to conceive. It might take longer then expected and they will be 5 years apart.

In my head I wanted to start when my DD turned 2 but we weren't ready so we started when she was 2.5...shes now 3 years old and we have been TTC for 6 months already and no dice.

I wouldn't base my decision on how many years apart you want them but based on if your ready or not.





ETA: just read "(this is all assuming we have no trouble conceiving)" lol oops!!

Message edited 10/20/2013 7:38:44 PM.

Re: If you could pick having children 3 years or 4 years apart which would you pick?

My DD will turn 3 on 11/4 and our new LO is due 11/15! I like that we waited 3 years because we really enjoyed her as an only child and now she is so excited to be a big sister. I'm sure 4 would have been great as well but should we decide to go for number 3 I want to be all done before my 35th birthday.

Re: If you could pick having children 3 years or 4 years apart which would you pick?

Were thinking of starting to try after DS turns 3. My sister and I are 4 years apart and are very close. So I figured thats what we will do, plus DS will be in school by the time #2 comes so it will be a little easier