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Shorty
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Member since 5/05 30390 total posts
Name:
really
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bittersweet day
Exactly 1 year ago tonight was my ultrascreen ... The first time my little gummy bear of a Logan waved & wiggled on camera for me.  
Also the 1 year mark of being told, "I'm so sorry, one didn't make it." There was 1 wiggly baby form, 1 still baby form. It was like a movie - my vision tunneled, my ears got hot. How could this happen? We saw 2 babies TWICE already! We heard 2 heartbeats for several weeks! I couldn't help but think it was my fault for being so sick. Couldn't help but feel like the most awful mother already.  I was in a bad bad place that night and the days to follow, but every day since has gotten a little better. I dropped a little tear this morning when I was backing out of my parking spot and caught a glimpse of the carseat in my backseat, imagining there were 2 seats.
My little lovekin is now 24 weeks old and his new thing is "mamamamamamamamama".  He's come a long way since his little wiggles. 
I don't even know why I posted this. I don't expect anyone to acknowledge anything about today. I don't even think my husband remembers. It just feels better to get it out.
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Posted 1/15/10 2:19 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Angel321
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Member since 4/08 15553 total posts
Name:
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Re: bittersweet day
many hugs nic....
many hugs.
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| Posted 1/15/10 2:20 PM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: bittersweet day
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| Posted 1/15/10 2:21 PM |
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Smileyd17
kids
Member since 5/05 20997 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: bittersweet day
You can get it out here anytime!
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| Posted 1/15/10 2:21 PM |
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Shorty
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Member since 5/05 30390 total posts
Name:
really
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Re: bittersweet day
i'm sorry, i put this on the wrong board 
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| Posted 1/15/10 2:22 PM |
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Re: bittersweet day
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| Posted 1/15/10 2:23 PM |
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AnnBrunoXO
2 Girls For Me!
Member since 5/05 4377 total posts
Name:
MaMMa
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Re: bittersweet day
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| Posted 1/15/10 2:25 PM |
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Rycois
Blessed with 2blue/2pink
Member since 12/05 13341 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: bittersweet day
No need to apologize - sometimes we just need to share, to help us through the mourning process.
Thinking of you
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| Posted 1/15/10 2:27 PM |
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TaraHutch
True beauty
Member since 10/07 9888 total posts
Name:
Tara
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Re: bittersweet day
Ugh Nic, your post totally touched me. I can only imagine...
But I CAN imagine the joy you feel every single day with that cutie little guy of yours! He's a wonderful little miracle, and you're an awesome Mom!!
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| Posted 1/15/10 2:27 PM |
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Peainapod
Peanuts are here!
Member since 1/09 13591 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: bittersweet day
awww...just focus on Logan. he's a great little guy.
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| Posted 1/15/10 2:28 PM |
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ABCiverson
<3 my family
Member since 1/06 7465 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: bittersweet day
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| Posted 1/15/10 2:31 PM |
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MrsPornStar
Partners in crime
Member since 10/05 14656 total posts
Name:
Mama
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Re: bittersweet day
What a bittersweet day is right. You have such an incredible boy but it's still ok to mourn the loss of the one that didn't make it.
Logan is awesome! Look at how far you've come in a year.
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| Posted 1/15/10 2:31 PM |
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Re: bittersweet day
Totally teared up but this is such a bittersweet memory:)
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| Posted 1/15/10 2:31 PM |
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sj-girl
Happy Family of 4
Member since 5/08 5654 total posts
Name:
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Re: bittersweet day
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| Posted 1/15/10 2:34 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: bittersweet day
awww, how bittersweet....sorry for your loss
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| Posted 1/15/10 2:43 PM |
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: bittersweet day
Logan has his own guardian angel in his sibling. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm so happy for your beautiful boy.
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| Posted 1/15/10 2:51 PM |
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julz33
i run for bacon
Member since 5/05 20584 total posts
Name:
julz
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Re: bittersweet day
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| Posted 1/15/10 2:52 PM |
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spa118
LIF Adult
Member since 3/09 2157 total posts
Name:
Shari
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Re: bittersweet day
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| Posted 1/15/10 2:53 PM |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: bittersweet day
awwww... that brought tears to my eyes. Even though you had Logan, it was still a loss to lose your other baby.
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| Posted 1/15/10 2:55 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: bittersweet day
I bet you anything Rich remembers too. There is nothing wrong with grieving! You are amazingly blessed, but you've had a loss too. Never feel bad for remembering that other little angel, and for wondering what might have been.
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| Posted 1/15/10 2:58 PM |
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kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
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Re: bittersweet day
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| Posted 1/15/10 3:02 PM |
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JenniferEver
The Disney Lady
Member since 5/05 18163 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: bittersweet day
for you, mama. I can't believe it's been a year. But what a year!
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| Posted 1/15/10 3:16 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: bittersweet day
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| Posted 1/15/10 3:16 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: bittersweet day
It's the right board. As wise woman told me grief & joy can co-exist.
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| Posted 1/15/10 3:19 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: bittersweet day
I knew exactly what your FB status was about today but I wasn't sure if you wanted people to know or if it was supposed to be private.
Many hugs for you today!
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| Posted 1/15/10 3:20 PM |
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