FTWM vs SAHM

The other post made me wonder - in general, who do you think has a harder "job": FTWM or SAHM.

I'm a FTWM and can't even imagine how difficult the life of a SAHM is. I love my kid but I couldn't do it 24/7. Work is a nice break for me.

FTWM vs SAHM

I'm a sahm. I think both have different pros and cons. There are challenges in both. But yes, 24/7 with a baby is no joke.

FTWM vs SAHM

I'm a FTWM. I think being a mother in general is hard work. With that being said, I give SAHM A LOT of credit!!

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I'm a FTWM who would love to be a SAHM or at the very least a PTWM. I acknowledge how VERY difficult being a SAHM is, however currently, IMO, being a working mom has the added difficulty of leaving your baby every day in the care of someone else, and for me that is excruciating. This is just a personal opinion and not a bash on anyone, but that makes it more difficult for me to be a FTWM.

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I think it's not quantifiable at all.

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I could never be a SAHM so I voted that I am a FTWM and I think SAHM is harder.
For ME it would be at least.

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Posted by ali120206

Posted by Eireann

I think it's not quantifiable at all.

I agree and I think the post may end up heading towards

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FTWM vs SAHM

There is absolutely no way to equate them. I am a FTWM and love it, but being a SAHM is not for me and I give anyone who does it a TON of credit, and I would expect that a SAHM acknowledge that being a FTWM is exactly the same.

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i've been both and the two are impossible to compare.

as a SAHM for 2 years, the older DS got,t he harder it got to entertain him, keep him occupied, not be exhausted since he refused naps. The emotional nightmare of feeling worthless, like i was not contributing, and lack of control were awful. Never getting anything done at home, always feeling behind.

BUT

as a FTWM, not seeing DS all day, trying to not think about him at work and the detachment that creates in me is horrible. Never getting anything done at home, always feeling behind.

I can't compare the two because it was hard on completely different levels. to me, the PTWM seems the best compromise. If only i could find a job to accommodate that!

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These posts never end well...

That said, I'm a FTWM, and I think that it is harder in terms of time management, but being a SAHM would be more difficult for me in terms of my mental sanity. I love my time with my DD, but after 2 weeks of being home with her over winter break, I was kind of happy to go to work on Monday..lol!

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I'm a PTWM so I get to be both (I go into the office two days a week) and I think both FTWM and SAHM are ridiculously hard.

I don't know how SAHM's do it without having "me time". I get to go to work two days a week, chat with adults, pee alone, read a book on the train. My days at home with the kids are HARD and demanding. I don't know how they do it day after day after day without clawing at the front door waiting for DH to come home... it's HARD!

I also don't know how FTWM do it..how they coordinate the logistics of their family's weekday lives and how they don't spend the entire evening coordinating everything for childcare the next day, creating a life/work balance that works for them, cramming as much quality time with their LO's as possible on weekends, missing daytime activities or having to use vacation time to do it.. it's HARD!!!

Us PTWM.. THEY are the ones you should direct your judgement on... we have it made

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I think they're just soooo different that it's hard to compare. I'm a PTWM so I feel like I can sorta see both sides of it. I hate leaving my kids (especially going back to work when they're only 12 weeks or less, ugh!) but there are days when I'm home alone with them and I want to rip my hair out.

I think both are really hard but in their owns ways. I guess I'd tip the scales a tiny bit towards it being harder to work full time mainly because I know many more FTWM's who whish they could afford to stay home than SAHM's who wish they could work. I do know that this is NOT always the case.

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Depends on what type of job you have... and probably how many kids you have.

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I think both are very hard. I've done both and now I work PT from home.

Full time - DS1 was in daycare since 3 months for almost 10 hours a day. I had to get up super early, have everything ready then get DS up to go to DC so I could work then pick him up, rush home for dinner, play, bath... put him to bed and then get everything ready for the next day.
DS1 did amazing bc of being in daycare so early and being that he had some dev delays I think daycare was a big help.

I had DS2 at daycare with DS1 only a few months then left my job.
DS1 started going to school for speech so I was able to get some things done, enjoy the summer and get a lot done without trying to spend a fortune.
About a year ago I was hired to work at home PT. I love this as well, but now it's tough to get the kids out. I just started my younger DS at preschool 2 days a week (he's 2).
Long story short... both has it's benefits and negatives. Both are also exhausting and rewarding.
I do LOVE being at home now though and I used to say I could never be a SAHM. Now that I work PT it is nice to get some salary. I plan on putting in more hours in the future and still stay at home (unless I get fired for messing things up bc I feel working at home with the kids is hard!! LOL)

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I'm a SAHM of one 3 year old son.
I think that its not only about whether you work or SAH... theres more that goes into it. like how much help you have close by, your work hours, your kid's personality, etc, etc, etc.
In my case, I worked at an elementary school before DS.... so going to work wouldn't be really a break for me, I would still be chasing kids around and entertaining them all day LOL

everybody should do what works best for their family.... no judgement

FTWM vs SAHM

I've done both- I went back to work at 12 weeks, and worked until my ds was 15 months and we moved. I had to leave my job.

I've been home since August now.

Being home is so much harder for me. But that's my personality. Also, my family was watching him while I worked before, so that made it easier, knowing he was with someone who was giving him sole attention and who loved him.

I just got a job offer, so I'll be starting work again soon snd he'll have to go to daycare, I think I'm more nervous to leave him now than I was at 12 weeks. But at the same time, I know he's almost two and would probably benefit from,being with other kids.

It's my personality, but I find staying at home so hard. I have no time to myself, I can't even pee alone. At work I felt like I got to be a person, right now i feel like I have no identity other then mom.

I also loved my job, which I'm sur helped. I was doing something I was passionate about and that I felt was helping people. If it was something I just tolerated to pay the bills, I might have felt differently.

FTWM vs SAHM

i have done both… well i am a part time working mom..
i find working much much harder.

so hard to balance, PTA, kids, making sure everyone is up, and being on such a strict time schedule.

being a SAHM, meant things were done when they got done. i was able to be 100% involved in the PTA and not half arse it.

i give credit to FTWM… being a SAHM has it's frustrations, but so much easier and much more relaxing.

at least for me it was.

ETA: also being a SAHM meant lots of playdates not only for my kids, but getting to see friends all the time

Message edited 1/8/2014 3:08:35 PM.

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I am a PTSAHM. I work 3 days a week and am home the other days. However, I work from home and only go in tot he office a few times a month.

To be honest, I find both equally challenging. Making sure I have child care during the week (parents watch him), taking him to school, activities on my off days, running errands, cleaning, cooking……it's hard to fit everything in.

I love it though and it's a good balance for me.

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I've done both. FTWM is harder for me. I have to do everything I did as a SAHM, but crammed into less hours & it takes time away from just playing with my kids.

FTWM vs SAHM

Both have their difficult and easy days. I wouldn't say one if more difficult than the other.