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How to handle this situation?

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FirstMate
My lil cowboy

Member since 10/10

7786 total posts

Name:

How to handle this situation?

We are renovating our home right now. A very close family friend is doing certain aspects of the job. He is doing everything for us at his cost which is saving us a significant amount of money. He is doing the work himself (rather than his crew) and not charging us for the labor which is ridiculous. We asked him to do this job because we know his workmanship is top quality. Of course we were happy to get a discount on the materials but we aren't looking to take advantage of our friend. We told him that we are paying him for the labor and he blew us off, saying that it will "only take me an hour" and it's not a big deal, blah blah. Maybe it is only taking him an hour...I have no idea as we are not at the house but I still don't think it's right. This is his side gig and not his bread and butter but I still think he should get paid for his time. But I know him and I know he will fight us on it if we try to give him cash. What can we do as a thank you to him?

Posted 2/16/23 11:13 AM
 
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JandJ1224

Member since 6/06

5911 total posts

Name:
Jannette

Re: How to handle this situation?

Maybe a nice gift card to a restaurant he likes or if he likes a massage gift card.

I think its very generous and he must be a good friend. I'm sure he genuinely wants to do it for you and if you offered to pay and he declined doesn't want you to.

Posted 2/16/23 11:16 AM
 

ali120206
2 Boys

Member since 7/06

17785 total posts

Name:

How to handle this situation?

I was thinking a giftcard to a nice restaurant as well.

Posted 2/16/23 11:17 AM
 

FirstMate
My lil cowboy

Member since 10/10

7786 total posts

Name:

Re: How to handle this situation?

Posted by JandJ1224

Maybe a nice gift card to a restaurant he likes or if he likes a massage gift card.

I think its very generous and he must be a good friend. I'm sure he genuinely wants to do it for you and if you offered to pay and he declined doesn't want you to.



That's what it is. We are very good friends. Our kids are BFFs so we do a lot together. Last year I did some work for his family and I refused to take money because I wanted to do it to help and also, it took me 20 minutes and he's equating the situations which is not even close.

How much of a gift card would you all do?

Posted 2/16/23 11:34 AM
 

ali120206
2 Boys

Member since 7/06

17785 total posts

Name:

Re: How to handle this situation?

Posted by FirstMate

Posted by JandJ1224

Maybe a nice gift card to a restaurant he likes or if he likes a massage gift card.

I think its very generous and he must be a good friend. I'm sure he genuinely wants to do it for you and if you offered to pay and he declined doesn't want you to.



That's what it is. We are very good friends. Our kids are BFFs so we do a lot together. Last year I did some work for his family and I refused to take money because I wanted to do it to help and also, it took me 20 minutes and he's equating the situations which is not even close.

How much of a gift card would you all do?



Ugh - then its awkward if you did work for them already lol. Even though its different.

If you go a giftcard route, I would say $100 or $200 depending on the amount of work done.

Posted 2/16/23 11:50 AM
 

mrsrainbow
LIF Adult

Member since 1/17

1465 total posts

Name:

How to handle this situation?

Honestly just give him a couple hundred in cash rather than a gift card that they might not use. Cash is always king, especially in these situations.

Posted 2/16/23 11:50 AM
 

lpg21
LIF Infant

Member since 9/21

340 total posts

Name:

Re: How to handle this situation?

I would give maybe $300 Amazon GC or Door Dash gift card so he can order what he wants for himself and his family- I am not a fan of giving GC to restaurants because I don't know what type of food they may like.

Posted 2/16/23 11:58 AM
 

oldtimerocknroll
LIF Adult

Member since 11/14

1656 total posts

Name:

Re: How to handle this situation?

If you know of a restaurant that he likes, I would get a $200 or $250 gift card. If not, I would go with Amazon...or Visa or Mastercard.

Posted 2/16/23 12:40 PM
 

Summer123
LIF Toddler

Member since 5/19

436 total posts

Name:

Re: How to handle this situation?

Posted by ali120206

I was thinking a giftcard to a nice restaurant as well.



This is what we have done a few times when friends have helped us out on small jobs

Posted 2/17/23 1:10 PM
 

hmm
Sweet

Member since 1/14

7978 total posts

Name:

How to handle this situation?

maybe just accept his help, respect his decline for money, no cash or GC. Give him a nice card, write something of meaning in it. If you offered to pay and he said no, your not taking advantage

Friends help each other. We should help each other.

If you really want, maybe leave him lunch

adding, IMO if you really want to give something, dont give a gift card, take him out for a meal.

I always say this, why is it so hard for people to accept kindness of others

Message edited 2/18/2023 9:17:28 AM.

Posted 2/18/23 9:13 AM
 

Sash
Peace

Member since 6/08

10312 total posts

Name:
fka LIW Smara

Re: How to handle this situation?

Posted by hmm

maybe just accept his help, respect his decline for money, no cash or GC. Give him a nice card, write something of meaning in it. If you offered to pay and he said no, your not taking advantage

Friends help each other. We should help each other.

If you really want, maybe leave him lunch

adding, IMO if you really want to give something, dont give a gift card, take him out for a meal.

I always say this, why is it so hard for people to accept kindness of others



I agree with dinner or take him out for a meal. My husband does side work for free for family and close friends. He would feel like a PoS taking money from family.

Posted 2/20/23 11:30 AM
 

hmm
Sweet

Member since 1/14

7978 total posts

Name:

Re: How to handle this situation?

Posted by Sash

Posted by hmm

maybe just accept his help, respect his decline for money, no cash or GC. Give him a nice card, write something of meaning in it. If you offered to pay and he said no, your not taking advantage

Friends help each other. We should help each other.

If you really want, maybe leave him lunch

adding, IMO if you really want to give something, dont give a gift card, take him out for a meal.

I always say this, why is it so hard for people to accept kindness of others



I agree with dinner or take him out for a meal. My husband does side work for free for family and close friends. He would feel like a PoS taking money from family.



wow, I'm usually in the minority lol

Posted 2/22/23 6:38 PM
 

FirstMate
My lil cowboy

Member since 10/10

7786 total posts

Name:

Re: How to handle this situation?

Posted by hmm

Posted by Sash

Posted by hmm

maybe just accept his help, respect his decline for money, no cash or GC. Give him a nice card, write something of meaning in it. If you offered to pay and he said no, your not taking advantage

Friends help each other. We should help each other.

If you really want, maybe leave him lunch

adding, IMO if you really want to give something, dont give a gift card, take him out for a meal.

I always say this, why is it so hard for people to accept kindness of others



I agree with dinner or take him out for a meal. My husband does side work for free for family and close friends. He would feel like a PoS taking money from family.



wow, I'm usually in the minority lol



I totally get what you are saying. To me, I just know that he is a super busy person so I know the sacrifice he is making time wise to help us. We decided we are going to take him out to dinner.

Posted 2/24/23 11:18 PM
 

hmm
Sweet

Member since 1/14

7978 total posts

Name:

Re: How to handle this situation?

Posted by FirstMate

Posted by hmm

Posted by Sash

Posted by hmm

maybe just accept his help, respect his decline for money, no cash or GC. Give him a nice card, write something of meaning in it. If you offered to pay and he said no, your not taking advantage

Friends help each other. We should help each other.

If you really want, maybe leave him lunch

adding, IMO if you really want to give something, dont give a gift card, take him out for a meal.

I always say this, why is it so hard for people to accept kindness of others



I agree with dinner or take him out for a meal. My husband does side work for free for family and close friends. He would feel like a PoS taking money from family.



wow, I'm usually in the minority lol



I totally get what you are saying. To me, I just know that he is a super busy person so I know the sacrifice he is making time wise to help us. We decided we are going to take him out to dinner.



dinner is a nice idea, more personal, Enjoy

Posted 2/25/23 8:16 AM
 
 

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