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Birthday parties and gift giving

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MrsM-6-7-08
<3

Member since 8/06

4249 total posts

Name:
Nicole

Birthday parties and gift giving

I don’t want this to be controversial but looking for opinions on what everyone usually does for a birthday party.

The Party is at a restaurant private room, with a fixed menu, passed appetizers, open bar. About 22 people invited

If it is someone you don’t normally exchange gifts with would you show up empty handed or with something very simple like a 10 dollar thing of flowers from a supermarket or bottle of wine?

Posted 7/28/21 10:44 AM
 
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chilltocam
LIF Adult

Member since 11/11

9141 total posts

Name:

Birthday parties and gift giving

I'd probably bring a nice bottle of wine (and I don't mean an $80 bottle, but something in the $20-$25 range)

ETA: Now that I think about it, I actually went to a party like this right before covid, for a good friend. The invitation said no gifts, but I did get her a sentimental type gift - something that I knew would be meaningful for her. It was't very expensive (less that $50), but I wouldn't show up empty handed.

Message edited 7/28/2021 12:49:55 PM.

Posted 7/28/21 10:51 AM
 

oldtimerocknroll
LIF Adult

Member since 11/14

1656 total posts

Name:

Re: Birthday parties and gift giving

If I'm going to a party for someone, I bring a gift, even we do not typically exchange gifts for non-party birthdays. I just bring a regular gift, nothing ridiculously expensive by any means.

Is it a milestone birthday?

Message edited 7/28/2021 11:11:35 AM.

Posted 7/28/21 11:07 AM
 

windyweather21
LIF Adult

Member since 3/21

6933 total posts

Name:

Re: Birthday parties and gift giving

Did they say no gifts?

We usually don't exchange gifts with my friends but for parties (which are usually only milestones) we give gifts.

Posted 7/28/21 11:11 AM
 

thewinterone
You make me happy

Member since 5/05

2473 total posts

Name:
cause you are gray.

Re: Birthday parties and gift giving

Definitely bringing something.

Posted 7/28/21 11:15 AM
 

Budjeg11
LIF Adult

Member since 4/11

2642 total posts

Name:

Birthday parties and gift giving

In this scenario I would most definitely bring a substantial gift in the $100- $150 for a couple. If I am invited to a gathering like this, I am obviously close to the person even if i dont normally exchange gifts with them (I dont exchange gifts with anyone regularly except immediate family so that wouldnt be a consideration). Even if I wasnt particularly close, someone is treating me to a fancy dinner and drinks on their birthday, they deserve a gift!

Message edited 7/28/2021 11:18:41 AM.

Posted 7/28/21 11:18 AM
 

LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!

Member since 5/05

19453 total posts

Name:
L

Re: Birthday parties and gift giving

I would bring a gift.

Posted 7/28/21 11:21 AM
 

nycbuslady
LIF Adult

Member since 9/15

1060 total posts

Name:

Birthday parties and gift giving

I would bring a gift. But, if it was my birthday, I wouldn't want any.

Posted 7/28/21 11:28 AM
 

NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..

Member since 11/09

54915 total posts

Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!

Re: Birthday parties and gift giving

I'd feel weird showing up without a decent gift to an event like that

Posted 7/28/21 11:33 AM
 

MrsM-6-7-08
<3

Member since 8/06

4249 total posts

Name:
Nicole

Re: Birthday parties and gift giving

Posted by windyweather21

Did they say no gifts?

We usually don't exchange gifts with my friends but for parties (which are usually only milestones) we give gifts.



It wasn’t a milestone bday but it was at a nice place. Around $120 a head for the dinner.
Just figured to throw a dinner party Because I feel like I only end up seeing family and friends for sad occasions lately.



Posted 7/28/21 12:12 PM
 

OhBoyorGirl
LIF Adult

Member since 2/12

1787 total posts

Name:

Re: Birthday parties and gift giving

I just went to a 40th like this. I brought a bottle of champagne.

Posted 7/28/21 12:13 PM
 

nycbuslady
LIF Adult

Member since 9/15

1060 total posts

Name:

Re: Birthday parties and gift giving

Posted by MrsM-6-7-08

Posted by windyweather21

Did they say no gifts?

We usually don't exchange gifts with my friends but for parties (which are usually only milestones) we give gifts.



It wasn’t a milestone bday but it was at a nice place. Around $120 a head for the dinner.
Just figured to throw a dinner party Because I feel like I only end up seeing family and friends for sad occasions lately.






Is this a party you're throwing (or threw) for yourself or a family member? Are you worried that people will feel obligated to bring a gift? If you don't want gifts, I would tell people that. I know that most people don't listen, but maybe some will.

I totally get where you're coming from about only seeing people at sad events. Sometimes you just want to have a party! It's funny because if you do something at home, people don't feel as obligated to bring a gift. But, as soon as it's at a restaurant, then things change.

Posted 7/28/21 12:30 PM
 

JME78
LIF Adult

Member since 11/09

3672 total posts

Name:

Birthday parties and gift giving

It depends who it is - if it was a closer friend/family member I would probably get a nice gift.
Just a regular friend - probably champagne/wine something like that.

Posted 7/28/21 1:21 PM
 

ali120206
2 Boys

Member since 7/06

17785 total posts

Name:

Birthday parties and gift giving

I would bring a gift. If there was no party, I wouldn't exchange gifts.

Posted 7/28/21 1:55 PM
 

LuckyStar
LIF Adult

Member since 7/14

7271 total posts

Name:

Birthday parties and gift giving

I would absolutely bring a gift.

Posted 7/28/21 2:17 PM
 

FirstMate
My lil cowboy

Member since 10/10

7786 total posts

Name:

Re: Birthday parties and gift giving

Is the host paying for the party or are you paying for yourself to be there?

If the host is covering the bill, I would absolutely bring a gift. If I am paying for my own plate, I would probably just bring a token gift.

Posted 7/28/21 2:23 PM
 

FirstMate
My lil cowboy

Member since 10/10

7786 total posts

Name:

Re: Birthday parties and gift giving

Posted by nycbuslady

Posted by MrsM-6-7-08

Posted by windyweather21

Did they say no gifts?

We usually don't exchange gifts with my friends but for parties (which are usually only milestones) we give gifts.



It wasn’t a milestone bday but it was at a nice place. Around $120 a head for the dinner.
Just figured to throw a dinner party Because I feel like I only end up seeing family and friends for sad occasions lately.






Is this a party you're throwing (or threw) for yourself or a family member? Are you worried that people will feel obligated to bring a gift? If you don't want gifts, I would tell people that. I know that most people don't listen, but maybe some will.

I totally get where you're coming from about only seeing people at sad events. Sometimes you just want to have a party! It's funny because if you do something at home, people don't feel as obligated to bring a gift. But, as soon as it's at a restaurant, then things change.




Every year, DH wants to have a birthday party - not for gifts, but just as an excuse to have people over. His bday usually falls over Memorial Day Weekend so we always just say we are having people over and don't mention the bday part of it because we don't want people bringing gifts. Then I will usually have a Carvel cake for him. People get mad at me for not saying it is his birthday in the invite because they feel bad for not bringing him something but that's our point! So we just say its a kick off to summer party with bday cake.

Posted 7/28/21 2:29 PM
 

soontobemommyof2
My boys...my everything <3

Member since 4/15

3634 total posts

Name:

Birthday parties and gift giving

I’d def show up with a gift regardless if I know or don’t know the person. I’m eating what they pay for so it’d be a nice gesture to not show up empty handed. Maybe not the flowers but a bottle of wine can work.

Posted 7/28/21 2:30 PM
 

MrsM-6-7-08
<3

Member since 8/06

4249 total posts

Name:
Nicole

Re: Birthday parties and gift giving

Yes we paid for the party, guests knew that we were paying. It was about $120 a person and about 22 people total. So not a huge party but a lot of food and open bar.

The next day a friend asked me what I got and when I told her some people didn’t really give anything or a small token type gift she was in total shock.

Posted 7/28/21 2:42 PM
 

RainyDay
LIF Adult

Member since 6/15

3984 total posts

Name:

Birthday parties and gift giving

I never expect people to bring gifts. It doesn't really matter how much we spend either or if it's at home or a restaurant.

Posted 7/28/21 2:46 PM
 

nycbuslady
LIF Adult

Member since 9/15

1060 total posts

Name:

Re: Birthday parties and gift giving

Posted by RainyDay

I never expect people to bring gifts. It doesn't really matter how much we spend either or if it's at home or a restaurant.



Me too! But, people do give them. I, for one, would rather not get a gift. Once you hit a certain age, you really have everything you need, or you just go to the store and buy what you want. I'd have a party every year for myself if I knew no one was going out of their way to get a gift. I want to see people and get together. That's the one thing I miss with the pandemic!

Posted 7/28/21 2:58 PM
 

BFNY516
LIF Adult

Member since 7/20

1187 total posts

Name:

Birthday parties and gift giving


I’m not a fan of birthday parties for adults unless maybe it’s a big milestone and it’s hosted for them. Being that it sounds like this wasn’t a milestone birthday, I can see where some people would pass on giving a gift.

Personally, I would always bring a gift to anything but I even bring a gift when going over for a bbq.

Since it sounds like you mainly wanted to throw something fun for everyone and it happened to align with a birthday,
I wouldn’t be annoyed at not getting a few gifts and I’d hope you all had fun.

Message edited 7/28/2021 3:09:59 PM.

Posted 7/28/21 3:08 PM
 

lululu
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

9507 total posts

Name:

Re: Birthday parties and gift giving

I would have definitely brought a gift and it would be something nice. Probably a gift card to a spa or restaurant.

Posted 7/28/21 3:11 PM
 

PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken

Member since 6/11

9145 total posts

Name:
Phyllis

Re: Birthday parties and gift giving

Posted by MrsM-6-7-08

Yes we paid for the party, guests knew that we were paying. It was about $120 a person and about 22 people total. So not a huge party but a lot of food and open bar.

The next day a friend asked me what I got and when I told her some people didn’t really give anything or a small token type gift she was in total shock.





I’m shocked people showed up with hardly anything.

The avg. gift for this type of event for us would be a $100 gift card and a bottle of wine

Posted 7/28/21 4:55 PM
 

windyweather21
LIF Adult

Member since 3/21

6933 total posts

Name:

Re: Birthday parties and gift giving

Posted by nycbuslady

Posted by RainyDay

I never expect people to bring gifts. It doesn't really matter how much we spend either or if it's at home or a restaurant.



Me too! But, people do give them. I, for one, would rather not get a gift. Once you hit a certain age, you really have everything you need, or you just go to the store and buy what you want. I'd have a party every year for myself if I knew no one was going out of their way to get a gift. I want to see people and get together. That's the one thing I miss with the pandemic!



I never like to have parties because you are basically asking for gifts. I did have one for my hubby for a milestone though as, when you get older it is nice to get together for the most part.
That is the one thing that I was happy to do was still celebrate milestones and special days with friends this past year as I still have not seen some family and coworkers yet.

Posted 7/28/21 5:03 PM
 
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