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PJ131313
LIF Infant
Member since 10/14 328 total posts
Name:
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Stuck in my career with small children at home
Hi,
I'm 33 and have dual degrees in Marketing and Graphic Design. Right now I'm the marketing director for a small company here on Long Island. I've been here off and on (don't ask) for 8ish years.
I'm just starting to feel like I made a huge career mistake by never working in the city. My current position is no longer fulfilling nor is it challenging and I need a change but I'm intimidated to apply to jobs in manhattan since I've been at this no-name privately owned company for so long.
The other issue is that I have a 2 year old DD and am 11 weeks pregnant with #2. I feel so stuck! Can anyone provide insight on any of this. I just don't know where to go from here. I'm not looking to spend 12 hours in Manhattan every day. I almost wish I could find something part-time for a big and reputable company in the city, if such a thing even exists.
I don't really know what kind of input I'm looking for, more than anything I just needed to vent.
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Posted 3/7/17 1:57 PM  |
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Paramount
Sweet!
Member since 7/12 4289 total posts
Name:
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Stuck in my career with small children at home
Are you a graphic designer? Do you have any legal experience?
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| Posted 3/7/17 2:02 PM |
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PJ131313
LIF Infant
Member since 10/14 328 total posts
Name:
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Re: Stuck in my career with small children at home
Posted by Paramount
Are you a graphic designer? Do you have any legal experience?
Yes I'm a graphic designer. No legal experience.
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| Posted 3/7/17 2:06 PM |
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lightblue
LIF Adult
Member since 1/17 2249 total posts
Name:
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Re: Stuck in my career with small children at home
I feel the same way you do. Been at my job for 8 years, don't get paid much (non profit) but feel stuck. I have two kids and one is special needs. I could make more in the city in another industry but would not be able to do the long days. I also would ideally like to work part time if the pay is right... Sorry I have no advice, but I hope you are able to find something that is more fulfilling!
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| Posted 3/7/17 2:10 PM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
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Re: Stuck in my career with small children at home
I'm basically the opposite of you (minus the graphic design aspect). I worked in Manhattan for about 10 years. It was only when I was on maternity leave with my second that I decided to look for something on LI. Now I'm a Marketing Director at a small, private company on LI. It took a lot of adjusting, but I love it. I do think I will eventually go back to Manhattan, but being minutes (not hours) away from my children's day care when one of them gets sick is so important.
I will say this - if you truly want to work in Manhattan, you should apply to new positions. I was working 3 blocks from Penn station so the commute itself didn't both me. They let me work flex time and I had a jet pack so I could work on my laptop during my commute if I needed to. It was only because my boss left while I was on maternity leave that I even considered leaving.
I would say you could also look for another job on LI if your current job isn't fulfilling, but Marketing jobs are few and far between.
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| Posted 3/7/17 2:15 PM |
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PJ131313
LIF Infant
Member since 10/14 328 total posts
Name:
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Re: Stuck in my career with small children at home
Posted by NYCGirl80
I'm basically the opposite of you (minus the graphic design aspect). I worked in Manhattan for about 10 years. It was only when I was on maternity leave with my second that I decided to look for something on LI. Now I'm a Marketing Director at a small, private company on LI. It took a lot of adjusting, but I love it. I do think I will eventually go back to Manhattan, but being minutes (not hours) away from my children's day care when one of them gets sick is so important.
I will say this - if you truly want to work in Manhattan, you should apply to new positions. I was working 3 blocks from Penn station so the commute itself didn't both me. They let me work flex time and I had a jet pack so I could work on my laptop during my commute if I needed to. It was only because my boss left while I was on maternity leave that I even considered leaving.
I would say you could also look for another job on LI if your current job isn't fulfilling, but Marketing jobs are few and far between.
The crazy thing is that I don't really *want* to work in Manhattan. I guess I just feel like a failure because I never have. I've never worked for a company anyone has heard of.
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| Posted 3/7/17 2:28 PM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: Stuck in my career with small children at home
I am also a graphic designer. I mainly worked for smaller companies most of my career and was Intimidated about going to the city. But I did do some interviewing there. I got each job I went for. Wound up going freelance instead. Just so you know, getting a job in the city is the same as anywhere else.
Have you considered going freelance while working at your current job? Depending on what your background is, you can start by just getting your name out there locally. FB, LIF. Also I used to work PT at the pennysaver to supplement while I built my home business. Honestly - it was pretty decent $ for 5hrs a day. If you have advertising experience, you can try them.
You can also just cold call local shops to see if they need menus, business cards...you can upcharge for printing, etc.
little ways to make extra $$
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| Posted 3/7/17 3:11 PM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: Stuck in my career with small children at home
Posted by Paramount
Are you a graphic designer? Do you have any legal experience?
Legal experience? In what way?
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| Posted 3/7/17 3:12 PM |
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PJ131313
LIF Infant
Member since 10/14 328 total posts
Name:
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Re: Stuck in my career with small children at home
Posted by PhyllisNJoe
I am also a graphic designer. I mainly worked for smaller companies most of my career and was Intimidated about going to the city. But I did do some interviewing there. I got each job I went for. Wound up going freelance instead. Just so you know, getting a job in the city is the same as anywhere else.
Have you considered going freelance while working at your current job? Depending on what your background is, you can start by just getting your name out there locally. FB, LIF. Also I used to work PT at the pennysaver to supplement while I built my home business. Honestly - it was pretty decent $ for 5hrs a day. If you have advertising experience, you can try them.
You can also just cold call local shops to see if they need menus, business cards...you can upcharge for printing, etc.
little ways to make extra $$
I don't really have time to freelance or cold call on top of working full time. And it's not so much about the money.
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| Posted 3/7/17 3:30 PM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: Stuck in my career with small children at home
Posted by PJ131313
Posted by PhyllisNJoe
I am also a graphic designer. I mainly worked for smaller companies most of my career and was Intimidated about going to the city. But I did do some interviewing there. I got each job I went for. Wound up going freelance instead. Just so you know, getting a job in the city is the same as anywhere else.
Have you considered going freelance while working at your current job? Depending on what your background is, you can start by just getting your name out there locally. FB, LIF. Also I used to work PT at the pennysaver to supplement while I built my home business. Honestly - it was pretty decent $ for 5hrs a day. If you have advertising experience, you can try them.
You can also just cold call local shops to see if they need menus, business cards...you can upcharge for printing, etc.
little ways to make extra $$
I don't really have time to freelance or cold call on top of working full time. And it's not so much about the money.
I didn't mean you need extra money. What I meant was if you wanted to leave your current job, you could PT somewhere and freelance the rest - so you won't be losing money leaving a FT job.
When I started my freelance, I was working FT. Then I went somewhere PT so I could concentrate on my home business. It took about 5 years before my home business had me making enough money to so I could exclusively work from home.
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| Posted 3/7/17 3:34 PM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: Stuck in my career with small children at home
I am in a different field than you but I could have written something very similar. I have huge regrets about not taking job opportunities in NYC when I was younger and child free. I feel like I have not and will not reach my own professional goals because I didn't make the necessary name for myself in the bigger leagues when I was younger and had the stamina to withstand the commute and very long hours. Now, at this point in my life, I have 3 small kids and the thought of commuting 3 hours a day on top of long hours is just not conducive to my life. While I have no advice to offer you I can say that I understand.
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| Posted 3/7/17 3:43 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: Stuck in my career with small children at home
Posted by PJ131313
Posted by NYCGirl80
I'm basically the opposite of you (minus the graphic design aspect). I worked in Manhattan for about 10 years. It was only when I was on maternity leave with my second that I decided to look for something on LI. Now I'm a Marketing Director at a small, private company on LI. It took a lot of adjusting, but I love it. I do think I will eventually go back to Manhattan, but being minutes (not hours) away from my children's day care when one of them gets sick is so important.
I will say this - if you truly want to work in Manhattan, you should apply to new positions. I was working 3 blocks from Penn station so the commute itself didn't both me. They let me work flex time and I had a jet pack so I could work on my laptop during my commute if I needed to. It was only because my boss left while I was on maternity leave that I even considered leaving.
I would say you could also look for another job on LI if your current job isn't fulfilling, but Marketing jobs are few and far between.
The crazy thing is that I don't really *want* to work in Manhattan. I guess I just feel like a failure because I never have. I've never worked for a company anyone has heard of.
If you don;t "want" to work in the city then don;t even attempt it. I have been in the city for about 10 years now and at my current job for 7. I like my job and do not mind being in the city. If I didn't want to work in the city it would be hard for me to get on that train everyday. I have had co-workers who thought they would learn to be ok with working in the city and they never stay very long.
There are plenty of decent sized companies on LI now....maybe you just need a change of company.
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| Posted 3/7/17 4:20 PM |
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HeyJude
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/07 820 total posts
Name:
p
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Re: Stuck in my career with small children at home
I am kind of in the opposite situation, in a different field, but also feel stuck. I am trying to get out of the city. Looking at jobs on LI I am going to have to take a large paycut, but I am tired of being so far from my kids and have been unhappy for too many months now at my job . Until something becomes a clear path for you try to focus on the positives, like being close to your babies, a paycheck and congratulations!
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| Posted 3/7/17 5:56 PM |
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Bebelove
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/12 742 total posts
Name:
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Re: Stuck in my career with small children at home
33 is young! Have your baby, keep working and in a few years you could always look in the city. I took a job close to home since I have small children. The pay on LI tends to be quite a bit less than a NYC salary.
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| Posted 3/7/17 7:43 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
Name:
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Re: Stuck in my career with small children at home
Posted by alli3131
Posted by PJ131313
Posted by NYCGirl80
I'm basically the opposite of you (minus the graphic design aspect). I worked in Manhattan for about 10 years. It was only when I was on maternity leave with my second that I decided to look for something on LI. Now I'm a Marketing Director at a small, private company on LI. It took a lot of adjusting, but I love it. I do think I will eventually go back to Manhattan, but being minutes (not hours) away from my children's day care when one of them gets sick is so important.
I will say this - if you truly want to work in Manhattan, you should apply to new positions. I was working 3 blocks from Penn station so the commute itself didn't both me. They let me work flex time and I had a jet pack so I could work on my laptop during my commute if I needed to. It was only because my boss left while I was on maternity leave that I even considered leaving.
I would say you could also look for another job on LI if your current job isn't fulfilling, but Marketing jobs are few and far between.
The crazy thing is that I don't really *want* to work in Manhattan. I guess I just feel like a failure because I never have. I've never worked for a company anyone has heard of.
If you don;t "want" to work in the city then don;t even attempt it. I have been in the city for about 10 years now and at my current job for 7. I like my job and do not mind being in the city. If I didn't want to work in the city it would be hard for me to get on that train everyday. I have had co-workers who thought they would learn to be ok with working in the city and they never stay very long.
There are plenty of decent sized companies on LI now....maybe you just need a change of company.
This, because you may very well spend 12 hours out of the house depending on your commute.
I'm not familiar with the graphic design industry, but I would think that the bigger, better known companies are all in the city. But what is your end game? Do you plan to eventually have a high level position when your kids are older? If yes, then you would need to figure out a way to get your butt into the city. If not, then honestly? Why bother?
I was the opposite- I worked in the city for years and recently got a job on LI. I didn't take a pay cut but I went from a super prestigious environment to mediocre at best. I'm closer to home, don't have to take the LIRR and it's a much more relaxed environment.
I'm worried that I committed career suicide because I fully plan on returning to the city. As sh!tty as the commute was I was challenged and surrounded by ambitious people. Now I work with people who watch cat videos all day and tell me I made the right career move because I'm "a mom now" (insulted is an understatement)
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| Posted 3/7/17 8:13 PM |
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drpepper318
MIR MIR MIR!
Member since 6/07 8274 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Stuck in my career with small children at home
I can understand that "stuck" feeling But I don't think you should feel like a failure for never working in Manhattan.. it's overrated. A bigger paycheck is nice but a shorter commute is nice too.
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| Posted 3/7/17 8:48 PM |
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VickiC
Rocking the party
Member since 5/05 4937 total posts
Name:
Vicki
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Stuck in my career with small children at home
I'm a graphic designer too and I used to work for an architectural firm in NYC in their marketing department until recently. I went from working there FT, to PT and then just became a SAHM when I had my daughter 9 months ago. I freelance now as well and I have a steady stream of customers.
Have you looked at other industries to use your talents if you don't like the one you're in now? Truthfully, working in NYC is great, but it gets tiresome after a while; the LIRR alone is a nightmare! When I was working PT, it was from home and I went into the city a few times a month. I realized that I loved being on LI and schlepping into the city was horrendous!
Getting a marketing job depends on what kind of marketing, so I wouldn't say they are few and far between. There are tons of architectural firms always looking for people in their marketing departments, whether here on LI or in NYC.
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| Posted 3/8/17 1:14 PM |
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Paramount
Sweet!
Member since 7/12 4289 total posts
Name:
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Re: Stuck in my career with small children at home
Posted by PhyllisNJoe
Posted by Paramount
Are you a graphic designer? Do you have any legal experience?
Legal experience? In what way?
Doing legal graphics. Its a niche market but can very lucrative. I know people who do this (me sorta included) and you can work for a bunch of companies and make very good money.
But doing graphics for litigation is something you just cant do. You need to know HOW to do them and how to tell the story. being a graphic artist is critical, obviously. But if you can get into a company like FTI or Legalgraphix and have them teach you its a great job to have and you don't have to be on site.
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| Posted 3/8/17 1:24 PM |
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TwinDani
We are complete <3
Member since 3/11 1750 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Stuck in my career with small children at home
I am in the opposite end of things. I work in the city at a big company and hate the commute. I work in Port Jefferson and commute to the city every day and it is the worst. The train is awful, always late and I am always missing events for the kids. I was out on maternity leave came back and felt like I was being punished for taking time off. I decided a week into being back this was not for me any more. I recently excepted a new position very local to my house and very flexible. I was always hesitant because I have such job stability but in the end I am not happy at this position. You have to do what is right for you. You never want to have any regrets. If you feel you need to do this then do it.
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| Posted 3/8/17 1:30 PM |
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PJ131313
LIF Infant
Member since 10/14 328 total posts
Name:
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Re: Stuck in my career with small children at home
Posted by TwinDani
I am in the opposite end of things. I work in the city at a big company and hate the commute. I work in Port Jefferson and commute to the city every day and it is the worst. The train is awful, always late and I am always missing events for the kids. I was out on maternity leave came back and felt like I was being punished for taking time off. I decided a week into being back this was not for me any more. I recently excepted a new position very local to my house and very flexible. I was always hesitant because I have such job stability but in the end I am not happy at this position. You have to do what is right for you. You never want to have any regrets. If you feel you need to do this then do it.
Thanks for adding. I live in the Port Jeff area as well. The commute would be murder.
Hearing these stories of women fleeing the city makes me feel better. I am home by 5:15 every night and am there to have dinner with my daughter and put her to bed. I don't think I'd be willing to sacrifice that.
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| Posted 3/8/17 1:44 PM |
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TwinDani
We are complete <3
Member since 3/11 1750 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Stuck in my career with small children at home
Posted by PJ131313
Posted by TwinDani
I am in the opposite end of things. I work in the city at a big company and hate the commute. I work in Port Jefferson and commute to the city every day and it is the worst. The train is awful, always late and I am always missing events for the kids. I was out on maternity leave came back and felt like I was being punished for taking time off. I decided a week into being back this was not for me any more. I recently excepted a new position very local to my house and very flexible. I was always hesitant because I have such job stability but in the end I am not happy at this position. You have to do what is right for you. You never want to have any regrets. If you feel you need to do this then do it.
Thanks for adding. I live in the Port Jeff area as well. The commute would be murder.
Hearing these stories of women fleeing the city makes me feel better. I am home by 5:15 every night and am there to have dinner with my daughter and put her to bed. I don't think I'd be willing to sacrifice that.
I leave my house now at 5:55 AM I am not home until 6:00 PM. My hours are 7:45 AM to 3:45 AM but I know most jobs are not that flexible with time, plus I am right by Penn station so its easy to get the train. The train ride is awful, people are rude, loud and obnoxious every day. I have been doing this for 9 years and I have had enough. I will now be working 9-5 and home in less then ten minutes. Right now I do not even see my children in the morning.
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| Posted 3/8/17 2:26 PM |
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Re: Stuck in my career with small children at home
Posted by HeyJude
I am kind of in the opposite situation, in a different field, but also feel stuck. I am trying to get out of the city. Looking at jobs on LI I am going to have to take a large paycut, but I am tired of being so far from my kids and have been unhappy for too many months now at my job . Until something becomes a clear path for you try to focus on the positives, like being close to your babies, a paycheck and congratulations!
This is me too.
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| Posted 3/8/17 8:50 PM |
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