Another what to give question for upstate wedding

I'm really at a loss here. We have a wedding up near Syracuse. It's dh, myself, and our two kids attending. Do I do cash and if so about how much? Should I buy a gift off the registry since that's more traditional around there and if so what to spend? If it matters in your opinion the couple attended my wedding and gave a very inexpensive not off the registry gift. I was just happy they came and knew that traveling down here cost enough already. I don't want to spend too much and look outrageous but it's also a lot of us.

Another what to give question for upstate wedding

Doesn't matter where the location is. You give what you normally give. Here or there doesn't matter. It's not destination like cancun.

Re: Another what to give question for upstate wedding

how old are your kids

Re: Another what to give question for upstate wedding

Yes I'd give what I would normally give for any wedding here on LI.
That amount would vary based on how close I was with the couple, was it family, close friend, acquaintance, and what I could afford.

Another what to give question for upstate wedding

I now live upstate. I give more or less the same I'd give to my friends downstate. For 2 adults with 2 young kids - $300-400, depending on the relationship.

Another what to give question for upstate wedding

I would give the same as down here.

Re: Another what to give question for upstate wedding

Re: Another what to give question for upstate wedding

I would give what I would give here. I've been to a handful of weddings out-of-state in recent years, and that is what I did.

Re: Another what to give question for upstate wedding

eh id give 300 unless they were close friends then i would give what I normally would

Another what to give question for upstate wedding

Glad I asked bc these are higher than I had in mind tbh. I feel like when someone spends $20 on your wedding gift it's kind of impossible not to let that influence you. He's a dear friend and he didn't give that to be a jerk or anything, it was a gag gift and I was fine with that. I just feel awkward giving $300+ now for his wedding. I feel like with an upstate wedding and the added expenses of traveling I can get away with giving less and ease that awkward feeling. Does that make sense or am I wrong for thinking that way? Dh is no help at all.

Re: Another what to give question for upstate wedding

Re: Another what to give question for upstate wedding

Re: Another what to give question for upstate wedding

I would probably give what you normally give if you can afford it. An upstate wedding may not be as cheap as you think. My brother is getting married in Rochester this upcoming summer, and he and his fiancee are spending probably as much as a LI wedding. It seems to me that everything is broken down as a per person price there vs. a package price like on LI (for example- entree is $37 pp, passed hors d'oeuvres $4 pp, etc.)

Another what to give question for upstate wedding

I do think it's a bit petty for lack of a better word to not give an appropriate gift because he didn't give you on - not that it makes you a bad person - just saying if otherwise he is a dear friend and you value his friendship, who cares what the gift is. Maybe he didn't have a lot of funds when you got married, you never know someone else's circumstances. But I've also never subscribed to the tit for tat wedding gift thing, or valuing my gift on outside factors like location, etc...I just think if you're in the position to give an appropriate gift, why wouldn't you?

Re: Another what to give question for upstate wedding

Re: Another what to give question for upstate wedding

Re: Another what to give question for upstate wedding

$200 is fine.

Another what to give question for upstate wedding

I'm sure I'll get flamed but after hearing what he gave you guys I would probably do either $150 or a $50 gift off their registry.

Another what to give question for upstate wedding

I would give either $200 or something in the $100 range off their registry.

Another what to give question for upstate wedding

My family that lives in Rochester always purchase gifts from the registry, and they think giving money is tacky (they're judgy, they suck, them not me) so with that in mind I'd purchase something off the registry and not think twice about it.

Another what to give question for upstate wedding

I'd give a gift off the registry in the situation you described. If not registered my go to is the Tiffany Honeycomb plate. It's about $125-$150 or a set of Tiffany wine glasses and a bottle of wine.

Re: Another what to give question for upstate wedding

I would just give cash and probably give around $200 or so maybe $250 since kids are coming this is my standard nothing to do with location. For wedding when it ms just me and my DH I give $150-200 I never bring my kids too wedding but if it did I might up a little but not much

Another what to give question for upstate wedding

Thanks for all the opinions. It's definitely helped me sort out my thoughts.

So I totally forgot that they put the registry info on the invite and included a charity as well (see he really is a good person lol) so I was thinking maybe a check for $100 and a donation for another $100. Will a charity usually give you something to print out if you donate in someone else's name?

Another what to give question for upstate wedding

How old was he when you got married? We got married "young -23/24" so my friend's idea of a wedding gift was different then than it is now. I would not hold that against them if they got married now when we're in our mid-30s.

I live outside Albany now and none of my upstate friends would consider a cash gift tacky. Weddings here can be just as expensive as on LI.

Another what to give question for upstate wedding

you can give cash, but upstate and off of Long island most people buy off the reg list