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Mom shames a bully on Facebook — and it’s her own son
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HomeIsWithU
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Jenn
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Re: Mom shames a bully on Facebook — and it’s her own son
Posted by Hofstra26
First, can we PLEASE stop throwing the word "bullying" around. This mom did NOT "bully" her son, she taught him a lesson. She taught him that actions have consequences. She taught him to respect how that little girl must have felt by putting him in a situation that would make him feel equally uncomfortable. It's called tough parenting and if more parents practiced it instead of coddling their kids and letting them run around doing whatever the h-e-l-l they want without ever being held accountable we'd have a much kinder, more considerate, and less self absorbed generation of kids.
Hopefully next time this kid will think twice before he decides to push someone else around. Good for this mom for taking some action, nipping the problem in the bud, and holding her son responsible. I don't care if your kid is 4, 12, or 18................you should ALWAYS be on them to act better, treat people nicer, and take responsibility for their actions, ESPECIALLY when their actions hurt someone else.
That anyone could think what this mom did is wrong is actually quite surprising to me. It's no different than those viral FB posts that go around where parents publicly ground their kids or make them apologize on their own FB page for all their friends to see............and we applaud those parents. Yet this mom is being criticized for disciplining and being proactive about what her son did? That's just ridiculous. I have NO problem with what she did, good on her for handling the situation!
 Perfectly said.
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Posted 3/9/16 8:42 AM  |
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mommyagain3
LIF Infant
Member since 6/15 144 total posts
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Re: Mom shames a bully on Facebook — and it’s her own son
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by mommyagain3
Posted by StaceyWill
Posted by beachgirl
Publicly shaming her son is going to help him how? I don't get it. Did she want to prove to her FB friends that she was a good parent by publicly humiliating her son? At an age like 12 when kids typically start withdrawing from their parents anyway this is a very dangerous thing to do.
Was the kid wrong? Hell yes.
Should he apologize profusely to this child and her family? Yes
Should he receive a harsh punishment from his mom? Yes.
Should his mom be blasting this all over FB? Absolutely not.
People are so stupid when it comes to FB.
I agree...She is just, in turn, bullying her son using social media. Apple didn't fall far from the tree.
First, can we PLEASE stop throwing the word "bullying" around. This mom did NOT "bully" her son, she taught him a lesson. She taught him that actions have consequences. She taught him to respect how that little girl must have felt by putting him in a situation that would make him feel equally uncomfortable. It's called tough parenting and if more parents practiced it instead of coddling their kids and letting them run around doing whatever the h-e-l-l they want without ever being held accountable we'd have a much kinder, more considerate, and less self absorbed generation of kids.
Hopefully next time this kid will think twice before he decides to push someone else around. Good for this mom for taking some action, nipping the problem in the bud, and holding her son responsible. I don't care if your kid is 4, 12, or 18................you should ALWAYS be on them to act better, treat people nicer, and take responsibility for their actions, ESPECIALLY when their actions hurt someone else.
That anyone could think what this mom did is wrong is actually quite surprising to me. It's no different than those viral FB posts that go around where parents publicly ground their kids or make them apologize on their own FB page for all their friends to see............and we applaud those parents. Yet this mom is being criticized for disciplining and being proactive about what her son did? That's just ridiculous. I have NO problem with what she did, good on her for handling the situation!
Yes, I think it is bullying.
I find using social media as a ways of parenting a child, disturbing. Her child is 12 and she tagged him for all to see indefinitely. His mind and thought process is still that of a child and this is something that can follow him around until adulthood.
Do I think what her son did was wrong - ABSOLUTELY.
Do I think his actions should have consequences...ABSOLUTELY
Do I think this is proactive parenting - no..proactive would be to tackle the situation prior to it happening.
I don't think anything parenting that goes viral is appropriate. No child should have their punishment boosted on the internet. I also don't think public shaming provides any positive behavior modification and would argue that a parent using public shaming and passive aggressive means of parenting is encouraging a child to become a bully. I also don't think tagging your child in a post on social media is much of a consequence that will teach a child anything. A child of 12 shouldn't even be on social media, IMO.
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| Posted 3/9/16 10:30 AM |
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StaceyWill
It's a girl!!!
Member since 6/10 21539 total posts
Name:
Stacey
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Re: Mom shames a bully on Facebook — and it’s her own son
Posted by mommyagain3
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by mommyagain3
Posted by StaceyWill
Posted by beachgirl
Publicly shaming her son is going to help him how? I don't get it. Did she want to prove to her FB friends that she was a good parent by publicly humiliating her son? At an age like 12 when kids typically start withdrawing from their parents anyway this is a very dangerous thing to do.
Was the kid wrong? Hell yes.
Should he apologize profusely to this child and her family? Yes
Should he receive a harsh punishment from his mom? Yes.
Should his mom be blasting this all over FB? Absolutely not.
People are so stupid when it comes to FB.
I agree...She is just, in turn, bullying her son using social media. Apple didn't fall far from the tree.
First, can we PLEASE stop throwing the word "bullying" around. This mom did NOT "bully" her son, she taught him a lesson. She taught him that actions have consequences. She taught him to respect how that little girl must have felt by putting him in a situation that would make him feel equally uncomfortable. It's called tough parenting and if more parents practiced it instead of coddling their kids and letting them run around doing whatever the h-e-l-l they want without ever being held accountable we'd have a much kinder, more considerate, and less self absorbed generation of kids.
Hopefully next time this kid will think twice before he decides to push someone else around. Good for this mom for taking some action, nipping the problem in the bud, and holding her son responsible. I don't care if your kid is 4, 12, or 18................you should ALWAYS be on them to act better, treat people nicer, and take responsibility for their actions, ESPECIALLY when their actions hurt someone else.
That anyone could think what this mom did is wrong is actually quite surprising to me. It's no different than those viral FB posts that go around where parents publicly ground their kids or make them apologize on their own FB page for all their friends to see............and we applaud those parents. Yet this mom is being criticized for disciplining and being proactive about what her son did? That's just ridiculous. I have NO problem with what she did, good on her for handling the situation!
Yes, I think it is bullying.
I find using social media as a ways of parenting a child, disturbing. Her child is 12 and she tagged him for all to see indefinitely. His mind and thought process is still that of a child and this is something that can follow him around until adulthood.
Do I think what her son did was wrong - ABSOLUTELY.
Do I think his actions should have consequences...ABSOLUTELY
Do I think this is proactive parenting - no..proactive would be to tackle the situation prior to it happening.
I don't think anything parenting that goes viral is appropriate. No child should have their punishment boosted on the internet. I also don't think public shaming provides any positive behavior modification and would argue that a parent using public shaming and passive aggressive means of parenting is encouraging a child to become a bully. I also don't think tagging your child in a post on social media is much of a consequence that will teach a child anything. A child of 12 shouldn't even be on social media, IMO.
ITA with this! She should've spoken directly to her son, not through FB. That is ridiculous.
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| Posted 3/9/16 10:40 AM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: Mom shames a bully on Facebook — and it’s her own son
Posted by StaceyWill
Posted by mommyagain3
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by mommyagain3
Posted by StaceyWill
Posted by beachgirl
Publicly shaming her son is going to help him how? I don't get it. Did she want to prove to her FB friends that she was a good parent by publicly humiliating her son? At an age like 12 when kids typically start withdrawing from their parents anyway this is a very dangerous thing to do.
Was the kid wrong? Hell yes.
Should he apologize profusely to this child and her family? Yes
Should he receive a harsh punishment from his mom? Yes.
Should his mom be blasting this all over FB? Absolutely not.
People are so stupid when it comes to FB.
I agree...She is just, in turn, bullying her son using social media. Apple didn't fall far from the tree.
First, can we PLEASE stop throwing the word "bullying" around. This mom did NOT "bully" her son, she taught him a lesson. She taught him that actions have consequences. She taught him to respect how that little girl must have felt by putting him in a situation that would make him feel equally uncomfortable. It's called tough parenting and if more parents practiced it instead of coddling their kids and letting them run around doing whatever the h-e-l-l they want without ever being held accountable we'd have a much kinder, more considerate, and less self absorbed generation of kids.
Hopefully next time this kid will think twice before he decides to push someone else around. Good for this mom for taking some action, nipping the problem in the bud, and holding her son responsible. I don't care if your kid is 4, 12, or 18................you should ALWAYS be on them to act better, treat people nicer, and take responsibility for their actions, ESPECIALLY when their actions hurt someone else.
That anyone could think what this mom did is wrong is actually quite surprising to me. It's no different than those viral FB posts that go around where parents publicly ground their kids or make them apologize on their own FB page for all their friends to see............and we applaud those parents. Yet this mom is being criticized for disciplining and being proactive about what her son did? That's just ridiculous. I have NO problem with what she did, good on her for handling the situation!
Yes, I think it is bullying.
I find using social media as a ways of parenting a child, disturbing. Her child is 12 and she tagged him for all to see indefinitely. His mind and thought process is still that of a child and this is something that can follow him around until adulthood.
Do I think what her son did was wrong - ABSOLUTELY.
Do I think his actions should have consequences...ABSOLUTELY
Do I think this is proactive parenting - no..proactive would be to tackle the situation prior to it happening.
I don't think anything parenting that goes viral is appropriate. No child should have their punishment boosted on the internet. I also don't think public shaming provides any positive behavior modification and would argue that a parent using public shaming and passive aggressive means of parenting is encouraging a child to become a bully. I also don't think tagging your child in a post on social media is much of a consequence that will teach a child anything. A child of 12 shouldn't even be on social media, IMO.
ITA with this! She should've spoken directly to her son, not through FB. That is ridiculous.
maybe she did. These days we sometimes need to get their attention in others ways. Would FB be my first thought but if me talking to him did not get through to him I would definitely take to other means.
I also do not question others parenting choices. You want to call your kid out on FB go for it. We have zero clue what is goign on there so how can we judge.
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| Posted 3/9/16 11:13 AM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: Mom shames a bully on Facebook — and it’s her own son
Posted by RainyDay
Now the son knows how it feels to be humiliated. Good for her.
This is how I see.
I honestly think some kids (even adults) don't truly understand their actions till they are put in the shoes of the people they are picking on.
Maybe now that he knows, he will think twice before making someone feel humiliated again.
Not saying I would head to FB like she did. But I'm not going to judge her for how she handled it. At least she's handling.
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| Posted 3/9/16 11:18 AM |
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mommyagain3
LIF Infant
Member since 6/15 144 total posts
Name:
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Re: Mom shames a bully on Facebook — and it’s her own son
Posted by MsSissy
Posted by RainyDay
Now the son knows how it feels to be humiliated. Good for her.
This is how I see.
I honestly think some kids (even adults) don't truly understand their actions till they are put in the shoes of the people they are picking on.
Maybe now that he knows, he will think twice before making someone feel humiliated again.
Not saying I would head to FB like she did. But I'm not going to judge her for how she handled it. At least she's handling.
Maybe for an adult but not for a child. Their brains don't work the same way as adults. They organize things differently then adults. A child's brain operates in proximity to the other regions of the brain as opposed to an adults brain which operates via links and long distance regions can be affected at the same time...this process develops over age and time. That's why kids run out in the street without looking or run out the door to play without a coat on only to turn around when they are freezing. So children do not think like adults nor do they reason like adults.
I think there were much better ways to address this with the child. I don't think public shaming is going to make this child a better person in any way, shape or form.
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| Posted 3/9/16 11:51 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Mom shames a bully on Facebook — and it’s her own son
Posted by alli3131
Posted by StaceyWill
Posted by mommyagain3
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by mommyagain3
Posted by StaceyWill
Posted by beachgirl
Publicly shaming her son is going to help him how? I don't get it. Did she want to prove to her FB friends that she was a good parent by publicly humiliating her son? At an age like 12 when kids typically start withdrawing from their parents anyway this is a very dangerous thing to do.
Was the kid wrong? Hell yes.
Should he apologize profusely to this child and her family? Yes
Should he receive a harsh punishment from his mom? Yes.
Should his mom be blasting this all over FB? Absolutely not.
People are so stupid when it comes to FB.
I agree...She is just, in turn, bullying her son using social media. Apple didn't fall far from the tree.
First, can we PLEASE stop throwing the word "bullying" around. This mom did NOT "bully" her son, she taught him a lesson. She taught him that actions have consequences. She taught him to respect how that little girl must have felt by putting him in a situation that would make him feel equally uncomfortable. It's called tough parenting and if more parents practiced it instead of coddling their kids and letting them run around doing whatever the h-e-l-l they want without ever being held accountable we'd have a much kinder, more considerate, and less self absorbed generation of kids.
Hopefully next time this kid will think twice before he decides to push someone else around. Good for this mom for taking some action, nipping the problem in the bud, and holding her son responsible. I don't care if your kid is 4, 12, or 18................you should ALWAYS be on them to act better, treat people nicer, and take responsibility for their actions, ESPECIALLY when their actions hurt someone else.
That anyone could think what this mom did is wrong is actually quite surprising to me. It's no different than those viral FB posts that go around where parents publicly ground their kids or make them apologize on their own FB page for all their friends to see............and we applaud those parents. Yet this mom is being criticized for disciplining and being proactive about what her son did? That's just ridiculous. I have NO problem with what she did, good on her for handling the situation!
Yes, I think it is bullying.
I find using social media as a ways of parenting a child, disturbing. Her child is 12 and she tagged him for all to see indefinitely. His mind and thought process is still that of a child and this is something that can follow him around until adulthood.
Do I think what her son did was wrong - ABSOLUTELY.
Do I think his actions should have consequences...ABSOLUTELY
Do I think this is proactive parenting - no..proactive would be to tackle the situation prior to it happening.
I don't think anything parenting that goes viral is appropriate. No child should have their punishment boosted on the internet. I also don't think public shaming provides any positive behavior modification and would argue that a parent using public shaming and passive aggressive means of parenting is encouraging a child to become a bully. I also don't think tagging your child in a post on social media is much of a consequence that will teach a child anything. A child of 12 shouldn't even be on social media, IMO.
ITA with this! She should've spoken directly to her son, not through FB. That is ridiculous.
maybe she did. These days we sometimes need to get their attention in others ways. Would FB be my first thought but if me talking to him did not get through to him I would definitely take to other means.
I also do not question others parenting choices. You want to call your kid out on FB go for it. We have zero clue what is goign on there so how can we judge.
Exactly!!!!!!
I doubt that all she did was tag her kid on FB and leave it that. I would bet money she handled it in the home as well but you know what???......................every kid on FB thinks they are "cool" and "untouchable". So in this case, hit 'em where it hurts. Get them where it will have the MOST impact. Sometimes the BEST way to learn a lesson is to have firsthand experience of the shame you put on someone else. So he got embarrassed on FB, guess what???.............he'll get over it. In the grand scheme of things it's hardly the worst thing a parent could do. But ultimately, if he knows his mom means business you better believe he'll think twice the next time he sets out to humiliate someone else.
And food for thought...............don't assume this is some sweet, harmless 12 yr old. Maybe he is but we don't know that for sure. He might have a pattern of mean behavior so perhaps the mom's thinking was putting it on FB was a way to make a bigger impact with him. We don't know what goes on behind closed doors, she didn't do any permanent damage to her son, and like any GOOD parent...........she at least handled the situation which is more than I can say for some of the lazy, disinterested parents out that who let their kids run wild. Just sayin.
Message edited 3/9/2016 12:11:36 PM.
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| Posted 3/9/16 12:10 PM |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
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Re: Mom shames a bully on Facebook — and it’s her own son
Posted by mommyagain3
Posted by MsSissy
Posted by RainyDay
Now the son knows how it feels to be humiliated. Good for her.
This is how I see.
I honestly think some kids (even adults) don't truly understand their actions till they are put in the shoes of the people they are picking on.
Maybe now that he knows, he will think twice before making someone feel humiliated again.
Not saying I would head to FB like she did. But I'm not going to judge her for how she handled it. At least she's handling.
Maybe for an adult but not for a child. Their brains don't work the same way as adults. They organize things differently then adults. A child's brain operates in proximity to the other regions of the brain as opposed to an adults brain which operates via links and long distance regions can be affected at the same time...this process develops over age and time. That's why kids run out in the street without looking or run out the door to play without a coat on only to turn around when they are freezing. So children do not think like adults nor do they reason like adults.
I think there were much better ways to address this with the child. I don't think public shaming is going to make this child a better person in any way, shape or form.
I think a 12 year old is capable of understanding why bullying is wrong. If he were a 6 year old I'd agree with you. And I understand your point, but I think when you make this argument about an almost teenager you (the collective you) don't give him nearly enough credit.
This is JMO but I'm going to give the mom the benefit of the doubt and assume that this act was part of a larger process. She knows her kid. I want to assume that she didn't just lash out and try to humiliate him on FB without any warning. Just like none of us would do something like that.
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| Posted 3/9/16 12:13 PM |
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mommyagain3
LIF Infant
Member since 6/15 144 total posts
Name:
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Re: Mom shames a bully on Facebook — and it’s her own son
She was already handling it by making him use his money to buy her new shoes and flowers and make him go to the parents' home to apologize and possibly do chores. I don't see why tagging him on social media was needed. It was done to humiliate him. Kids commit suicide weekly over social media humiliation. If she wants to make an impression on his friends...make him go to each house and apologize for his behavior in front of that friend and the parent. That would have an impact.
What he did was wrong and I don't condone that at all. But how does mom stooping to public humiliation help at all? Does humiliation build someone's character or help develop empathy? No, it does just the opposite. Mom also must have had second thoughts about tagging her son since she removed the tag once it went viral.
Message edited 3/9/2016 12:43:43 PM.
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| Posted 3/9/16 12:42 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Mom shames a bully on Facebook — and it’s her own son
Posted by mommyagain3
She was already handling it by making him use his money to buy her new shoes and flowers and make him go to the parents' home to apologize and possibly do chores. I don't see why tagging him on social media was needed. It was done to humiliate him. Kids commit suicide weekly over social media humiliation. If she wants to make an impression on his friends...make him go to each house and apologize for his behavior in front of that friend and the parent. That would have an impact.
What he did was wrong and I don't condone that at all. But how does mom stooping to public humiliation help at all? Does humiliation build someone's character or help develop empathy? No, it does just the opposite. Mom also must have had second thoughts about tagging her son since she removed the tag once it went viral.
Actually, I disagree with you. Sometimes you need to take a walk in someone else's shoes to fully appreciate what they have gone through. It's one thing to be told how you hurt someone, it's quite another to experience that for yourself firsthand. I think it teaches a valuable lesson, it's not about humiliating him just for the fun of it.............it's about showing him through experience what it feels like to be humiliated in front of the people you know and how much that hurts. Trust me, he'll think twice before he does it again.
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| Posted 3/9/16 12:54 PM |
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