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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
depends on who is asking me not to 'tell anyone' and their relationship to my DH.
If it's a friend he has zero interest or interaction with, I'd tell him -
If it's someone he knows, sees regularly and him knowing might change his opinion of them, embarass them etc, I would keep my mouth shut ....
On the flip side - When you don't want anyone to know, you don't tell ANYONE yourself !
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Posted 2/10/16 9:32 AM  |
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Sparrow
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 6826 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by Sparrow
Posted by Hofstra26
I tell DH everything, I really can't think of anything that the two of us don't share..............even if someone said to one of us, "don't tell anyone". (which rarely ever happens) He's really the only one I would tell if someone said that (and vice versa), UNLESS it was something REALLY personal that person didn't want anyone to know. Everyone else would be off limits and I'd honor the "don't tell anyone".
On the flip side, I assume that if I say that to someone, they are going to tell their spouse..........it's just how it goes. 
But why? I just don't understand this. It's not like he needs to know (unless it directly involves him). Just to tell him because you can? Obviously it's a sensitive subject if they're telling you not to tell anyone.
If I intended to turn around and tell my husband, I would let my friend know that. Otherwise, I would consider yo to not be very trustworthy.
Also, I should point out that we don't have any separate friends which I think makes a difference. ALL of our friends are mutual and have been since we've been together in high school. We met in 10th grade through mutual friends and even as we've gotten older and made newer friends, they too are mutual. So it's not like I have a girlfriend that doesn't really know or hang out with my DH and he has no guy friends that are independent of me.
So when you have a mutual set of friends, sharing everything is less of a big deal because we're ALL friends, I think that changes the dynamic a lot.
If your friends are all aware that you do this then it's a different story. I'm thinking along the lines of being out to dinner with one of my girlfriends, who knows but is not "friends" with DH (which none of them independently are) telling me something she feels is very personal, requesting I not repeat it then running home to tell DH just because "we don't keep secrets". I don't hide things from my DH but if someome tells me their private business that has nothing to do with DH and asks that I keep it private, I'm not telling him. I don't think it has any impact on my relationship with my husband if I keep a friends secret that has zero involvement with DH.
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| Posted 2/10/16 9:47 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
Posted by Sparrow
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by Sparrow
Posted by Hofstra26
I tell DH everything, I really can't think of anything that the two of us don't share..............even if someone said to one of us, "don't tell anyone". (which rarely ever happens) He's really the only one I would tell if someone said that (and vice versa), UNLESS it was something REALLY personal that person didn't want anyone to know. Everyone else would be off limits and I'd honor the "don't tell anyone".
On the flip side, I assume that if I say that to someone, they are going to tell their spouse..........it's just how it goes.
But why? I just don't understand this. It's not like he needs to know (unless it directly involves him). Just to tell him because you can? Obviously it's a sensitive subject if they're telling you not to tell anyone.
If I intended to turn around and tell my husband, I would let my friend know that. Otherwise, I would consider yo to not be very trustworthy.
Also, I should point out that we don't have any separate friends which I think makes a difference. ALL of our friends are mutual and have been since we've been together in high school. We met in 10th grade through mutual friends and even as we've gotten older and made newer friends, they too are mutual. So it's not like I have a girlfriend that doesn't really know or hang out with my DH and he has no guy friends that are independent of me.
So when you have a mutual set of friends, sharing everything is less of a big deal because we're ALL friends, I think that changes the dynamic a lot.
If your friends are all aware that you do this then it's a different story. I'm thinking along the lines of being out to dinner with one of my girlfriends, who knows but is not "friends" with DH (which none of them independently are) telling me something she feels is very personal, requesting I not repeat it then running home to tell DH just because "we don't keep secrets". I don't hide things from my DH but if someome tells me their private business that has nothing to do with DH and asks that I keep it private, I'm not telling him. I don't think it has any impact on my relationship with my husband if I keep a friends secret that has zero involvement with DH.
Like I said, it's not a matter of running home to tell him just for the sake of telling him, usually things just come up in conversation together. But I don't disagree with you, if I had a friend that really didn't know DH at all and told me something VERY personal and really felt strongly about anyone not knowing, I would keep it quiet. And DH wouldn't care, it's not like he specifically asks me to tell him things...........I just do that on my own. 
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| Posted 2/10/16 9:52 AM |
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Momma2015
Mommax2
Member since 12/12 6656 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
Posted by MarisaK
depends on who is asking me not to 'tell anyone' and their relationship to my DH.
If it's a friend he has zero interest or interaction with, I'd tell him -
If it's someone he knows, sees regularly and him knowing might change his opinion of them, embarass them etc, I would keep my mouth shut ....
On the flip side - When you don't want anyone to know, you don't tell ANYONE yourself !
Agreed. There's stuff about my family and our mutual friends that I wouldn't tell DH. It's personal and I was told in confidence.
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| Posted 2/10/16 9:55 AM |
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Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!
Member since 8/05 14470 total posts
Name:
Veronica
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
I'm great with secrets but...
My hubby is my vent. You tell me something and its possible he may know. Not always, depends if I feel it worth sharing. I mean you buy shoes when you know you shouldn't spend the money and you are hiding it from your hubby? Nah my hubby won't know/care. But You tell me your hubby is doing something bad and you're thinking of an unwise retaliation, yeah, I'm probably going to talk to my hubby. Hell even in posting this I won't expose what bad and retaliation are. LOL
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| Posted 2/10/16 10:12 AM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
Posted by MarisaK
depends on who is asking me not to 'tell anyone' and their relationship to my DH.
If it's a friend he has zero interest or interaction with, I'd tell him -
If it's someone he knows, sees regularly and him knowing might change his opinion of them, embarass them etc, I would keep my mouth shut ....
On the flip side - When you don't want anyone to know, you don't tell ANYONE yourself !
pretty much this
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| Posted 2/10/16 10:15 AM |
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dctead
It's 5 o'clock somewhere!
Member since 11/10 2139 total posts
Name:
Emily
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
Posted by AudioLoveStory
I will always tell DH. A big component of our marriage is not having ANY secrets from each other, no matter how small. If I didn't tell him, I would feel like I'm lying. My friends would have to accept that, and they all do!
Anyone who knows me...knows that DH and I share everything. If you don't want him to know - don't tell me.
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| Posted 2/10/16 10:59 AM |
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luvbuffet
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 6470 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
i tell fh everything... unless its something I know he will want to get involved in or pass a comment then i keep it to myself. this only happened once.. but i told him 6 months later
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| Posted 2/10/16 11:13 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
Posted by AudioLoveStory
I will always tell DH. A big component of our marriage is not having ANY secrets from each other, no matter how small. If I didn't tell him, I would feel like I'm lying. My friends would have to accept that, and they all do!
Yes, I am the same. If you tell me something you should know I am going to tell my husband. I think most people know this and so if they say including your husband I will tell them not to share it with me.
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| Posted 2/10/16 2:50 PM |
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
I don't tell anyone a secret unless I don't care that their spouse will know it too.
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| Posted 2/11/16 1:05 PM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
I'm glad a lot of you chicks aren't in my circle.
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| Posted 2/11/16 1:26 PM |
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Maybe-Baybe
My Sunshine
Member since 7/12 3415 total posts
Name:
My only Sunshine
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
Posted by MarisaK
depends on who is asking me not to 'tell anyone' and their relationship to my DH.
If it's a friend he has zero interest or interaction with, I'd tell him -
If it's someone he knows, sees regularly and him knowing might change his opinion of them, embarass them etc, I would keep my mouth shut ....
On the flip side - When you don't want anyone to know, you don't tell ANYONE yourself !
Yes to all of this.
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| Posted 2/11/16 4:06 PM |
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beachgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 7967 total posts
Name:
sara
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
Depends..usually i share with DH but that is absolutely it and then I swear him to secrecy. But depends on the circumstances...for example last year there was a rumor going around our school about two of the teachers who were married having an affair and I was told this and to be honest I didn't tell DH as I thought it was gossip and hurtful to the families involved if it kept spreading...as it turned out months later DH went on a golfing trip with some of the dads at the school and they were all talking about it and were surprised that he didn't know
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| Posted 2/11/16 5:16 PM |
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klingklang77
kraftwerk!
Member since 7/06 11489 total posts
Name:
Völlig losgelöst
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
Posted by JennZ
I'm glad a lot of you chicks aren't in my circle.
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| Posted 2/11/16 5:26 PM |
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ready2go
LIF Adult
Member since 1/08 2379 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
Posted by JennZ
I'm glad a lot of you chicks aren't in my circle.
I would feel kind of embarrassed if I knew that my friends' DH's knew things I swore to secrecy to my friends.
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| Posted 2/11/16 7:00 PM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
Posted by ready2go
Posted by JennZ
I'm glad a lot of you chicks aren't in my circle.
I would feel kind of embarrassed if I knew that my friends' DH's knew things I swore to secrecy to my friends.
And not for anything but my Dh wouldn't want to know my girlfriends business like it wouldn't occur to me to tell him unless they met a famous athlete lol
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| Posted 2/11/16 8:51 PM |
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momtimes2
LIF Infant
Member since 4/14 333 total posts
Name:
stephanie
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
Posted by JennZ
I'm glad a lot of you chicks aren't in my circle.
seriously I agree. if I tell my BFF something and say "dont tell anyone" it means just that - keep your damn mouth shut - lol
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| Posted 2/12/16 1:17 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
Posted by momtimes2
Posted by JennZ
I'm glad a lot of you chicks aren't in my circle.
seriously I agree. if I tell my BFF something and say "dont tell anyone" it means just that - keep your damn mouth shut - lol
I bet that even in "your circle" you've had a friend (or more) who has shared things you told her with her DH because she knows it would never actually get back to you. You just don't know which friend that is because they would never tell you they actually said anything to their DH. 
Just looking as these responses alone it's a safe bet that many women don't think much of sharing things with their DH so it stands to reason you might have a friend that does the same.
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| Posted 2/12/16 1:25 PM |
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Mom0710
LIF Adolescent
Member since 9/14 682 total posts
Name:
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Re: "Don't tell anyone..."
Shit, half the time my Dh isn't listening anyway. And he told me!! So he's the one who broke the rule. I had dinner last night with a gf and I didn't tell Dh what we talked about. Only about what I Ate. I know when to say something and when not to.
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| Posted 2/12/16 5:42 PM |
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