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itsbabytime
LIF Adult
Member since 11/05 9644 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: How to tell others you are terminally ill?
I'm so very sorry. My heart and prayers goes out to you and your family!! 
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Posted 8/31/15 3:52 PM  |
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klsnyc805
LIF Adolescent
Member since 11/09 578 total posts
Name:
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Re: How to tell others you are terminally ill?
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| Posted 8/31/15 4:20 PM |
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MrsD121011
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 1460 total posts
Name:
Elicia
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How to tell others you are terminally ill?
This was so sad to read. I don't have any advice but I just wanted to say that my prayers are with you and your family. I would just not leave anything unsaid and make sure everyone knows your final wishes. Most of my family members who have passed never told us what they wanted and it made it hard for everyone to agree and decide. Good luck and God bless....
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| Posted 8/31/15 5:07 PM |
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sunnyflies
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 1757 total posts
Name:
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How to tell others you are terminally ill?
Thank you all so much. I can hardly type right now. I am soooo touched by all of your responses. I never expected them. I will read each one carefully when I stop crying. I haven't cried yet, this is the first time. It feels so strange. I have been trying so hard to be brave for my DH's sake.
We go to see my oncologist tomorrow to get the results of Friday's PET scan, but I know they are not good. Memorial Sloan Kettering already told me what I have is incurable, as did my kindly new doctor at NY Hospital. It is just a matter of finding out from him whether chemo might give me a bit longer, or if it has spread too far already. I've been emptying closets and drawers these past few days and throwing out the stuff we gather over a lifetime today so he and the children will not have to do it. It has actually been lovely, remembering all the times we had raising our children.
I am keeping some of the artwork, cards, notes and mementos, but the rest needs to go. I think I saved everything each child ever did. I have been such a lucky woman to have have had two great kids and a wonderful husband all of these years.
Hold your loved ones tight. You never know what might happen. Life is strange.
My poor DH can hardly talk.
Message edited 8/31/2015 5:50:40 PM.
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| Posted 8/31/15 5:49 PM |
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bunnyluck
LIF Adult
Member since 1/14 3196 total posts
Name:
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How to tell others you are terminally ill?
So very sorry. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
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| Posted 8/31/15 6:08 PM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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How to tell others you are terminally ill?
Omg this is so terrible!!! I'm so incredibly sorry!
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| Posted 8/31/15 6:23 PM |
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BunnyWife
Insert Witty Comment Here
Member since 5/07 8274 total posts
Name:
BunnyWife
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Re: How to tell others you are terminally ill?
All the advice given is wonderful. I have nothing to add except to say, I'm praying for you and your family.
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| Posted 8/31/15 6:28 PM |
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Alexandra17
Keep It Positive
Member since 4/09 6262 total posts
Name:
Alexandra (ali)
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How to tell others you are terminally ill?
I hate pancreatic cancer. It took my aunt away from us at the age of 39. I'm so angry for you and sad.
Take this time to tell them the best way you can but be honest and blunt.
Looking back and seeing all the stuff our family wishes for, I can only think of some things. Take pictures! !! Home movies also, oh man, I wish we had more of her voice. Travel and take this time to tell them every little hope and dream. Let them know how much you love them. I'm thinking of you and praying.
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| Posted 8/31/15 7:17 PM |
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hopingforbaby
We made a wish & you came true
Member since 2/10 2695 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: How to tell others you are terminally ill?
I have nothing to add but I just wanted to say I am so very sorry you and your family have to go through this. I will be keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers!
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| Posted 8/31/15 7:38 PM |
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beanie571
:-P
Member since 5/07 2509 total posts
Name:
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How to tell others you are terminally ill?
I am so so so sorry to read this. I am praying for strength for you. I think just being very straightforward and telling them what's happening is the best way to go. Get that out of the way so you can just be together and get through everything as a family. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Sending you a million hugs.
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| Posted 8/31/15 7:40 PM |
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ANewDayHasCome
Love multiplies, not divides
Member since 11/12 14481 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: How to tell others you are terminally ill?
Posted by sunnyflies
Thank you all so much. I can hardly type right now. I am soooo touched by all of your responses. I never expected them. I will read each one carefully when I stop crying. I haven't cried yet, this is the first time. It feels so strange. I have been trying so hard to be brave for my DH's sake.
We go to see my oncologist tomorrow to get the results of Friday's PET scan, but I know they are not good. Memorial Sloan Kettering already told me what I have is incurable, as did my kindly new doctor at NY Hospital. It is just a matter of finding out from him whether chemo might give me a bit longer, or if it has spread too far already. I've been emptying closets and drawers these past few days and throwing out the stuff we gather over a lifetime today so he and the children will not have to do it. It has actually been lovely, remembering all the times we had raising our children.
I am keeping some of the artwork, cards, notes and mementos, but the rest needs to go. I think I saved everything each child ever did. I have been such a lucky woman to have have had two great kids and a wonderful husband all of these years.
Hold your loved ones tight. You never know what might happen. Life is strange.
My poor DH can hardly talk.
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| Posted 8/31/15 7:58 PM |
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How to tell others you are terminally ill?
I have no advice but I wanted to say you are in my thoughts. I admire the love and strength your showing for your family after this horrible news. You are strong. Sending you hugs.
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| Posted 8/31/15 8:33 PM |
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hmm
Sweet
Member since 1/14 7983 total posts
Name:
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How to tell others you are terminally ill?
so sorry to hear this news I know you must feel devastated, angry, pissed and sad. Sunnyflies, you know your children best. Tell them in a setting that you will feel comfortable in. If they know you have been sick but not sure why, then they are looking for answers. If having them for dinner works then go with it. They will be in shock so give them time to process the new as well.
I dont know where you live or if you would be interested, but I can recommend a person that helps counsels people and families going through this
I
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| Posted 8/31/15 8:48 PM |
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MrsM84
LIF Adult
Member since 2/13 2352 total posts
Name:
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How to tell others you are terminally ill?
I am so incredibly sorry to hear this. My heart hurts for you and your family. I can't imagine what you are going through. My mother goes every 3 months to a hematologist who runs tests on her blood to rule out leukemia and other blood related disorders which she is at very high risk for due to some conditions, many of which could be deadly without any real treatment options. She tells me when she is going to the doctor and I always ask her in the days after if she got the results back. I ask her pretty compulsively because my biggest fear is that (if the results indicate something bad) she will withhold the results from me. I fear this scenario because I feel strongly that my mother doesn't need the additional stress and burden of trying to figure out how to tell us. If something bad were indicated (which thank God so far hasn't been the case) and she were to have limited time, I would want her to be as stress free as possible given the situation. Not spending that time worrying about how to tell family members. I urge you to tell your children as soon as you feel comfortable doing so. As much as the news will devastate them and there is nothing you can do to prepare them, they'll want to know so that this limited time can be shared and cherished as much as possible. I'll be praying for you and your family during this difficult time.
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| Posted 8/31/15 9:03 PM |
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Re: How to tell others you are terminally ill?
I was crying as I read this. I can't even imagine what you and your DH are going through. Im praying for you. I agree with everything so many people wrote. Write to your kids, let them know that you will always be there for them even if you are not physically there. I look out my window everyday looking for signs from my lost loved ones. I truly believe you will always be there for your family. 
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| Posted 8/31/15 9:07 PM |
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LIRascal
drama. daily.
Member since 3/11 7287 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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How to tell others you are terminally ill?
I had to come back to this thread because I am just so upset by it. I don't want to believe that there is nothing they can do. It just can't be. There have been so many stories of people who have beat the odds. I'm praying for a miracle
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| Posted 8/31/15 9:33 PM |
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Lara&Aidansmommy
For mom i miss u ETC ILOVEU
Member since 3/07 13921 total posts
Name:
ETC I LOVE YOU
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Re: How to tell others you are terminally ill?
I include you in my prayers every night. I swear to you. You are a strong woman , well you know how I feel after we conversed
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| Posted 8/31/15 9:38 PM |
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mrsdukes
LIF Adult
Member since 1/09 943 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: How to tell others you are terminally ill?
Hugs and prayers for you and your family. 
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| Posted 8/31/15 9:55 PM |
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Faithx2
All good things in 2016!!
Member since 8/05 20181 total posts
Name:
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Re: How to tell others you are terminally ill?
My heart just sank reading this. I am so very sorry. I will keep you and your family in my prayers XO
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| Posted 8/31/15 10:02 PM |
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KD718
LIF Toddler
Member since 4/10 493 total posts
Name:
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Re: How to tell others you are terminally ill?
I want you to know that I am praying for you. I am praying to my uncle, a Catholic priest now with his maker. He survived almost a decade after a pancreatic cancer diagnosis. He was and is a miracle. For most of that time, he lived well. He traveled and wrote. Studied and celebrated mass. I hope that he will look upon you and your family and ask the Lord to give you strength and peace and time to make more memories.
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| Posted 8/31/15 10:04 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7272 total posts
Name:
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Re: How to tell others you are terminally ill?
I am so, so sorry to hear this. I wouldn't sugarcoat things for your kids, that could just lead to more worry and fear. Would they want to attend one of your doctor's appointments? Sometimes moving them closer to the situation and letting them hear the doctors can be helpful. I also know that MSK has support groups for family. I'm sure you've already been assigned a social worker. Use them! They are usually full of great ideas.
Most importantly, no doctor can give you a finite timeframe. There are MANY clinical trials available at MSK, if that is something you are interested in. People can (and often do) live a good amount of time with metastatic cancer. I see it every single day. "Incurable" doesn't mean "unmanageable." Please don't give up hope!
You sound like such a strong woman and if your children are half as strong as their mom they will be there for love and support. You are in my thoughts and prayers and I really, REALLY hope you're one of the MANY miracles I hear about on a daily basis.
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| Posted 8/31/15 10:08 PM |
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Deedlebugs
Blessed
Member since 12/05 10281 total posts
Name:
Kiki
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Re: How to tell others you are terminally ill?
I am so very sorry. You will be in my prayers. I have no advice to offer you but I just needed to let you know that prayers are being sent your way.
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| Posted 8/31/15 10:40 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: How to tell others you are terminally ill?
Posted by sunnyflies
Thank you all so much. I can hardly type right now. I am soooo touched by all of your responses. I never expected them. I will read each one carefully when I stop crying. I haven't cried yet, this is the first time. It feels so strange. I have been trying so hard to be brave for my DH's sake.
We go to see my oncologist tomorrow to get the results of Friday's PET scan, but I know they are not good. Memorial Sloan Kettering already told me what I have is incurable, as did my kindly new doctor at NY Hospital. It is just a matter of finding out from him whether chemo might give me a bit longer, or if it has spread too far already. I've been emptying closets and drawers these past few days and throwing out the stuff we gather over a lifetime today so he and the children will not have to do it. It has actually been lovely, remembering all the times we had raising our children.
I am keeping some of the artwork, cards, notes and mementos, but the rest needs to go. I think I saved everything each child ever did. I have been such a lucky woman to have have had two great kids and a wonderful husband all of these years.
Hold your loved ones tight. You never know what might happen. Life is strange.
My poor DH can hardly talk.
Many prayers for you and your family.
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| Posted 8/31/15 10:42 PM |
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Pebbles
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 531 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: How to tell others you are terminally ill?
My sister in law was diagnosed in Oct with stage 4 pancreatic cancer that was inoperable as it spread to her liver, she was very straight forward with her family and told her kids she was dying and that she would fight as hard as she could, she did not sugar coat the issue, she passed in May and it's just awful but her strength was amazing, I am sorry you have to deal with this, if you need yo talk feel free to reach out to me as I just went through this
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| Posted 9/1/15 12:23 AM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: How to tell others you are terminally ill?
I am
So
Very sorry
I wish you peace and strength and my prayers are with you
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| Posted 9/1/15 12:28 AM |
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