When you disagree on C.I.O.

My DS is 4 months old and last week went from waking once a night to waking multiple times a night. We spoke to the doctor and he said 1) we need to move him from the rock and play to his crib and 2) we need to do cry it out. My husband and I got into an argument about it because I just couldn't see myself letting him cry, but I compromised and agreed to move him to his crib and try a modified cry it out vwhere we would talk to him and rub his tummy, but not puck him up. Well when we tried the crib, DS was hysterical and I just could not do the cry it out. I ended up picking him up after one minute. This went on multiple times and my DH was upset with me because he thinks I'm coddling him and he will end up a mama's boy. I argued that he was only 4 months old and we finally gave in and put the rock and play into the nursery to get DS used to his new space. He is getting too big for the rock and play so he does need to go into the crib but I don't know what to do. I also don't know how to get him to sleep longer. I'm not sure I can do it, but for those who did cry-it-out, did you notice any lasting effects? I know it sounds crazy, but I feel like I'm traumatizing him for life.

When you disagree on C.I.O.

CIO was the best thing we ever did. It was so hard- I left the room crying after each time I went in, but it's so worth it. DS knows now that when I say "bedtime" he goes to the gate and we start our routine. Sometimes it takes him a while to fall asleep, but he plays in his crib until he's tired. I was the "enforcer" and worried that he'd hate me, but he is such a clingy momma's boy!!!!

With all that being said- I think 4 months is too young for CIO. I would start putting him in his crib during naps to get him used to being in there. I would use CIO at 6 months.

ETA- is he eating food yet? We started DS on cereal at 4 months. Also- there are a bunch of articles about 4 month sleep regression- one of my friends has a 4mo and is always posting them on Facebook! Good luck!

Message edited 8/19/2014 8:29:53 AM.

Re: When you disagree on C.I.O.

i dont believe in CIO as well.
what i do id something called the pick up put down.

its from the baby whisperer which i swear by!

When you disagree on C.I.O.

I think 4 months is too early for CIO. My DS will be 4 months next week and he has had severe sleep regression the last 2-3 weeks so I feel your frustration/pain. Right now, I am trying to get him to "learn" how to put himself to sleep since right now he will only fall sleep when nursed. I think his problem is not that he is hungry, but that he wakes up and has no idea how to fall back to sleep. He used to use a pacifier or suck his fingers but has stopped doing both.

Re: When you disagree on C.I.O.

When you disagree on C.I.O.

We did CIO with dd at 5 months old. It was hard but I'm so glad we did it! Ds is 3 months old and I'm getting ready to do it - although last night he sttn 830pm - 5am!
Maybe the crib transition and CIO at the same time it too much. Try getting him used to the crib (a week or two) and then try CIO. trying not to nurse him to sleep, this will help when you do CIO.
Also just to add, kids react differently to CIO. With dd I would go in, rub her belly etc and she just for more hysterical when I left the room. We waited a week and did CIO where I didn't even go I to her. It was def harder for me but she seemed to react better to doing it that way and after 3 nights she sttn
Good luck

Message edited 8/19/2014 9:09:37 AM.

Re: When you disagree on C.I.O.

He's too young for CIO... plus it's so common for babies at that age to go thru sleep regression (Google it). At this point, I would do what you feel comfortable with, but do a little poking around the internet regarding babies sleep habits at this age.

Good luck!

When you disagree on C.I.O.

4 months is way too young IMO. Kids (esp infants and toddlers) go through so many sleep changes and sleep regressions.

Your DH is being silly to think you're going to have a mama's boy due to comforting your newborn baby. Your son has only been out of the womb for 4 months!!!!

Re: When you disagree on C.I.O.

I think 4 months is a little too young to let them CIO. If you haven't already, I would try starting some new routines. With my kids, once I took them into their room that was it for the night. Even if they did wake up at night I would comfort them and hold them but in THEIR room, I wouldn't take them out to any other part of the house because I wanted them to understand that once it's nighttime, they stay in their rooms.

I also followed the same routine at night. Pajamas, soft lighting, last bottle, kisses goodnight, turn on soft music/sound machine put their Twilight Turtles on and then right into bed. When they were a little older I added a book too at bedtime. With our DD we made the mistake of holding her on our shoulder until she fell asleep then we would put her down, which was a pain, but with our DS we never held him, we just put him right into the crib and he learned (quickly) to put himself to sleep.

I think routines are SO important in creating a really good sleeper. I never really had to fight with my kids about going to bed because they go to bed the same time every night and they know what to expect so bedtime has always been a breeze in our house........even from the time they were very young. (I had them both STTN at 8 weeks old.) Also important is recognizing when they are getting tired so you get them into bed before they hit the dreaded overtired phase.

You'll figure it out, some kids just take a little longer to work out their nighttime sleep/routines. Follow your LOs cues and do what you think is best and you'll be fine. Good luck!!

When you disagree on C.I.O.

This might sound like a stupid question but what is so bad about nursing (or in my case bottle feeding) to sleep? My son drinks a bottle before bed every night as part of his bedtime routine.

When you disagree on C.I.O.

Four months old is too young for letting a baby cry it out. At four months babies are still learning to trust that their needs will be met. My pediatrician has stressed how important building this trust is for long term emotional development. I would focus on transitioning to the crib without using cry it out.

When you disagree on C.I.O.

You're going to get a lot of different opinions on this from these boards.

I don't believe in CIO - and definitely not younger than 6 months. When they are this young they still need someone to comfort them and hold them when they are crying. I don't see the point in making them cry when they still do not know any better.

As far as your DH's comment about spoiling/coddling him - tell him to shove it. You CANNOT spoil a baby - not this young. My DH would say that to me when I held DS all the time - I almost punched him the face for saying something so rude to a mother holding her baby.

DD is 8 months old, I give her a bottle while I hold her and she falls asleep. I then transfer her to the crib. Sometimes she wakes up and I just kiss her good night and walk out. She will fuss a few minutes and then pass out. If she starts to cry I wait 5 minutes before I go in there, pick her up and rock her to sleep in my arms. I place her in crib and repeat the above if necessary. 90% of the time she puts herself to sleep.

Like others have said 4 months is a big growth spurt and sleep regression stage. It will get better - just hang in there.

Re: When you disagree on C.I.O.

Re: When you disagree on C.I.O.

Re: When you disagree on C.I.O.

Re: When you disagree on C.I.O.

I am a big proponent of CIO but not at 4 months old. Around that age is when I introduced a lovey. I slept with it first for like a week and every time I put her down for a nap or sleep I gave her the lovey.

Around 8 months is when I did CIO - the progressive method. Link to the method I used.

For now I'd just ride it out.

Re: When you disagree on C.I.O.

When you disagree on C.I.O.

I also think 4 months is too young. I never did CIO with my kids, it just did not feel right to me (I know it has worked well for others though) - with my dd, I rocked her to sleep for a year and once she resisted the rocking, I just put her into bed sleepy but awake. With my DS, I got very lucky that he never fussed or cried out in bed so I would just put him into his crib

Re: When you disagree on C.I.O.

CIO was a life saver for our family with both my boys! I am a huge fan! LOL

HOwever I woudl never have done it at 4 months old!
My oldest was 13 months (he has STTN from 6 weeks -9m and then stopped) and my youngest was 7 months.

4 months its probably a growth spurt. Try increasing his intake, adding cereal to the bottle or starting him on solids. He is probably just hungry at this point!

When you disagree on C.I.O.

Well I guess I'm in the minority but I couldn't CIO. I didn't have the heart for it. I would just let her feel me until she slept then moved away from her slowing weaning her if you will. But at 4m? No way! She was still sleeping with us in the snuggle nest. I never regret all those hours spent holding her.

Think you two need to just sit and agree on the course of action, but all I've ever heard 6m was the starting time for CIO.

Good luck!

When you disagree on C.I.O.

IMO 4 mos is too young for CIO.
My DS fell asleep with either a bottle or on my boob till he was at least 6 months old. He also didn't sleep the night till he was about 10 months. He was genuinely hungry, would wake up twice a night screaming bloody murder.
Now at 2 years he sleeps in his crib no problem (with no milk before).
IMO you can't spoil a baby that young.
Give it some time. Transition him to his crib first, then a few weeks later if you feel the need to then try CIO. Doing it all at once can be overwhelming

Re: When you disagree on C.I.O.

4 Months is too young for CIO. Your DH needs to realize this and also to learn that you cannot go with the doctor's advice on everything they say. At this age your baby should still be feeding during the night and there are growth spurts to consider to completely normal. If your DH is bothered by it then tell him to sleep in another room. Follow your instinct.

PS you cannot spoil a newborn.

Re: When you disagree on C.I.O.

I am all for CIO but not at 4 months old.
Way too young IMO.
Especially with the transition to a crib which is a big adjustment for him.
I would continue to do what you are doing and wait until around 6 months old to try CIO again.

When you disagree on C.I.O.

I can't wager in on CIO but tell your DH it doesn't matter whether you are coddling him at 4 months, chances are he's going to be a mommas boy. Boys love their momma, trust me I got my DS when he was 23 months and everyone is always commenting on how attached he is to me. My DH says it's sickening but I love it.

Re: When you disagree on C.I.O.