CIO: Sleep Training/ LONG and Help!

For pretty much all of June, DD (who is now 17 months) slept with us because she was continuously sick for 4 weeks. First with two ear infections, random crazy high fevers, etc....Since she was born, she was never a good early sleeper as a newborn (what newborn is? ) and even up until she was about 5 months, she would only sleep, even during the night, in my arms. IF i tried to put her down, she would cry incessantly. I'm not complaining.
One day when she turned 6 months, she started sleeping through the night and has been that way ever since!
After she turned 14 months, DH started a new job and has been on a whacky schedule ever since, so she would fall asleep on my arms at night. I would put her in her crib and then around 6:30-7am should would wake up and then i would bring her in bed with me and she would wake up anywhere between 8-9:30am.
Then in June she got sick and she got used to sleeping with us. It got so bad that I would let her fall asleep in my arms at night and when I tried to put her in her crib, its like she knew I was about to place her in there and she would wake up crying hysterically. Flailing her arms and legs and would hold on to me for dear life. I wouldn't even have the chance to lay her down in the crib and if i did she would grab onto to me to climb out.
after doing this numerous times by midnight, i would just let her sleep in our bed.
Enough is enough though. DH is on a new schedule now where he works from 4 to midnight. He never let me do CIO with her because he thought its cruel. I don't like it either, but i feel its the only way she will get used to falling asleep on her own and staying asleep in her crib.
I started this method on Tuesday. when her bedtime came, i told her i loved her and that we had so much fun today and its time to go to sleep now. I carried her over to her crib and put her nightlight on and she saw me adjust the monitor and i kissed her goodnight and walked out. I know that there are two methods, checking in on them every 5, 10, 15...minutes or just walking out cold turkey. I know my DD. if i keep walking in to check on her, her crying will get worse. Unfortunately, we live upstairs from my in laws (whole other story) and they would be prone to see what the eff is going on if she wouldn't stop crying. So i made the decision to monitor her from the monitor and not go into the room.
She cried for 45 minutes that first night. After the 45 minutes, pacing, crying and furiously trying to find a way out of her crib, she sat down and fell asleep sitting up. I found her this way, swaying to and fro from sleepiness and layed her down and she fell asleep. Normally, when DD sleeps, she won't wake up till morning, but that first night, I put her down at 9:30pm. She was asleep by 10:30 and by 11:30pm she woke up crying. when i went to check on her, she laid back down as soon as i walked in and i stayed by her crib until she fell back asleep. I think she was testing me to see if i would come check on her if she started to cry. She woke up again at 3am and the same thing, as soon as i walked in, she laid back down and fell asleep. this occurred again at 6am.
Yesterday, I put her to sleep at 9pm. she cried for 1 hour and then she fell asleep. I found her passed out again sitting up and i went in and laid her down. She did the same thing, waking up numerous times at night.
Tonight, i put her in bed and after 1 hour she fell asleep. she's already woken up once and fallen back asleep.

Does this get any easier? my heart breaks to hear her cry for 1 hour. she paces, cries, lunges, hits the crib trying to get out. I know every child is different, but will the amount of time it takes her to cry decrease over time? for all you other CIO mamma's....how long did it take your LO's to get adjusted?

CIO: Sleep Training/ LONG and Help!

I did cio a 16 months after a few weeks of awful sleep. It took her the usual 3 nights to adjust and she cried less each of those three nights (40 minutes, 15 minutes, less than 5 minutes). She also sttn from the very first night which she had never done consistently. I would probably stop going in and laying her down. If she gets uncomfortable she'll lay herself down. You want to make sure everything in her environment stays consistent throughout the night (no music as she falls asleep, if you use white noise it should stay on all night, don't move her after she falls asleep, etc). Maybe give her a lovey to snuggle with. My other suggestion is to check out troublesometots.com. That was a godsend when we went through this.

CIO: Sleep Training/ LONG and Help!

Call Rebecca at parents are talking. She specializes in gently sleep shaping. Not full on sleep trainer. She's so sweet and has helped so many people. Fm me for her info.

Re: CIO: Sleep Training/ LONG and Help!

CIO: Sleep Training/ LONG and Help!

My dd is a few months older than yours, and she went thru a really tough sleep phase around your dds age too. I think it might have been an attachment issue. I know she wasn't hungry. I felt really bad for her though and would end up in her room consoling her several times a night. Finally I got so exhausted that I decided to try CIO again (I had done it jn the past for various reasons). I only do extinction method with my dd. I don't go back in every 5 or 10 min bec I know it will only make her cry harder. The first night she cried for about an hour and it broke my heart, but she eventually did fall asleep (sitting up like your dd, lol). The next night she cried for less time and after 2 or 3 nights went back to sttn. Now occasionally if she wAkes I don't even go in. I let her cry and usually within 5 or 10 min at the most she's back to sleep.

Good luck, I know how hard it is to hear her crying.

Re: CIO: Sleep Training/ LONG and Help!

I think you have to let her cry when she wakes up in the middle of the night. Don't go in unless you legitimately think something is wrong - and 99% of the time, nothing is wrong.

She has to understand that night time is sleep time, and she sleeps alone. It'll get easier, but I know it's rough at first.

Re: CIO: Sleep Training/ LONG and Help!

CIO didn't work for me. I had to put him in his crib and sleep on the floor next to him. Every time he sounded like he would start crying I would shhhh him and tell him mommy is here.

I had to do that for a couple of weeks, but now I can finally put him in his crib and walk away.

CIO: Sleep Training/ LONG and Help!

Can someone tell me how much Rebecca is? I don't think DH would be up for paying someone to help me put my DD to sleep with his thoughts on CIO already.

I've thought about letting her CIO when she wakes up at night but DH gets home at 12:30 and if he hears her cry, he won't let her and no amount of me telling him no will stop him from going to get her. Plus, i think if i don't go in, she will literally start the whole charade again and CIO for another 45 min.

Re: CIO: Sleep Training/ LONG and Help!

Re: CIO: Sleep Training/ LONG and Help!

CIO: Sleep Training/ LONG and Help!

It's heartbreaking and you have decide what is right for you. I did CIO with DS when he was around 6 months old. He cried for 45 mins the first night, an hour the second night, 30 minutes the third, then was good for a while, then started up again with the crying for 2 more nights. I went in after 10 minutes and then added 5 minutes each time. He freaked out when I went in, but I would just sing for a minute and then walk back out even if he was still crying. He's an amazing sleeper now - goes to bed at 7-8pm wide awake, falls asleep, and gets up at 8-9am. He still gets up and cries every now and then during the night, but we ignore him and he's asleep within 10 minutes! IMO, CIO is terrible, but so helpful! Good luck with what you choose to do and if you choose to continue CIO, good luck with sticking to it!

Re: CIO: Sleep Training/ LONG and Help!

I'm in a very similar boat. DD is almost 15 months and does the same thing - will fall alseep in my arms (usually nursing) and when I put her down in her crib she wakes up immediately. I guess she's not in a deep REM yet. I tried CIO when she was about 5 months old, but she has a STRONG gag relex and gets herself so worked up that she throws up. I end up having to calm her down, clean up throw up from her, and me, change the sheets, and clean the carpet. The whole process got so exhausting that we gave up and when she wakes up in the middle of hte night she comes into bed with us.

I've read that people say to clean up the throw up (dr said that too) and put her back down but in reality that just doesn't work. She's so incredibly worked up at that point, putting her back down will not help soothe her.

Can someone tell me more about this Rebecca woman? I don't think DH would go for it either but I'm at a loss as well.

CIO: Sleep Training/ LONG and Help!

If you go in when she cries in the middle of the night (even though she goes back to sleep when she sees you) you are reinforcing the crying for you from her crib. When she cries you come in. So that's why it may not get better at the beginning of the night. It all has to be consistent.

Re: CIO: Sleep Training/ LONG and Help!

It does get easier. But when they are older it may take a little longer.

My oldest was 13 months when we did CIO. Dh was against it but I was the one getting up 3x a night with Ds. So I told him of he had another method I was willing to try it. And if he wasn't willing to give me at least a few days of trying it my way then it was now HIS job to get up in the middle of the night for his son. Who at that point would literally fall asleep in your arms the minute you would pick him up but wouldn't let you put him back in the crib for at least 30 mins!!!

Anyway. The first night my son cried for 1h 15 mins and fell asleep standing up and then just toppled over. Lol.

IMO in the middle of the night you need to give her some time to self soothe. Start with 5 mins. Let her cry and see what happens. My ped always says walk veeeeerrrrryyyy slowly. Go in rub her back tell her its okay and when her eyes close sneak out (,I also used to sit on the glider so they could see me but I wasn't really soothing them). After a night of two. Wait 10 mins.

Like anything else, its trial and error. I have 2 boys used CIO on both but in different ways. You have to find what suits you and your baby best.

And remind your husband that a good sound sleep means a happier, more alert, more stimulated, healthier baby. CIO and sleep training in general is done with the best interest of the child in mind!!!

Re: CIO: Sleep Training/ LONG and Help!