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new here... questions and a venting outlet

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LIF Zygote

Member since 4/14

16 total posts


new here... questions and a venting outlet

hello ladies.

i want to start off with offering my condolences that your babies may not be as healthy as we hoped (not sure the proper term, no offense) prayers that everyone lives a happy and least stressful life as possible and just a hug for all of you strong ladies (men too)

i am here because i know my LO has something. im aware there is over diagnosis and im not a doctor but between family and friend work experience and just a general awareness this isnt a gut feeling... i just know...

LO has asd with speech delay and sensory issues. i told myself i would wait a little longer to call EI due to the young age and i dont want to be brushed off but at the same time im afraid to wait.

how young can a child be diagnosed? are their parent support groups? for those who have a diagnosed child, was it your 1st, 2nd, 3rd? did it affect your decision to have another child?

im so emotional right now and feel like no one takes me seriously. i would love if i was a crazy mom just worrying but i would bet everything i own on my self diagnosis. im just so sad.

Posted 4/21/14 2:37 PM

different, not less

Member since 7/09

13160 total posts


Re: new here... questions and a venting outlet

I wouldn't hesitate to call EI. I called EI originally for a speech issue right before he turned 18 months. He was diagnosed with ASD at 19 months.

ETA this is my first. We want another LO eventually regardless.

Message edited 4/21/2014 4:02:09 PM.

Posted 4/21/14 4:00 PM

I think I got this

Member since 11/10

1523 total posts


new here... questions and a venting outlet

I always knew something was wrong with DS. I brought it up to every Dr I saw. I kept bringing it up and bringing it up. I would absolutely call and have an evaluation done if you feel something is not right. And be persistent. I remember calling our pediatrician in tears one day. She told me to come I to the office and we talked. She believes parents know best and if a parent thinks something is wrong to look more closely. You are your child's best advocate.

Posted 4/21/14 4:29 PM

LIF Adult

Member since 9/10

996 total posts


new here... questions and a venting outlet

I knew something was "off" with my LO but if I mentioned it to anyone in family (including in-laws, dh, etc) the response was that I am over reacting, they don't see anything wrong, etc. I was displaced from Sandy during the time and actually went to a place to have LO evaluated for speech so no one would know what I was doing.

My LO was diagnosed with PDD-NOS (a diagnosis that no longer exists) and started receving services at 19 months. He has made significant strides and I don't regret havign him evaluated at all. Even DH has come around and if very happy about the services he receives.

Do not hesitate, get the eval and ignore everyone that tries to stop you. You are the advocate for your LO and it's important that you follow your "mommy gut" and d what you think is best. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, what's best for your LO is what's most important.

Posted 4/22/14 9:54 AM

Brotherly Love!

Member since 1/08

6209 total posts


Re: new here... questions and a venting outlet

My 1st son was diagnosed at 2.5 years old. I knew as early as 7 MONTHS, he was not typical. My 2nd son was diagnosed right after he turned 3 (has a milder asd case)

It is hard. Life is hard with a special needs child, let alone 2. It did not influence my decision to have more. I wanted my 1st to have someone to turn to when DH and I are no longer here. DS #2 was in EI since 18 months. The earlier the better.
My also have a daughter now. She is 14 months. I'm watching her closely.

We love our children no matter what diagnosis they may have. We do the best we can to cope. A mommy's gut never lies. If you feel he needs help, don't wait to call EI. msg me if you need anything

Posted 5/7/14 1:29 PM


Member since 12/07

16353 total posts


Re: new here... questions and a venting outlet

I think people who don't take us seriously is their own denial talking. I know DS grandparents on both sides tend to be like this.

Or my mom, the retired teacher will compare DS to other kids she had through the years who were "really bad".

This board is good knowledge and support.

I also have started just telling people I know IRL. It's amazing who you find out also has issues that way.

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Posted 5/7/14 6:38 PM

Baby #3 coming this June

Member since 8/05

6721 total posts


Re: new here... questions and a venting outlet

My DS has yet to be diagnosis with anything but I always knew something was not right. Even as far back as 6 months. His eye contact was bad, something was off with his walking as he got older. He had social issues. Never pointed to things he wanted.

Had him evaluated at 2 and didn't qualify. Had pediatrician look at his legs and she found nothing wrong. I put him in a 3 year old program at a local preschool. He wasn't doing good and I could notice the difference between him and the other kids. Teacher suggested I have him evaulated again. This time it was through school district. He was approved for the preschool year to go to a special intergrated class at a certain school. He qualified for both OT and PT. They saw all the issues I did. As much as I wanted to cry reading the evaluation reports, I was so happy someone saw what I did finally. He had a significant fine and gross motor skill delay. They saw the social issues as well as eye contact and low muscle tone. I also started bringing him to a developmental pediatrician.
He has had services for a year now and just qualified for services and inclusion class for kindergarten next year.

I can't tell you how much of an improvement I have seen in the last year. He can finally write letters and numbers and draw a real picture. He still needs work on it all but it's unbelievable change from last year. His social skills are so much better. And he is getting stronger, though his muscle tone is still not great. Everyone in my family notices the difference. I'm so glad I got him the help he needed and so glad he is continuing next year. Still working on his defiant behavior towards teachers when he just doesn't feel like doing something, but this has improved a great deal as well.

He is my first. It has not been an easy five years and not what I expected when I had a baby. It was hard to go a party or gathering with friends and see their kids doing things my child wasn't. It was stressful and embarrassing at times. He is still not comparable to other 5 year olds in regards to social skills but he is trying.
I have a younger son who is two. I was scared when I was pregnantq that he would also have issues but he is fine. He communicates so well. Points at things, brings you to things. Talks in sentences. Great eye contact. A smart little boy. I'm having my third and hoping this one is okay too. So don't let it deter you from having another if you really want one.
And stick with your mommy instincts. They are most likely right. I had family members, friends and even DH at times tell me I'm overacting and they don't see what I do. Well most of them admit now that there was a problem and see a big difference in him.

Message edited 5/9/2014 8:19:20 AM.

Posted 5/9/14 8:09 AM

LIF Infant

Member since 2/13

329 total posts


new here... questions and a venting outlet

I just had my 2 nd baby. I agree with alli06.
My first one has mod to sev autism. Non verbal, doesn't point ,lots of sensory ,fine motor ,gross motor issues . I had the blinders on, full denial. My spouse was the smart one. Said something was off.

After a stressful year decided to have another child, so the first will have some interaction at home ...had to go thro several stuff, iui, ivf, cryo etc but baby is now 4 months... We are watching him closely but so far seems different than my first one

Posted 5/9/14 9:57 AM

Me and my love

Member since 3/13

1301 total posts


new here... questions and a venting outlet

*hugs to you*

My son is asd and speech delay. He was diagnosed at the end of 15 months and started receiving services by the end of 16 months. He's now 18 months and doing really well in everything. Still not speaking but we do get more open mouth sounds from him and he's been trying to imitate words like "open" and "more".

I knew something was off with DS when by 6 months he wasn't babbling like a "normal" baby. I brought it up to my ped from 6 months on . He was hitting all other milestones, including walking by 9.5/10 months. Just no words. Ped said we'd keep an eye on it and if by 15 months there was no change, we'd start evaluating.

I wasn't surprised with the asd diagnosis, tbh. It runs on DHs side (with DH included). He's very mild, and with EI so early, they are predicting he'll be able to be mainstreamed by kindergarten (or sooner if I choose).

If you're truly worried, my suggestion is to get the EI. Mommys always know what is best for their babies. My entire family told me that I was over reacting and that my kid needed to "get used to things" (like when they would all shout his name/sing happy birthday and he would have a melt down. It was my fault because *i* made him too sensitive). They changed their tunes quickly when they found out that my mommy instincts weren't BS.

Trust yourself ! You are your child's best advocate :)

Posted 5/10/14 9:08 AM

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