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Melmel821
Love being a mom!
Member since 5/08 2776 total posts
Name:
Melanie
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WWYD: Carseat issue
Last weekend we lent our car to my brother. It's a small SUV and he had to move things. We asked him not to remove the carseat and he said he wouldn't have to.
Today, I'm out to lunch with him and he mentions that he move the car seat and it was easy to put it back.
DH noticed it was removed and asked me about it shortly after this conversation. He is beyond furious that it was even removed. I'm not upset about that, I just wish he told us sooner. I don't think he gets how important proper install is and that's why he didn't mention anything.
How would you go about confronting him? Should I keep DH out of it or should he be involved in the conversation?
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Posted 9/11/13 1:48 PM  |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: WWYD: Carseat issue
You should keep DH out of it. I understand being annoyed that it was removed, but I highly doubt there was any bad will behind it. Hence, I really wouldn't make that big of a deal out of it. I would have a short, honest conversation with your brother. Just tell him how important proper car seat installation is. And that in the future, if he ever needs to remove the car seat that you need to be told right away, so that you can ensure its been put back properly. And that's it.
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| Posted 9/11/13 1:56 PM |
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JDubs
different, not less
Member since 7/09 13160 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD: Carseat issue
ITA, since its your brother, i'd leave DH out of it.
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| Posted 9/11/13 1:57 PM |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
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Re: WWYD: Carseat issue
Maybe I'll be the minority, but I wouldn't be furious over this and I don't see the need for a "confrontation".
What would you want him to do about it? It's understandable why he needed to move it and you take that risk when you lend your car out. Getting the car seat re-checked is free so I'm not sure what you can do other than stop lending your car out to people.
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| Posted 9/11/13 1:58 PM |
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lynnd126
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2630 total posts
Name:
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WWYD: Carseat issue
Yeah I don't see the big deal either. Thank God there was no accident etc and move on. I would only bother if you were lending the car again. I think it's crazy for your dh to confront him.
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| Posted 9/11/13 2:08 PM |
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Eireann
Two ladies and a gentleman!
Member since 5/05 12165 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD: Carseat issue
Posted by Pomegranate5
Maybe I'll be the minority, but I wouldn't be furious over this and I don't see the need for a "confrontation".
What would you want him to do about it? It's understandable why he needed to move it and you take that risk when you lend your car out. Getting the car seat re-checked is free so I'm not sure what you can do other than stop lending your car out to people.
Same. If he needed to borrow it again I'd mention it, but otherwise I'd say nothing.
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| Posted 9/11/13 2:09 PM |
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ml110
LIF Adult
Member since 1/06 5435 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD: Carseat issue
I don't really see the need for a "confrontation". I would leave your DH out of it, and just tell your brother that you wish he had told you sooner so you could have double checked that it was put back in the right way.
I probably would have double checked it anyway when you got it back.... its all part of lending stuff out.
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| Posted 9/11/13 2:17 PM |
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nycgirl
Angels!
Member since 3/09 7721 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD: Carseat issue
I agree with above.
Tell him he should have told you...
We switch our carseats in & out of cars all the time. Not a huge deal. It really is easy.
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| Posted 9/11/13 2:27 PM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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WWYD: Carseat issue
I'd be mad, just b/c you specifically told him not to, and I assume for the past week your DD had been riding around in a potentially unsafe carseat.
I probably wouldn't make a huge issue of it, but I'd let him know if he ever borrows the car again that he absoloutely HAS TO tell you it was removed so you can verify its safety.
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| Posted 9/11/13 2:44 PM |
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jams92
Member since 1/12 6105 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD: Carseat issue
i can understand where you are coming from - but i would not get DH involved.
I would go get the car seat inspected again to make sure its in right, and then just call your brother and say you have no problem loaning him your car, but in the future he needs to tell you right away if he removes the carseat (although at this point i would end up just asking him every time he borrows the car to be safe) bc it is important it is installed right. if its not installed properly i would tell him when you got it checked it was too loose (or whatever the problem is)
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| Posted 9/11/13 2:46 PM |
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Re: WWYD: Carseat issue
Posted by nycgirl
I agree with above.
Tell him he should have told you...
We switch our carseats in & out of cars all the time. Not a huge deal. It really is easy.
Ita with this.
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| Posted 9/11/13 2:58 PM |
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janedoe
3 GIRLS!!!!
Member since 8/09 3184 total posts
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Re: WWYD: Carseat issue
Posted by Pomegranate5
Maybe I'll be the minority, but I wouldn't be furious over this and I don't see the need for a "confrontation".
What would you want him to do about it? It's understandable why he needed to move it and you take that risk when you lend your car out. Getting the car seat re-checked is free so I'm not sure what you can do other than stop lending your car out to people.
ITA
We switch our car seats out all the time. Better that he removed it than trying to shove items around it and on top of it and then breaking it.
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| Posted 9/11/13 3:04 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: WWYD: Carseat issue
I don't see the need for some big (or even small) confrontation.
If he doesn't have kids, he doesn't know that its a big deal - and to be quite honest, 'car seat installation" is bigger deal to some parents than it is to others
I woulnd't be furious at all. It was an innocent oversight b/c it's not something he knows anything about -
He DID tell you about it -
Personally I'd just reinstall it myself so I knew it was done right and move on.
IF he borrows the car again, let him know he can't move the seat, and if he DOES need to move it, to just leave it alone and let you reinstall it
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| Posted 9/11/13 3:16 PM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD: Carseat issue
Posted by Katareen
I'd be mad, just b/c you specifically told him not to, and I assume for the past week your DD had been riding around in a potentially unsafe carseat.
I probably wouldn't make a huge issue of it, but I'd let him know if he ever borrows the car again that he absoloutely HAS TO tell you it was removed so you can verify its safety.
ITA
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| Posted 9/11/13 3:59 PM |
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Kitten1929
LIF Adult
Member since 1/13 6040 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD: Carseat issue
Posted by MarisaK
I don't see the need for some big (or even small) confrontation.
If he doesn't have kids, he doesn't know that its a big deal - and to be quite honest, 'car seat installation" is bigger deal to some parents than it is to others
I woulnd't be furious at all. It was an innocent oversight b/c it's not something he knows anything about -
He DID tell you about it -
Personally I'd just reinstall it myself so I knew it was done right and move on.
IF he borrows the car again, let him know he can't move the seat, and if he DOES need to move it, to just leave it alone and let you reinstall it
I agree.
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| Posted 9/11/13 4:07 PM |
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CarSeatSafety
LIF Adolescent
Member since 3/09 689 total posts
Name:
CarSeatChris
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Re: WWYD: Carseat issue
Posted by nycgirl
I agree with above.
Tell him he should have told you...
We switch our carseats in & out of cars all the time. Not a huge deal. It really is easy.
While I do agree this should not be the basis of a family feud, I have to disagree with you in that it car seats are not made to go in and out of cars because it leads to more chances of misuse.
I would simply state that in the future if he want to borrow the car he is not to remove the seats.
Message edited 9/11/2013 6:02:30 PM.
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| Posted 9/11/13 5:57 PM |
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lynnd126
LIF Adult
Member since 3/11 2630 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD: Carseat issue
Posted by CarSeatSafety
Posted by nycgirl
I agree with above.
Tell him he should have told you...
We switch our carseats in & out of cars all the time. Not a huge deal. It really is easy.
While I do agree this should not be the basis of a family feud, I have to disagree with you in that it car seats are not made to go in and out of cars because it leads to more chances of misuse.
I would simply;y state that in the future if he want to borrow the car he is not to remove the seats.
Idk. If you know how to install it then you know how to install it. It's called carefully following the directions. I'm not going to live in fear that I can't move my car seats around. People who are careless with car seats are probably careless with a lot of other safety issues. I'm sorry, and I know I'll get flamed to hell and back but I think other thread where everyone is begging to know what seats are best for their specific model, is a little self indulgent. They are all rated/ inspected to work in cars, period.
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| Posted 9/11/13 6:10 PM |
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BlessedMomma
LIF Adult
Member since 12/11 6163 total posts
Name:
Momma Bear
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Re: WWYD: Carseat issue
Posted by Eireann
Posted by Pomegranate5
Maybe I'll be the minority, but I wouldn't be furious over this and I don't see the need for a "confrontation".
What would you want him to do about it? It's understandable why he needed to move it and you take that risk when you lend your car out. Getting the car seat re-checked is free so I'm not sure what you can do other than stop lending your car out to people.
Same. If he needed to borrow it again I'd mention it, but otherwise I'd say nothing.
Agree with this
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| Posted 9/11/13 6:17 PM |
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Melmel821
Love being a mom!
Member since 5/08 2776 total posts
Name:
Melanie
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Re: WWYD: Carseat issue
Well, we specifically asked him not to take it out. He didn't put it back in right and we didn't know. Thankfully nothing happened but what if...?
So yeah, we are annoyed and yes, DH is furious. It's a complete lack of consideration when we are helping him out.
This isn't the first car issue we've had with him. We sold him a car and he didn't register it right away, got a parking ticket. The VIN# was still linked to DH so he had to pay for a parking ticket after he received notice that if he didn't pay it in 7 days an warrant would be issued for his arrest...
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| Posted 9/12/13 6:15 PM |
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nferrandi
too excited for words
Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
Name:
Nicole
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Re: WWYD: Carseat issue
Posted by Melmel821
Well, we specifically asked him not to take it out. He didn't put it back in right and we didn't know. Thankfully nothing happened but what if...?
So yeah, we are annoyed and yes, DH is furious. It's a complete lack of consideration when we are helping him out.
This isn't the first car issue we've had with him. We sold him a car and he didn't register it right away, got a parking ticket. The VIN# was still linked to DH so he had to pay for a parking ticket after he received notice that if he didn't pay it in 7 days an warrant would be issued for his arrest...
Given this information, I can see why your annoyed. However, I can just about guarantee he just didn't realize that it was that big of a deal. At the end of the day I think you just need to not lend him your car in the future. Period. End of story.
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| Posted 9/12/13 9:01 PM |
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CarSeatSafety
LIF Adolescent
Member since 3/09 689 total posts
Name:
CarSeatChris
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Re: WWYD: Carseat issue
Posted by lynnd126
Posted by CarSeatSafety
Posted by nycgirl
I agree with above.
Tell him he should have told you...
We switch our carseats in & out of cars all the time. Not a huge deal. It really is easy.
While I do agree this should not be the basis of a family feud, I have to disagree with you in that it car seats are not made to go in and out of cars because it leads to more chances of misuse.
I would simply;y state that in the future if he want to borrow the car he is not to remove the seats.
Idk. If you know how to install it then you know how to install it. It's called carefully following the directions. I'm not going to live in fear that I can't move my car seats around. People who are careless with car seats are probably careless with a lot of other safety issues. I'm sorry, and I know I'll get flamed to hell and back but I think other thread where everyone is begging to know what seats are best for their specific model, is a little self indulgent. They are all rated/ inspected to work in cars, period.
God I wish all seats work in every car - they don't. There is only on brand of seat that goes across the board as the most likely to succeed in the majority of cars. Those people that ask for advice have had experience or difficulty.
Some cars are difficult to work with due to their seat belt configuration. Older BMW's shoulder belt are positioned as much as 6" from the seat bite (the back of the automobile seat) - what do you do then if you have a child seat whose rear opening is even with the back? The original RAV4 seat split caused child seats to fall into the crack. The GMC head rests force child seats forward and not sit properly. The Ford Pathfinder seat stalks are to high for the Evenflo line. The Jeep cannot accommodate the Cosco line rear facing. The Alpha Omega and Safety First has to remove its base before it can go rear facing. Bur in the newer models the base does not remove.
The course to train techs to learn about child seats is a week long. And even with that it takes experience before they even are successful. When do you use locking clips?
People are not indulgent to ask what works and what does not. Over 90% of car seats are installed wrong and it is not because parents do not want to do it right or that they are careless. Not all seats are compatible with all cars.
And as far as the seats being inspected they are inspected and tested on a straight, flat rear seat configuration in an open environment without a front seat present. You try to get a Safety First or a Graco MyRide 65 in a Ford Fusion.
I will not allow a concerned parent who desires the safety of their child to be "flamed". It is not carelessness to not be able to install a seat. Following the directions are not all that easy. It is however careless to comment on something that is not understood.
The mother in this original post has every right to be angry, I would not make it an issue out of it other than ask my brother not to do it again. It is not worth a family fight, but it does all come down to one fact, if some body does not wish their car seat to be removed from a borrowed car then their wishes should be honored. It is not up to another to do otherwise with something they do not own.
Message edited 9/13/2013 5:38:04 AM.
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| Posted 9/13/13 1:02 AM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD: Carseat issue
Posted by Melmel821
Well, we specifically asked him not to take it out. He didn't put it back in right and we didn't know. Thankfully nothing happened but what if...?
So yeah, we are annoyed and yes, DH is furious. It's a complete lack of consideration when we are helping him out.
This isn't the first car issue we've had with him. We sold him a car and he didn't register it right away, got a parking ticket. The VIN# was still linked to DH so he had to pay for a parking ticket after he received notice that if he didn't pay it in 7 days an warrant would be issued for his arrest...
This sounds like something my brother would do too. He's in his own little happy world.
I wouldn't say anything to him now. If I was going to, I would have said something to him when he told me he removed the seat. At this point, I would just let it go. In the future, if he wanted the car again, I would be very firm about the car seat issue. if he doesn't have kids, he probably has no clue about the importance of car seat installation and what a pain in the ass it is too.
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| Posted 9/13/13 7:28 AM |
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mnmsoinlove
Mommy to 2 sweet girls!
Member since 3/09 8585 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: WWYD: Carseat issue
Posted by Eireann
Posted by Pomegranate5
Maybe I'll be the minority, but I wouldn't be furious over this and I don't see the need for a "confrontation".
What would you want him to do about it? It's understandable why he needed to move it and you take that risk when you lend your car out. Getting the car seat re-checked is free so I'm not sure what you can do other than stop lending your car out to people.
Same. If he needed to borrow it again I'd mention it, but otherwise I'd say nothing.
same! Id reinstall the seat myself and say nothing unless he needed to borrow it again.
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| Posted 9/13/13 8:18 AM |
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