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sami
So very blessed!! Thank u !!
Member since 8/06 6524 total posts
Name:
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I'm going to vent..but please if you have something bad to
Say....don't say it....I'm pregnant and so annoyed and tired and you know how it goes...
I home alone with an almost 4 year old who is very wild..he goes to school a few days a week..my daughter is 15 months and she is very good and I'm 32 weeks pregnant I'm alone ALL day and night with them..my cousin who I'm close with she is older never had any children is retired and does not work her husband still works...anyway I get so annoyed when she does not come here and help me..that is my vent ..what does she fuc?in do all do....lol just humor me...I know she once told me it takes her 3 days to decorate her tree she is a perfectionist...I just wish she would come here more often she lives 10 min.away.....I know I know people have lives...
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Posted 12/23/11 2:12 PM  |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: I'm going to vent..but please if you have something bad to
Have you asked her to come over more?
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| Posted 12/23/11 2:14 PM |
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sami
So very blessed!! Thank u !!
Member since 8/06 6524 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm going to vent..but please if you have something bad to
Lol.....I call her all the time but we are so close she knows she does not to be invited...
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| Posted 12/23/11 2:20 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm going to vent..but please if you have something bad to
Wow - we are on the same schedule - I have an almost 4 yr old boy, 15 month old girl and i am 32 weeks pregnant also! So weird.... Anyway, I have help 4 days a week! I don't know how you are doing it. My husband works really long days and I just could not manage it alone.
Honestly though, I find that if you think that other people will be there to help you out you will only make yourself more and more disappointed. This is what happened to me with my MIL after I had my son. She had told me that she would be there whenever I needed her to be there. But when the time came she was barely there and i was pretty much on my own. I realized the only people you can really rely on are people that you pay. it's sad and very disappointing, especially if you are the type of person who goes out of their way to help others.
I would try asking your cousin for help though. You said yourself that she doesn't have kids so she has no idea how difficult things are for you right now. Maybe if you ask her for specific days to come help you she would be there more!
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| Posted 12/23/11 2:27 PM |
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Smileyd17
kids
Member since 5/05 20997 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: I'm going to vent..but please if you have something bad to
I would maybe just come out and ask.
I noticed many of my friends or family without kids, just dont think of those things....because truth is, they dont know/understand.
I also want to add that you cant expect it either.
That is the part that sets you up for dissappointment.
GL! I can relate entirely!
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| Posted 12/23/11 2:37 PM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: I'm going to vent..but please if you have something bad to
Posted by sami
Lol.....I call her all the time but we are so close she knows she does not to be invited...
It sounds like she does need to be invited though
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| Posted 12/23/11 2:39 PM |
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sami
So very blessed!! Thank u !!
Member since 8/06 6524 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm going to vent..but please if you have something bad to
Wow. Lululu that is wild ..the same age children......let's help each other.....lol!..yes I agree you can't depend on anyone but yourself...my cousin does not need the money and she would never take it ...when I give her a gift card she either takes it and buys something for my children or she will not even take it with her...I just tell come whenever you want..but who knows like my mother said people have lives.....
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| Posted 12/23/11 2:40 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: I'm going to vent..but please if you have something bad to
You have to ask for help if you need it.
you also have to understand that if no one helps. They are your kids and you cannot expect people to take care of them. But others cannot read your mind and know that you need help. I have found people are not being rude or mean they just have their own lives to live.
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| Posted 12/23/11 2:41 PM |
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Dolphinsbaby
My 3 little guys!
Member since 12/10 2943 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm going to vent..but please if you have something bad to
Posted by Smileyd17
I would maybe just come out and ask.
I noticed many of my friends or family without kids, just dont think of those things....because truth is, they dont know/understand.
I also want to add that you cant expect it either.
That is the part that sets you up for dissappointment.
GL! I can relate entirely!
Totally agree. I admit before I had my boys, I was really clueless. The first week I was home with them, I called my bf crying that I wasn't there to help her more with her 2 kids. Her DH works all the time and i stopped by sometimes to say hi, play with the kids and went on my merry way. Didn't offer to help or even just to tell her to shower or nap while i was there. Again, no clue .
She laughed and said until someone has kids, they really just don't get it.
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| Posted 12/23/11 3:59 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: I'm going to vent..but please if you have something bad to
Unless you have kids you have no idea what goes into the day to day craziness so you can't expect her to just assume that you need help.
I have two also, pregnant, and zero help too so I know how it feels. My best advice is to find a babysitter that you can have come to relieve you for a few hours a week. It will be the best money you ever spent. Even if you just go take a nap.
Message edited 12/23/2011 5:47:25 PM.
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| Posted 12/23/11 5:40 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm going to vent..but please if you have something bad to
Posted by sami
Wow. Lululu that is wild ..the same age children......let's help each other.....lol!..yes I agree you can't depend on anyone but yourself...my cousin does not need the money and she would never take it ...when I give her a gift card she either takes it and buys something for my children or she will not even take it with her...I just tell come whenever you want..but who knows like my mother said people have lives.....
When I said you can only rely on people you pay I meant like a babysitter who is unrelated. In fact, the more they need the money, the more reliable they will be. But if that isn't an option for you financially can you contact your local library and see about getting a mother's helper a couple afternoons a week after school? Even just a couple of hours to yourself to get things done or to just go in your room, shut the door and lay down for a few. You will feel like a new person!
I am seriously scared because I think about how hard it is now sometimes and I just think it's going to be a million times worse when the next baby comes. and we only have 7 weeks left....
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| Posted 12/23/11 5:49 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
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Re: I'm going to vent..but please if you have something bad to
Posted by alli3131
You have to ask for help if you need it.
you also have to understand that if no one helps. They are your kids and you cannot expect people to take care of them. But others cannot read your mind and know that you need help. I have found people are not being rude or mean they just have their own lives to live.
Ita
Your cousin doesn't know what your life is like because she just doesn't know. I'm sure she thinks you're getting along just fine because you aren't asking for help. No one can read minds. If you need help ask for it.
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| Posted 12/23/11 6:53 PM |
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MrsSx2
Finally a MOM!
Member since 11/10 2222 total posts
Name:
Valerie
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Re: I'm going to vent..but please if you have something bad to
Posted by alli3131
You have to ask for help if you need it.
you also have to understand that if no one helps. They are your kids and you cannot expect people to take care of them. But others cannot read your mind and know that you need help. I have found people are not being rude or mean they just have their own lives to live.
ITA
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| Posted 12/23/11 8:30 PM |
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kimbalina
Bring on the glitter and bows!
Member since 6/08 15158 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: I'm going to vent..but please if you have something bad to
As someone PG with their first child, I would not know that you needed the help if you didn't ask. I also wouldn't just show up. That is me but I would offer but not all the time. I am sure she has plenty to do in her own life too which you may not know either.
Just ask her and explain that you need some help.
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| Posted 12/24/11 9:22 AM |
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FergieK
Loving my girls
Member since 7/09 2533 total posts
Name:
Fergie
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Re: I'm going to vent..but please if you have something bad to
I also think you should talk to her. It may be that she finds it overwhelming and thats not always easy for someone to tell you.
I have had friends that told me pre having a LO they didnt like kids until they had one.
Its a delicate situation but i agree I will be in the same boat when DC comes along and I already know I cant count on anyone but me.
Good luck with your convo and I hope it gets easier for you. 
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| Posted 12/24/11 9:41 AM |
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