Maybe TMI for some but need some advice

Hi ladies,

I was reading an older thread about intimacy and sex during pregnancy but I really need some additional advice.

I am approx. 20 weeks and DH and I have not sex in a good 6 weeks. We have really hectic schedules; I work days and he works nights. So, even before pregnancy we generally only had sex on weekends. On Saturday I tried to jump his bones lol...and let's just say he had some technical dificulties and this has never been a problem other than when we were ttc and he found the whole planning and delivering on command thing a bit stifling. We talked..we are good at that and he said he is just really scared. He says his brain knows that it is fine and he will not hurt the baby but since I've been showing the belly is a reminder and his heart tells him something else. He was happy to engage in other activities other than intercourse.

We have an appointment with Dr. next week. Should I ask Dr. to remind him that intercourse is fine? Should I wait and bring it up again to him at home? Should I leave him laone, respect his feelings and just accept that this could mean another 20 weeks without sex? Has anyone else had this issue? Advice ladies......

Thanks so much,
Ang

Re: Maybe TMI for some but need some advice

I would bring it up in front of the doctor. Maybe he just needs to hear it from the doctor. My DH was the same way. Was worried all the time about hurting the baby until I made the doctor assure him that it was ok. Even with this, he may still be uncomfortable and you might just have to accept it. Just take matters into your own hands if you know what I mean..

Re: Maybe TMI for some but need some advice

i brought it up at our 8 week appt just so he heard it from the doctor. If he's worrying about hurting the baby, I would definitely bring it up in front of your doctor for validation. Honestly, my dh won't touch me unless I basically ask. Now that I'm showing, I just think he finds me less appealing. I know most people would say that's not true but in his case, I know him. I told him that pregnancy is enough of a blow to my self esteem without knowing that he finds me less attractive, but he still needs to be reminded so I'm just resigned to a LOT less sex.

good luck.