What to do about *new baby* getting more attention than older DC?

I have a 6 month old DS and a 2 year old DS. Last weekend when we had OOT guests, they flourished all of their attention on the new baby, while leaving my older DS by the wayside. My little guy is a DREAM (happy, will go to anyone etc) while my older one is a typical 2 year old (tantrums, more difficult personality etc). I felt so bad that my older DS seemed so disappointed that these visitors were coming to play with him when all they wanted to do was sit and hold his younger brother on their lap.

I don't know if I'm looking for advice exactly... has anyone been in this situation and what did you do about it?

Re: What to do about *new baby* getting more attention than older DC?

I have to say that for the most part, our family and friends were very aware of DS 1 and not making him feel pushed to the side. They either brought him a small gift as well or made sure to give him attention first when they came over. They really made an effort. Regardless, I still think DS knew they were really there to see his baby brother.

It is hard to watch, especially because I know I actually felt a little guilty myself when I brought home the baby I would try to plan something special for you, DH and DS to do specialy by yourselves and make sure you are giving him more attention when you can.

Re: What to do about *new baby* getting more attention than older DC?

Posted by Mommy2Boys
I would try to plan something special for you, DH and DS to do specialy by yourselves and make sure you are giving him more attention when you can.

Re: What to do about *new baby* getting more attention than older DC?

I have a 3 year old DS and an almost 4 mth old DD. When people came over to visit most people were conscious of giving DS attention. Some came with gifts for him and some did not. For the ones that did not give gifts, we always took a gift DD got and said - oh look it a book for you or found something in the bag for him - stuffed animal. We also had a few "spare" gifts in the house. They were small (around $3-$5) but things we knew he would like (bubble bath, books, cars) that we could always give to him as gifts from visitors. We always somehow sneaked them in.

In making him feel special with us, we take turns with "mommy/DS" and "daddy/DS" mornings. Its simple things like take him food shopping, going to Dunkin Donuts ect. When I give DD a bath, he is my "towel boy" he carries the towel and waits for me to finish bathing her.

He is not perfect (i.e tantrums, ect) but when it comes to DD, he has been an AMAZING big brother so DH and I are taking him to see Imagination Movers next month without DD. Knowing him, he will ask why we did not bring her.

Re: What to do about *new baby* getting more attention than older DC?

We deal with this a lot, since Ava is 4 and Chase is 9 months. I keep my eye on Ava when we have visitors or are with family and I try to encourage people to pay her special attention if they're not (and I have to say, usually it's not a problem). It's not that I force people to pay attention to her, but if a half hour has gone by and everyone's playing with the baby and no one's paying attention to her, I'll say something like, "Guess what Ava did in school today? She read a book to the class, all by herself!" and point out something special about her and everyone usually starts asking her questions and paying more attention to her.
I think it must be really hard on them to go from being the baby that everyone wants to snuggle and spend time with to the big kid who gets passed over. So I try to make sure she still gets some extra special attention, too. It's the least I can do for my girl