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Thoughts

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Bxgell2
Perfection

Member since 5/05

16438 total posts

Name:
Beth

Re: Thoughts

Oy gevult! This is insane people!!!

You know, there is a lot of research right now about the impact of technology on our children and the importance of imaginary/creative play. No one quite has the answers, but there have been recommendations by many, including the american assoc. of pediatrics to reinforce creative, free play.

Am I guilty of passing off my iphone to the kids? Yup, you betcha. Am I guilty of spending too much time on my own computer and iphone? Yup, you betcha.

BUT, I don't take this post PERSONALLY at all. I think it is very important, in fact, ESSENTIAL that we all get a reality check once in a while, instead of getting so defensive.

The OP wasn't slamming anyone, she was merely expressing her opinion on a subject that is particularly hot in the education arena these days. IT IS something we should all be talking about, discussing and thinking about, to really look deep within ourselves so that we make our own, well-educated decisions about these issues.

I'm happy, glad and grateful for these kind of posts. You know why? Because last night, DH and I agreed, no more TV/Computer/Iphones after school. We became complacent and were allowing the girls to watch some youtube videos once in a while after school. I was getting too absorbed in my own work on the computer after they went to bed, to the detriment of my relationship with DH. This served as a nice little wake-up call for me to have a nice, long talk with DH last night, set some new parameters, and discuss them with Alex.

And, as a result, Alex and I spent the most lovely evening together, playing house, for over an hour. If I had not read this post, I may very well have done something else instead, and never would have that memory and bonding time as a result.

My point - debates/disagreements shouldn't be so destructive and contentious. As long as we don't use damning language, these kind of discussion threads serve a very constructive, important purpose. We've managed to do it in the past, my hope is that we can continue to do so, so that these boards continue to educate us, and help us become better parents, however we see fit.

My two cents...

Posted 1/7/11 10:58 AM
 
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MrsA714
Baby #2 is here!

Member since 8/07

8806 total posts

Name:

Re: Thoughts

Posted by Bxgell2

The OP wasn't slamming anyone, she was merely expressing her opinion on a subject that is particularly hot in the education arena these days. IT IS something we should all be talking about, discussing and thinking about, to really look deep within ourselves so that we make our own, well-educated decisions about these issues.

My point - debates/disagreements shouldn't be so destructive and contentious. As long as we don't use damning language, these kind of discussion threads serve a very constructive, important purpose. We've managed to do it in the past, my hope is that we can continue to do so, so that these boards continue to educate us, and help us become better parents, however we see fit.

My two cents...



ITA!! Chat Icon Chat Icon

I have a hard time understanding why people take things so personally.

Posted 1/7/11 11:03 AM
 

Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)

Member since 5/06

23378 total posts

Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....

Re: Thoughts

Posted by Bxgell2

Oy gevult! ...



phrases like this make me wish I was Jewish. Chat Icon it's just a perfect perfect expression that I could NEVER pull off.

I try to pass off Oy Vey, but it feels so fraudulent! Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 1/7/11 11:08 AM
 

BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre

Member since 5/05

9320 total posts

Name:
Mrs. B

Re: Thoughts

Posted by MrsDrMatt

I am just amazed that you observed what she did and found it important enough to post here. People I do not know are not worth that much of my attention.



You've never come onto this forum or any other msg board for that matter and asked others their opinions of something you've seen happen or done?

I asked for everyones thoughts on introducing electronics to children at an early age. What is so bad about that or how does that insinuate that I called someone a bad mother?

I don't agree with the idea - its not a bad thing but I'm not turning around telling people their posts are ignorant.

Like I said before I can handle that not everyone feels the same way - I just don't appreciate having words put in my mouth and than getting flamed for them.

I'm done with defending myself against posters who are not reading my OP or the other posts I made.

I don't agree with electronics being given to kids at such a young age - I'm not a bad parent because of it. It also doesn't make those who do agree with it a bad or neglectful.

Edited for spelling

Message edited 1/7/2011 11:33:09 AM.

Posted 1/7/11 11:13 AM
 

Bxgell2
Perfection

Member since 5/05

16438 total posts

Name:
Beth

Re: Thoughts

Posted by Ophelia

Posted by Bxgell2

Oy gevult! ...



phrases like this make me wish I was Jewish. Chat Icon it's just a perfect perfect expression that I could NEVER pull off.

I try to pass off Oy Vey, but it feels so fraudulent! Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon



Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon I'm laughing hysterically over here. I don't even think twice about the expression, it's second nature for me. My second favorite one is "nudnick" Chat Icon

What's even funnier is hearing a 5 year old say "oy oy oy" Chat Icon

Posted 1/7/11 11:13 AM
 

MamaLeen
:)

Member since 10/09

4594 total posts

Name:
E

Re: Thoughts

Posted by Bxgell2
.

BUT, I don't take this post PERSONALLY at all. I think it is very important, in fact, ESSENTIAL that we all get a reality check once in a while, instead of getting so defensive.
QUOTE]

Yes, ITA. People need to stop internalizing everything, it is not always about you. It was a simple post, someone stating THEIR thoughts. Move on if it is so offensive to you. Sorry JMO.

Posted 1/7/11 11:24 AM
 

jellybean78
:)

Member since 8/06

13102 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: Thoughts

Posted by Bxgell2

Oy gevult! This is insane people!!!

You know, there is a lot of research right now about the impact of technology on our children and the importance of imaginary/creative play. No one quite has the answers, but there have been recommendations by many, including the american assoc. of pediatrics to reinforce creative, free play.

Am I guilty of passing off my iphone to the kids? Yup, you betcha. Am I guilty of spending too much time on my own computer and iphone? Yup, you betcha.

BUT, I don't take this post PERSONALLY at all. I think it is very important, in fact, ESSENTIAL that we all get a reality check once in a while, instead of getting so defensive.

The OP wasn't slamming anyone, she was merely expressing her opinion on a subject that is particularly hot in the education arena these days. IT IS something we should all be talking about, discussing and thinking about, to really look deep within ourselves so that we make our own, well-educated decisions about these issues.

I'm happy, glad and grateful for these kind of posts. You know why? Because last night, DH and I agreed, no more TV/Computer/Iphones after school. We became complacent and were allowing the girls to watch some youtube videos once in a while after school. I was getting too absorbed in my own work on the computer after they went to bed, to the detriment of my relationship with DH. This served as a nice little wake-up call for me to have a nice, long talk with DH last night, set some new parameters, and discuss them with Alex.

And, as a result, Alex and I spent the most lovely evening together, playing house, for over an hour. If I had not read this post, I may very well have done something else instead, and never would have that memory and bonding time as a result.

My point - debates/disagreements shouldn't be so destructive and contentious. As long as we don't use damning language, these kind of discussion threads serve a very constructive, important purpose. We've managed to do it in the past, my hope is that we can continue to do so, so that these boards continue to educate us, and help us become better parents, however we see fit.

My two cents...



Beautifully worded. I totally agree with you.

Posted 1/7/11 11:29 AM
 

nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.

Member since 7/05

57538 total posts

Name:

Re: Thoughts

Posted by leighla

I'm confident in my decisions, but I also feel sometimes that people need to be shown the other side of the argument to think "Huh, maybe I was being judgmental, I didn't think of that point of view."

To me, that's the beauty of the boards when done nicely.

-edited-

And that's what soliciting thoughts is about - getting everyone's thoughts, not just those who agree with you.



I completely agree with you!

For all we know the OP read the posts & said "Oh I didn't think about the germs in the office with the common toy area... yeah I'd rather have her play with the iPad."

I do believe that technology is both a blessing & a curse. It connects people (hello LIF!), allows access to information in a way that we've never had before. I also think that a constant need to keep our children entertained is a disservice. That kids do need to be bored & figure out their own way to entertain themselves outside of a screen.

BUT a glimpse into someone's life in a doctor's office isn't enough time to determine a crappy parent.

Posted 1/7/11 11:53 AM
 

MrsDrMatt
Live and RUN like a Ninja!

Member since 5/06

3104 total posts

Name:
MrsDrMatt

Re: Thoughts

Posted by BriBri2u

Posted by MrsDrMatt

I am just amazed that you observed what she did and found it important enough to post here. People I do not know are not worth that much of my attention.



You've never come onto this forum or any other msg board for that matter and asked others their opinions of something you've seen happen or done?

I asked for everyones thoughts on introducing electronics to children at an early age. What is so bad about that or how does that insinuate that I called someone a bad mother?

I don't agree with the idea - its not a bad thing but I'm not turning around telling people their posts are ignorant.

Like I said before I can handle that not everyone feels the same way - I just don't appreciate having words put in my mouth and than getting flamed for them.

I'm done with defending myself against posters who are not reading my OP or the other posts I made.

I don't agree with electronics being given to kids at such a young age - I'm not a bad parent because of it. It also doesn't make those who do agree with it a bad or neglectful.

Edited for spelling




Actually I ahve never come on this forum to ask opinions on others or what I have seen from others. Not worth my time. It's their life, I have my own life to lead.

Posted 1/7/11 11:57 AM
 

gottaluvmusik
Just the 4 of us

Member since 12/06

3554 total posts

Name:
Andrea

Re: Thoughts

I certainly know i am guilty of giving Cadi my iphone with her fav games and shows on it. Especially in a dr office i would do it. You never know if the mother on the phone had business she needed to attend to or even if she was on her facebook maybe she needed a minute to herself and that was how she was going to get it. Can't assume anything.

Posted 1/7/11 12:56 PM
 

beachgirl
LIF Adult

Member since 7/05

7967 total posts

Name:
sara

Re: Thoughts

I haven't read all the posts but judging by beths comments there as been some sort of "drama".

I agree that technology is part and parcel of the world we live in now but it its overused.

I know a parent who picks her 5 year old up from school then drives less than one mile to pick her 3 year old up from preschool and the DVD player is on EVERY day. Her 5 year old will not lift her head to speak if I say hello. Not good IMO.

I also know parents who buy DS / Leapfrog/ whatever handheld it is so they will keep their kids entertained and out of their hair and the kids are glued to these systems ALLLLLLL day long. I know because they have taken them over here for playdates and wonder why my 4 year old does not have one and what else will they play with for an hour if not these toys.

We just need to be aware of the fine line that runs between keeping our kids up with the techno world we live in now and overuse of the same equipment.

One other thing I dont think the OP was necessarily judging the other parent, more like observing, thinking about it and throwing it out here for what should have been a healthy discussion.

Posted 1/7/11 1:14 PM
 

karjules
Love my Jules :)

Member since 1/07

2056 total posts

Name:
Karen

Re: Thoughts

Um sorry I feel it was ignorant because as many PP explained, you have no idea how long the Mom spent her day interacting with her DC, or what the other circumstances were. That was ignorant. Still feel the same way and sorry you dont Chat Icon

Posted 1/7/11 4:04 PM
 

Momma2Be
Mommy of an angel

Member since 10/09

5911 total posts

Name:
Dina

Re: Thoughts

Posted by jacquig

Posted by Bxgell2

Oy gevult! This is insane people!!!

You know, there is a lot of research right now about the impact of technology on our children and the importance of imaginary/creative play. No one quite has the answers, but there have been recommendations by many, including the american assoc. of pediatrics to reinforce creative, free play.

Am I guilty of passing off my iphone to the kids? Yup, you betcha. Am I guilty of spending too much time on my own computer and iphone? Yup, you betcha.

BUT, I don't take this post PERSONALLY at all. I think it is very important, in fact, ESSENTIAL that we all get a reality check once in a while, instead of getting so defensive.

The OP wasn't slamming anyone, she was merely expressing her opinion on a subject that is particularly hot in the education arena these days. IT IS something we should all be talking about, discussing and thinking about, to really look deep within ourselves so that we make our own, well-educated decisions about these issues.

I'm happy, glad and grateful for these kind of posts. You know why? Because last night, DH and I agreed, no more TV/Computer/Iphones after school. We became complacent and were allowing the girls to watch some youtube videos once in a while after school. I was getting too absorbed in my own work on the computer after they went to bed, to the detriment of my relationship with DH. This served as a nice little wake-up call for me to have a nice, long talk with DH last night, set some new parameters, and discuss them with Alex.

And, as a result, Alex and I spent the most lovely evening together, playing house, for over an hour. If I had not read this post, I may very well have done something else instead, and never would have that memory and bonding time as a result.

My point - debates/disagreements shouldn't be so destructive and contentious. As long as we don't use damning language, these kind of discussion threads serve a very constructive, important purpose. We've managed to do it in the past, my hope is that we can continue to do so, so that these boards continue to educate us, and help us become better parents, however we see fit.

My two cents...



Beautifully worded. I totally agree with you.



Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 1/7/11 4:19 PM
 

jxnoscar
Baby Delicious!

Member since 8/06

4156 total posts

Name:
Nancy

Re: Thoughts

Posted by leighla

I would be that mom.

Like Barb said, I would probably be answering emails and "working" from home in order to take Logan to the doctor. If I don't respond quickly I don't get to do that anymore.

Logan loves his Nintendo DS. When we are doing something particularly odious like waiting at the DMV or doctor's office or a long wait in a restaurant he gets to play with it.

He plays with it in the mornings while I get ready for work.

BUT he also knows that it is a privilege and it gets taken away if he doesn't behave.

AND I make sure he also knows how to wait patiently and interact socially so that it doesn't become his crutch.

We engage in a lot of creative play, running around, pretending to be pirates, wrestling, hiding, dancing.

I don't think a 10 minute snippet of seeing someone in a doctor's waiting room really tells you much.



I am that mom. Was at the Dr office Monday. I gave my 1yr old my phone to play with and I was answering emails for work on my Ipad. It was a MUCH better solution than him playing with the germ infested toys in the waiting room. And like the poster above me said-if I don't respond to work emails in real time, I risk losing the privlege of taking Ethan anywhere during the week.

As for him and electroncs--obviously he is too young, but he loves looking at pictures of my family on the ipad. He can even browse through them with his fingerChat Icon
If it makes him happy for 5-10 minutes so I can get stuff done, so be it.

Posted 1/7/11 4:21 PM
 

foreverinmyheart
LIF Adolescent

Member since 1/09

776 total posts

Name:
Audrey

Re: Thoughts

Posted by leighla

Posted by BriBri2u

This is what bothered me the most - the fact that she just handed it to her and went about her business. I think its nice to see parents interacting with their children instead of worrying about their tweets.




How do you know they hadn't been playing for 3 hours before that?

How do you know that it wasn't a reward for something?

How much attention were you paying to this other woman instead of to your own kid that you know EXACTLY what she was doing on her phone.

There are so many variables here. I just hate to lambast some woman for the small portion of time you saw her.

But I guess that's what we do, isn't it?




My thoughts Exactly.

Posted 1/7/11 4:56 PM
 

MissJones
I need a nap!

Member since 5/05

22130 total posts

Name:

Re: Thoughts

Honestly, THIS is the kind of thread that makes me scared to come over from pregnancy! Chat Icon

To the OP, I'm not a mom (yet) but I am kind of old fashioned in my viewpoints and totally see where you are coming from.

To the moms who ARE in favor of bringing technology into the lives of their children, so be it. That is entirely your choice.

But the OP was looking to see if anyone else agreed with her. She was looking for opinions.

And then, of course, the claws come out. The snarkiness just pours out. Why??? That's how this forum loses some insightful people. Can't people just give opinions and move on?

And now, because of this post, I'm sure I will NOT be welcome here with open arms in 4 months!

Message edited 1/7/2011 5:01:44 PM.

Posted 1/7/11 5:00 PM
 

maymama
my little loves

Member since 8/08

18453 total posts

Name:

Re: Thoughts

Posted by Superkat

My husband has an iPad, I have an iPad and my 2 year old has his OWN iPad. So there Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon




what about your 3.5 months old? Chat Icon Chat Icon favoritism? Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 1/7/11 5:18 PM
 

2boys1girl
and one more girl on the way!

Member since 5/10

2954 total posts

Name:
D

Re: Thoughts

That is why I said this:

I believe that everyday in everyday situations us as mothers judge other peoples choices, parenting skills, decisions etc..
We just happen to not say it out loud but when we finally see it out in the open whether in black in white or from the mouth of another mother we are all of a sudden shocked like "how dare she?" blah blah blah etc. etc. etc.

IMO nobody's hands are ever clean...its done here everyday on these boards to each other. Its done everytime you open a magazine, walk through the grocery store, and yes like the OP sit in the doctors waiting room...Its human nature to judge just not everybody has the kahunas to speak their mind about it afterwards.


And would now like to add AGAINChat Icon

Posted 1/7/11 5:19 PM
 

cjik
Welcome 2010!

Member since 2/06

8879 total posts

Name:

Re: Thoughts

Okay, I am not against technology for children in moderation. My son is 3, and really hasn't used computers or my I-touch much at all, but that's my choice. He's happy with toys and crafts at the moment, and I'd rather he play with them now, and develop fine motor skills, imagination, etc. He also has some issues with socialization and play, and I think it's important that he spend time learning to take turns, play with others, etc. But that's me and my kid.

We went out to eat New Year's Day and brought DSs sticker book--he's obsessed with stickers at the moment, and he spent a good hour arranging them in his book. Did DH or I interact with him? No, honestly this was one of the first meals out we had in months that was not a struggle, and we enjoyed being able to eat our food and talk to the other adults while he was occupeid. Not technology, but he was on his own for a bit. I don't think this is a bad thing--he gets lots of interaction from us and at his daycare.

It doesn't sound like she's a bad Mom. 2 year olds be difficult--I've had days when I've had major struggles just getting DS to leave the house, and when that happens, I frankly need to relax at some point, so who knows, maybe getting to the doctor was nuts and she needs a few minutes of quiet.

I don't disagree with the OP--I get what you are saying completely, but there are so many possibilities, and the longer I have been a Mom, the more I have learned to never say never.

Posted 1/7/11 6:40 PM
 

KennysMommy
Never knew LOVE like it before

Member since 3/10

2640 total posts

Name:
Danielle

Re: Thoughts

Posted by BethanyLynn

I agree..only with the part that the mother wasnt watching her child.

Computers are the new age, and there are some educational games that can be played. My 3 yr old nephew can manuever around a computer better than I can. I think its great. Moderation is key with everything. Computers, video games etc



Agreed. At least the mother should have interacted with her child.

Posted 1/7/11 6:53 PM
 

Superkat
More a stranger than a friend

Member since 5/06

9730 total posts

Name:
K

Re: Thoughts

Posted by maymama

Posted by Superkat

My husband has an iPad, I have an iPad and my 2 year old has his OWN iPad. So there Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon




what about your 3.5 months old? Chat Icon Chat Icon favoritism? Chat Icon Chat Icon



Poor little guy is getting the short end of the stick Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 1/7/11 6:57 PM
 

pickles16
Real Estate Professional

Member since 11/07

17227 total posts

Name:
Jen

Re: Thoughts

Posted by Ophelia

Posted by Bxgell2

Oy gevult! ...



phrases like this make me wish I was Jewish. Chat Icon it's just a perfect perfect expression that I could NEVER pull off.

I try to pass off Oy Vey, but it feels so fraudulent! Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon



LMAO!!!!

Posted 1/7/11 7:10 PM
 

hope07
LIF Adult

Member since 12/06

1050 total posts

Name:

Re: Thoughts

I too hate all "video games" and computers and iphones being used by kids (especially young ones). THere are Hundreds of better things to occupy a child's mind. I think these technologies replace and devalue interactions with people sometimes.
OP... I agree =)

ETA
Bxgell2... you make an EXCELLENT point about making a great connection with your child instead of using technology to occupy him!

Message edited 1/7/2011 9:10:54 PM.

Posted 1/7/11 8:30 PM
 

waiting4ablessing
Love my kids!!

Member since 11/08

4351 total posts

Name:

Re: Thoughts

my nephew plays with my sisters IPAD frequently but shes downloaded apps for him that are educational and fun. hes very good at using it at barely 4 years old. i for one dont see anything wrong with it as long as kids arent watching mindless entertainment. and for the mom, i cant really judge. what if she works 15 hour days and this was her first spare minute to check her Iphone? The wait at the drs office can be very long and I bring things to entertain DS and once hes entertained and happy i dont feel guilty at all answering a few text messages.

You honestly cant judge without knowing 100% of the facts.

Posted 1/7/11 8:37 PM
 

JennyPenny
?

Member since 1/08

12702 total posts

Name:
Jen

Re: Thoughts

That probably wouldn't bother me at all. One thing I can't stand is when I see a kid walking through the stores with his/her face in a handheld video game device and practically walking into everything and everyone because he's not paying attention.

I know that I would never buy my young child any kind of techy stuff like an iphone or ipad or whatever. Me and DH have regular, dare I say, 'old school' cell phones ourselves. I don't see the necessity of children having them. I honestly am shocked when I read things like people buying their 3 year old an ipad. Not that I think it's a bad thing...it just surprises me.

Posted 1/7/11 8:57 PM
 
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