DH and BD'ing

Some months are much better than others, but does anyone else's DH sometimes get annoyed when you say to them you have to BD that night or you have to keep asking them to come to bed? Maybe they get annoyed in other ways? I was just wondering if it was just me.

Like I said though, some months we are having so much fun with BD'ing, but then the next month it's like pulling teeth sometimes to get him to BD.

I can't keep that time of month a secret from him, because honestly he knows when I'm Ovulating because no, we don't BD 4-5 nights in a row any other time of the month. I don't ask him that many times in a row. We have 2 kids already and I'm tired by the time he goes to bed, so it's definitely not as often as I'd like to.

He says he feels like I'm just using him for his sperm and that why don't I want him any other time of the month? It's so not true, but I will admit, I don't put as much effort into BD as I would during O time.

Any suggestions to keep up with BD during the rest of the month so he doesn't feel used!

It also doesn't help that he doesn't come to bed until 1:30-2:00am.

Re: DH and BD'ing

oh man, first off
my DH is out of work right now so he likes to go to bed late too. i am soooooooo tired at work today bc we were up til 1am BDing. this is only our 2nd month ttc so he is enjoying it. Before TTC, we would have s e x MAYBE once a month bc we're so tired by bedtime that we're both not in the mood.

This month, I put up a calendar in our kitchen and wrote "BD" on all the days that we have to. DH asks me "do we BD tonight?" haha YES he says "BD" lol. I don't even think he knows what it means hahahaha. It's weird, like that kinda gives us motivation to have s e x.

I don't know why ur DH thinks that ur "using him" for his sperm. Did you tell him it's for OUR baby? Could he have just had an off night? or has he been feeling this way for a while?

Maybe you could pick a night of the week (say Wednesday) and say this is our sexy night. Always no matter what have sexy night on Wednesdays. This way he will feel he's gettin lovin all month long, not just around O. Obviously the week you O u'll BD more than just Wednesday. KWIM??

Re: DH and BD'ing

My DH used to complain that I was using him for his swimmies. Then I got a BFP and he was even happier than I was, after the miscarriage we were both upset and now he is so gung-ho about BDing whenever I want.

The other day I tried to explain the whole EWCM and Oing around that time and he said to me "ok when you see the egg whites, let me know and we'll get to business" I was cracking up.

Just hang in there, it can be very frustrating and exhausting, I guess try to be as sexy about it as possible so he doesn't see it as a job.

Re: DH and BD'ing

oooo I feel you on this one! Dh has actually referred to himself as "the sperm donor" on a couple of occasions- sometimes it gets to be too much for either of us

Re: DH and BD'ing

He also has said in the past that, "He's here to make his deposit!"

He's told me that he doesn't care about BD that many times during O, he's definitely with me on having another baby, he would just like it if I would show that I want him other times of the month. That's so not true. He just likes to stay up late doing things, that by the time he comes to bed, or if I stay up waiting for him, it's after 2:00am!!! So when it is BD'ing time, we Bd after 1:00am every night and I go into work exhausted everyday. He just can't seem to get to bed early.

Message edited 3/2/2010 4:13:39 PM.

Re: DH and BD'ing

yeah, i hear you on this. sometimes its totally fine and then other times its like pulling teeth. and i dont know what to do because if i call him on it i know it will just trigger a fight and thats not going to get us any closer to BDing. but at the same time its hard to pretend im not annoyed at him for not being as into it as i am. add in all those irrational feelings of well why DOESNT he want to BD (despite the fact that we have for the past 3 nights and hes worked a 12 hour day) and it gets to be REAL fun
what does help though is hearing that we're not the only ones who run into these issues. thats why this board is so great!