Anyone not get along with their MIL?

MIL and I don't get along. She lives out of state so for the most part, we are civil during holidays even though we don't like one another.

DH mentioned MIL can come stay with us for a few weeks when the baby is born. The absolute last thing I want is for her to come and help me while DH is at work. Being a new mom is stressful enough without MIL drama.

Re: Anyone not get along with their MIL?

I get along w/ my MIL and I wouldn't want her up my tush for an entire week - Especially when you're a new Mom and trying to figure out what the hell you're doing !!!

Nip that one in the bud NOW -
My BFF called me every single day hysterically crying from the SHOWER b/c it was the ONLY time she could escape the wrath of her MIL b/c he DH insisted she come and stay with them for a week to "help" ........She didn't do a damn thing but make my friend miserable, second guess everything she did (which she was of course already nervous being a new mom) and make double the work for her . -

I truly wish you lots of luck with this hurdle, but seriously, stand your ground. - Tell him she can come for a long weekend or something - but a few WEEKS????? totally unnecessary -

Re: Anyone not get along with their MIL?

mil drama here too!
my mil wanted to do a separate baby shower and my mom didnt like that idea and they got into an arguement and she has been cold to me ever since the incident.
i have seen her twice, and twice she walked out of the room...
coincidence? i think not

Re: Anyone not get along with their MIL?

I get along with my MIL fine, and the also live out of town - I made it clear to DH that I do not want them staying with us when the babies come. I am fine with them coming down, but I will not be able to handle having them at my house 24/7 and dealing with two new babies.

Re: Anyone not get along with their MIL?

i get along with mine. i would love the extra help.

Re: Anyone not get along with their MIL?

My MIL lives close to us, so her staying with us would not be necessary, but if she didn't I definitely wouldn't wnt her to stay with us. I am looking forward to having just myself, DH and the baby...we all have a lot to adjust to without adding mil drama on top of it!

Re: Anyone not get along with their MIL?

I do not get along with my MIL. DH wants her to come stay for a few days as well. I don't know how I'm going to get out of this, because I DO want MY mom to stay, so how can I say no to his?

Re: Anyone not get along with their MIL?

Re: Anyone not get along with their MIL?

I get along with mine, but there is a problem that I can't stand dealing with. She's a nurse and DH is a huge mama's boy and she "suggests" things that she knows DH will take as the word of Mother Theresa herself, which I don't appreciate bc she knows her son will take her suggestions and run with them which bothers me to no end, bc I want to raise my child the way I want to not the way she thinks is right...Case and point, we're in the car one day and she goes, I hope you don't plan on giving the baby a bottle in the car, she could choke...UM THANKS, but I'll make that call...so she may come stay with us for a week, but I'm hoping she won't "suggest" her ways onto me...

Re: Anyone not get along with their MIL?

I get along great with mine. She will come down when we have the baby AFTER my mom leaves. She will stay ina hotel (by her own choice, not to be on top of us) that is fantastic with me. I basically have made myself clear on how I am going to reaise MY child with her and my mother. I dont see any problems.

Re: Anyone not get along with their MIL?

Posted by JennZ

I get along great with mine. She will come down when we have the baby AFTER my mom leaves. She will stay ina hotel (by her own choice, not to be on top of us) that is fantastic with me. I basically have made myself clear on how I am going to reaise MY child with her and my mother. I dont see any problems.

Re: Anyone not get along with their MIL?

Am I really just a beyotch? I just do not understand the need for MIL's to plant themselves in our home to 'help' ..........ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT for WEEKS at a time????

WHY the hell would I want you there for that long ?????

I know I'm overly independent by nature, but really, am I THAT much of a moron that I won't be able to figure out how to take care of my baby that I'm going to NEED you there CONSTANTLY ???

And honestly, if I want anyone's help it's going to be my OWN mother !! -

I don't know, I guess everyone is different, but that would just annoy the hell out of me ........having someone besides my DH at my house with me all day and all night? Go HOME !!!


Oooofa - I am quiet the cranky beast today arent' I ?????

Re: Anyone not get along with their MIL?

I have the opposite problem... I don't get along with my mother!! My MIL is fabulous. Luckily, my mom lives out of state so I don't see her that much and to be honest, I am not looking forward to her visit in Dec. I had to tell her that I don't want anyone visiting me during the first two weeks after me and the baby are home. And I also had to tell her that she cannot stay in my home. My dear aunt [my mom's sister] lives about 15 minutes away so she will be staying with her when she does visit. I am so stressed out and angry when I am around my mom... it will be quite a test for me to relax when she comes to visit.

Re: Anyone not get along with their MIL?

Posted by MarisaK

Am I really just a beyotch? I just do not understand the need for MIL's to plant themselves in our home to 'help' ..........ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT for WEEKS at a time????

WHY the hell would I want you there for that long ?????

I know I'm overly independent by nature, but really, am I THAT much of a moron that I won't be able to figure out how to take care of my baby that I'm going to NEED you there CONSTANTLY ???

And honestly, if I want anyone's help it's going to be my OWN mother !! -

I don't know, I guess everyone is different, but that would just annoy the hell out of me ........having someone besides my DH at my house with me all day and all night? Go HOME !!!


Oooofa - I am quiet the cranky beast today arent' I ?????

Re: Anyone not get along with their MIL?

Posted by JennZ

Posted by MarisaK

Am I really just a beyotch? I just do not understand the need for MIL's to plant themselves in our home to 'help' ..........ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT for WEEKS at a time????

WHY the hell would I want you there for that long ?????

I know I'm overly independent by nature, but really, am I THAT much of a moron that I won't be able to figure out how to take care of my baby that I'm going to NEED you there CONSTANTLY ???

And honestly, if I want anyone's help it's going to be my OWN mother !! -

I don't know, I guess everyone is different, but that would just annoy the hell out of me ........having someone besides my DH at my house with me all day and all night? Go HOME !!!


Oooofa - I am quiet the cranky beast today arent' I ?????

Oh I TOTALLY Agree. My mom is one thing and I think even after a week with her I will be done. I can not imagine MIL packing up and basically moving in with us for a few weeks. I would be drunk all the time. Screw that.

Re: Anyone not get along with their MIL?

Posted by pickles16

Posted by JennZ

Posted by MarisaK

Am I really just a beyotch? I just do not understand the need for MIL's to plant themselves in our home to 'help' ..........ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT for WEEKS at a time????

WHY the hell would I want you there for that long ?????

I know I'm overly independent by nature, but really, am I THAT much of a moron that I won't be able to figure out how to take care of my baby that I'm going to NEED you there CONSTANTLY ???

And honestly, if I want anyone's help it's going to be my OWN mother !! -

I don't know, I guess everyone is different, but that would just annoy the hell out of me ........having someone besides my DH at my house with me all day and all night? Go HOME !!!


Oooofa - I am quiet the cranky beast today arent' I ?????

Oh I TOTALLY Agree. My mom is one thing and I think even after a week with her I will be done. I can not imagine MIL packing up and basically moving in with us for a few weeks. I would be drunk all the time. Screw that.

I couldn't have put it better myself!!!!!!!!!

Re: Anyone not get along with their MIL?

I hear you all on the MIL thing but don't you think they deserve to share this time too? It is their sons baby as well. I am having twins and live OOS-my Mom will come see me when they are born for a couple of days but being as she is not very well physically(bad back etc) she will only stay for those 2 days. My MIL and FIL will probably come down too for a couple of days. They also want to come for Christmas which will probably be about 2 weeks after that.

The only thing I am really concerned about it privacy when breast feeding but I guess I can go into my DH's office which is in the next room from the LR.

Re: Anyone not get along with their MIL?

I have had a lot of issues with mine over the years and there is absolutley no way I would allow mine to stay here an entire day let alone a week or 2. My dh doesnt understand why I allow myself to "suffer" when she can help. He doesn't get it will do more harm than good

Re: Anyone not get along with their MIL?

I get along with mine just fine but I wouldn't want anyone staying with me during that time.

Re: Anyone not get along with their MIL?

point blank, the MIL should probably expect that she will be closer to her daughters babies then her sons..i know this sounds harsh, but its how it is UNLESS there are EXTREMELY good circumstances..

i actually wouldnt even want my own mother there for a week lol...but, i do remember my DS was very miserable, and i slept at HER house for a few nites after we came home because i suffered with terrible post pardum depression and i was having a really hard time adjusting..
it didnt make it any easier to be honest, when youre overwhelmed, sometimes having someone "show you the way" makes you feel alil stupid.., ok well it makes me feel alil stupid..
im more one of those, id rather figure it out for myself kinda girls, i usually dont ask for help with anything.

Re: Anyone not get along with their MIL?

mmmm, the joys of 1 BR apartment living.... no space for anyone to sleep over ESPECIALLY not with a new baby

any visitors will have to be day trippers... so everyone will be in low doses. I don't have a particular problem with the IL's anymore (although they do occassionally rub me the wrong way, ex. that lovely baby name conversation earlier this week), but I wouldn't want anyone, no matter how close they are, to live 24/7 with us then. it's too stressful!

Re: Anyone not get along with their MIL?

Re: Anyone not get along with their MIL?

Posted by MarisaK

Am I really just a beyotch? I just do not understand the need for MIL's to plant themselves in our home to 'help' ..........ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT for WEEKS at a time????

WHY the hell would I want you there for that long ?????

I know I'm overly independent by nature, but really, am I THAT much of a moron that I won't be able to figure out how to take care of my baby that I'm going to NEED you there CONSTANTLY ???

And honestly, if I want anyone's help it's going to be my OWN mother !! -

I don't know, I guess everyone is different, but that would just annoy the hell out of me ........having someone besides my DH at my house with me all day and all night? Go HOME !!!


Oooofa - I am quiet the cranky beast today arent' I ?????

Re: Anyone not get along with their MIL?

OMG, no way. When your baby is born is the last time you would want someone you don't mesh well with to be there 24-7. Your dh was out of line to suggest this, he's gonna have to take it back.

My ILs suggested staying in a hotel near us to "help" when baby is born. As if when DH is at work I would want be with them. I am sure when my baby is born the FIRST thing I want is space from ANYONE who might try to take control of my new child and they are number 1 on that list. I don't even buy the help is for ME, it's more for THEM. My FIL is pretty old and not in good shape so he really would have no way to truly "help" me, it would only a source of stress for SURE. So I told them, "Thank you for the offer but we will be fine I am sure, we won't be needing that thanks." Like I want someone telling me "DO THIS< I DID THIS. DO THAT, I'm the expert b/c I had kids 30+ years ago." I have also heard that many of our moms are often the worst culprits of not doing what drs suggest nowadays (such as no stomach sleeping) b/c they are so adamant about what they did when we were younger. NO DICE, that would be the furthest from helpful, someone disputing what I want and telling me what THEY did. No "help" for me, thanks.

Message edited 9/18/2008 7:45:34 PM.

Re: Anyone not get along with their MIL?

Message edited 9/18/2008 7:37:08 PM.