Freddy update-again.and again-once more

Things have been hard on mom and dad. Fred won't bathe, he refuses to go out and is refusing to see doctors..

We are calling in a neuropsychologist to come into the house for an assessment.

he is ramping up on meds that should help his depression..but he's not at therapeutic levels yet. It takes time.

I hear it takes a ton of time for a brain injured person to actually accept that things are different and that they need help. he won't accept any help, home health care aide, social worker, doctor..etc..He won't wear his very cool and egronomic new prosthesis.

I don't want to speculate about what's next, but it's not a happy situation at the moment.

I do know that if we try everything we can, I will be at peace with whatever comes our way.


Update: Dad went food shopping. He was bringing the bags into the house 6 at a time (go dad..not bad for 76 years old)..and went out to get more out of the car..

when he came back with more bags, the bags he had just brought in were gone. he asked my mother about the bags and she told him that Fred put the bags on his lap while in the wheelchair and brought them into the kitchen and unloaded them. Dad also says he's a bit different.

He was just increased on one of his mood meds to the therapuetic dose..had to ramp up slowly..maybe, just maybe we are seeing some light? Also, he was out of his bed all day too..usually he stays in bed most of the day.

Message edited 3/2/2008 9:34:07 AM.

Re: Freddy update

Re: Freddy update

Susan I'm so sorry.
Many that he gets the mental help he needs soon and things start to turn around for him and the rest of your family.
I can't imagine the toll this is taking on everyone involved.

Message edited 2/21/2008 12:54:46 PM.

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i am so sorry. it seemed like he was doing so much better.

stay strong - it WILL get better.

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I hope he starts to come around soon.

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Susan, I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope that things get better soon and that the neuropsychologist has some good suggestions about how to intervene with him.

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I'm shocked that the doctor will actually come to the house. I was pleasantly surprised.

He was recommended by someone I spoke to at the Long Island Head Injury Association.

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I am so sorry

I never saw my father mourn. The people at St. Johnland told me he would have shown everyone else in the world before he mourned in front of me.

It truly is like a death. The go through all of the stages that Elizabeth Kubler Ross outlined. There is a tremendous amount of mourning for the "old them" and their old abilities

I am so sorry Freddy is having this difficulty. Even though I saw my dad go through it, I still can not fathom how I would be if I had such a devistating brain injury and subsequent physical disability that my father and Freddy have both experienced.

This must be so incredibly painful and emotionally exhausting on all involved

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Yes, and he is not accepting therapy..the social worker comes to the house and he fights her..doesn't want her to come..she's good with him though.

I just have the feeling that Fred will have to go to a facility of some sort.

We are getting him on medicaid. The application is being submitted soon.

It's just heartbreaking. My parents are devastated and I feel helpless. I've done so much for him and it seems for nothing.

If he has no quality of life, what good is it?

I just want to shake him and tell him to snap out of it. I tell him I love him all the time. I tell him, I know this s u c ks but we are trying to do everything to get him back.

He is so depressed. He may need some inpatient psych treatment.

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i am so sorry to hear this. i have been wondering how things were going since i hadn't seen a post in awhile.

everything you have done for your brother is just amazing. you are a wonderful sister and human being ... and truly an inspiration. i hope you are able to do what you said in your post and take some comfort in the fact that you have done absolutely everything possible to help.

i also hope that things get better for freddy and for all of you. i will keep your family in my prayers.

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i hope things get better, you are an amazing sister

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Good luck. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

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I'm sorry Susan, he's lucky to have a very loving and supportive family.

I hope he starts to turn himself around.

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he's not much better. He still won't bathe!!! UGH!!!! It's killing mom and dad.

I don't know what to do.

Hopefully soon the meds will take effect and the doctor will have some words of wisdom.

he doesn't want to live there. He keeps saying he wants to go to a nursing home...he's out of his mind.

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I'm so sorry you and your family are dealing with this. You are all in my prayers.

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I am sorry to hear that things haven't gotten better. I hope the weekend brought some improvement!

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today the attorney's office is visiting to get a new POA signed so we can set up a trust for medicaid.

he was refusing to sign the POA. It took my dad all of his genius and fortitude to explain it to him, how the trust will protect his income while providing him with services his insurance company won't cover.

it's not getting any easier.

The doctor is coming tomorrow to do an evaluation. I hope we can get some ideas on how to help him.

I spoke to another doctor today who works with St. Charles (rehab) and he said he would analyze him as well, if we can get him there. He also said, that if he needs to go inpatient again, we can try to arrange it there. He may need that, but he is being so oppositional.

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sorry to hear it isn't getting any better!
i hope the doctor's eval goes well and that he has some good suggestions to offer your family!!!!!!!!!

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the doc spoke to my parents last night. He wants to do a full eval on Fred. Of course, in his office and Fred won't go. Maybe I could get him to go.

The doc suggested we get him on medicaid which is a special kind that allows him to stay in the home and get home based services. He is resistant to anyone coming in the home, he doesn't feel he has a problem..that is the brain injury talking. He does know however, that there is something wrong. I think he needs an intervention. Maybe I should video tape it so when he forgets we can play it over for him.

We signed the special needs trust last night to protect his income for community medicaid..that's a good step. I brought him a nice sandwich from a local Italian Deli that he likes and the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated.

Last night he mentioned to my dad that the shower bench is tilted out and when you run the shower the water gets on the floor. Maybe that was bugging him? So dad will fix it today. Maybe Fred will take a shower? I can only hope..it's getting awfully stinky in there.

The company that made his new prosthesis has waived the co-pay of $2500 for the leg. the insurance company reimbursed 80% and we were going to have medicaid pick it up when he was approved. They know what we are going through and decided to do this. They are so wonderful. We are sending them something nice to thank them.

Message edited 2/27/2008 1:21:12 PM.