Mom life

I have been feeling so emotional that my big boys aren’t babies any more and feel like the newborn days flew by as I walked through the fog for PPD/PPA and regret not holding them a little longer or worrying about a clean house rather than just holding them and it’s been feeling awful. Some of you read what’s going on between myself and my parents and I look at my little guys and I know I didn’t always put 100% in but I’ve been trying really hard the last few months to give every day 110% to parenting. I read this post on a blog and it really resonated with me the last few weeks and wanted to share...while I delve into cookies and cry:



Fast forward many years: The master plan was kind to you. Your “moment” has come. You had a nice run, and you’re ready to check-out. Hopefully, you won’t be in too much pain. (If as you read you’re getting uncomfortable or intrigued, keep reading, because here is where the story gets interesting). A lot of what you have done in your life was wanted or needed but not so important (e.g., running errands, doing laundry, amassing your fortune), and a lot of what you have done will matter more than you can ever know.

Your children (now adults) are at your bedside. When you look at their beautiful faces, you see big versions of the little creatures that you coddled and corrected, nourished and nurtured, and above all, loved. They are complex individuals, adults with free-will, who live in a world with great influence. Of course, you are not directly responsible for their trials or triumphs, yet so much of who they are came from what you did.

In this moment you reflect on the most important and influential job you ever had: parenting. Will you know in your heart that you gave your children all that you could to help them become happy, healthy and productive citizens of planet earth? This is your “moment.” Make it a good one.

Mom life

Do not put that much blame on yourself.....you did the best you can when they were born. It's a whole new learning experience as a new mother and you had twins! I was a mess when I had DD and yes there are times that I think back to where I know I could have done better but I am human. Learn from your past and know that you are a great mother for even wanting to try and be a better mother in the future for your boys.

Re: Mom life

You can't put that kind of pressure on yourself on a daily basis! Do the best you can as often as you can. It's ok to put yourself first sometimes.

Re: Mom life

I am the opposite. I couldn't wait for the newborn phase to be over. I would never want to go back to that for a million dollars. Hence why I only have one.

I hated the uncertainty, the anxiety, the worry, the constant crying, the colic, the screaming, the sleepless nights, the formula, diapers, etc,
I hated that she couldn't tell me what was wrong, what was bothering her.

Life became infinitely better once she grew up a bit.

Now that she is 8 years old life is perfection.
If I could freeze an age, or if I were to get wistfully about an age, it would be this one.
I will be sad and nostalgic when she is older and wishing for this specific age.

There is a lot of good to come- you will be amazed!

Re: Mom life

I’m over the 100%.
I can’t put it into anything:
Not work when I have kids
Not kids when I have a husband
Not my husband when I have myself
Not even myself when I have family and friends

But no regrets, I do what I can and the best that I can for that moment.

You are too.
Every phase is good and I do think the older ones (I like 4-8 years old) are much more fun than a newborn.

Re: Mom life

Even the "best" parents will eventually look back and regret SOMETHING. Hopefully it's just little stuff. No one can do this perfectly, no matter how bad we want to.

I think if you're worried about this, you're probably doing just fine. But the guilt is strong and it will take over if you let it.

Re: Mom life

Mom life

Please stop putting so much pressure on yourself. You cannot focus on your children 110% of the time. You have to make time to nurture yourself. As well as time to clean your home, etc. Enjoy the moments with your boys and give yourself a break. Finding balance has been a difficult part of parenthood for me but it has been worth it.
I think most parents do their best with the tools they have- If you feel overwhelmed maybe you need to step back and see what “tools” you need to help you find a balance.

Mom life

I really hate blog posts like this. I have no idea what kind of lives these women lead that they have the ability do nothing but parent. Or, more importantly, the desire to do anything but parent. What horrible role models they are for their children, particularly their daughters, who will be made to believe they exist only to birth and raise children.

I don’t put 110% into parenting. I can’t. I’m not just a mother. I wear other hats. Being a mother comes first but that doesn’t mean those other hats aren’t really important.

You are not just a mother. You are many, many things. Never forget that. You are teaching a much more valuable lesson by showing them that their mom can do anything. That’s life. Life isn’t you holding them all the time. No one is gonna hold them when the go to college or have their first job interview. You’re preparing them for life. That is one of your many jobs

Re: Mom life

Mom life

You can't put 100% into any one thing, or you will drive yourself into an early grave. Motherhood may be my most important, and most time consuming, role. It is also the role I love the most. But I am a wife, daughter, sister, & friend too. I make time for everything, and yes, sometimes that means on that particular day, my children weren't my main focus...and I have 5!!
You are a wonderful mother, I promise you, your boys won't be at your bedside when you are 95, blaming you for not holding them 24/7 when they were infants. We all do the best we can, and I promise that is good enough.
IMO, the older they get, the better and more fun they are! I find that once they hit 4/5, is when they are officially "big kids", and all trace of baby and toddlerhood is gone. But that is when they become like your little friends, so much fun, you can have a full and real conversation with them...the best is yet to come.