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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
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Re: Advice/Opinion Regarding an Assault That Took Place
Posted by NervousNell
My question is, how would the person eventually find out your name?
Why aren't victims protected?
That is terrible!
I was wondering the same thing.
To the OP. I'd like to think that would press charges. But until I was in the situation it's hard to say what I'd really do.
Like a few others have said, maybe at least get the tapes and go from there. But get those before they are erased.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. Sounds terrifying!
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Posted 6/8/17 1:19 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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Paramount
Sweet!
Member since 7/12 4289 total posts
Name:
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Re: Advice/Opinion Regarding an Assault That Took Place
Posted by busymomonli
Maybe he is a regular patron of that 7-11? I would go in (with your dh, or have him go) and speak to the owner, explain what happened, and see if he will pull the tape without going through the police. I know of people who had hit and run accidents and appealed to the company it happened in front of, and they were happy to help.
Not sure what you would do from there exactly. But maybe seeing it might give you some clarity (like it was not as bad or worse than you though). Maybe you can determine his motive.
Can't hurt to ask.
My other thought if you do press charges is to immediately get an order of protection from him.
But then what would you do with the tape?
What would her DH do if he saw the guy?
IMHO none of these scenarios end well. I DO get that it would just be for her...but I don't agree.
Honestly I would let it go for the SOLE fact he might have meant you harm. If so then you are the B1tch that got him arrested....if he knew your name and address I would skip it.
I had a weird incident and a woman ended up knowing who I was. I was afraid she was going to come to my house and kill my dog. Hind sight being what it is I would never have gone forward knowing she found out who I was.
Im so sorry.
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| Posted 6/8/17 1:21 PM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7790 total posts
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Re: Advice/Opinion Regarding an Assault That Took Place
Posted by NervousNell
My question is, how would the person eventually find out your name?
Why aren't victims protected?
That is terrible!
Because you have a right to know who your accuser is so you can defend yourself. And, unfortunately, there are so many false claims that are based on domestic spats, etc. it has minimized the seriousness of the crime when someone is truly vicitimized.
To the OP, that is very scary. Although it is hard to say for certain, I would probably press charges. I would also go back to the 7-11 and speak to the employees there to see if they know who this guy is and if there is a history with him. You never know. This guy could have a long criminal record and this may not be simply be knocked down to harassment.
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| Posted 6/8/17 1:33 PM |
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busymomonli
Resident Insomniac
Member since 4/13 2052 total posts
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Re: Advice/Opinion Regarding an Assault That Took Place
Posted by Paramount
Posted by busymomonli
Maybe he is a regular patron of that 7-11? I would go in (with your dh, or have him go) and speak to the owner, explain what happened, and see if he will pull the tape without going through the police. I know of people who had hit and run accidents and appealed to the company it happened in front of, and they were happy to help.
Not sure what you would do from there exactly. But maybe seeing it might give you some clarity (like it was not as bad or worse than you though). Maybe you can determine his motive.
Can't hurt to ask.
My other thought if you do press charges is to immediately get an order of protection from him.
But then what would you do with the tape?
What would her DH do if he saw the guy?
IMHO none of these scenarios end well. I DO get that it would just be for her...but I don't agree.
Honestly I would let it go for the SOLE fact he might have meant you harm. If so then you are the B1tch that got him arrested....if he knew your name and address I would skip it.
I had a weird incident and a woman ended up knowing who I was. I was afraid she was going to come to my house and kill my dog. Hind sight being what it is I would never have gone forward knowing she found out who I was.
Im so sorry.
I guess my thought was that maybe the 7-11 employees know of him and what his mental state is. I know my local 7-11 has some regulars who are slightly off and one or two are homeless. He gives them free coffee and keeps their interaction at a minimum. I also thought that seeing it replayed might help her remember more details. Sometimes seeing things from another viewpoint help us remember.
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| Posted 6/8/17 1:58 PM |
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mommyof3girls
LIF Adult
Member since 5/12 2773 total posts
Name:
Sue
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Re: Advice/Opinion Regarding an Assault That Took Place
So sorry this happened to you. I have 4 girls and I think I would still go ahead and press charges. At least I would like to think I will move forward. It's hard to say when you're not on that side. But I just can't let him walk away after doing something like that to me and who knows what life I might have saved.
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| Posted 6/8/17 2:03 PM |
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MC09
arrrghhh!!!!
Member since 2/09 5674 total posts
Name:
Me speaks pirate!
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Re: Advice/Opinion Regarding an Assault That Took Place
How terrifying! Sorry you had to go through that. Glad you are ok.
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| Posted 6/8/17 2:17 PM |
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hope417
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/12 718 total posts
Name:
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Re: Advice/Opinion Regarding an Assault That Took Place
****. I am in awe of your strength and courage. That must have been terrifying. I'm so glad you're ok. .
I agree with the others. Maybe have DH go there and talk to the owner to get more info on the guy and ask the police for their POV.
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| Posted 6/8/17 2:32 PM |
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BabyLove08
Love her!
Member since 2/08 3673 total posts
Name:
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Advice/Opinion Regarding an Assault That Took Place
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your advice, and words of wisdom. I am still unsure what to do, but believe soon I will make a decision when my heart guides me there.
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| Posted 6/8/17 7:24 PM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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Re: Advice/Opinion Regarding an Assault That Took Place
Posted by Hope2009
I'm sorry this happened to you, it is very scary. If you do decide to pursue the matter criminally the DA's office will give you an order of protection from him.
And that's a piece of paper that is worthless.
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| Posted 6/9/17 9:43 AM |
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jlm2008
LIF Adult
Member since 1/10 5092 total posts
Name:
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Re: Advice/Opinion Regarding an Assault That Took Place
Posted by NervousNell
My question is, how would the person eventually find out your name?
Why aren't victims protected?
That is terrible!
Victims are never protected. My mother was held up at gun point and tied up about 10 years ago. Local paper printed her name. Both of her perps are already out of jail. It scares me to death that they know exactly who she is. They both had lengthy criminal histories and were arrested already like 20 times before my mom. Criminal Justice system is a joke.
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| Posted 6/9/17 9:45 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Advice/Opinion Regarding an Assault That Took Place
Posted by jlm2008
Posted by NervousNell
My question is, how would the person eventually find out your name?
Why aren't victims protected?
That is terrible!
Victims are never protected. My mother was held up at gun point and tied up about 10 years ago. Local paper printed her name. Both of her perps are already out of jail. It scares me to death that they know exactly who she is. They both had lengthy criminal histories and were arrested already like 20 times before my mom. Criminal Justice system is a joke.
And this is why many victims are reluctant to report crimes. Very very sad.
Our system protects the criminals.
Disgusting
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| Posted 6/9/17 9:50 AM |
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lightblue
LIF Adult
Member since 1/17 2249 total posts
Name:
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Re: Advice/Opinion Regarding an Assault That Took Place
Posted by jlm2008
Posted by NervousNell
My question is, how would the person eventually find out your name?
Why aren't victims protected?
That is terrible!
Victims are never protected. My mother was held up at gun point and tied up about 10 years ago. Local paper printed her name. Both of her perps are already out of jail. It scares me to death that they know exactly who she is. They both had lengthy criminal histories and were arrested already like 20 times before my mom. Criminal Justice system is a joke.
Ugh so sorry this happened to to your mom, and to the OP... I think as much as I would want to press charges the system is so broken even if charged this guy would be out of jail not too long after. I think I would be even more worried that this guy could track me down.
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| Posted 6/9/17 12:16 PM |
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Re: Advice/Opinion Regarding an Assault That Took Place
Posted by jlm2008
Posted by Hope2009
I'm sorry this happened to you, it is very scary. If you do decide to pursue the matter criminally the DA's office will give you an order of protection from him.
And that's a piece of paper that is worthless.
Funny but not funny, I just posted that in Relationships. My bosses always say what good are they? Can they be held up while you're shot?
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| Posted 6/9/17 12:20 PM |
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Mushesgirl
Too blessed to be stressed
Member since 4/09 6691 total posts
Name:
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Re: Advice/Opinion Regarding an Assault That Took Place
Not only are victims not protected, my former boss was stalked by a defendant in a criminal court case she was a juror on! He got her name! Sick!
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| Posted 6/9/17 5:38 PM |
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Paramount
Sweet!
Member since 7/12 4289 total posts
Name:
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Advice/Opinion Regarding an Assault That Took Place
Guy was just arrested in east northport. I have a post and am happy to send FM. Look at his picture in my post.
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| Posted 6/10/17 8:42 AM |
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skew
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 6794 total posts
Name:
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Re: Advice/Opinion Regarding an Assault That Took Place
I am so sorry this happened to you but very thankfully that you had the strength and courage to fight back and escape.
I agree with the others that you should speak to the owner of the 711 and make him/her aware of what happened.
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| Posted 6/10/17 11:09 AM |
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