How long do you stay with an RE?

I am torn. I know I haven't been on this journey as long as others(I also don't have endless years to do this) but I have been going strong since Sept/Oct. how long do you stay with a practice and not getting pregnant before switching? Do you switch? Is it really their fault I am not pregnant yet?? We have no real issues or reasons for our infertility that I know of. It was never really discussed with us which is odd, no? Other than the volume of samples DH produces there is nothing. His counts are great(for the volume) and motility is decent. I have never been told anything neg about my blood work. So how long do I give it before I switch? My ins covers unlimited IUI (but they only want me to do 6 cuz they pay for it) then go to IVF. I don't think IVF is a possibility for us financially. We have too many other bills and I can't go into foreclosure to have a baby. I have had two medicated IUI cycles. One ended in chemical and this one neg. do I continue here?? I love the staff but the dr I was referred to left(SR) to go to North Shore. (I am at RSofNY for those who don't know). The practice is great and everybody is so great but I want a baby! I don't want to have to keep going there at 645 am! I want to wake up for my baby at 645 am! Lol. Any advice?? I understand there is no guarantee in life but is their an expiration on how long you give a practice??

Sorry this was such a long vent!!!

Re: How long do you stay with an RE?

I think you need to do what is best for you. I also think it is important to be very vocal to your RE. The one thing I have learned on this journey is that you really need to be your own advocate because no one else will. If you feel like more testing needs to be done on your end, then demand it - don't ask.

We had two failed IVF cycles in 2012 and we have decided to get another opinion.

Why did I decide to change?
1. The SARTs at my clinic were not that good (compared to the new clinic I am checking out).
2. They were not willing to offer us anything new (in terms of protocol). Each round of IVF is costing us a pretty penny (even though we have insurance - we have a high deductible plan).
3. They had little insight into why we kept getting poor quality embryos. That or they refused to be honest with us.
4. I was always seen by a nurse - no doctor. I LOVED the nurses, but if I am paying for a doctor appointment I want to see a doctor!
5. When I explained our situation to my DH's urologist, he said the best thing to do was to seek out a second opinion...

Re: How long do you stay with an RE?

I was with Dr.B for nearly 3 years. We did 3 iuis, I got pregnant but had a loss at 17wks. We did another 3 iuis and I had a chemical. Then we moved on to Ivf. I had triplets but lost them at 8wks. Then we did another fresh Ivf cycle but the transfer had to be canceled due to my lining. We did an FET and my lining was still terrible. At that point I started making appointments with other opinions. It was a very hard decion to make because I loved and trusted Dr.B so much. Well, I stuck with him for another FET after that and got pregnant, but lost the baby in the 7th week. At that point it was recommend we persu surrogacy so we did and in that time I also went for second opinions just to be sure.
Ultimately, for a plethora od reasons,we decided to stick with surrogacy and used Dr.B for the cycles. We found a surrogate and I had two canceled cycles with my surrogate because of her lining. At that point I was told it would take 6-8 months to get a new surrogate and get back to where we were. I was crushed, frustrated, and devastated. At that point I made an appt for a consult with a different doctor and by the end of the week, was set out to do another IVF cycle. I ended up getting and staying pregnant and just hoping for things to continue this way.

Everyone has their own experience and I had my reasons for sticking with Dr.B as long as I did. I think ultimately you just have to do what's best for you and your family. There's no expiration date or norm, everyone's experience is unique. Good luck!

How long do you stay with an RE?

I was with North Shore from April 2011-May 2012 before switching to RS of NY. My issue with North Shore was it was consistently the same protocol and I had 5 failed/canceled cycles and the RE didn't want to change so I decided to change. Changing practices was the best thing I ever did. I got my BFP.

You ultimately have to do what's best for you.

Re: How long do you stay with an RE?

I started at RS of Mineola. I was not there long, went for a consult and a sono and was not happy. I then left and went to East Coast. I did a bunch of IUIs before my doctor told me I should move on to IVF. My mom ended up getting the name of a doctor at North Shore from a friend who got her pregnant so I switched to them. I did one IVF there and a frozen cycle before getting the name of Dr. Braverman. I switched over to him and get pregnant almost a year to the day I started to see him. I switched RE not because I didn't get pregnant but because something didn't sit well with each practice till I got to Dr. Bravermans. I wanted a small practice, with one on one attention. I wanted amazing nurses, a doctor who was focused on my case and someone who looked for answers instead of pushing me into doing things without any answers. This process takes time, it took me 5 years to get pregnant but in the end it was all worth it.

Re: How long do you stay with an RE?

Hmm, well, in a word: until they blow it somehow.

I left RSofNY because they mismanaged my first IVF. I could get into specifics, but I don't want this to turn into a rant.

I left RMA because I explicitly told my doctor that I needed ovulation monitoring because of a long history of OPKs not detecting my surge. This was after he fixed my tube and he wanted me to try naturally. And after ignoring me on that point, we missed my ovulation the first cycle after my tubes were flushed, which is kind of a key opportunity. I moved on...no patience for stuff like that.

I was at LIIVF for like 5 minutes. Dr. Brenner suggested a "gentle stimulation" protocol for my 3rd IVF, which he would have know if he had taken one look at the $100 worth of records they asked for that I had a cycle cancellation as a result of just such a protocol. He also suggested that I start thinking about DE at 32 when I had made 11 embryos on my previous IVF, 2 of them gorgeous and perfect 8-cells. To me it was just a lame cop-out, so I moved on.

Now I am happy as a clam @ Cornell with Dr. Davis. I'm not pregnant, but I have done my homework on IF and this is an exceptional doctor. However, I would still move on if I felt I was dealing with repeat IVFs with no new answers or approaches. I'm not there yet.

Re: How long do you stay with an RE?

The decision you are pondering is a tough one. To be honest, my RE didn't give me much info either. He told me DH was fine and that the problem was me. He then proceeded to tell me a ton of things very quickly using medical terminology I could not understand. Each time I would ask a question he would look at me like I was stupid and give me another response using a lot of big words. I only stayed with him bc he had an extremely high success rate.

While I totally get what you are going through month after month of disappointment, you can not lose site of the fact that you had a chemical last month. This means that a medicated IUI can work for you and hopefully will work for you again SOON!!!!!

I do want to add that you have a right to know what is going on with you medically and if you don't understand fully or have any questions you should ask. If you aren't satisfied with your answers or if they seem unsure you might want to go for a second opinion. I had my Dr. Give me the name of what he said I had, let him babble, and then went to a geneticist who has always explained everything well to me. he gave me all the answers I needed to proceed.

Message edited 2/16/2013 9:15:46 PM.

Re: How long do you stay with an RE?

we stayed from the tart to the finish..2 years..we liked him,thought he knew "us" very well and our issues etc

it is just about your comfort level,but if u have any doubts i would switch

Re: How long do you stay with an RE?

Posted by IVFmiracle

The decision you are pondering is a tough one. To be honest, my RE didn't give me much info either. He told me DH was fine and that the problem was me. He then proceeded to tell me a ton of things very quickly using medical terminology I could not understand. Each time I would ask a question he would look at me like I was stupid and give me another response using a lot of big words. I only stayed with him bc he had an extremely high success rate.

While I totally get what you are going through month after month of disappointment, you can not lose site of the fact that you had a chemical last month. This means that a medicated IUI can work for you and hopefully will work for you again SOON!!!!!

I do want to add that you have a right to know what is going on with you medically and if you don't understand fully or have any questions you should ask. If you aren't satisfied with your answers or if they seem unsure you might want to go for a second opinion. I had my Dr. Give me the name of what he said I had, let him babble, and then went to a geneticist who has always explained everything well to me. he gave me all the answers I needed to proceed.

Re: How long do you stay with an RE?

I have to say ther is only your own limit. I second the fact that YES you have to open your mouth and ask questions.and if you don't understand the response say so. Make them explain in english. Make the RE know you are a person. I say this from experience. I was at the same place from 2009 to 2011. The first rounds of iui I didn't ask anything just went with the flow and when I was told IVF was the next step I folowed. The Re on that weekend fffd up and triggered me to early I found out later by the way the other docs behaved. To her I was just another case not her primary pt so when after she called to say she all eggs retrieved weren't usable, she followed up with a (I kid u not) "theres always next time". I made sure I made it clear to all the staff that i never saw her again. Besides that I still had faith until my second IVF failure andI still wasnt getting the info the other girls on here were getting like the bw #s or the lining info. Thats when I got a second opinion. While it was a fresh pair of eyes I realized I would have to start all over again. The problem was me I didn't open my mouth enough. So I went back to the first place and asked about everything. I wanted to know what they know as routine, I wanted to be heard and educated.and if I didn't like something I called it out.
I can't trek you what a difference it made. You almost sound like you and I saw the same Dr. Btw I have a 8 mo dd because of them and thinking of going back for another try. Good luck to you.

Message edited 2/18/2013 12:14:53 AM.