Tips for Maximizing Weeknights as a FTWM

So today was my first full day back after being home for exactly 20 months. My DD turned 20m old today (shameless plug and excuse to add a photo ).

Anyway so the work day went fine. My job is a TON of work and there was just so much work I had barely any time to be sad. I mean I'd see her pic on my computer screen or wall and I'd get sad for a second but I was wayyyyy too busy to stay sad. And to be honest it felt weird to really use my brain again. It's like riding a bike - it feels weird to do it again after a long time, but it's very easy to pick up where you left off!! I didn't even cry once!!

Anyway so all was pretty good, got home quick, not too much traffic. My DD was pretty happy to see me (as happy as a 20m old really gets - runs towards you smiling and then gets distracted by a crayon and is off coloring on the fridge ). So I spent as much time as I could hanging with her before she went to bed, but the only thing that I just hate is that I am SOOOOO exhausted the whole time. I understand that its going to take time to get into this schedule, but Im just wondering how people make it through the week. I know I have to start going to bed earlier but then that just takes away any semblance of time for myself. In my last job when I was pregnant I really didn't have time for myself cause I worked a million hours and I somehow made it to the weekend every week. But now it just seems like I get home and it's like a whole different job, even though I obviously love hanging with DD a lot more. I can't complain cause DH is home with her now and he made dinner too so all I had to do was clean up and give her a bath, hang out and put her to bed.

Anyway Im just rambling but basically looking for tips out of how to get the most of out your weeknight time for both yourself and your child(ren). Any tips?

(oh yes, and here is DD in all of her glory, about 2 weeks ago )

Message edited 1/14/2013 8:54:04 PM.

Re: Tips for Maximizing Weeknights as a FTWM

She is so pretty.

On nights that we're both working I literally walk in the door at 6:30, throw her dinner together and feed her by 6:45. If I have something ready to eat, I'll eat with her and DH will eat when he gets home (7:15-7:30 usually). Then we play. I *try* to let the mess wait (sometimes I'm unsuccessful) and just focus on her.

On DH's off days, I get home anywhere between 6:45 and 7:30 usually. DH will be feeding her or have her fed, and she will usually stay in her highchair while we eat quickly. Then we have family play time... it's the best.

I go to bed between 10-11 usually. In all honesty I could be in bed right now - there's nothing else to do... but this is my time to unwind. DD goes to bed anywhere between 8:15 and 9, depending on how she napped.

I am not going to lie, I'm exhausted all the time. But that's partially my fault because I could go to sleep earlier. I just opt to unwind, and then drink extra coffee in the morning, lol.

Re: Tips for Maximizing Weeknights as a FTWM

Stay off LIF!!!

Seriously though! She is adorable!

Once we put them to bed we go full force at what needs to be done. No sitting down until it gets done otherwise I know I won't do it.

I don't stress about the small stuff. If my house isn't "perfect" and I am tired I let myself relax. I try to go to bed early but I enjoy me time.

I save big cleanings for sat or sunday. DH will take them downstairs to play or I use their nap times.

Sunday nights I try to make sure the house is fully clean and plan out dinners for the week.

Re: Tips for Maximizing Weeknights as a FTWM

You will fall into a groove. Yes I feel like I have 2 full time jobs and hove not had decent sleep since I was pregnant. I am also ALWAYS tired. I get home between 3 and 4:30 though. The moment I walk in the door those little girls are glued to me. Usually, at that time my partner goes to work.

I try my best to clean up the kitchen after dinner. whatever still needs to get done, gets done after they go to bed.


I can not believe how precious and big Emily is!!!

Tips for Maximizing Weeknights as a FTWM

So adorable! And congrats on making it through the first day!

Honestly, I wouldn't be able to do it without DH. He helps out a ton. I get home with DD around 4:45 and she goes to bed around 7. Her early bedtime is a big help too because it gives me plenty of time to get stuff done. I lay out her clothes for the week on Sunday, so I don't have to worry about that. After she goes to bed I make her lunch for the next day and get everything ready for the morning. DH cleans up after dinner. Meals are usually quick things that don't take much effort. Planning out all meals for the week helps as well, so there's no thinking or debating over dinner. And we make things like vaccuming into a game. DD gets a kick out of it so we chase her around the house with it. She thinks it's fun and we get to play with her while getting a chore done.

Re: Tips for Maximizing Weeknights as a FTWM

I can't see her pic.

Congrats on getting through your first day!!!!! Finding a balance is hard, but doable. When I went back after DD1 I felt like I had NO time to do anything once I came home. Now that I have TWO sweet lil girls waiting for me whan I get home, I truly have zero time to breathe. The nanny leaves and I barely have time to change into sweats before I'm making dinners, doing baths, preparing stuff for the next day etc. Oddly, I thrive on the madness and love the chaos!

My biggest suggestion to is to plan ahead as much as possible. You said DH makes her dinner so that's great. I try to have a set menu for them each week so I can just make things quickly. Multi task - have her "help you" make dinner or lunches for the next day, so you have that time together; play in her room while you lay out her clothes for the next day. We went from baths every night, to every other night (at least for the cooler months when they aren't outside playing all day).

You'll find your groove!

Tips for Maximizing Weeknights as a FTWM

Congrats on making it through the day. I think you will find a routine after a few weeks. And yes you will be exhausted in the beginning.

My DS goes to bed between 8-9 so I spend all that time with him. I walk in the door around 630 get his dinner ready and he eats while I make dinner for us. After dinner we play until bedtime (bath time is squeezed in there). Once he is asleep I clean up and get his daycare bag together.

DH will help with dishes or other "chores" if I ask him. I'm in bed most nights by 10pm and back up around 5am. It took a bit but I found what works for us. I am lucky that I have a husband that will eat PB&J if I don't feel like cooking.

I'm not going to lie. There are days I miss DS like crazy but to see his smiling face when I walk into daycare is the best feeling in the world.

Re: Tips for Maximizing Weeknights as a FTWM

DO NOT SIT DOWN - once you are down, you are not getting up. Do everything as soon as you can, once your daughter is down for the night.

I find that once I sit or stop moving, its over. I am not getting up.