WWYD? It's so hard being an employer! Re: nannies

Our nanny has been with us for 8 months so far. My kids ADORE her. She gets on the floor with them and plays with them non stop. She also cleans my house and does all the laundry. The last few months she has done a few things that raised eyebrows, each of which made DH tell me I need to fire her. I have a hard time firing her b/c she is generally really, really good. She is like my second hand, keeps my house in order and loves my kids. There have been 2 incidents recently that are worrisome and DH is on top of me to let her go. Last month, she had my daughter (18 months) strolling my DS (3 months) in a TOY stroller. At first I thought it was cute, and then reality set in that it's SUPER dangerous. He is 15 lbs and is obviously heavier than dolls! I told her that she should never do that again, and she hasn't. DH was very upset, but we moved on. A few days ago, as I was changing DS in the middle of the night, I felt something prickly. She had left a NEEDLE in the changing table. She said she used it to sew a button on one of the kids' clothes and she put the needle into the changing mattress to keep it put. Obviously she forgot it there. It's an honest mistake, but it could have taken my DS' eye out! Thank god nothing happened. I know it was just a mistake, and things like that don't happen often, but is it cause to fire her immediately? DH can't believe I haven't fired her yet, but I don't know how to. I feel like she is family at this point but I know she is not, and my childrens' safety is my priority. I thought of telling her not to do any cleaning and just focus on the children and maybe that would help (maybe she's just TOO busy- although she takes things on herself and I never asked her to do any sewing, and both kids nap about 3-4 hours daily!), but to be honest, she speaks in broken English, and if I wanted someone to JUST play/watch the kids, I'd prefer to hire someone who speaks English 100%. WWYD???????!!! Please be honest.

Message edited 8/18/2012 12:11:42 PM.

Re: WWYD? It's so hard being an employer! Re: nannies

What does your instinct tell you? Are your kids safe with her?

Can you possibly get a nanny cam so you can monitor her and see if she has judgement issues throughtout the day?

Message edited 8/18/2012 12:16:17 PM.

Re: WWYD? It's so hard being an employer! Re: nannies

I am not sure... nanny cams are really expensive too

WWYD? It's so hard being an employer! Re: nannies

From a nanny perspective (bc I am one)... I think firing her would be a bit harsh. From what you posted, it doesn't seem like she means any harm and looks like she goes above and beyond her duties. Sometimes it's hardto think like a mom when you aren't one. I see the difference now that I am a mom but I personally couldn't fire for things like that

Re: WWYD? It's so hard being an employer! Re: nannies

Re: WWYD? It's so hard being an employer! Re: nannies

I agree that those are just accidents that happen and not worth firing her but if you gut is saying to fire her then maybe you should go with your gut.

Re: WWYD? It's so hard being an employer! Re: nannies

Those incidents are not accidents. They are very poor judgement. You can't accidentally put an infant into a toy stroller. Also, if you were sewing, you would never randomly put down a needle in the baby's changing pad. Both actions are not acceptable to me.

Re: WWYD? It's so hard being an employer! Re: nannies

Re: WWYD? It's so hard being an employer! Re: nannies

I don't know its hard.

I left a pair of SHARP scissors in the crib with my daughter all night and into the next day. Recently I let her slip up and touch a glob of hot glue. Things do happen. She needs to learn and generally be proactive at avoiding future incidents.

I think if I were you, I'd sit down and put her on notice. The safety of your children is paramount. If she is having issues focusing she needs to talk to you about what's going on. Is it too much or not? I would glady help with some of the other stuff if it meant my children had more of her attention during the crucial times.

Re: WWYD? It's so hard being an employer! Re: nannies

I would not trust her with my kids after those incidents. Fire her now, I rather feel stressed and akward for a few moments, than truly live to regret not firing her and something god awful happening.

Honestly, I would just state what you told us and say that those things make you question leaving the children alone with her and you are no longer comfortable with her/

Lie if you need to. I was let go from work, and we need to cut back, blah blah


Given what you stated, she seems to not have a clue. Get someone new ASAP

WWYD? It's so hard being an employer! Re: nannies

I think we all use poor judgement at times and we all make mistakes. If you love her, and it sounds like you do, I say talk to her. It also sounds like she was receptive to you talking to her before. I get she's your nanny but I don't think any parent can say they haven't done something without thinking. You also need to keep in mind she may come from a different place and things like putting a child in a toy stroller may not be bad and she may have seen it done. You addressed that and it's over. Last week I was doing laundry and when I went into DD's room she came running in with scissors saying I need help. Yes my 2yr old was running through the house with them. How she got them I don't know, but she did. I think in situations like this you need to follow your gut.

Re: WWYD? It's so hard being an employer! Re: nannies

Your gut should tell you. But in all fairness, everyone has poor judgement some of the time. I don't know about most posters but I'm sure there are some DHs that do some questionable things that make us go "ahhhhh" when we see it. I watched my BIL pitch a ball full speed at my 6 yo nephews eye socket.
You said you have a 3 month old and it's probably been a bit to handle a mobile 18 mo and 3 month. I would speak to her cut her a break cause you may let her go and find someone who is not as good. IMO.

Re: WWYD? It's so hard being an employer! Re: nannies

I would talk to her.... But I wouldn't fire her.

Re: WWYD? It's so hard being an employer! Re: nannies

I am a control freak.

No. You can't fire her over those things. She's probably not the smartest. Get rid of things that could hurt your baby. It's not easy... But baby proof. I know it's tough with an older kid... But better safe.

Needles shouldn't be in the same room as kids. Treat them like poisons... Up in places with childproof locks.

Also: you can't expect her to do so much. 2 kids is a whole lot especially as one is a newborn. Have her clean when someone else is home. If you want a different baby sitter... Get one, but IMO it is too much to expect.

WWYD? It's so hard being an employer! Re: nannies

I agree about trusting your gut but on the surface I would say "things "and it sounds like she has a lot on her plate which makes it more likey for "things to happen" I wouldnt fire her over it JMO.

Re: WWYD? It's so hard being an employer! Re: nannies

Re: WWYD? It's so hard being an employer! Re: nannies

The incident with the sewing needle is a very bad mistake. I would never put it down there in the first place. I'm not sure what I would do. She would have to express that she feels pretty terrible and that she understands the magnitude of what could have happened. If you do keep her on I would try giving her few less things to focus on and maybe work with her on more training.

Re: WWYD? It's so hard being an employer! Re: nannies

I have never had a nanny, but as a SAHM I can sympathize a bit with her-- it's hard watching 2 little kids including a newborn, and then keeping up on cleaning and laundry too! Since it's my own home, I would just let the chores slide when I got too overwhelmed, but as your employee she can't do that. Right now I think she just has a lot on her plate-- you have every right to have a talk with her about it, but I don't know if it really warrants firing.

Putting the baby in the doll stroller was absolutely bad judgment, but I think most of us as moms have made bad judgment calls over the years-- note all the "worst mom award of the day" posts people make, beating themselves up for their mistakes.

Honestly, I have seen so many bored nannies on their phones the whole time at the playground, not even watching the kids-- if this lady is really great with your kids and engaged with them, to me that is worth its weight in gold and I'd give her a second chance.

Re: WWYD? It's so hard being an employer! Re: nannies

I don't know. That's a really tough call.

I think both things would raise a concern about her judgement.

Both incidents are extremely dangerous to your children and I would have been livid if I found out.

What was her response after you spoke to her after the incidents?

Is she aware of what she did and does she understand the implications.

I would definitely talk to her.

Re: WWYD? It's so hard being an employer! Re: nannies

Your DH seems to be unhappy with her care. If that's the case, maybe you should find somebody you are BOTH comfortable with. Aside from that, the needle on the changing table- definitely an accident. I would absolutely speak to her about that, tell her to be more careful in the future.

In terms of the baby in a toy stroller...



I've done it, too.

Re: WWYD? It's so hard being an employer! Re: nannies

It doesn't sound like your DH likes her.

People make mistakes. I make mistakes all the time. I often have poor judgment that I regret later. I would not fire her over those 2 instances.

3yo DS used to have us push him around in a toy stroller until he was 2.5.

3yo DS pushes his baby brother around in his toy stroller all the time. They both have a blast. It is one of our favorite youtube videos of the kids. There are so many ways kids can get injured. DH witnesses fluke accidents all the time.

Re: WWYD? It's so hard being an employer! Re: nannies