Comments from MIL already!

We were so excited to tell MIL we are expecting, since this will be her first grandchild. So we told her this weekend and already she is giving me anxiety. Saying things like, "Your mom is going to have to fight me for that baby, I am going to take it every single weekend!" She also said that I should get the room ready for her cause she staying with us all the time! She also keeps saying she wants it to be a boy since my family has all boys and my mother already has 3 grandsons, so MIL seems to think my mother won't care as much if I have a boy. This logic is absurd to me and really hurts me. I think it is so rude of her to assume that my mother is so shallow to not care about my baby if it is not a girl.

I am just having extreme anxiety about MIL possibly being overbearing by the way she's been talking. I know she is just really excited and this is all new and great news, but omg, this woman is saying crazy things.

Ahhh - I just really needed to vent that because I can't really talk about it with DH since it is his mother and he loves her.

Re: Comments from MIL already!

I understand that she is your DH's mother and he loves her, but I think you should talk to him. Stress is not good for you OR the baby, and to be honest it will probably just get worse. Not trying to scare you, but overbearing MILs like that only get more overbearing when nothing is said to stop them. I went through a similar situation (very different issues, but issues with MIL nonetheless) and it only got worse once DS arrived. It caused all kinds of problems in our marriage, and currently MIL & I are not speaking. My DH loves her and is not confrontational, and the issues keep getting bigger and bigger. I think your DH needs to talk to her and tell her to back off, in the nicest way possible. Good luck!

Re: Comments from MIL already!

I hear you. With our first, we got the opposite. She would bemoan the fact that I was going to have a boy. Like that was the worst thing in the world. Bur she has 3 boys and claims the baby she lost was a girl. She talked about sleepovers and whatnot too. Btw, I have 2 girls and neither has ever slept over.

I agree with the pp, it does get worse. Either say something, or tell your dh to.


Good luck

Re: Comments from MIL already!

I would honestly let it slide for a bit. You just told her you are carrying her 1st grandchild! She is going to be over the moon!! Some of this is excitment and nerves, and some of it is the fantasy of her 1st grandchild. If it continues or gets worse then talk to her and calmly and politely let her know the guidelines. A lot can change. My dad and step-mom had all sorts of GREAT plans for our child and they haven't seen her in 3 months. Things change once the baby gets here and as time goes on. For now I would let it ride and relish that she's so excited for you guys!

Re: Comments from MIL already!

I agree with letting it slide somewhat. I know when we first told my MIL she kept calling our LO her baby. I politely corrected her by just saying our baby anytime she said it. I think DH gently spoke with her too. If it persists, then I would really have DH talk with her.

Re: Comments from MIL already!

Oh geeze....see how it goes. Maybe she will start to tone it down, after the intial excitement. If she wants to stay over, just politely tell her you can handle everything.

I can't help you all that much. Our kids are the only grandkids on both sides.

The competitive thing would bother me a lot though. If she still continues to make the comments, tell her it's not a competition. But you are happy that your LO will have so many people to love him/her.

Re: Comments from MIL already!

Ugh. Hopefully she's just saying these things out of excitement and doesn't REALLY mean all of it. I would try and let it slide for now and just ignore it. If she keeps it up though and it stresses you out, you may need to talk to DH.

Re: Comments from MIL already!

Thanks for the advice girls. I did have a conversation with DH about it last night and he said that he spoke to his mother about the things she was saying about hoping it was a boy. He said that he told her not to say that ever again because it hurts me. I will wait it out on the other things - I am sure it is just excitement of being a first time grandmother.

Re: Comments from MIL already!

Posted by LightUpOurLife

I agree with letting it slide somewhat. I know when we first told my MIL she kept calling our LO her baby. I politely corrected her by just saying our baby anytime she said it. I think DH gently spoke with her too. If it persists, then I would really have DH talk with her.