should I forgive DH????

DH is planning a bachlor party for his friend since he is the BM. DH knows that I don't like BP and have had issues with them in the past with him (too much to explain but basically he had lied about going to one when we first started dating and out of guilt told me the next day that he was really at a BP and not where he said he was and at his own BP I was home waiting to go out with my friends and ended up having a HUGE flood in our house that took me hours to clean up with many of my friends's help and I had called DH to tell him- I didn't know where the main shut off valve for the water was - believe me long and horrible story so I'll spare you the details- and DH told me and never called me back to see how things were. Even the next day. I didn't hear from him until he pulled up in the driveway!!!! )

Well, I have been asking him what the plans were and he said nothing yet. Well, it's Saturday and I asked him again.... still says probably not going to a strip club. Today I decided to check his email (which I have never done) and there is an email he sent out that describes what will go on and he says that he has planned for adult entertainment back at the hotel. I confronted him and he denied it until I told him I have read the email. He said that he would have told me before he left b/c he didn't want me to get upset and worry all week but I think that's bull.

I do trust him that he would never cheat and that he didn't disclose info to me b/c I would be upset but I feel so betrayed.

Sorry if this doesn't make sense but I am furious.

Any thoughts???

TIA!

Re: should I forgive DH????

I understand why you feel that way. I'm not a big fan of BP either, but there's nothing that you can do to control it. Don't think about it and if you trust him than I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. Sometimes it's better if you don't know the details. I'd be ****** to about the lying, but make sure you get that across. Lots of times men will turn it around to make it seem like you're just jealous and that's why you're mad and not because they lied.
I think you should plan a night out with your girlfriends that night this way you don't stay home thinking about it.

Re: should I forgive DH????

Posted by mosh913

I understand why you feel that way. I'm not a big fan of BP either, but there's nothing that you can do to control it. Don't think about it and if you trust him than I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. Sometimes it's better if you don't know the details. I'd be ****** to about the lying, but make sure you get that across. Lots of times men will turn it around to make it seem like you're just jealous and that's why you're mad and not because they lied.
I think you should plan a night out with your girlfriends that night this way you don't stay home thinking about it.

Re: should I forgive DH????

I know how you feel. DH had to plan a Bach party for his friend and he knows that I think that strippers and the clubs are disgusting. I kept asking him about what they were doing and he would never get into it fully, but gave me a gist of it. If I ever caught him lying about it, I would be beyond furious. I can see why your DH is lying, so as to avoid an argument and to not have you upset about it, but lying about something like that, esp since you have had isues in the past about it is a big no-no in my book. I would eventually forgive DH, but it would take me a while.

Re: should I forgive DH????

Let's fast forward for a second. You're going to forgive him unless you're going to leave him over this. At the point, it sounds like you need to decide how much agita you're going to give him over it.

For me, I would be angry. I would say a week of snottiness, followed by being sweet as pie the week of the party, maybe some sullenness the next day. Then I'd have to move on because holding on to it would be too difficult on our relationship.

Re: should I forgive DH????

Re: should I forgive DH????

I would be pi$$ed!!!!!!

I hate BP also, I dont get the whole stripper thing, so stupid!

I would talk to him about it and I would wonder why he sent out that e-mail if nothing is really going on??

Re: should I forgive DH????

I feel your pain, I think the ones at strip clubs and with adult entertainment are really gross. You can always "wear him out" before he goes
(Not trying to make light of the situation, just trying to make you laugh)

Re: should I forgive DH????

Not to make matters worse but I think that a strip club is MUCH better than having -eh hem- "entertainment " in a hotel room. I would be furious. BUT...I would spell out exactly what you would not be happy with.

Re: should I forgive DH????

I agre that stipclubs are much better .. tas my husband says there is always a HUGE guy looking over everything so that nothing geys touched...etc..

I would be ******... but just be a little snotty for the next week..