I need strength for this cycle

I feel like this cycle is going so slow. I am on cd11 and I am already anxious. This is month 6 (I think) and I am really finding it hard to stay positive. I was hoping this time around it would happened quickly- no such luck. I am tired of being disappointed every month. Although I am truly happy to hear when someone gets a BFP, part of me gets sad that I am not the one posting my BFP I hate feeling this way. I know positive thinking makes a big difference but I really have to reach deep down for it this month. I didn't have my book for my train ride in and I was left alone with my thoughts and this is where I go. I should be O'ing this weekend, so by then I should have shaken these thoughts. I try to keep smiling in front of DH so he stays positive, but he knows I am getting beaten. Thanks for listening and letting me get it out

Re: I need strength for this cycle

we all will have these moments...TTC is hard when it doesnt happen as quickly as you thought

Re: I need strength for this cycle

Re: I need strength for this cycle

TTC is HARD but if it's one thing I've learned is that I have seen how supportive DH and I are of each other. We've each had our months where one of us wasn't handling it well.


I'm sending you lots of light and suggest that you schedule a fun date with your DH if possible. For all you know, this could be among the last "just us" times that you have together.

I can't wait to read about your BFP

Re: I need strength for this cycle

One of these months (hopefully this one) it WILL be you posting your BFP!!!! Those lulls in the cycle before you O and right after you O are always the toughest

Lots of babydust for this weekend!

Re: I need strength for this cycle

I agree with all posters. This is a difficult journey and i find it to be hard to stay positive. But we all know what stress can do to your body so i try to keep that in my mind when i am getting anxious, sad, disappointed or fustrated. This will happen for all us when the time is right. We may never know why it took long or why the timing wasnt right but everything happens for a reason. This journey will make you and Dh stronger. I am also on my 6 month and am finding it very hard to stay strong BUT i am keeping faith and know that when my times comes it will be amazing. I am also using all this time to go out and do things with DH romantic date nights, etc..

Message edited 4/19/2011 9:36:08 AM.

Re: I need strength for this cycle

Re: I need strength for this cycle

Re: I need strength for this cycle

Re: I need strength for this cycle

Re: I need strength for this cycle

Re: I need strength for this cycle

I came across this poem, and thought that this maybe might give you the strength you need to carry on until you are blessed with an little angel of your own.

(This is not to say that those that do not have fertility problems, love any less - but there are things that they will never know, things they will never go through)



Thoughts Of Becoming A Mother

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know I will be better

I will be better not because of genetics or money or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and I prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams. I will notice everything about my child . I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover, I will marvel at this miracle everyday for the rest of my life

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, a friend and a sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tired by the fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall

I have prevailed
I have succeeded
I have won

So now, when others hurt around me I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs,

I listen

And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten, as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learn a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes

I have learn to appreciate life

Yes I will be a wonderful person

Re: I need strength for this cycle

Re: I need strength for this cycle

I got the chills reading that poem. Thank you so much for posting it.

To the OP,
We are all here with you.

Re: I need strength for this cycle

I know that it's a tough road and can be extremely disappointing but don't lose hope. I hope that this is YOUR cycle.