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MrsSchwags
Soccer Baseball Lax Mom
Member since 10/05 11240 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Opinions on this one more time please...all the details...I promise no more after this post!
Ok I am sure you are all pretty tired of hearing about do I want to stay in NY or move out of state. We are heading down to SC this weekend and I am interviewing with the new principal at my old school...however someone just offered to rent our house down there (and possibly buy it) and they want to move in within the month....so crunch time is here.
NY OR SC
NY
Since I most likely will not have a job next year the only living situation that will make us comfortable is moving in with MIL/FIL. They have a 2 family house. We would have 3 bedrooms/bath/LR/DR/Kitchen/private entrance etc...basically it works out to be a ranch with a basement that would be "ours". They want $1000 a month all included - we can do whatever we want with renovations and we can eventually buy it from them. DH has a good job, decent salary and benefits. With me not working we are ok if we live with the inlaws and very very comfortable if I am working. We probably can't afford to rent a 3 bedroom elsewhere if I am not working. The family is here, schools are good, I hate the snow.
SC
I will have a job, DH will have to find one, which probably won't happen until we officially move. There will be no family there. We have a house we can afford. We will be ok money wise and it will get better after next year as both kids will be in school and we won't have to pay for preschool/daycare. Schools where the house is located are good, weather is nice, we have friends there from the time before.
Those are really our 2 options with living situations. Based on prior posts some of you say how important it is to be near family and others say it is important to own a house. We don't know which way to pick. We have made so many bad decisions that we don't want to keep thinking about this. We don't want to pass up on having someone rent the house and potentially buy it, if we aren't moving down.
I don't know what else to consider. DH is leaning more towards NY because the kids are superclose with his parents. We are with them a few times a week and they watch the kids a lot for us.
I lean more towards SC because of the house and potential for the kids to be comfortable down the road.
We see each other's point...but either way someone is miserable and we feel like we are making a difficult decision.
If you are still reading...I appreciate any feedback..thoughts...ideas...etc.
I am so stressed out between this decision and my job being a nightmare right now - I just want to bang my head on the wall
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Posted 4/12/11 9:45 PM  |
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julz33
i run for bacon
Member since 5/05 20584 total posts
Name:
julz
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Re: Opinions on this one more time please...all the details...I promise no more after this post!
I would stay in NY and rent the SC house (don't sell it yet).
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| Posted 4/12/11 9:51 PM |
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Re: Opinions on this one more time please...all the details...I promise no more after this post!
I would go, especially if you plan to stay in education. I just don't see the job situation improving vastly on LI, and IMO, committing to the city at this time is just a bad idea. Also, I just see LI getting progressively more expensive.
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| Posted 4/12/11 9:52 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Opinions on this one more time please...all the details...I promise no more after this post!
why did you guys leave sc in the first place?
i think a lot with lie with that answer.
good luck!
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| Posted 4/12/11 10:14 PM |
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acm1899
LIF Adult
Member since 1/11 1085 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions on this one more time please...all the details...I promise no more after this post!
Posted by julz33
I would stay in NY and rent the SC house (don't sell it yet).
Agreed. If there is still a mortgage on the SC house and you have the potential for renting it, I would stay in NY for at least a few more years. If the job situation around here is bad, I don't think it'll be any easier for your DH if he has to go down to SC and find a comparable position to what he has here.
Good luck in your choice!
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| Posted 4/12/11 10:26 PM |
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MrsSchwags
Soccer Baseball Lax Mom
Member since 10/05 11240 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Opinions on this one more time please...all the details...I promise no more after this post!
Posted by Janice
why did you guys leave sc in the first place?
i think a lot with lie with that answer.
good luck!
Ughhh..why did we leave because my MIL decided she wasn't happy there and wanted to move back and then DH's job offered him a promotion to come back. All within the same time frame.
We didn't know if it was right to be down there alone with the kids...so we moved. Now we are here....I have been miserable since moving back....DH has been happy.
It's lke our lives are better in 2 different places.
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| Posted 4/13/11 5:26 AM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: Opinions on this one more time please...all the details...I promise no more after this post!
If you dh has tried it down there, moved back, has a house down there, but still wants to live under mil's roof-even with you not finding success in the job market up there...that is a hard sale.
i imagine moving him to sc, you are going to have to provide happiness to the situation. you are the reason if he is homesick on holidays or grandparents aren't there in school on grandparents day.
you know?
it is a ton to take on.
what would make ny better for you? he has to aim to make that happen if he is going to keep you up there.
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| Posted 4/13/11 6:48 AM |
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CaMacho
Sisters :)
Member since 7/06 15112 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: Opinions on this one more time please...all the details...I promise no more after this post!
Why are you miserable in NY? NY sounds like the better option since your DH has a job and recently got a promotion. Is there more room for growth for him there?
And no family in SC? That would be a huge reason for me to stay in NY.
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| Posted 4/13/11 9:13 AM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17795 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions on this one more time please...all the details...I promise no more after this post!
From all of your posts, it sounds like YOU would be a lot happier in SC.
DH is happy here in NY, do you think he'll be happy back in SC? If he will, it sounds like that's the place for you to be (as long as you are ok without the help you are receiving from ILs).
Message edited 4/13/2011 9:18:34 AM.
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| Posted 4/13/11 9:17 AM |
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Karen
Just chillin'!!
Member since 1/06 9690 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: Opinions on this one more time please...all the details...I promise no more after this post!
Posted by MrsProfessor
I would go, especially if you plan to stay in education. I just don't see the job situation improving vastly on LI, and IMO, committing to the city at this time is just a bad idea. Also, I just see LI getting progressively more expensive.
I agree. If teaching is the only career that will truly make you happy, then I think moving is for you guys.
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| Posted 4/13/11 9:17 AM |
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BriBri2u
L'amore vince sempre
Member since 5/05 9320 total posts
Name:
Mrs. B
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Re: Opinions on this one more time please...all the details...I promise no more after this post!
I'm all about family - so my choice is NY. My DS is close to my mom and my sister as well as my MIL. He sees them everyday - MIL 3 times a week.
Your NY choice is a great one BTW. We are exploring the idea of converting my moms home into a 2 family, so we can be close to family. Otherwise, we will need to move OOS to afford a house.
Message edited 4/13/2011 9:23:47 AM.
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| Posted 4/13/11 9:22 AM |
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mom2b
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 1072 total posts
Name:
x
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Re: Opinions on this one more time please...all the details...I promise no more after this post!
I would say the best option right now given the circumstances would be for you to rent out the house in SC and move in with MIL to save money since you won't be working. Sit down with your husband and come up with a time frame you are willing to stay in NY.
I wanted to move out of NY as soon as I graduated college and I ended up staying here b/c of DH. He agreed to move down south once our older kids graduate HS which is 4 years from now. It seems like forever. I am extremely close with my family so it will be very difficult but I have to do whats right for us and my kids. 
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| Posted 4/13/11 9:25 AM |
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Re: Opinions on this one more time please...all the details...I promise no more after this post!
Message edited 6/24/2011 11:25:37 AM.
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| Posted 4/13/11 10:19 AM |
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Re: Opinions on this one more time please...all the details...I promise no more after this post!
It's such a personal decision. For me, I think being near family is the number one priority, especially now that I have a child. We moved out of the city back to LI to be near our family, and I love having everyone near by. My son knows and sees his grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins often, and my mom watches him for me when I work.
I think jobs and financial circumstances can change in a heartbeat -- by choice or not by choice, and for good or for bad -- no matter where you are or what industry you are in. So if it were me, I wouldn't base the decision solely on your job situation, especially if your dh is doing pretty well with his job here.
But only you can know what is right for you and your family. It sounds like it is going to be a really tough decision...
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| Posted 4/13/11 1:05 PM |
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MrsGmomof3
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Member since 6/08 3290 total posts
Name:
Irrelevant
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Re: Opinions on this one more time please...all the details...I promise no more after this post!
I would go. Teaching jobs on the island are non-existent.
Family will always come visit and you can make friends anywhere.
JMHO
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| Posted 4/13/11 1:51 PM |
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JandJ1224
Member since 6/06 5911 total posts
Name:
Jannette
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Re: Opinions on this one more time please...all the details...I promise no more after this post!
I would stay. Especially if you will be comfortable living in the IL's house without you having to work. The kids will be in school full time and you can spend your time doing something you enjoy rather than stressing about a job you don't like.
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| Posted 4/13/11 3:32 PM |
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MrsSchwags
Soccer Baseball Lax Mom
Member since 10/05 11240 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Opinions on this one more time please...all the details...I promise no more after this post!
Posted by BriBri2u
I'm all about family - so my choice is NY. My DS is close to my mom and my sister as well as my MIL. He sees them everyday - MIL 3 times a week.
Your NY choice is a great one BTW. We are exploring the idea of converting my moms home into a 2 family, so we can be close to family. Otherwise, we will need to move OOS to afford a house.
Does it worry you to live with family? I am not close with my inlaws...but they are good to us with helping us out with watching the kids.
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| Posted 4/13/11 4:48 PM |
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Sweetlax22
LIF Adult
Member since 5/10 1904 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions on this one more time please...all the details...I promise no more after this post!
I would stay in NY, I am a family person though.
I would also like the idea of not having to work if I stayed in NY.
The fact that you may be able to one day buy IL's house is a plus too, hopfully by the time that comes around you things in the education world will pick up and you will have a job then.
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| Posted 4/13/11 6:34 PM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions on this one more time please...all the details...I promise no more after this post!
Well, it's hard to say but I think if family is a huge support for your here that would definitely be a huge factor for me. But if you can sustain your household while DH looks for employment in SC, imwould go back there. It seems like a much more comfortable life. Good luck with your descision
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| Posted 4/13/11 7:29 PM |
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CAMCaps
Live Laugh Love Run
Member since 6/07 4922 total posts
Name:
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Re: Opinions on this one more time please...all the details...I promise no more after this post!
The two of you have to do what is best for you as a family. For me, I would want to live near my family, if I had the choice....I would move back to be closer to them in a heartbeat...
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| Posted 4/13/11 8:10 PM |
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MrsSchwags
Soccer Baseball Lax Mom
Member since 10/05 11240 total posts
Name:
Jennifer
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Re: Opinions on this one more time please...all the details...I promise no more after this post!
I definitely see the value in family. knowing we have someone to rent the house makes me happy and sad. its emotional to think of someone living in this house we built from scratch. that's one less expense here each month too.
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| Posted 4/14/11 2:15 PM |
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