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christy
Mommy of 2
Member since 5/05 6787 total posts
Name:
Christy
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Re: shower given by DH?
Posted by sweetness
Posted by maybaby
Posted by DebG
Posted by sweetness
I am sorry, but IMO if your DH throws you a shower, you guys are still same family, very tacky and looks like you are fishing for gifts.
very sweet of him, but tacky IMHO
People know showers are for gifts and MOST showers I have been to....scratch that, ALL baby showers I have ever been to have been thrown by someone related to the mom to be.
Is this just the circle I run with? where family throws the shower, I mean.
I don't think its tacky at all!!
all the showers I have been to (A LOT) have all been thrown by a family member,
maybe not the DH but what's the difference
I think most people would think its sweet
Well i guess I am the minority here on this one but's its okay and I will prob get flamed for it but
yes, showers are about presents, but your DH throwing a shower would like throwing a shower for yourself. Why not just send out invites to your home and tell people to bring a gift or cash for your bundle of joy. Technically, and etiquette wise, MIL's mothers, sisters, etc arent even suppose to throw you a shower since they are related. IMHO, you aren't suppose to "shower" yourself with gifts.
This is just how I feel, when the time comes everyone does what is best for them.
No flaming here, I appreciate honesty...Who is supposed to throw a shower though if not family?
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Posted 2/28/06 10:02 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug
Member since 5/05 11357 total posts
Name:
Kathy
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Re: shower given by DH?
Posted by christy
No flaming here, I appreciate honesty...Who is supposed to throw a shower though if not family?
Family is supposed to throw the shower. But if family isnt available or in the position to do it for some reason then friends or even DH can take over.
ETA: My sister and 3 good friends (who were my bridesmaids too) are throwing my shower for me and my Dad and DH are contributing $ towards it.
Message edited 2/28/2006 10:38:36 PM.
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| Posted 2/28/06 10:13 PM |
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justme1
Proud SAHM
Member since 5/05 1955 total posts
Name:
Jodi
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Re: shower given by DH?
Every website I go to I read this...
Who puts on the baby shower?
Normally it's a family member on either the father's side or the mother's side who throws a baby shower for the mother-to-be. However, it's really acceptable for any person close to the mother- to-be to throw the baby shower.
I havent been to one site that says family members dont throw a baby shower..
Who is going to spend all that money on a shower? A friend?
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| Posted 2/28/06 10:28 PM |
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beachgirl13
Mommy to 3 boys!
Member since 5/05 4114 total posts
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Re: shower given by DH?
The baby shower I'm going to in March is being thrown by family. I'm pretty sure my mom will throw mine. Who else other than family throws a baby shower? Just curious.
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| Posted 2/28/06 10:47 PM |
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Re: shower given by DH?
Some women are not fortunate enough to have a mom to throw a shower. Should someone not have one for that reason?
My mom was an orphan, I know she had a shower when she was pg with me, but I don't know who put it on. I have been to many baby showers and to be honest I could not say for sure who threw it. I don't think it should be an issue for your DH to throw it.
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| Posted 3/1/06 7:37 AM |
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FelAndJon
needs to update her avatar pic
Member since 6/05 10212 total posts
Name:
Felice (aka LuckyBride2004)
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Re: shower given by DH?
In DH's "daddy to be book", it says the DH is supposed to throw the shower 
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| Posted 3/1/06 8:45 AM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: shower given by DH?
Posted by MrsJ
Posted by christy
No flaming here, I appreciate honesty...Who is supposed to throw a shower though if not family?
Family is supposed to throw the shower. But if family isnt available or in the position to do it for some reason then friends or even DH can take over.
ETA: My sister and 3 good friends (who were my bridesmaids too) are throwing my shower for me and my Dad and DH are contributing $ towards it.
I agree. As you all know from my post yesterday my mom is hospitalized and not capable of giving me a shower. My mom did give me a bridal shower 7 years ago with my bridesmaids.
My MIL, both SIL's, and DH are all chipping in for the shower to the best of my knowledge. Everyone who is coming has known that my mom has been sick for YEARS and most of them actually called DH to ask him if they should give me one since my mom was not capable of giving me me one. My DH organized it with my SIL's and MIL because they needed names, addresses, etc.; all the things my mom would have done. IMO if someone does not have parents, SIL, MIL, or a family member to give them a shower DH giving you one is awesome IMO. Keep in mind, friends will also help her DH plan it and might contribute towards it.
IMHO, those who would be invited would know the situation and be happy to be there. 
Message edited 3/1/2006 9:01:26 AM.
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| Posted 3/1/06 9:00 AM |
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Ali1
Mommy
Member since 8/05 3116 total posts
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Re: shower given by DH?
I am probably in the minority here but i don't find it appropriate for a DH to throw a shower, just because to me it seems that he is throwing you a shower for people to get your baby (s) gifts.
However, if you have no close family or friends who will, maybe DH can pay for it and on the invitation just say please join us for a shower for......and not mention who is throwing it. I have gotten invitations like this and for all i know DH could of thrown it for his wife (or paid for it).
Message edited 3/1/2006 9:03:23 AM.
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| Posted 3/1/06 9:03 AM |
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justme1
Proud SAHM
Member since 5/05 1955 total posts
Name:
Jodi
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Re: shower given by DH?
Posted by Ali1
I am probably in the minority here but i don't find it appropriate for a DH to throw a shower, just because to me it seems that he is throwing you a shower for people to get your baby (s) gifts.
However, if you have no close family or friends who will, maybe DH can pay for it and on the invitation just say please join us for a shower for......and not mention who is throwing it. I have gotten invitations like this and for all i know DH could of thrown it for his wife (or paid for it).
But realisticly. a baby shower IS for gifts.. everyone knows that..
If your mom or sister gave you a shower you think it doesnt look like they are trying to get you gifts either?
Do ppl really read into these things..
WHO cares who throws a shower.. its ALL for gifts for the mom to be..
Its 2006.. who says things have to be done like they were at the begining of time.
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| Posted 3/1/06 9:14 AM |
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BrunetteMom
LIF Adult
Member since 8/05 1480 total posts
Name:
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Re: shower given by DH?
My husband threw my shower and it was a totally kick A$$ shower too. I don't find it tacky in any way. If anything, it was less stressful for the others who didn't have to chip in to make it happen and they were able to relax the day of and enjoy the shower itself.
Good luck.
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| Posted 3/1/06 9:16 AM |
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ana6178
Praying for a miracle!
Member since 5/05 1536 total posts
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Re: shower given by DH?
Posted by IslandGrl
Posted by Ali1
I am probably in the minority here but i don't find it appropriate for a DH to throw a shower, just because to me it seems that he is throwing you a shower for people to get your baby (s) gifts.
However, if you have no close family or friends who will, maybe DH can pay for it and on the invitation just say please join us for a shower for......and not mention who is throwing it. I have gotten invitations like this and for all i know DH could of thrown it for his wife (or paid for it).
But realisticly. a baby shower IS for gifts.. everyone knows that..
If your mom or sister gave you a shower you think it doesnt look like they are trying to get you gifts either?
Do ppl really read into these things..
WHO cares who throws a shower.. its ALL for gifts for the mom to be..
Its 2006.. who says things have to be done like they were at the begining of time.
I have to agree with IslandGirl- a shower is for gifts regardless of who throws it.
IMHO- I think it is so SWEET of your DH and if I was invited to a baby shower give by a DH I would't read into at all.  KUDOS to anyone's DH who does this for his wife.
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| Posted 3/1/06 9:18 AM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
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The cure IS worse!
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Re: shower given by DH?
I started researching online because I wanted to know if I was just clueless 
"It used to be that etiquette for baby shower said that mothers of the new parents should not plan a baby shower. Some people may have viewed this as a gift grab by the family. Even sisters were not supposed to plan the baby shower. However, in past years this rule has fallen by the wayside. If you are related to a new mom, go ahead and plan her baby shower to your heart's content."
Source
I found quite a few more like this and one that said parents to be hosting is a no-no
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| Posted 3/1/06 9:30 AM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
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Re: shower given by DH?
Isn't the whole reason it's called a "shower" is to "shower" that person with gifts? I don't think Dh throwing a shower is any different then, let's say, having a housewarming. It's customary to bring a housewarming gift to a housewarming and that is given by the homeowners.
I know my DH is going to be helping with my shower financially and I would expect him to. My sister shouldn't have to shoulder the whole cost of giving a shower for me.
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| Posted 3/1/06 9:32 AM |
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Ali1
Mommy
Member since 8/05 3116 total posts
Name:
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Re: shower given by DH?
Posted by IslandGrl
Posted by Ali1
I am probably in the minority here but i don't find it appropriate for a DH to throw a shower, just because to me it seems that he is throwing you a shower for people to get your baby (s) gifts.
However, if you have no close family or friends who will, maybe DH can pay for it and on the invitation just say please join us for a shower for......and not mention who is throwing it. I have gotten invitations like this and for all i know DH could of thrown it for his wife (or paid for it).
But realisticly. a baby shower IS for gifts.. everyone knows that..
If your mom or sister gave you a shower you think it doesnt look like they are trying to get you gifts either?
Do ppl really read into these things..
WHO cares who throws a shower.. its ALL for gifts for the mom to be..
Its 2006.. who says things have to be done like they were at the begining of time.
I agree with you that the shower is for gifts, but I feel it's for both the DH and mother. If a mother, family member, friend throws it, those gifts are not for them but the couple having the baby.
I honestly in this day and age, find nothing wrong with DH chipping in or even throwing it, i am just saying there will be people who look at it as weird if DH's name was on invitation as throwing it.
As for the housewarming comparison i don't think you can compare because i had a housewarming and put on the invite no gifts, because to me it was to have a party to show our new house to family and friends...yes some people brought stuff, but not everyone and that is fine by us.
Same thing for birhtday parties, DH can throw you one, but the gifts are for you only.
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| Posted 3/1/06 9:36 AM |
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justme1
Proud SAHM
Member since 5/05 1955 total posts
Name:
Jodi
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Re: shower given by DH?
But who sits and reads into these things when they get an invite?
What about a bride and groom paying for their own wedding.. It used to be that the brides mother paid for this.. but nowadays isnt it the bride and groom that really pay for their own wedding??
WOuld some of you find it tacky that you were going to a wedding that the bride and groom paid for since you were also giving them a gift?
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| Posted 3/1/06 9:40 AM |
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Ali1
Mommy
Member since 8/05 3116 total posts
Name:
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Re: shower given by DH?
Posted by IslandGrl
But who sits and reads into these things when they get an invite?
What about a bride and groom paying for their own wedding.. It used to be that the brides mother paid for this.. but nowadays isnt it the bride and groom that really pay for their own wedding??
WOuld some of you find it tacky that you were going to a wedding that the bride and groom paid for since you were also giving them a gift?
That's true. I don't know, it just struck me as odd for a DH name to be on a shower invitation as giving it.
I guess i find weddings to be thrown to celebrate a union of two people with good music, dancing, food, etc and you give a gift to say congrats and to thank them for the wedding. The shower to me is more to just shower the woman and man with gifts for their new baby. I really don't find a shower to be a celebration, but that can be just me.
Personally, every shower i have been to, i very rarely even see anymore on the invitation who throws it for the person, so that is why my advice would be to just not put anyones name on it.
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| Posted 3/1/06 9:50 AM |
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mom2be
LIF Infant
Member since 1/06 168 total posts
Name:
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Re: shower given by DH?
I think it is fine. What is the difference between a DH throwing it, or the girls mother, both are family. If my friend's DH was throwing one, I wouldn't think anything of it.
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| Posted 3/1/06 10:20 AM |
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DRMom
Two in Blue
Member since 5/05 20223 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: shower given by DH?
I'm sorry but who cares? If her husband is sweet enough and wants to throw her a shower why would anyone think thats tacky? We just had a shower for my best friend and yes that majority of the reason we had the shower was so she could get some gifts and get everyone together to socialize. What difference does it make who throws the shower??? I don't uinderstand why people would even waste their time thinking about other people being tacky. Just my opinion
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| Posted 3/1/06 10:59 AM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: shower given by DH?
Posted by melijane
I'm sorry but who cares? If her husband is sweet enough and wants to throw her a shower why would anyone think thats tacky? We just had a shower for my best friend and yes that majority of the reason we had the shower was so she could get some gifts and get everyone together to socialize. What difference does it make who throws the shower??? I don't uinderstand why people would even waste their time thinking about other people being tacky. Just my opinion
I couldn't agree more. If you care that much about who throws it then don't go and don't give the couple a gift.
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| Posted 3/1/06 11:07 AM |
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michele31
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3372 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: shower given by DH?
I think having your grandfather throw a baby shower (which I have to say is one of the sweetest things I have ever heard..EVER about your bridal shower) or having one of your best friends throw it (with DH's help) is much more appriopriate.
Your DH is part of the "shower" so to speak. That is like him throwing you a bridal shower.
He can offer to help defray costs or assist with planning, but the invite should come from someone else. I am sure your friends would want to be involved.
I never viewed my showers as a way to get stuff. Yes, I got "stuff" but to me a shower is a way to celebrate a very special moment in your life...the "stuff" is a bonus on top of that celebration.
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| Posted 3/1/06 11:37 AM |
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anon
where's winter?
Member since 11/05 2209 total posts
Name:
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Re: shower given by DH?
Posted by monkeybride
Posted by melijane
I'm sorry but who cares? If her husband is sweet enough and wants to throw her a shower why would anyone think thats tacky? We just had a shower for my best friend and yes that majority of the reason we had the shower was so she could get some gifts and get everyone together to socialize. What difference does it make who throws the shower??? I don't uinderstand why people would even waste their time thinking about other people being tacky. Just my opinion
I couldn't agree more. If you care that much about who throws it then don't go and don't give the couple a gift.
me three
i'm not a big fan of any type of shower in general and have requested not to have a baby one. i personally don't like parties for the sake of gifts but each to his/her own. i will gladly participate, but the people who throw a party for every occasion and expect people to contribute what i deem as excess funds (and are actually disappointed when they do not), i don't tend to associate with...
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| Posted 3/1/06 12:15 PM |
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LnR6604
I'm Gonna be a Big Brother
Member since 5/05 1647 total posts
Name:
Licia
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Re: shower given by DH?
My shower was given by my DH because my mom does not like them. My older sister did not get one so it wasn't fair for my mom to give me one. The whole family knew the way my mom felt so it was a given that he was going to throw one for me!
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| Posted 3/1/06 2:44 PM |
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computergirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3118 total posts
Name:
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Re: shower given by DH?
My mom would have never thrown me a shower either (she's just not that type, plus we have such a small family), so DH threw one for me and caught me completely by surprise. Knowing that I wasn't expecting a shower, he made sure we went on some "researching" shopping trips to BRU and BBB, and then secretly set up a registry based on all my preferences I mentioned at the stores!
He and a couple of my good friends planned the actual event together. I was really touched :)
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| Posted 3/1/06 2:52 PM |
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