would you be offended??

So my brother emailed me asking me what i want for Xmas, because he never calls me anymore or ask to see how his godson is doing
Anyway, I didnt email him back till 2-3 days later because I wanted to ask DH what he wanted, so I finally email him and tell him what DH would like and I told him I wanted these wine glasses which someone on here helped me find them cheap, so i emailed him the site.

So he emails me back and told me what he and my SIL wanted, and then said funds are short (they always are because my SIL has to have the best of everything ) so we just bought something for the boys this year, since I didnt get back to him in time is what he tells me. Then says well it is always about the kids now...huh?

Fine that is ok, just get the boys a gift, but still taken back by it. What I wanted only cost $20....am I being selfish??

Re: would you be offended??

um...i don't get it...so because you waited 2 days now you're out a gift. ?? and if its about the kids, then why should they get a gift from you guys? he's an adult and shouldn't get anything.

i would email him back and say "well i'm glad you said that, cause honestly we have to put our kids needs first so we can't get anything for you and your wife"

i personally think he never had any intention of getting you anything. sounds shady to me

Re: would you be offended??

Posted by Diane

So my brother emailed me asking me what i want for Xmas, because he never calls me anymore or ask to see how his godson is doing
Anyway, I didnt email him back till 2-3 days later because I wanted to ask DH what he wanted, so I finally email him and tell him what DH would like and I told him I wanted these wine glasses which someone on here helped me find them cheap, so i emailed him the site.

So he emails me back and told me what he and my SIL wanted, and then said funds are short (they always are because my SIL has to have the best of everything ) so we just bought something for the boys this year, since I didnt get back to him in time is what he tells me. Then says well it is always about the kids now...huh?

Fine that is ok, just get the boys a gift, but still taken back by it. What I wanted only cost $20....am I being selfish??

Re: would you be offended??

Not at all! He asked you a question and you answered...with something reasonably priced! Not selfish at all!

Re: would you be offended??

That makes no sense to me. I'd be offended to. Why ask and then take it back regardless of how many days (which was only 2)?

Re: would you be offended??

If funds are short why would he offer what he and his wife wanted for Xmas?? And why did he ask what you wanted in the first place if he had no intention of purchasing it anyway?

I think I would be more confused then insulted.

I think you should respond with something like:

"You're right, money is always tight. Buying for the kids this year only is a much better idea."

And then don't spend a penny on him or his uptight wife.

Re: would you be offended??

Honestly, to avoid crap like this, we don't buy for siblings in our families anymore - just the kids. It makes life so much easier.

Just write back saying, "Okay, maybe we should just buy for the kids from now on for Christmas anyway."

It's NOT worth the drama.

Re: would you be offended??

So he told you what him and SIL wanted and said he wasn't getting you and your DH anything? BALLSY! I would be offended. Why did he ask at all?

Re: would you be offended??

Posted by QuoteTheRaven424

Posted by Diane

So my brother emailed me asking me what i want for Xmas, because he never calls me anymore or ask to see how his godson is doing
Anyway, I didnt email him back till 2-3 days later because I wanted to ask DH what he wanted, so I finally email him and tell him what DH would like and I told him I wanted these wine glasses which someone on here helped me find them cheap, so i emailed him the site.

So he emails me back and told me what he and my SIL wanted, and then said funds are short (they always are because my SIL has to have the best of everything ) so we just bought something for the boys this year, since I didnt get back to him in time is what he tells me. Then says well it is always about the kids now...huh?

Fine that is ok, just get the boys a gift, but still taken back by it. What I wanted only cost $20....am I being selfish??

my question to him would be - if funds are short - why did you ask me what i wanted in the first place?

Re: would you be offended??

you are not being selfish... and yes, i think i'd be offended.

what i would take issue with the most is that they said they were buying for your kids only and then still sent you ideas for giftss they wanted for themselves.

i'd prob take the approach suggested by some of the previous posters and just say "okay, that's fine. it's more about the kids these days and i can understand $$ is tight. let's both agree to do kids only this year then."

Message edited 12/12/2007 10:36:22 AM.

Re: would you be offended??

yes, my brother has turned into an A Z Z, and a very cheap one.
Sometimes I wish I didnt ask him to be the godfather of my boys becasue he never comes out to see him, and always has to ask who is who in the photos when I send him pics of the boys
My sister who lives in Florida has seen my boys more in one week then he has in their whole life

Thanks for advice...I will have to think of something good to email him back with

Message edited 12/12/2007 10:37:28 AM.

Re: would you be offended??

Posted by sunflowerjesss

If funds are short why would he offer what he and his wife wanted for Xmas?? And why did he ask what you wanted in the first place if he had no intention of purchasing it anyway?

I think I would be more confused then insulted.

Message edited 12/12/2007 10:38:22 AM.

Re: would you be offended??

He should of told you his funds were short, and they were only getting your kids a gift in his first e-mail. Not ask you what you want then say umm no cause our funds are short this year....

Re: would you be offended??

Posted by alnem

Posted by sunflowerjesss

If funds are short why would he offer what he and his wife wanted for Xmas?? And why did he ask what you wanted in the first place if he had no intention of purchasing it anyway?

I think I would be more confused then insulted.

ditto.

do you normally have a good relationship with your brother? or is there usually drama where he's concerned?

Message edited 9/2/2009 10:13:05 AM.

Re: would you be offended??

I would be offended - I mean, he still told you what he and SIL want!!! If it's just about the kids, then he and his wife don't get a gift either!