Organized people/neat freaks with messy SO's

How do you deal???

I'm at my wits end!!! Dirty clothes never go in the hamper, he flushes the baby wipes (I've asked him not to b/c it will mess up the septic tank), doesn't rinse mouth wash out of sink, papers everywhere, leaves his breakfast stuff everywhere (mug in living room, extra waffle still in toaster) and nothing goes in the garbage. I'm tired of being mom! I'm not asking for a major change, just to pick up after himself and put things away. Things grownups do, right? I don't want to fight over this, and I get excuses. I'm sorry, but there is no excuse for not putting your laundry in the hamper. He tells me he doesn't like our hamper situation! Huh? Mesh hamper by closet, what's not to like? So I tell him to let me know what would work for him and he doesn't have an answer. I'm frustrated b/c we are moving (hopefully) into a beautiful place and I want it to stay that way.

What do I do? He tells me to stand up for myself regarding my family and other people but when I need to do it to him, he gets mad and pouty and defensive.

Any tips will be greatly appreciated. I love the man but not the mess.

Re: Organized people/neat freaks with messy SO's

I just try to laugh it off. DH thinks of the floor as an extra shelf to put stuff on. He has this new weird of habit of throwing the empty envelopes on the floor when he opens the mail. Laundry I can see, but garbage? Geez...

Re: Organized people/neat freaks with messy SO's

What drives me crazy is he will go through the mail and takes out the bills...then leaves a pile of junk mail and lets is pile up instead of going through it the day it comes and get rid of it...

Re: Organized people/neat freaks with messy SO's

Posted by SoinLove

I just try to laugh it off. DH thinks of the floor as an extra shelf to put stuff on. He has this new weird of habit of throwing the empty envelopes on the floor when he opens the mail. Laundry I can see, but garbage? Geez...

Re: Organized people/neat freaks with messy SO's

You definitely have my sympathy.

My DH doesnt even open his mail. It sits all over til I open it and file it or throw it away. Each morning I retreieve his socks from the living room along with a cup on the table and one in the bedroom. Dont even get me started on the extra bedroom. The floor is his hamper and garbage pail.

I hate living this way too but I dont have a choice. Thats the way he is and this is the way I am.

Re: Organized people/neat freaks with messy SO's

i'm still looking for an answer....i see that he does try, and will probably never be "as neat" as I am, so I look for the little evidence he "cares" (ie- someone now cleans the toilet once a week and makes an effort to put his clothes in the hampers we bought!)

i feel 'ya though!! love dh, but not all his "habbits"!

Message edited 9/10/2005 1:44:16 PM.

Re: Organized people/neat freaks with messy SO's

I have 2 now that are like that, my dh AND my dd!!! It drives me nuts sometimes. I am just hoping my ds turns out to be an organized person like me.

Re: Organized people/neat freaks with messy SO's

DH is so messy!! It kills me!!! I am tired of picking up after his crap!!

Re: Organized people/neat freaks with messy SO's

I have to admit I am definately more of a slob than him

Re: Organized people/neat freaks with messy SO's

Well, he came home from work, decided that he will use this old mesh hamper that has two sections, he sorted his clothing, he brought in cups and wrappers from the living room and wiped the toilet down. Wow, he must have been getting my "Start cleaning up Buddy" vibes ALL DAY LONG! Gotta love them!

Re: Organized people/neat freaks with messy SO's

Posted by CkGm

I have to admit I am definately more of a slob than him

Re: Organized people/neat freaks with messy SO's

I feel for you. After years of MIL catering to DH every wish it was a big wake up call to him to have to pitch in and help.

At first I would get so angry and a fight would start, then I realized I could get even. I would hide his keys, hide his football gear etc....thing was they werent really hid they were put in the place they were supposed to be.

He still makes a mess, I cant understand why he cannot throw clothes in the hamper, he throws them next to the hamper, he has clothes everywhere, I dont ask him any more if its clean or dirty I take it all down to the laundry room, if he gets upset I say oh well put your s**t away and I wont touch it.