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littlejoy06
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WWYD?? (MIL)
Currently my mother takes care of my DD M-TH while my DH and I work. It's a lot for my mother and I'm so greatful!! My MIL just told us that she will watch her T or TH starting after Memorial Day. I was thrilled, BUT there is a catch. She wants to be able to ride around with her on the day she has her to do chores. I HATE when anyone other then my DH or I have her in the car. It just makes me very nervous. WE have already had this conversation with MIL and she just  at us. Personally, I get offended because it is NOT her child or her decision. WWYD??? I don't even like my mother to take her in the car, but I have no choice there.
TIA!!!
BTW...I HATE the way that MIL drives and she wants to take her all the way out East (about 45 minutes) sometimes.
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Posted 5/6/08 4:18 PM  |
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4monkeys
boys will be boys =)
Member since 9/05 7205 total posts
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:)
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Re: WWYD?? (MIL)
hmm, thats a tough one sue. 
part of me says let her, im sure she'll be extra cautious with her precious granddaughter in the car.
and maybe it will make for fun experiences with her.
but you know her best and would know if this decisioon is best.
otherwise, maybe a local daycare for that one day a week (or a sitter for a few hours while MIL runs her errands?)
sorry, Im no help/
I can totally see how you feel. 
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| Posted 5/6/08 4:23 PM |
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Laura1976
Member since 5/05 5754 total posts
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Laura
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Re: WWYD?? (MIL)
is she a bad driver? unsafe driver?
i know i would never let my MIL drive with DD because she has almost killed me and DH on numerous questions, but my Mom and Dad and sisters are allowed to drive with her.
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| Posted 5/6/08 4:27 PM |
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littlejoy06
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Re: WWYD?? (MIL)
Posted by anna
otherwise, maybe a local daycare for that one day a week (or a sitter for a few hours while MIL runs her errands?)
Do they actually have daycares for once or twice a week?? That would actually be a great experience for her.
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| Posted 5/6/08 4:27 PM |
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4monkeys
boys will be boys =)
Member since 9/05 7205 total posts
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:)
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Re: WWYD?? (MIL)
Posted by littlejoy06
Posted by anna
otherwise, maybe a local daycare for that one day a week (or a sitter for a few hours while MIL runs her errands?)
Do they actually have daycares for once or twice a week?? That would actually be a great experience for her.
sure, it may be pricier for the one or 2 days, but the experience is so much fun, and your MIL will have the time she needs (and not be resentful if she has to lug a baby around  you know what I mean )
and everyone will be happy.
I will fm you
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| Posted 5/6/08 4:32 PM |
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krashnburn
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Re: WWYD?? (MIL)
Posted by littlejoy06
Posted by anna
otherwise, maybe a local daycare for that one day a week (or a sitter for a few hours while MIL runs her errands?)
Do they actually have daycares for once or twice a week?? That would actually be a great experience for her.
From what I have seen from the places we have looked at, after 18 months, when they're generally out of the crib stage and can nap on cots, You can do part time daycare. That's our plan if FIL ever offers to take him during the week for a bit. So if you're mom can take her a day and your MIL can take her a day and you have FRI off, then 2 days a week might be a viable option for you.
But it is a hard decision. I know you want to give your mom a break and it's great that your MIL finally offered to help out. It mightbe good for them to spend some time together. Your MIL can bond with her a little more. Besides, she might have all these grand plans of getting things done, but once she has her and has to work around her eating and napping and whatnot, she might not be out as much as she thinks she's going to be.
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| Posted 5/6/08 4:38 PM |
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nicrae
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Member since 12/06 9289 total posts
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Mommy
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Re: WWYD?? (MIL)
Honestly I don't think you can expect someone who is watching your child as a favor to you to sit at home all day. If you are uncomfortable with her driving then I would find someone else who you do trust in a car.
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| Posted 5/6/08 5:22 PM |
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littlejoy06
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Re: WWYD?? (MIL)
Posted by niikki-8-18-06
Honestly I don't think you can expect someone who is watching your child as a favor to you to sit at home all day. If you are uncomfortable with her driving then I would find someone else who you do trust in a car.
True, and I totally understand what you are saying, but I didn't ask her. She wants to spend more time with her since she only saw her 8 times in her 1st year. BTW...she lives 1 mile away. She has a huge shopping center near her and I don't see why she can't walk. To be honest, I think it's a control thing with her. Everything else since I've known her has been (13 years).
I'm going to have to look into daycare for a day or two, that's all. I'm sure that will go BIG with DH. He doesn't trust her in the car either. She tends to day dream and that makes me nervous.
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| Posted 5/6/08 7:26 PM |
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smdl
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Re: WWYD?? (MIL)
Posted by littlejoy06
He doesn't trust her in the car either. She tends to day dream and that makes me nervous.
I think you just summed it all. If you and DH don't trust her, then daycare is your option.
I would not leave DS with someone planning on driving. Maybe once in a while because they have to do a quick run and need to do it but that would be on a rare occasion and with lots of conditions (carseat inspected, how frequently, where, how long, etc...). In the end, I would still have to trust the person does not take DC behind my back thinking "ah ah, I took DC out and you don't know about it" kind of thing.
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| Posted 5/6/08 7:56 PM |
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nferrandi
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Member since 10/05 18538 total posts
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Nicole
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Re: WWYD?? (MIL)
I know it stinks, but you really have no right to ask your MIL not to drive DC. If you are uncomfortable with it, then you need to find an alternative. If you're lucky, maybe your MIL will realize what a deal breaker this is for you guys and give in- but don't bank on it.
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| Posted 5/6/08 9:40 PM |
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KateDevine
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Re: WWYD?? (MIL)
Posted by smdl
Posted by littlejoy06
He doesn't trust her in the car either. She tends to day dream and that makes me nervous.
I think you just summed it all. If you and DH don't trust her, then daycare is your option.
I would not leave DS with someone planning on driving. Maybe once in a while because they have to do a quick run and need to do it but that would be on a rare occasion and with lots of conditions (carseat inspected, how frequently, where, how long, etc...). In the end, I would still have to trust the person does not take DC behind my back thinking "ah ah, I took DC out and you don't know about it" kind of thing.
I disagree.
If the OP is REALLY uncomfortable with her MIL driving, then she has to decline the offer to have her watch DD.
But I would never expect someone who is watching my child at home or at their home to have to stay home all day with DC. How horrible! Before we moved, SMIL was going to watch DS and we registered for a car seat for her car!
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| Posted 5/6/08 9:46 PM |
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saraH
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Re: WWYD?? (MIL)
If she knows she will be watching her those days, can't she just run errands on other days?
I refuse to allow IL's to put a car seat in their car. There is no where they are going that DD needs to go with them.
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| Posted 5/6/08 9:53 PM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
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Re: WWYD?? (MIL)
Posted by KateDevine
Posted by smdl
Posted by littlejoy06
He doesn't trust her in the car either. She tends to day dream and that makes me nervous.
I think you just summed it all. If you and DH don't trust her, then daycare is your option.
I would not leave DS with someone planning on driving. Maybe once in a while because they have to do a quick run and need to do it but that would be on a rare occasion and with lots of conditions (carseat inspected, how frequently, where, how long, etc...). In the end, I would still have to trust the person does not take DC behind my back thinking "ah ah, I took DC out and you don't know about it" kind of thing.
I disagree.
If the OP is REALLY uncomfortable with her MIL driving, then she has to decline the offer to have her watch DD.
But I would never expect someone who is watching my child at home or at their home to have to stay home all day with DC. How horrible! Before we moved, SMIL was going to watch DS and we registered for a car seat for her car!
I said that is she might have to look for another option, i.e not have MIL look after her DC since she does not trust the MIL.
I would never drive a child in my care. I know parents are paranoid. I don't expect the teachers at daycare to take DS with them when they go out to lunch. DS does not go in anybody's car. What is the difference between a daycare center and home daycare?
Since the MIL OFFERED and it would only be a couple of days, I think she could run her errands on the day she is not with the child.
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| Posted 5/6/08 9:54 PM |
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EmmaNick
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Member since 12/06 16001 total posts
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Re: WWYD?? (MIL)
I'm confused. You have no choice but to allow your mother to drive in the car with her, but you won't allow your MIL? Or did I misunderstand?
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| Posted 5/6/08 10:16 PM |
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beena
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Gina
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Re: WWYD?? (MIL)
Posted by littlejoy06
Posted by anna
otherwise, maybe a local daycare for that one day a week (or a sitter for a few hours while MIL runs her errands?)
Do they actually have daycares for once or twice a week?? That would actually be a great experience for her.
DS goes to daycare 2 days/week but we are upstate a bit, not sure how it is on LI.
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| Posted 5/6/08 11:01 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
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Re: WWYD?? (MIL)
I understand where your MIL is coming from. She doesn't want to be stuck at home for 2 days during the week, every week. I can understand that.
So she is making it YOUR choice, do you want your MIL to watch DD and drive her around, or do you want to find another arrangement. I think that is fair.
if it were me, while I would be nervous, I would let her do it (if she was a decent driver). I think its just fair. I would just ask her not to drive around too much if its not necessary.
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| Posted 5/6/08 11:05 PM |
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