would your feelings be hurt by this or am I overly sensitive?

This was my first mother's day. I was proud of the fact that I am a mom and went through alot to become a mom (as we all did). Of course I knew DH would make it special (and he did) and I was spending the day with my parents and my inlaws. In the morning I started getting texts/phone calls from friends wishing me a happy 1st mother's day, even some texts from DH's friends - I was really touched by this, as I am not the type of person who would expect people (except family) to really go out of their way to acknowledge this day. Well my really close friend (MOH in my wedding) who is due with her first child this summer, didn't even call to wish me a happy mother's day, or call yesterday to see how my day was. My feelings were definitely hurt (I thought about it last night and was sort of shocked that she never called) and I don't know if I am overly sensitive (which is totally possible) or if my feelings are justified. Today is her bday and I don't really even want to call her and wish her a happy bday. Again, I definitely was not expecting calls, but then when I started getting them, it really touched me.

Any thoughts?

Re: would your feelings be hurt by this or am I overly sensitive?

It would hurt me as well.

BUT, how is her pregnancy going? do you think that she may just be overly wrapped up in the pregnancy that she didn't call? Or perhaps she was waiting for her to call to wish her a Happy Soon-To-Be Mother's Day?

(not to say that either are a good excuse because she should have called)

Re: would your feelings be hurt by this or am I overly sensitive?

I would:
Give her the benefit of the doubt. i would assume she was busy and it sincerely went over her head.

I would call her to wish her a happy birthday and even say......wow just imagine, the next time you celebrate your birthday you'll be holding your baby in your arms.

In conversation she should REALLY ask you how your mother's day was and ask what you did. It would even be nice if she said oh sorry I didn't call you...happy belated mother's day. Even if she didn't say sorry for forgetting to call, as long as she acknowled the day and asked you what you did, that would be fine with me.

If she did neither then I can TOTALLY see how you can be bummed by it.

Don't lose your friendship over it and don't hold a grudge. Let her know that it may not be the end of the world by not wishing you a happy mother's day or a crime but it bothered you a tad bit b/c you consider her "family" and a simple phone call on your first Mother's Day would have been appreciated!

Good Luck

Re: would your feelings be hurt by this or am I overly sensitive?

I don't think my feelings would be hurt at all.

Honestly, it would never even dawn on me to call a friend for mother's day.

It's a family holiday to me and I wouldn't expect anyone outside my family to recognize me on that day.

But it doesn't matter what I think, it matters what you feel and if it hurt you I think you should say something.



I do think you should call her for her birthday.

Re: would your feelings be hurt by this or am I overly sensitive?

I wouldn't be hurt.

None of my friends called to wish me a Happy Mother's Day, even though it was my first. To be honest I don't think I ever called them either. Mother's Day is about you paying tribute to your mother. I don't think you need to recognize everyone who is a mother on Mother's day.

Honestly I think it is a bit much.

ETA: you should definitely call her for her bday!

Message edited 5/13/2008 10:42:07 AM.

Re: would your feelings be hurt by this or am I overly sensitive?

Posted by leighla

I don't think my feelings would be hurt at all.

Honestly, it would never even dawn on me to call a friend for mother's day.

It's a family holiday to me and I wouldn't expect anyone outside my family to recognize me on that day.

But it doesn't matter what I think, it matters what you feel and if it hurt you I think you should say something.



I do think you should call her for her birthday.

Re: would your feelings be hurt by this or am I overly sensitive?

Posted by leighla

I don't think my feelings would be hurt at all.

Honestly, it would never even dawn on me to call a friend for mother's day.

It's a family holiday to me and I wouldn't expect anyone outside my family to recognize me on that day.

But it doesn't matter what I think, it matters what you feel and if it hurt you I think you should say something.



I do think you should call her for her birthday.

Re: would your feelings be hurt by this or am I overly sensitive?

I would feel a little slighted. I always try to make it a point to remember everybody. That being said, I have to learn to not expect so much from everyone in this case.

Re: would your feelings be hurt by this or am I overly sensitive?

I would be hurt, but i wouldnt really read into it too much. I remember when i was prego.. my brain went a bit haywire.. and didnt remember the simplest things. Shes probable just all tied up with being pregnant and excitted and didnt think.

I wouldnt hold it against her, and defiantly call her for her Birthday.. youll regret it if you dont especially if she is a good friend.

Re: would your feelings be hurt by this or am I overly sensitive?

Posted by leighla

I don't think my feelings would be hurt at all.

Honestly, it would never even dawn on me to call a friend for mother's day.

It's a family holiday to me and I wouldn't expect anyone outside my family to recognize me on that day.

But it doesn't matter what I think, it matters what you feel and if it hurt you I think you should say something.



I do think you should call her for her birthday.

Re: would your feelings be hurt by this or am I overly sensitive?

Honestly I don't expect friends or family to acknowledge mother's day. I expect DH to help DD do something that's all. I don't see why it would matter to my friends or even my family really.

Re: would your feelings be hurt by this or am I overly sensitive?

Posted by leighla

I don't think my feelings would be hurt at all.

Honestly, it would never even dawn on me to call a friend for mother's day.

It's a family holiday to me and I wouldn't expect anyone outside my family to recognize me on that day.

But it doesn't matter what I think, it matters what you feel and if it hurt you I think you should say something.



I do think you should call her for her birthday.

Re: would your feelings be hurt by this or am I overly sensitive?

That's so funny you posted this. I just emailed my BF and it dawned on me that she didnt call/text/email me and wish me a happy mothers day. I totally didnt expect her to, but like you, I got a ton of VMs/texts/emails from others. She is kind of thoughtless when it comes to things like this, it wouldnt surprise me if she didnt call her own mother, so i let it go. I think that your friend probably thinks that you arent her mother so why bother. I would just let it go and be the bigger person but i totally understand where you're coming from. In prior years I myself probably never would have thought to call a new mom on mothers day.

Re: would your feelings be hurt by this or am I overly sensitive?

Re: would your feelings be hurt by this or am I overly sensitive?

Posted by monkeybride

Honestly I don't expect friends or family to acknowledge mother's day. I expect DH to help DD do something that's all. I don't see why it would matter to my friends or even my family really.

Re: would your feelings be hurt by this or am I overly sensitive?

I wouldn't expect anyone else to acknowledge mothers day except for my immediate family. Wouldn't bother me at all.

How lucky you are to get all those greetings from everyone though!! You should be thrilled about that!