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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Would you turn down a promotion to work less hours?
I currently have a great part time gig. I work about 25-30 hours a week. I get paid a full time salary and essentially cram full time work into a flexible schedule so I can still drop off DS at preschool, have a playdate or two, etc.
I was just telling DH I am working more than I would like and wanted to drop down to 20 hours a week and take a paycut. Before I was able to ask for this, my boss offered me an executive role. I would get more responsibily and it would be impossible to do in 25-30 hours a week. I could probably still have a somewhat flexible schedule but would need to increase my hours.
If I turn this down, he will need to hire someone else and I could probably get my 20 hours a week. I would be a supporting role more than a leading role.
Would you take the promotion or turn it down and ask for less hours?
Pay is good but DH can support us financially.
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Posted 8/8/12 12:03 PM  |
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Mags1227
Just a mommy ...
Member since 10/10 2665 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Would you turn down a promotion to work less hours?
i'd say that depends on your overall life goals. is just having your kids enough for you or do you need the career to make you feel fulfilled? is there a possibility that once they hire someone new they may phase you out? how would you feel about that?
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| Posted 8/8/12 12:12 PM |
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Marcie
Complete Happiness :)
Member since 5/05 27789 total posts
Name:
LOVE being a Mommy!
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Re: Would you turn down a promotion to work less hours?
No one but you can really answer that question.
it seems as though you want to cut down your hours, cause you feel you are working too many hours already...you know this project is going to add more hours, and that's not what you want.
My only question is saying no to it, is it going to jeopardize what you have going on already or trying to decrease your hours.
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| Posted 8/8/12 12:13 PM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: Would you turn down a promotion to work less hours?
Posted by Mags1227
i'd say that depends on your overall life goals. is just having your kids enough for you or do you need the career to make you feel fulfilled? is there a possibility that once they hire someone new they may phase you out? how would you feel about that?
Depending on who gets hired, I may be phased out. I do have a skillset that is somewhat unique so I'm fairly certain I can still keep a job but my career trajectory would be vastly different.
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| Posted 8/8/12 12:17 PM |
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Linda1003
love my 2 boys
Member since 8/08 10923 total posts
Name:
Linda
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Re: Would you turn down a promotion to work less hours?
You initially wanted to work less hours.. so i'd say turn down the promotion.
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| Posted 8/8/12 12:18 PM |
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pnbplus1
Family
Member since 5/09 5751 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Would you turn down a promotion to work less hours?
I would turn it down and ask for less hours.
Not much to think about since you said you wanted less hours and were ok with a paycut.
Are you working to work or do you want a career?
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| Posted 8/8/12 12:23 PM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: Would you turn down a promotion to work less hours?
Posted by pnbplus1
I would turn it down and ask for less hours.
Not much to think about since you said you wanted less hours and were ok with a paycut.
Are you working to work or do you want a career?
Before I had kids, I was totally career oriented. I always had a work hard play hard mentality.
I did feel bad for a few years because I felt all my professional non-parent peers were moving ahead while I had lateral positions that paid less and were less demanding. I can now catch up.
I don't think I will feel good about either decision. When I was in my early 20's, I would hear about these fallen career women who would drop out in ther 30's for families. I vowed never to be that woman. Here I am one decade later at that exact position.
Message edited 8/8/2012 12:34:52 PM.
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| Posted 8/8/12 12:32 PM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you turn down a promotion to work less hours?
Since you are already working 30 hours, I would just take the promotion. 30 hours and cramming in full time work is not pt IMO. It's getting paid less for doing the same work.
If dh can support why are you working ( for financial reasons, career etc?) this is the question that will help you make your decision.
Message edited 8/8/2012 2:04:31 PM.
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| Posted 8/8/12 2:02 PM |
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MissEsq
LIF Adult
Member since 10/09 920 total posts
Name:
Missy
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Re: Would you turn down a promotion to work less hours?
I am in a simliar position and have turned down promotions because I want to spend time with my DS. I fought hard for a flexible, reduced schedule and I"m not going to lose it. Life is about making choices! You need to ask yourself -- years from now will you care that you turned down the promotion? or will you care that you missed out on doing x,y,z with the kids? for me, the answer was clear - I want to be present in my son's life
is it easy to pass up promotions? not at all but I know that I will get them eventual just on my own terms and when it works best for me and my family
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| Posted 8/8/12 2:13 PM |
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Sparrow
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 6826 total posts
Name:
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Would you turn down a promotion to work less hours?
For ME, it's more important to be with my kids as much as I can. I grew up with two full time working parents and have many memories of wishing they were around more, wishing my mom could be a "class mom" and help out at my school. I don't want that for my kids.
I turned down a huge and potentially career changing position (along with a lot of money) so I could work only on a part time basis. I'd be a SAHM if I weren't afraid of how hard it might be to return to my profession someday.
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| Posted 8/8/12 2:16 PM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: Would you turn down a promotion to work less hours?
Posted by Sparrow
For ME, it's more important to be with my kids as much as I can. I grew up with two full time working parents and have many memories of wishing they were around more, wishing my mom could be a "class mom" and help out at my school. I don't want that for my kids.
I turned down a huge and potentially career changing position (along with a lot of money) so I could work only on a part time basis. I'd be a SAHM if I weren't afraid of how hard it might be to return to my profession someday.
I have tried both full time and being a SAHM. Both were not for me. I like working PT but I work a little more than I would like right now. One set full day off per week is what I want plus 4 days of flex work.
DH makes a very good living but his income is somewhat capped. I actually have higher earning potential than DH.
DH thinks I should try it out first and then decide. I may get away with delegating more.
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| Posted 8/8/12 2:32 PM |
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ISpoilHim
I think I got this
Member since 11/10 1523 total posts
Name:
K
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Would you turn down a promotion to work less hours?
My boss has offered me numerous options to keep me at my job. I have told him I will be leaving at the end of the summer. I am 39 and DS is 10 1/2 mos. We are hoping to have at least 1 more. For me, I never wanted to be a FTWM. Being a PTWM is not working for us financially. My boss has offered me more money, work at home, bring DS to work, etc. It's just not for me.
I understand the wanting to work, but for me, I would rather work PT at a supermarket a couple of nights a week while DH is home than continue at my current job. It's a job, not a career; I fell into my current job and is not what I ever saw myself doing. But being out of the market for an extended time would cause me to fall behind. You need to find the balance for yourself.
To answer the question, I would definately take the pay cut for less hours.
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| Posted 8/8/12 4:34 PM |
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JennyPenny
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Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Would you turn down a promotion to work less hours?
Posted by Bridex100
DH thinks I should try it out first and then decide. I may get away with delegating more.
This is what I was going to say. It's what I would do. If they were planning to hire someone new, had you not taken the promotion, then they can hire someone new if you decide to demote yourself later on, correct?
ETA: Would you need to be trained for anything?
Message edited 8/8/2012 4:50:05 PM.
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| Posted 8/8/12 4:49 PM |
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MrsW2010
Mommy of two!
Member since 5/10 2202 total posts
Name:
Jill
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Re: Would you turn down a promotion to work less hours?
i love my kids and money so i would prob take the job... but i never ever wanted to be a stay at home mom...
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| Posted 8/8/12 5:10 PM |
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Serendipity
Summer!
Member since 4/07 7631 total posts
Name:
PrayingWishingHopingALOT
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Re: Would you turn down a promotion to work less hours?
Posted by Sparrow
For ME, it's more important to be with my kids as much as I can.
I turned down a huge and potentially career changing position (along with a lot of money) so I could work only on a part time basis. I'd be a SAHM if I weren't afraid of how hard it might be to return to my profession someday.
This is me too.
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| Posted 8/8/12 6:16 PM |
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butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
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Would you turn down a promotion to work less hours?
sounds like you already answered it...... you wanted to drop your hours, the promotion would be the opposite.
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| Posted 8/8/12 11:50 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you turn down a promotion to work less hours?
I think it depends on what you really want. It's money over time, which is more valuable? It's tempting to take the promotion but if it's going to be a stress to work more when you were already considering cutting your hours than I would say go part time and turn down the promotion. It really depends on what your personal and professional goals are. Good luck!! 
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| Posted 8/9/12 8:10 AM |
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hunnybunnyxoxo
this is what it's all about
Member since 11/07 3321 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Would you turn down a promotion to work less hours?
def a tough decision. From reading your posts, you seem very career driven. I think it’s more about the mental challenge than the money. of course the salary part is nice, but i think you want to see how far you can go professionally. I think if you turn down the promotion ,there will be a lot of "what ifs."
You've had the opportunity to be a full time SAHM as well as work part time. You got to enjoy your kids, go on play dates etc. , something many moms have to miss out on.
Here are my questions:
If you take this promotion, do you think you will have to put in 50 ,60 hours a week in order to excel in your position? if so, then I don’t think it will be right for you. if you can do your job within a 40 hour work week, then i think you might be able to make it work.
can you negotiate a few extra perks like more vacation time?
what is important to you right now? Growing professionally? b/c i think you know you can achieve those goals. you are already on your way.
or are you ok with getting out of the house a few days a week to use your brain in the work force?
those "fallen career women" are probably happy with the life they chose. the "non parent" peers that are moving ahead, are they truly happy? is something missing from their lives?
at the end of the day, your family and health is what matters most. our time is limited. keep one foot in the work force and one foot with your kids.
in the beginning of this post, I was pro –promotion, now my thoughts kind of shifted..
I think when you are 100% ready to work full time, you will jump in with both feet and hit the ground running.
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| Posted 8/9/12 12:02 PM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: Would you turn down a promotion to work less hours?
Posted by hunnybunnyxoxo
def a tough decision. From reading your posts, you seem very career driven. I think it’s more about the mental challenge than the money. of course the salary part is nice, but i think you want to see how far you can go professionally. I think if you turn down the promotion ,there will be a lot of "what ifs."
You've had the opportunity to be a full time SAHM as well as work part time. You got to enjoy your kids, go on play dates etc. , something many moms have to miss out on.
Here are my questions:
If you take this promotion, do you think you will have to put in 50 ,60 hours a week in order to excel in your position? if so, then I don’t think it will be right for you. if you can do your job within a 40 hour work week, then i think you might be able to make it work.
can you negotiate a few extra perks like more vacation time?
what is important to you right now? Growing professionally? b/c i think you know you can achieve those goals. you are already on your way.
or are you ok with getting out of the house a few days a week to use your brain in the work force?
those "fallen career women" are probably happy with the life they chose. the "non parent" peers that are moving ahead, are they truly happy? is something missing from their lives?
at the end of the day, your family and health is what matters most. our time is limited. keep one foot in the work force and one foot with your kids.
in the beginning of this post, I was pro –promotion, now my thoughts kind of shifted..
I think when you are 100% ready to work full time, you will jump in with both feet and hit the ground running.
I am not motivated by money although I work in a lucrative field. I do like the idea of having an officer title. Although DH says I can do whatever makes me happy, I know he prefers me to work. He is a highly motivated individual who values achievement. His children are his priorities but he and I both agree that I am not SAHM material. When DS#1 was born, he had some health problems and I desperately wanted to stay home but I HAD to work because I was the breadwinner. Now DH is finished with residency and fellowship and can support us financially. I lasted 8 months staying at home before I started working part time. I wish I could go back to the hours I originally worked (<20 hours). DS#1 is thriving in preschool and DS#2 will start at the same preschool shortly. He feels between the two of us, we spend plenty of quality time with the children. We moved to VA from NYC so it is much slower paced so relative to all our friends in Manhattan, both of us have a ton of free time. He has awesome hours and I have pretty good hours relative to anyone we know in Manhattan. He has 6 weeks of vacation on top of lots of holidays (often gets 2 days off on major holidays). I don't have set vacation time off but I take off for vacations, weddings, etc frequently with no questions asked.
Short-term - I want to spend a lot of time with my children when they are young. As cliche as it sounds, they are only young once.
Long-term - I have witnessed a lot of middle aged women who have sacrificed much for their families and get the short end of the stick once the children get older. I know some moms in their 50's who either got cheated on or divorced who I feel really bad for. They stayed home with their children and did not have a career. This would probably be my biggest fear. I would also feel bad if I was happily married with nothing to do once my kids went off to college.
Message edited 8/9/2012 1:07:10 PM.
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| Posted 8/9/12 12:59 PM |
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ARIELSMOM
Love my Babes
Member since 8/05 5889 total posts
Name:
MEREDITH
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Re: Would you turn down a promotion to work less hours?
There are a lot of things to take into consideration that would be on an individual basis. You have to do what's best for you and your family.
At this point in my life, would not turn it down, but im relatiivly young & need a better paying job to provide a better life for my family, if it were 10 years from now, i might have a different outlook.
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| Posted 8/9/12 2:14 PM |
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JennyPenny
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Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Would you turn down a promotion to work less hours?
After seeing your last post- I definitely think you should take the promotion!
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| Posted 8/9/12 2:28 PM |
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Erica
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 11767 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you turn down a promotion to work less hours?
Not me. We don't need my salary, but there are so many reasons other than money that I work: sense of self, autonomy, independence, security, luxuries, example to my children.
I was raised by a feminist in the 1970's so this had impact on my view of career.
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| Posted 8/9/12 3:04 PM |
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hunnybunnyxoxo
this is what it's all about
Member since 11/07 3321 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: Would you turn down a promotion to work less hours?
Posted by JennyPenny
After seeing your last post- I definitely think you should take the promotion!
me too!!
i think you can handle it! as i mentioned, you had plenty of one on one time with your kids whereas most moms i know only get 8 weeks after their baby is born. the time you spent was a blessing! this is now your time to shine.
you've had 3 years out of work/partly off of work.
i say go for it! and make sure you carve enough family time!
financially, you are already secure. you can have quality time when you get home with kids while the nanny cooks or hire a personal chef! that way the time you spend with your kids, is one on one.
good luck!! cant wait to hear what you decide!
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| Posted 8/9/12 3:15 PM |
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