Working post baby.

When did you go back to work after giving birth (if at all?).

I really do not want to go back, but financially i'm afraid i will have no choice. My husband and I currently live in an apt in my parents house. We pay rent, but it is very low compared to what we would pay renting elsewhere. We have money from our wedding put away for hopefully a house someday in the not too distant future, but still need more.

I get disability at my job and can take 6 weeks off with 1/2 pay (8 weeks for c section) and I have been saving money in a private account that I have, so I will hopefully be able to stay home with my little guy a bit longer.

My mom generously offered to quite her job as a special education teachers aide and stay home and watch the baby. However this makes me kind of upset, because she will get to see all the firsts, and I feel like the baby will know her more than me. As silly as this sounds, I don't want the baby to like her better than me.

I'm due Feb 21 and I was thinking today that a good compromise would be to take off until the end of June. That way my mom wouldn't have to quit and could finish out the school year, and I would get extra time with the baby. I believe I will have enough saved to be able to afford all my bills, plus my husband still would be working full time.

I'm just so torn. I cry just thinking about it, and I haven't even given birth yet!! Does anyone have any advice or stories of how you coped with this?

Working post baby.

I'm due 3/13. I work for my dad so while I will get some extra benefits being the boss' daughter, I am still only getting 6 weeks for vag birth, 8 weeks for c-section. However, I work in a satellite office with 1-2 other people (depending on the day) and until the end of June, my plan is to bring the baby with me to work. At the end of the school year, my mom will then be home to watch the baby for the whole summer. Once summer is over, we will need to find daycare b/c my satellite office will be merging with the main office. However, I'm trying to work out a way to work 2 days at home and 3 days in the office but we'll see.

There is no way we can afford for me to stay home and as much as that sucks, it's our only way.

Working post baby.

I am due in June. My company's maternity leave is what I thought was normal - 3 months - but after reading a lot of posts on here I see that I am very lucky. I also have a week of vacation saved from this year including 4 weeks from next that I will try to use 3 of to tack on to the maternity leave so I can maximize staying home with the baby.
After I go back to work DH will be staying home with the baby. He is sooo excited, I am soooo jealous LOL. Wish the situation was reversed, but as my career is very lucrative and advanced and his job situation isn't good this seems like the best solution.
We will probably going to be dipping into savings from time to time and that is why we decided to postpone indefinitely buying a house. For now we will prob going to move to a bigger apt, I hope.

Working post baby.

I am due 4/9 and get three month leave. I am lucky enough that I work most days from home. My mom will be around to help watch her since we can't afford day care as we are trying to buy a house.

Re: Working post baby.

I can completely relate. I had my DD in August and returned to work a little over a month ago. My mom watches her when I go to work. It is very hard to leave her and I also worry that she will be come more attached to my mom than me and I will miss out on so much. I did end up going back to work only four days a week, so this helps a little. On the the flip side the good thing about working is it does help you to appreciate your LO so much more and the time you do have with him/her.

Re: Working post baby.

Re: Working post baby.

Working post baby.

Thanks ladies. I feel a bit better knowing this is somewhat normal and I'm not crazy.

Re: Working post baby.

I understand your fears but if your mom is willing to quit to watch your child (and you expect you will have no issues regarding her following your rules regarding your child) I say go for it. Your child will always know you are mom and if your mother encourages your bond with baby, all will be fine. My parents watched my DS1 from the time he was 8 weeks until he was 51 weeks. It was the best for us. DH and I were gone 7-6 and it gave us great peace of mind to know our DS was with my parents where I knew he was safe and I priority. My parents were wonderful about following my wishes regarding the way I wanted things done and we honestly had no real issues. DS always knew I was mommy.

I'm a SAHM now and have a 3 month old DS2 and I've already missed 3 firsts (1st smile, 1st laugh, and 1st time rolling over). For 2 of those 1sts, I was in the house at the time and for the rolling over, I was sitting next to my dad who saw him roll except that I was looking the other way at DS1!

I think taking off until June and then having your mom watch your LO sounds like a good idea.

Working post baby.

That's the thing, my mom is already talking like he is HER child. I am really hoping she is just excited and will follow my instructions and wishes, but I really doubt it. She is very opinionated and stubborn. It wil be free childcare, so I really can't complain too much but I just foresee it being a problem.

Re: Working post baby.

Working post baby.

I'm going to speak to my bosses at the quarterly meetings and see if they will work with me on it. I have been here for 9 years, and I'm very valuable (I think) so I don't think they will have a problem holding my spot for a little longer.

Re: Working post baby.

i was you last year...dd was born 2/16 and i went back to work about 3 months later. i put dd in daycare for a few months until my mom retired from teaching - she wanted to finish out the year so she didnt start watching dd until July. dd has been with my mom since then and it love it!. i do understand why you would be concerned that your LO will want your mom more than you, but that isnt the case. the baby still has a bond with you and knows you are its mommy. dd loves going to grandmas every morning - she gives the biggest smiles when she arrives. and when i get there to pick her up, i get the biggest smiles and she reaches for me. its an amazing feeling.
dont beat yourself up over this, you have to do what is best for you and your family and if that means going back to work, so be it. it iwll be tough leaving your LO, but it gets easier as each day passes and it makes the nights and weekends more special when you are home with them. you want to do more and really enjoy your time together instead of plopping down in front of the television.

eta - i just saw your post about you being worried your mom wont follow your wishes. that can be tough but dont go in with that expectation. when my mom took over watching dd she asked me her routine and i told her to do what works for her. i would give her the feeding routine but told her to come up with her own nap routine bc she is the one that has to have her daily. and she came up with one that works for her and so we made it work for us. of course at first i thought ok this will be our routine - eat at x time, sleep at x time, play at x time...but with a baby routines dont come easily so you have to go with the flow. of course my mom would throw in a few comments...oh when you were little you were having cereal in your bottle at month 3 and at month 4 you were eating food (or whatever nonsense she was telling me). and i did have to tell her that is not what is recommended now and even offered her to come with me to one pediatrician appt.
it will work out

Message edited 12/12/2013 9:47:50 AM.

Re: Working post baby.

Posted by jams92

i was you last year...dd was born 2/16 and i went back to work about 3 months later. i put dd in daycare for a few months until my mom retired from teaching - she wanted to finish out the year so she didnt start watching dd until July. dd has been with my mom since then and it love it!. i do understand why you would be concerned that your LO will want your mom more than you, but that isnt the case. the baby still has a bond with you and knows you are its mommy. dd loves going to grandmas every morning - she gives the biggest smiles when she arrives. and when i get there to pick her up, i get the biggest smiles and she reaches for me. its an amazing feeling.
dont beat yourself up over this, you have to do what is best for you and your family and if that means going back to work, so be it. it iwll be tough leaving your LO, but it gets easier as each day passes and it makes the nights and weekends more special when you are home with them. you want to do more and really enjoy your time together instead of plopping down in front of the television.

eta - i just saw your post about you being worried your mom wont follow your wishes. that can be tough but dont go in with that expectation. when my mom took over watching dd she asked me her routine and i told her to do what works for her. i would give her the feeding routine but told her to come up with her own nap routine bc she is the one that has to have her daily. and she came up with one that works for her and so we made it work for us. of course at first i thought ok this will be our routine - eat at x time, sleep at x time, play at x time...but with a baby routines dont come easily so you have to go with the flow. of course my mom would throw in a few comments...oh when you were little you were having cereal in your bottle at month 3 and at month 4 you were eating food (or whatever nonsense she was telling me). and i did have to tell her that is not what is recommended now and even offered her to come with me to one pediatrician appt.
it will work out

Working post baby.

Now I am really worried that my bosses won't hold my job for me. I hate these pregnancy hormones they are turning me into a wreck! I worry constantly about everything!