why can't i be happy

I feel so horrible. I sometimes feel like I dont want to be pregnant. Right before I found out I was pregnant I was diagnosed with panic disorder. Now witht the pregnancy I am so scared that I am going to have everything go wrong. I am terrified of developing a blood clot, of hemmoriging, just everything. I can't even enjoy this time, I just feel like crying all the time.

I just want to be happy and excited like evryone else, and it hurts so much that I am not. I told my husband already that I am not having another baby, because I dont think I can go through this constant worry again. I dont know how I am going to get through another 7 months of feeling like this.

Re: why can't i be happy

I can tell you that regardless of your panic disorder, you'd be having those fears anyway, most likely. I know I did. Hang in there. You WILL get to a point where you relax, even if it's just a little bit. I still tell my hubby that Ava is his one and only because I hated being prego so much. Not everyone loves it. I felt like I was the only one. But I promise that the end result is worth it. I spent most of my pregnancy so miserable. I hated it so much. Hang in there.

Re: why can't i be happy

Posted by prncssrachel

I can tell you that regardless of your panic disorder, you'd be having those fears anyway, most likely. I know I did. Hang in there. You WILL get to a point where you relax, even if it's just a little bit. I still tell my hubby that Ava is his one and only because I hated being prego so much. Not everyone loves it. I felt like I was the only one. But I promise that the end result is worth it. I spent most of my pregnancy so miserable. I hated it so much. Hang in there.

Re: why can't i be happy

Many hugs

Re: why can't i be happy

I hated being pregnant the first time I was sick the entire 9 months. I remember crying to my DH that we would only have one child because I could never go through it again. Well here I am pregnant with #2 and it was planned. Luckily my MS went away this time so I am enjoying this more than the first time. Once the baby comes you just be so in love you won't think too much of the before.

Re: why can't i be happy

I have a very close friend who caould have written your post word for word (except for the fact that she's had a panic disorder for a few years)

She spent a majority of her pregnancy miserable, and the rest feeling guilty about being miserable.

Her son is now 13 months, and she is PG with #2! She loves her son more than anything, and although her pregnancy wasn't the greatest, it was well worth the end result.

Hang in there. Before you know it you will experience a love like no other

Re: why can't i be happy

Thank you all so much. I am so happy some days and so miserable the others. I feel so horrible because I just want to be happy and I am having such a hard time. I really hope I start to feel better soon.

Re: why can't i be happy

I completely understand what you are going through. I cried at almost every OB appointment until I got closer to the end but even then I wasn't really excited because I still worried she would die inside me or during birth.
It got to the point that my midwives offered me medication but somehow I managed to get through it.
I still think I have an anxiety disorder and I know I need an evaluation but I just keep putting it off.
Please FM me anytime you need to talk. I totally understand how hard it is and how weird it is not to be happy when everyone expects you to be.