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~Melissa~
Member since 5/06 1462 total posts
Name:
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Who paid for your bridal shower...and who planned it? (sorry - wedding related!)
I'm curious because I am the MOH in my SIL's wedding...
My MIL wants the bridesmaids and myself to chip in for the shower. (NONE of us are in the position to do so.) I'm kinda in shock, maybe because my mother fully planned and paid for my shower, as did all of my friend's and relatives mothers. Maybe I am out of the loop?
Thanks 
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Posted 5/27/09 1:55 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
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Re: Who paid for your bridal shower...and who planned it? (sorry - wedding related!)
My mom paid for and planned it. Never asked for a penny from my bridesmaids.
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| Posted 5/27/09 1:56 PM |
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LuvMy2Girls
@>---------
Member since 5/05 11165 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Who paid for your bridal shower...and who planned it? (sorry - wedding related!)
Posted by scarletbegonia
My mom paid for and planned it. Never asked for a penny from my bridesmaids.
Same here and I was MOH in my SIL's wedding, i helped my MIL plan it, but she paid.
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| Posted 5/27/09 1:57 PM |
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DancinBarefoot
06ers Rock!!
Member since 1/07 9534 total posts
Name:
The One My Mother Gave Me ;-)
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Re: Who paid for your bridal shower...and who planned it? (sorry - wedding related!)
My MOH/sister paid for it. I'm not sure how much if any help she had from my mother, but my brother was the banquet manager at the location so I know she got a good deal.
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| Posted 5/27/09 1:58 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: Who paid for your bridal shower...and who planned it? (sorry - wedding related!)
My mom paid for it and my sister and cousin helped to plan it.
I have been in like 10 weddings and all of them were planned the same way - I never had to contribute.
Message edited 5/27/2009 2:11:27 PM.
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| Posted 5/27/09 2:00 PM |
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MetsGirl07
LIF O2 Vendor
Member since 12/07 16202 total posts
Name:
Deanna
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Re: Who paid for your bridal shower...and who planned it? (sorry - wedding related!)
my mom planned it and paid for it.
the only thing she asked of the bridesmaids was to take care of the
favors, wishing well, and CP's.
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| Posted 5/27/09 2:01 PM |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
Name:
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Re: Who paid for your bridal shower...and who planned it? (sorry - wedding related!)
My sister planned it and she and my mom paid for it. I'm not sure if they had the other MOH do something nominal (like paper goods).
In every wedding I've been in, the brides's family picks up the tab adn the BMs just do paper goods/decorations/etc....
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| Posted 5/27/09 2:03 PM |
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Cpt2007
A new love!
Member since 1/08 5946 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: Who paid for your bridal shower...and who planned it? (sorry - wedding related!)
my aunt paid for it and my sister (moh) planned it with her. my bm were involved as much as they could be but there was never an ask for financial contributions.
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| Posted 5/27/09 2:07 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: Who paid for your bridal shower...and who planned it? (sorry - wedding related!)
This is an ongoing thing with my SIL...I wish this was a poll!
My bridal party paid for it & my mom & MIL chipped in for the food. It's been that way at every shower I've been to and every bridal party I've been in (with the exception of SILs).
I always thought it was considered poor etiquette for an immediate family member to host a shower because it's seen as a bid for gifts. I'll have to check out Emily Post on that one.
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| Posted 5/27/09 2:07 PM |
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KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: Who paid for your bridal shower...and who planned it? (sorry - wedding related!)
To my knowledge my mom paid for a large sum of the shower and the girls all chipped in a small amount. My mom and my bridesmaids all planned it together.
For all of the weddings I've been in, I've offered money for the shower but was always turned down.
ETA: I actually had 2 showers, one here on LI and one upstate from where DH is from. The upstate shower was hosted by and paid for by my MIL.
Message edited 5/28/2009 9:13:42 AM.
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| Posted 5/27/09 2:11 PM |
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MarathonKnitter
HAPPY
Member since 2/07 17374 total posts
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EMBRACING CHANGE
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Re: Who paid for your bridal shower...and who planned it? (sorry - wedding related!)
according to wedding etiquette: the mother of the bride should have NOTHING to do with the shower. it should be some combination of the bridal party/ MOH
i say, do what works.
mine: my cousin, my MOH, hosted and paid. i had to help planning (picking the restaurant) because she was OOS
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| Posted 5/27/09 2:12 PM |
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steph4777
**************
Member since 5/05 11726 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Who paid for your bridal shower...and who planned it? (sorry - wedding related!)
My mother paid for mine.
When I was a MOH for my friend's wedding the entire bridal party paid for the shower. Her mother wasn't in the position to contribute.
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| Posted 5/27/09 2:17 PM |
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babymakes3
Almost there!
Member since 7/06 7376 total posts
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Re: Who paid for your bridal shower...and who planned it? (sorry - wedding related!)
I had three showers and my bridal party wasn't asked to contribute a dime.
My MIL and her sisters hosted one, my stepmom hosted one and my mom and aunt hosted another. Family hosting is not out of the norm where I'm from. The bridal party is expected to throw a bachelorette though.
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| Posted 5/27/09 2:33 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
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Re: Who paid for your bridal shower...and who planned it? (sorry - wedding related!)
My mom paid for the actual shower it self -- (the restaurant it was held at)
My MOH and BM paid for the decorations and planned everything.
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| Posted 5/27/09 2:35 PM |
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Waste06
Waste not, want not
Member since 6/06 7219 total posts
Name:
Lois Mom Mommy Mama Ma
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Re: Who paid for your bridal shower...and who planned it? (sorry - wedding related!)
My mother paid for it, and my sisters planned it.
My mother knew that my sisters would chip in if they were asked to, but she didn't want her daughters to bear that financial burden.
I should add that our bridal parties were small. Mostly just immediate family and no friends. My one sister and I only had each other as our MOH & no bridesmaids.
Never once have any inlaws offered to help pay for the shower either.
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| Posted 5/27/09 2:35 PM |
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VirginiaDeb
Don't eat me, hippo!
Member since 5/05 9252 total posts
Name:
Deb
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Re: Who paid for your bridal shower...and who planned it? (sorry - wedding related!)
My Bridesmaids mostly planned it, but my mom and mil paid for most of it - I'm pretty sure my BM's paid for a portion, but the majority was the mom's.
For the wedding I'm in this fall, the MOB is paying for a majority of the shower, though the bridesmaids are going to be paying for some of it (mostly decorations, prizes, etc.)
Message edited 5/27/2009 2:36:23 PM.
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| Posted 5/27/09 2:35 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19454 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Who paid for your bridal shower...and who planned it? (sorry - wedding related!)
My mom and my grandma paid for my shower (food, place, flowers.) My BMs offered to help so one sent out the invites, another got balloons and the third got the wishing well.
For the weddings that I have been in the bride's moms all paid for everything and would not let me pay for anything. For one I was the only BM (MOH) and the other there were three of us, but the bride's mom did not let us pay for anything either. Both of the mothers planned everything, but put our names on the invite as if we did it.
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| Posted 5/27/09 2:37 PM |
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timanda
Puppy Love
Member since 6/08 1627 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: Who paid for your bridal shower...and who planned it? (sorry - wedding related!)
My mother paid for the bulk of it and she planned it with my MOH. My MOH also contributed and the rest of the bridal party was asked to contribute, but their contributions were minimal compared with my mother and MOH.
It seems like there is a difference between what the proper etiquette is and what actually happens in practice (based on a lot of the respnses).
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| Posted 5/27/09 2:40 PM |
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BunnyWife
Insert Witty Comment Here
Member since 5/07 8274 total posts
Name:
BunnyWife
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Re: Who paid for your bridal shower...and who planned it? (sorry - wedding related!)
I didn't have one (Not my thing) but my sister just did. Her best friend (and bridesmaid) planned it and our mom, me and both bridesmaids paid.
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| Posted 5/27/09 2:43 PM |
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Re: Who paid for your bridal shower...and who planned it? (sorry - wedding related!)
Posted by babymakes3
I had three showers and my bridal party wasn't asked to contribute a dime.
My MIL and her sisters hosted one, my stepmom hosted one and my mom and aunt hosted another. Family hosting is not out of the norm where I'm from. The bridal party is expected to throw a bachelorette though.
Same here, family hosts the showers where I'm from. My MIL and Mom split the cost and my mom did the planning. My bridal party paid for and planned my bachelorette party.
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| Posted 5/27/09 3:29 PM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: Who paid for your bridal shower...and who planned it? (sorry - wedding related!)
My mom and sister (MOH)
But, my bridal party was just my sister (MOH) and my SILs (BMs) and two of them were under 15 at the time.
My SMIL did give us an incredibly generous gift tho.
I was a MOH and I chipped in.
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| Posted 5/27/09 3:34 PM |
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evnme
My little lamb
Member since 8/05 12633 total posts
Name:
aka momma2b
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Re: Who paid for your bridal shower...and who planned it? (sorry - wedding related!)
my mom and MIL paid for and planned the shower.
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| Posted 5/27/09 3:35 PM |
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jam11308
Member since 11/07 7273 total posts
Name:
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Re: Who paid for your bridal shower...and who planned it? (sorry - wedding related!)
I've helped to pay for it for every wedding that I've ever been in...from what I understand, the proper etiquette used to be that the bridal party/friends paid for it & the family had nothing to do with it. That's obviously changed the past few years though. My friends & my mom paid for mine...they divided it 4 ways (3 bm's & mom).
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| Posted 5/27/09 3:35 PM |
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LoveyQ
Stalkers, get a life.
Member since 11/07 12820 total posts
Name:
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Re: Who paid for your bridal shower...and who planned it? (sorry - wedding related!)
Posted by libby2595
according to wedding etiquette: the mother of the bride should have NOTHING to do with the shower. it should be some combination of the bridal party/ MOH
i say, do what works.
mine: my cousin, my MOH, hosted and paid. i had to help planning (picking the restaurant) because she was OOS
This is correct according to ettiquette and technically the mother of the bride should NOT host or throw/pay for the shower.
Of course, things change and many mothers are able to and wish to pay for their daughter's shower, so like said above, do what works for you. But if you want to know who technically SHOULD pay, it shouldn't be the mother of the bride.
For my shower, it was hosted by my BM's, but it was paid by my BM's and my mom. Two of the bridesmaids didn't want my mom to put in anything for the shower, but in the end she paid for all the catering, the cake, and I think a couple of other things.
My MIL did not offer nor was she asked to pay for anything. I do not have sisters. I had 3 bridesmaids.
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| Posted 5/27/09 3:44 PM |
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Dani922
Here's to new beginnings
Member since 10/07 7260 total posts
Name:
Danielle
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Re: Who paid for your bridal shower...and who planned it? (sorry - wedding related!)
My shower was in my in-laws backyard. My little sister was my MOH. My mom, my aunt & my sister planned the bulk of it & it was almost entirely paid for my my mom & MIL. One of my bridesmaids chipped in some money (my mom didn't ask her to, but she insisted because she felt guilty aparently becuause she nothing to help plan), and I think another bridesmaid brought a few balloons.
I'm glad you asked this because I was under the impression that the mother had a lot to do with the planning as well. I am MOH for my best friend & I am certainly in no position to pay for a big shower all on my own (though I am more than willing to contribute) & I know the rest of the bridal party isn't either nor do I think they will even offer to help with planning. I have e-mailed with her mother a few times offering to help in any way I can & she has said she's going to keep me updated. Recently my friend mentioned that somone in her family was asking why I'm not doing it all on my own. I was offended & confused. 
Message edited 5/27/2009 3:51:10 PM.
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| Posted 5/27/09 3:47 PM |
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