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CindySN23
Stop, Think & Breathe...
Member since 8/11 3550 total posts
Name:
Cindy
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Who knows about your IF...
this weekend one of my very good friends announced that she is 3 months pregnant...I kinda was numb when they said it and I am very happy for them...Out of our friends DH and I have been together & married the longest so I thought we would be the first...DH kept asking me if there was something on my mind and I know he wanted to know if it bothered me...It didnt bother me that they were pregnant but it bothered me that WE are not pregnant!!! There are only 2 people that know we are having IF treatments...a co-worker and DH plus you guys...I tend to be a private person so I dont know how comfy I would be telling my friends & family...I was wondering if you guys have told people??? I dont want any sympathy or pity and maybe that is the reason why I dont want to share this but I would love more support & to know that I am not alone in this
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Posted 1/30/12 6:42 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
WaterGirl
Momma!!!
Member since 1/10 1060 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: Who knows about your IF...
Posted by mama2b
It didnt bother me that they were pregnant but it bothered me that WE are not pregnant!!!
THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am so happy for my friends that get pregnant or that have had children. It's that we've been trying the longest and still have nothing that upsets me.
My closest, core group of friends know about our infertility. I don't know if I would have been able to get through the last few years with out them. They have been amazingly supportive.
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| Posted 1/30/12 7:21 AM |
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LoLaBlue
PARTY OF 5
Member since 6/10 6900 total posts
Name:
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Re: Who knows about your IF...
I am also a very private person so only our parents & a few of our closest friends know.
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| Posted 1/30/12 8:09 AM |
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Leb
LIF Adult
Member since 12/09 4166 total posts
Name:
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Re: Who knows about your IF...
I haven't told anyone! Except for doctors, acupuncturist...
At first it started with the IUI's and I figured after one or two I'd be pregnant and then tell about it all, but that didn't happen so it kind of spiraled into this big private secret.
The way I saw it was I just couldn't deal with being forced to talk about it when I didn't feel like it. I couldn't control the not getting pregnant part but I could control when I choose to talk about it.
In doing so I think it helped me distance the IF from my regular life so I could still laugh and joke with my friends and pretend it wasn't happening, drop out for a bit.
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| Posted 1/30/12 8:33 AM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: Who knows about your IF...
my very close friends and immediate family know.
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| Posted 1/30/12 9:13 AM |
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MrsM429
Mama x2 <3
Member since 12/10 4946 total posts
Name:
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Re: Who knows about your IF...
right now they only person I've told is my cousin. Other than that, we really don't plan on telling anyone.
We hope to be one of the lucky ones who gets pregnant on their first treatment, but realistically i'm preparing for the worst.
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| Posted 1/30/12 9:18 AM |
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Kris828
Hopeful...
Member since 9/10 1322 total posts
Name:
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Re: Who knows about your IF...
Most of our family and friends know. It's been easier having people to talk/vent to recently.
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| Posted 1/30/12 9:29 AM |
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Re: Who knows about your IF...
Like you, we were the first couple to get married in our "group". Never in my life did I think I would have such difficulting time conceiving. We told noone at first.....but as the years went on, I think it's kind of assumed/known that we want kids and it just hasnt happened yet. I dont ever talk about it w/ anyone nor do they really ask because I think some kinda know.
But here we are; over 4 years later.......Im starting to talk about it a little......just choosing those people wisely. 
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| Posted 1/30/12 9:51 AM |
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01ellie
LIF Adult
Member since 9/10 2245 total posts
Name:
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Re: Who knows about your IF...
i feel the same way....its not that i'm not happy for my friends and family but i'm sad and angry that i'm not pregnant.
our immediate family and my best friend knows we are going thru IF. DH is more private than I am
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| Posted 1/30/12 1:25 PM |
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NYCGirl80
I love my kiddies!
Member since 5/11 10413 total posts
Name:
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Re: Who knows about your IF...
It's really hard to go through this alone without talking to anyone. At the very least, I'd recommend talking to a therapist. But, if you feel comfortable, it's good to tell your family or 1 or 2 close friends. It's healthier and you'll feel more relaxed if you can open up.
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| Posted 1/30/12 3:26 PM |
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wantabuninoven
My angel has a baby brother!
Member since 7/10 1050 total posts
Name:
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Re: Who knows about your IF...
Sometimes I regret that I have told a few people at work, a few friends, our parents and some family members. Its just easier because most of them knew when I was starting to TTC and that was 2 years ago. So, I kept getting are you pregnant yet? After ignoring it for as long as I could I just started telling ppl. Only a few though know that I am going through IVF. My best friend had her baby through IVF so I tell her everything and it feel so good to have someone so close understand sometimes.
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| Posted 1/30/12 4:57 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Who knows about your IF...
everyone..at first nobody but after so many years and mc's it broke me and when they asked what was wrong i told..just my mom sisters and close close friends
it all started from a family shower i said i di not want to go to..we had just mc
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| Posted 1/30/12 7:21 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Who knows about your IF...
Umm.. For me a better question is, who DOESN'T know?!?! 
... and anyone who doesn't know already, will find out when I'm a size 2 at my baby shower 
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| Posted 1/30/12 7:23 PM |
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LIRascal
drama. daily.
Member since 3/11 7287 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Who knows about your IF...
Honestly, not many people at all. DH and I even did IuI without telling anyone, not even our parents. (only my BFF knew) I think one day DH caved and told his mom because she sensed he was upset, and we had been shady a few times. His parents were so supportive and good, and although my mom always asked if "anything yet" I didn't tell her much.
I was hysterical crying at my therapist's office one day, and she told me that holding it in was causing more stress!!! It was like carrying around a deep dark secret. So one night after dinner, DH and I told my parents. I also confided in my aunt who had endo 22 years ago and had her one and only child b/c of Dr. Rosenfeld's help. It was an enormous weight off of my shoulders. I don't tell people I don't know well, but to my closest friends and fam, I "drop hints".
Make the choice that's best for you! 
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| Posted 1/30/12 11:01 PM |
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TiggerBounce
The Prince & Princess
Member since 7/05 4939 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Who knows about your IF...
My mom, MIL, SIL and a one good friend know.
Also some people at my job know, though I am not very happy about that. I had to tell my manager b/c I had to take some time off work. But there are about 8-10 more that know.
I am a very private person and I can't tell you how much this upsets me. Another reason to dislike my job (but that's another topic)
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| Posted 1/31/12 8:50 PM |
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KMCGK
Gotta have faith
Member since 7/09 2176 total posts
Name:
Keep the Faith
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Re: Who knows about your IF...
Everyone. Next week willl be 3 yrs since our first miscarriage. So many years, so much has happened, I could've never not shared this part of my life with my friends and family. Additionally, I didn't expect my Husband to or my Mom either. It's too much. I don't regret sharing my experiences of heartache at all. If I kept it all in, I don't think I wouldve been able to move on from my difficult past.
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| Posted 1/31/12 9:19 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Who knows about your IF...
Posted by KMCGK
Everyone. Next week willl be 3 yrs since our first miscarriage. So many years, so much has happened, I could've never not shared this part of my life with my friends and family. Additionally, I didn't expect my Husband to or my Mom either. It's too much. I don't regret sharing my experiences of heartache at all. If I kept it all in, I don't think I wouldve been able to move on from my difficult past.
I agree with this ... Also, I feel like talking about it and just putting it out there makes it feel less "secretive" and "abnormal".
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| Posted 1/31/12 9:26 PM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: Who knows about your IF...
Apparently everyone knows now, Shaun felt the need to share his experience today with a lot of people... lol
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| Posted 1/31/12 9:39 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Who knows about your IF...
Posted by AngnShaun
Apparently everyone knows now, Shaun felt the need to share his experience today with a lot of people... lol
I hope he has a feeling of accomplishment!!
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| Posted 1/31/12 9:43 PM |
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LIRascal
drama. daily.
Member since 3/11 7287 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: Who knows about your IF...
Posted by AngnShaun
Apparently everyone knows now, Shaun felt the need to share his experience today with a lot of people... lol
See, the guys DO need their own board
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| Posted 1/31/12 11:43 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Who knows about your IF...
Everyone........at least with my DD and back in 2010 when we were TTC #2. I was always pretty open about everything. However, this time around at the RE only my close girlfriends and my sister know we went back for another IUI. Because 2010 was so hard with three miscarriages I didn't want to get anyone's hopes up this go around nor did I want any added pressure from anyone. It's been a little less stressful for DH and I not having the whole world know we went back to the RE again for another try. Hopefully I will have good news to share with them soon though! 
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| Posted 2/1/12 8:14 AM |
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LadyGIGI
LIF Toddler
Member since 2/11 444 total posts
Name:
DG
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Re: Who knows about your IF...
my parents, my inlaws, my sister, DHs best friend and a few of my closest friends. it definitely helps us to have people to talk to and who understand that we are having a rough time.
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| Posted 2/1/12 10:53 AM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: Who knows about your IF...
Posted by PennyCat
Posted by AngnShaun
Apparently everyone knows now, Shaun felt the need to share his experience today with a lot of people... lol
I hope he has a feeling of accomplishment!!
He told his mom... apparently his parents had trouble conceiving him... and his dad had gone to a dr because they said his mom was ok... after that they concieved right away... his dad was about to go get more testing when his mom found out she was pregnant...
i just found this out last night actually...
So Shauns telling his mom and he goes you made a good son, im strong like bull... i almost died... his mom was hysterical lol
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| Posted 2/1/12 11:08 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Who knows about your IF...
Posted by AngnShaun
Posted by PennyCat
Posted by AngnShaun
Apparently everyone knows now, Shaun felt the need to share his experience today with a lot of people... lol
I hope he has a feeling of accomplishment!!
He told his mom... apparently his parents had trouble conceiving him... and his dad had gone to a dr because they said his mom was ok... after that they concieved right away... his dad was about to go get more testing when his mom found out she was pregnant...
i just found this out last night actually...
So Shauns telling his mom and he goes you made a good son, im strong like bull... i almost died... his mom was hysterical lol
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| Posted 2/1/12 12:23 PM |
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bookworm
Two Little Rosebuds
Member since 8/09 2106 total posts
Name:
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Re: Who knows about your IF...
Posted by Kris828
Most of our family and friends know. It's been easier having people to talk/vent to recently.
Yes. The longer this goes on, the more people I tell. Something about all this suffering in silence started to drive me crazy.
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| Posted 2/1/12 3:33 PM |
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