When you were single PART II [Poll]

So, I posted this poll with limited details.

Now... Part II of this situation...

Your best friend just recently became single after a loooong relationship and a bad breakup.

Your boyfriend hasn't liked your best friend much, and she has felt the same way in the past.

The vacation she wants to go on is to spring break in a warm location that will require you to dress light.

You are living with your boyfriend. You are not the cheating kind and will not be thinking or considering anything of that sort.

Is it still ok to go on vacation with your friend?

And if you changed your answer between polls, why?

Re: When you were single PART II [Poll]

If my answer to this poll was no I would no longer be in the relationship with my boyfriend.

Re: When you were single PART II [Poll]

my answer doesn't change, I still say yes

Re: When you were single PART II [Poll]

Stayin with the "Yes/Go" Vote LOL

Re: When you were single PART II [Poll]

My answer does not change! it's still YES! GO!

Re: When you were single PART II [Poll]

I was in the exact situation as your other poll, and I spent a month in Europe with my friends.

With your new poll, things don't change.

Re: When you were single PART II [Poll]

i chose yes again for the simple reason that my DH trusts me and i trust him. there wouldn't be anything to worry about.

Re: When you were single PART II [Poll]

My answer doesn't change (I voted yes, go) BUT lets not pretend to be naive here either. Going to Spring Break with someone who just broke up from a long relationship IS VERY different than just taking an innocent vacation with the girls.

The girlfriend should not expect that her LIVE IN BF take it all in stride like it's no big deal. Yes there should be trust and yada yada... but come on. Spring break? Broken-up girl is going to be drawing an element to coupled-up girl that the boyfriend will NOT appreciate.

If I were the boyfriend I would NOT be happy. Doesn't mean I would say she couldn't go, (as if he has any say) but I would NOT be happy about it.

Re: When you were single PART II [Poll]

Is it JUST you and this one other friend? - If that were the case, I wouldn't want to go ONLY b/c I'd be afraid out 'girls trip' would turn into me being alone while she's hooking up - If it were a whole group of girls, I'd absolutely still go b/c the odds of ending up spending the vaca all by yourself would be slim, but with just this ONE friend who's looking to be in situations you are not, I wouldn't want to go anymore ........

My decision wouldn't have anything to do w/ BF, I just wouldn't think I'd have a good time -

Re: When you were single PART II [Poll]

I was in a situation like this except it wasn't during spring break. My friend was engaged and we had planned an OOT bachelorette party for her. When she broke the engagement we still went on vacation. I was living with DH at the time and he wasn't happy about me going away but I felt then as I do now - that was DH's issue to get over.

Re: When you were single PART II [Poll]

Posted by bicosi

My answer does not change! it's still YES! GO!

Re: When you were single PART II [Poll]

My answer to the first poll was Yes, I'd still go.

It's harder for me to answer this second question, mostly because if I was single NOW, I wouldn't want to go to any place Spring Break-like.

But my answer to Q #2 has more to do with my preference for location than it does with whether or not I had a boyfriend.

If I was in my early 20's, and my single friend wanted to go away over spring break, I'd probably go. It would probably be awesome.

Re: When you were single PART II [Poll]

mmmmm, to me I did change my mind and I wouldn't go under those circumstances. It sounds to me as if your friend will want to pick-up guys, and it will be a free and loose 'spring break-ish' environment.

IMO this is similar to the situation of 'my long term boyfriend/husband likes to go to seedy strip clubs' question that gets posted every once and a while on LIF and LIW. Only about half of people are comfortable with their loyal partner being in a sex-charged environment. Is it fair? Nope... but relationships require compromise, and to me, I'd want my partner to respect my wish that they avoid situations/places where people commonly proposition sex.

It's really up to the couple on determining what is OK or not... My advice? Just make sure both you and your boyfriend agree on your relationship limits before you go....
have fun....

Re: When you were single PART II [Poll]

Haha, I was in the exact same situation and I went to Cancun with my friend.

We had fun and made great memories!

ETA: I just read some of the other responses. I was in college when I went. It was just her and I for half the trip. Another friend joined us for the last half of the trip.

Now, years later, it would be a different story. We'd go to Vegas or something, not Cancun during Spring Break. I feel too old for that, nor do I want to bare my post-pregnancy belly in front of those young'uns.

Message edited 1/3/2008 6:00:15 PM.

Re: When you were single PART II [Poll]

my answers the same, yes. if your boyfriend doesnt like your friend thats his problem. if theres trust in your relationship there should be no problem on either end.

Re: When you were single PART II [Poll]

Message edited 1/3/2008 7:02:56 PM.

Re: When you were single PART II [Poll]

Yeah why not! I would go!

Re: When you were single PART II [Poll]

I won't go away without my FH except with family - that is just me though and my own personal experience has led me to think like that - i dont think there is anything wrong with it i just wouldnt do it!

Re: When you were single PART II [Poll]

I still say yes.

Re: When you were single PART II [Poll]

My answer may change depending on the friend.

I don't think I want to be "the friend" aka someone's 3rd wheel the entire vacation (after all I'm using my vacation time & $$$) but I can play wingman & have fun while doing it.

Re: When you were single PART II [Poll]

Absolutely I would go. Then again, I just went to Paris with the girls and I'm married!

My friends also took me on a bachelorette trip before I got married and I can still cry laughing over some of the moments on that trip. You don't stop enjoying your friends and making memories because you're in a relationship!

Re: When you were single PART II [Poll]

The only thing that would change my answer is if my SO was violently opposed to me going. With my husband, I know that the only reasons he would be adamently against me going is if he felt there were some mortal danger or risk to me - and if he felt that way I would have to consider his feelings and talk through it with him to see if they were valid. I can't see him saying "You can't go" because he doesn't like my friend. UNLESS the friend is a guy who has tried to sleep with me in the past. That might not fly!

Re: When you were single PART II [Poll]

I'd definitely go. Spend quality time with your best friend!