When do you stop inviting people?

This is related to my son's birthday, but it's a more generic question because I'm curious.

How many times do you get turned down over the years before you decide not to invite people to your parties anymore?

I have at least 5 different families - both family and friends - that I've invited to DS's birthday parties over the last 4 years and they have not come to even one of them.

When do you decide to cut them off?

Does the reason they can't come play into it?

Does it matter if they are family or friends?

Re: When do you stop inviting people?

I'm pretty set to cut off a whole heap of family members who are not bothering to give an excuse/are giving lame excuses for not coming to the wedding.

Re: When do you stop inviting people?

three years ago

Re: When do you stop inviting people?

There are certain family members, who after ds 1st birthday and they didnt call either way got the chop. They are no longer on the xmas card list, or will never be invited to anything we have again.

This one family members dd was pg the same time as me. We were a week apart. I lived in NC, she lived further south. I did not have a shower, she had one in Queens. Her fsther got annoyed, I wouldnt fly up (at 32 weeks pg) for her shower, when I wouldnt fly up for my own. So since then, they have been pricks to us. So f em.

Re: When do you stop inviting people?

If it's family I would feel guilty and feel like I have to invite them. My father's side of the family rarely comes to anything. We still invite them b/c we feel like we HAVE to. I just don't anticipate them coming when planning things. They also are notorious for just not RSVPing if they do not plan to come. At this point I've stopped trying to track them down if they don't RSVP and just assume they're a no.

With friends I'm not sure. We have flaky friends who will say no for a bunch of events and just when we say we aren't inviting them anymore they'll RSVP yes to something and actually show up.

Re: When do you stop inviting people?

After a few events of having people not even respond to, much less attend, we cut them off our list. And these are family (albeit not super close, but still family).

Now if someone couldn't make it for valid reasons, apologized and genuinely seemed like they would have liked to attend, I'd invite the next time.

Re: When do you stop inviting people?

My cousin E never came to anything and never RSVP. I stopped inviting her after 3 yrs (multiple holidays & events)

Her sister D never came but always RSVP w/kind regrets. I will probably give her 5 yrs b/f I cut her loose.

My step brother whom I am not close w/ but consider him family since I have known him my whole life comes to things every once in a while. Hardly ever RSVP one way or the other. I will always invite him.

Re: When do you stop inviting people?

it would depend on the reason the first two times. After that I'd probably stop inviting them.

Family or friends - it doesn't matter unless it was someone like my MIL who wants the invitation but isn't flying up every year for birthdays.

Message edited 5/4/2011 4:14:04 PM.

Re: When do you stop inviting people?

I'd give 2 chances, then no more invites.

Re: When do you stop inviting people?

3 chances. If they don't make it to the third invite (family or not) they will not get any more.

Re: When do you stop inviting people?

3 strikes and you are out unless its a distance issue

Re: When do you stop inviting people?

I think it would depend upon why they can't come and whether I see them at other times of the year. I think I would cut after 5 years of no shows though.

Re: When do you stop inviting people?

Re: When do you stop inviting people?

I hope I'm not one of the friends you are talking about! You know my excuses are totally legit

Re: When do you stop inviting people?

2 years is my limit. I hate to say it but stop now, it's clear they have other priorties.

Re: When do you stop inviting people?

Re: When do you stop inviting people?

If you have to ask that question...then its time to stop!

Re: When do you stop inviting people?

I think I would stop now. Do you attend their parties when invited?

I have a group of friends from HS and I always invited them all. One of them never comes, so I just stopped at the last party I had. I didn't do it to be mean, but she obviously doesn't want to come and I don't want her to feel obligated to keep sending gifts. I probably only see her once or twice a year, if that, anyway.

Re: When do you stop inviting people?

Message edited 5/5/2011 8:39:55 AM.

Re: When do you stop inviting people?

Posted by FelAndJon

I hope I'm not one of the friends you are talking about! You know my excuses are totally legit

Re: When do you stop inviting people?

If they are not trying ot include you, I'd stop inviting them.

I tend to always invite the same people over and over and never get a response. It's family so I just keep inviting them and dealing.

IF it was a friend, I'd cut them off.

Re: When do you stop inviting people?

I'm a big fan of three strikes, you're out.