what would you do??

So we are fresh into TTCing.... trying to find our way.... but the more I read/learn the less I want to wait.etc...

BIL is getting married in August 09 and DH and I are both in the wedding party....and DH is the BM....

if we were lucky /blessed enough to concieve in the month of Nov. we would be due 2 weeks b4 the wedding day... or if in Dec 2 weeks after....

any words of advice??

Re: what would you do??

i don't think you should be planning ttc around an event like that. If you are really ready to TTC, you'll do it regardless of your brother's wedding. Personally, that wouldn't even cross my mind.

Re: what would you do??

I'm not sure what you're asking....

Are you asking if we think you should wait?

Re: what would you do??

I hear you! I did the same thing. I tried to see what month I would be due if I got pg.....I wanted to make sure nothing was going on, there were not too many other birthdays. I know this sounds selfish but I didn't want anything to take away from the birth of my child and I also didn't want the birth of my child to take away from anyone's big day.

If it were me, I would wait so that the focus would be on the baby when everyone was done with the newlyweds.


That being said, it's your choice. You and your DH think you are ready to TTC then by all means try. It is not common for people to get pg first or second try. It does happen, don't get me wrong and possibly could. I think your decision should be between you and DH and if you have any ?'s with how to start then we can all help!

Re: what would you do??

let me say that I Personally don't want to put our planning on hold....

however - fast forward to then - If we were to get PG in Nov/Dec - should I even concern myself ??

I am having these thoughts of DH making the BM speech and my water breaking.... am I being silly??

my bestus friend tells me not to even give it any thought -but I can't help it, I personally don't want to avoid trying, but would hate to intrude on their day, being that we hold a special place in it....

Re: what would you do??

Nikkibean - TY....

I find myself here more often than I thought I would this early on...


and to everyone here - your thoughts, knowlege and questions have helped me tremendously - TY.


to all :)

Re: what would you do??

We went through something similar went we first started trying - and are going through something sort of similar now.

When we first started trying, we honestly thought we'd get pregnant within the first 3 months. We were SURE of it! Well, we didn't. We considered skipping a month (so we wouldn't be due for someone's wedding) - but we didn't, and still did not get pregnant.

You really never know how long it will take. I think you will look back and feel silly had you skipped these months and then it takes you 8 months to get pregnant - KWIM?

Now, we're 14 months after we started and we are still trying. If we do get pregnant this month or next, I will be due right before or after a family member's wedding - but so what. We are at the point where all that matters to us is having a child - we are sorry if that is not a convenient time for others, but we can't put our lives on hold. Well we CAN, but we are not willing to do so.

If anything, DH will go to the wedding without me. It's not ideal, but I would give anything to have a baby - including missing a family member's wedding. JMO of course!

Re: what would you do??

i totally agree with maybeamommy. Same thing happened to us. When we got married in April and starting trying right away we thought it would happen right away. My cousin planned her wedding for February 09 & I'm one of the BM's - I thought about this.... hmm should we wait till after? But I am so glad we didnt wait with TTC because look at us now - almost 7 months later and we're still trying and her wedding is in 3 1/2 months so I'm def in the wedding :)
I just think you cant put YOUR life on hold for someone elses because you just never know how long it will take and so on..... & just go with the flow & everything will work out
And I also have a wedding in August 09, a good friends and quite frankly - right now its just about DH & I wanting to start a family not thinking about other peoples events. (selfish I know)
JMO

Re: what would you do??

I would probably wait 2 months if I was you since you are just starting.

If you get pregnant right away, you could miss the wedding, not be able to make it to the wedding.


It could take you a while, but you could get pregnant on the 1st try. You just never know!


Good Luck with your decision

Message edited 10/28/2008 8:57:01 AM.

Re: what would you do??

I would wait the 2 months as well since you are just starting. Especially since it is his brothers wedding. I am sure your DH would have been upset if your BIL wasn't at your wedding. JMO of course.

Re: what would you do??

Re: what would you do??

My SIL who was in my wedding had her baby the day before my wedding and my brother went from the hospital to the church, then back to the hospital, then to the reception, then back to the hospital. When I first found out her due date I was a bit upset because I wanted them to be there for the wedding. But, in the end it worked out great and a child is such a blessing it just made me so much happier to become an aunt for the first time and a wife a day apart. Everybody was super happy...

I would not plan my TTC around that everthing works out in the end.

Re: what would you do??

I look at it this way.....there could always be something to wait for, so why wait?!?! Go for it and whatever happens, happens you will figure it out.

Re: what would you do??

I am in a similar situation. DH and I are not activly TTC yet...but we aren't trying not to. One of my best friends is getting married in July and I am a BM in her wedding. I have been worried that if it happend right now that I would be due around her wedding time. I know although she wouldn't want to be she would be disspointed. So I am figuring to wait till January or February to be safe. Especially since we aren't really ready to try....but that being said...if we were ready and it's what we wanted then I wouldn't allow an event to stop me. We all deserve our own happiness just as the person getting married does...or any other event. I know when i picked my wedding date i didn't pick it based on anyone but myself, and I would do the same when it came to starting a family.

Re: what would you do??

TY ladies for all of your advice... many great points made from both sides of the fence....

Re: what would you do??