What Would You Do

A friend's bachelorette party is coming up. By the night of the b-party I will be 24 weeks.

The planners of said event have decided on dinner & strip club in Manhattan.

This requires me to take the LIRR 1 hr 15 minutes into Penn Station, walk from Penn to the subway (@ 1 1/2 blocks), take subway between 1 and 3 stops (depending on the line), then walk to restaurant, (@ 2 blocks) then walk from restaurant to strip club, (@ 4 blocks) and repeat in opposite direction to go home.

Would you go or stay home???

I am trying to base this decision on pregnancy only and not other factors like cost and the chosen activity etc.

Re: What Would You Do

Can you take a cab to the restaraunt from Penn?

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Tough one. I just went to a B-Party last week at 28 weeks, but did not have to travel as much as you. We did fire island. Still a drive to the ferry, then the ferry ride, and I did leave early, but it was easy. I am not so sure I would do the train/subway etc...UNLESS I had a someone I could pal up with to and from....

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At 24 weeks, I would have been up for it....but it's really about how YOU are feeling...if you feel good and feel like you could handle it, then go for it...just walk at your pace.

And I'd not plan anything for the next day!

JMO

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I would go to dinner and skip the strip club all together.

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Will you be traveling with any other girls? Can I go see naked men with you?

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You probably won't like my answer, but I think you should go. At 24 weeks you'll still be relatively small and not uncomfortable and as long as you drink water and have a place to sit I think you'l be fine. I went to an overnight b-party in the Hamptons last summer when I was about 33 weeks pregnant. I was tired but I managed to have fun. Of course, if this is more of a casual friend and not a good friend, no reason to go if you don't feel like it.

ETA - Maybe I have a skewed opinion as I commuted into Manhattan until 9 months pregnant and during the summer months. Took the subway almost every day too. Its really not that bad.

Message edited 7/24/2007 3:52:21 PM.

Re: What Would You Do

Posted by waterspout4

Will you be traveling with any other girls? Can I go see naked men with you?

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I would go to the dinner but not the club afterwards and I would get a taxi to and from penn station so that I did not have to deal with the subway.

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Can you do the dinner and decide on the club that night? You might feel great, you might not. But you won't know til that night.

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I'm 24 weeks now and I would definitely go!! It might be one of your last nights out. Go and enjoy!

Of course, I would need a serious nap beforehand to get through it!

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I am going to a bachelorette party in 2 weeks and I will be 33 weeks... I am doing the dinner and skipping the hunkamania strip show, LOL


Hop a cab at Penn

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I would just go to the dinner and bail on the strip club.

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At that point - I see no reason not to have a night out and would look forward to it. I would even go at 34 weeks - lol. On the other hand, I hate strip clubs so if it wasn't a very close friend - I'd probably bail on that part of the night and just do the dinner part. If it was a real close friend - I'd be there for her whole night.

Message edited 7/24/2007 4:50:40 PM.

Re: What Would You Do

Personally I would probably go to the whole thing. I wouldnt stay out too late if I was tired but the train ride really isnt that bad and many people have longer commutes to NYC while pregnant until much later in their pregnancy.

I agree with the other posters - you should consider just taking a cab to and from the restaurant if you are not familiar with the subways.

Also - since you clearly won't be drinking, why not consider driving in to Manhattan?

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If she's a close friend I would at least do dinner. If not, I would stay home...thats just me especially taking the subway at night by yourself. I went on Saturday into the city and had to take the subway. It was a nightmare...and I'm only 14wks. Just b/c a lot of the trains were not running and it was sooooo hot. jmo

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Ok with everything else you wrote I would not go. Saying you are pg is an ok excuse and I am sure she would understand.

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If you physically feel up to it then GO FOR IT! My personal opinion is to live it up as long as possible, there wont be much time after baby is here. I would cab it though as much as possible, especially if you are travelling alone.

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I would maybe do the restaurant and completely skip the strip club. I know it's a part of BPs BUT I think even drunk and in the moment I would be put off by a pregnant woman being there. It might sound archaic or something, but it would almost be as if you were bringing your child there.

If you feel up to the trip at all, I would do the restaurant and call it a night. I did attend a BP in the city while 2 months pregnant and that was hard enough. You know how embarrassing it is to tell the waitress to remove your complimentary glass of champagne from the dinner table??? (She later returrned with ginger ale...which was sweet...so I could toast as well) Plus, while everyone is driking margaritas and shots, you get water.

Blame the PG all you want...if for nothing else, you will likely be too tired to enjoy the whole night anyway!

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I'd go, I felt great at 24 weeks

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The "other" things I'm trying not to factor into the decision. They are not in any particular order.

First - my age makes me clearly the old lady of this little group heading into the city by 10 years. Because of my age and the pregnancy I do NOT have the get up & go that is supposed to come with the 2nd trimester. I'm still going to bed by 9:30, and I basically haven't slept 5 straight hours since before the pregnancy began. In fact, I had an appointment with my MD to get sleeping pills when I got my BFP. Needless to say, I don't have sleeping pills, and I don't sleep for more than 2 hours uninterrupted at a clip.

Second - She had major advance warning for my b-party and didn't attend.

Third - cost. Dinner at the chosen place will run for me & my share of the bride to be's meal upwards of $75. Add the strip club $45, the LIRR & subway $30 (taxi will certainly jack up the price), and you have a minimum $150 bill. Considering DH & I just bought a house and we have to buy 100% of the furniture since we have none, this isn't really an expense I can justify in and of itself. (Let's not forget I still have her shower and the wedding)

Fourth - part of me thinks she is marrying this guy for all the wrong reasons (and he her). Not that he is a bad guy - he's not - I've known him longer than her, but there is something about the pairing that doesn't sit right. My DH says that he is just not "into" her at all.

Fifth - I really don't like strip clubs. I would absolutely go to just dinner if it was on Long Island without even thinking about it.

Finally, for those ladies that commute to the city while PG - you are amazing, because just the thought of it is making me tired!








Some of this info that you just posted answers your own question.

I think it totally depends on how you feel, not on how some random pregnant lady in the second trimester is supposed to feel. You get to be the judge of how your body is handling this. Stairs and places where the temperature is not well regulated = not a good mix for me and I am sure I am not alone in that. Still, I might try to go to just the dinner. I would make sure that there are plenty of trains AFTER the one I plan on taking home and I would leave a lot of time to get back to Penn. At this point in pregnancy, my decision to go would be dictated a lot by my relationship with the person and whether I am friends with the other people going.