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What a freakin' world we live in.
I am in a tank, no bra, and no pants. Yes, I am in my undies. It's so hot and I'm cleaning - marathon style. Organizing toys, throwing stuff out, etc..DH Left for work, and it's my prime time to throw stuff out without him knowing.
Someone knocks on door. I am a sweaty mess. I haven't showered. I think I smell. I have no make up on and my hair looks a fright. I ask, who is it? No one responds. I look outside and there is a sterotypical " I Love Little Kiddies Van" outside - unmarked.
I peek out by window, and no one is on my stoop anymore.
They knock again a few minutes later. I throw on pants and open the door a crack. I figure I'm mad enough now that I can defend myself. I keep my cell in my hand, and have 911 already punched in, but not SENT yet. I also have a huge bat right next to me. It's 2ish pm in the 'burbs, but mama raised no fool!
I yell in my best "don't F with ME, buddy!" voice: "HELLO?!?! CAN I HELP YOU??"
"I have flowers for you, (insert my name here!!)" says a scrawny young kid. OMG, he does he know my name, I am thinking. He goes to get them....the "flowers".... I clench by bat and know I can take this kid on. Hell, I could sit on him and kill him (I'm pregnant and have been eating for 6)
.....he comes back with flowers. I am still in bXtch mode. "LEAVE THEM ON THE STOOP!" I demand, refusing to retrieve my flowers I see. This could still be a ruse, I am thinking. This guy wants a piece of me.
He obliges, says to have a great day, and leaves. I wait an hour before getting my flowers and assure that he has left. (Again, mama raised no fool....what if he be hidin' in my shrubs to attack me??"
I walk out with my bat, and get my flowers cautiously.
..........HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, LOOKING FORWARD TO MANY MORE YEARS OF HAPPINESS!...LOVE, (DH)
 oopsie..
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Posted 9/1/10 2:38 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
maxsgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 1/06 2086 total posts
Name:
sarah
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Re: What a freakin' world we live in.
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| Posted 9/1/10 2:40 PM |
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ny55angel
car seat tech & geek :-)
Member since 2/06 4346 total posts
Name:
P
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Re: What a freakin' world we live in.
OMG that was the BEST story !!
Don't mess with the horomonal hot pregnant woman !!
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| Posted 9/1/10 2:43 PM |
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TeeDee09
LIF Adult
Member since 1/07 1011 total posts
Name:
E
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Re: What a freakin' world we live in.
That's hysterical but something I would do!!
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| Posted 9/1/10 2:44 PM |
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neener1211
:-)
Member since 4/07 22952 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: What a freakin' world we live in.
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| Posted 9/1/10 2:47 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: What a freakin' world we live in.
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| Posted 9/1/10 2:47 PM |
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leighdvm
My golden boys!
Member since 3/06 4419 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: What a freakin' world we live in.
I'm guessing the poor kid didn't get a tip?
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| Posted 9/1/10 2:48 PM |
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Re: What a freakin' world we live in.
That made my day!
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| Posted 9/1/10 2:50 PM |
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bettybcafe
Big brother in the making
Member since 7/07 8611 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: What a freakin' world we live in.
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! thats hilarious! But I think you did the right thing. You cant trust no one!
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| Posted 9/1/10 2:56 PM |
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PotofLuck06
Our Baby Boy Is Here!!!
Member since 11/06 13241 total posts
Name:
Betsy
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Re: What a freakin' world we live in.
That had me laughing!!
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| Posted 9/1/10 3:00 PM |
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gporka23
:)
Member since 11/08 3783 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: What a freakin' world we live in.
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| Posted 9/1/10 3:08 PM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: What a freakin' world we live in.
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| Posted 9/1/10 3:12 PM |
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Finally1108
My two boys
Member since 12/08 3541 total posts
Name:
Angela
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Re: What a freakin' world we live in.
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| Posted 9/1/10 4:22 PM |
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sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
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Re: What a freakin' world we live in.
OH. MY. GOD.
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| Posted 9/1/10 4:50 PM |
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wants-2-b-a-mommy
LIF Adolescent
Member since 6/10 593 total posts
Name:
cant tell ya yet!
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Re: What a freakin' world we live in.
HA HA HA omg i'd be so mortified! lol
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| Posted 9/1/10 5:18 PM |
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GinaR
LIF Adult
Member since 9/08 1976 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: What a freakin' world we live in.
lol thats pretty funny!!
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| Posted 9/1/10 5:24 PM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: What a freakin' world we live in.
you r so funny
I do the same thing wait till DH is at work and throw out all the junk!
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| Posted 9/1/10 5:27 PM |
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Re: What a freakin' world we live in.
I was mortified!!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe I need to wear pants at home..
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| Posted 9/1/10 5:28 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: What a freakin' world we live in.
You are a freaking riot!
I would be afraid they might blow up when I brought them in!!! haha
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| Posted 9/1/10 5:44 PM |
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Re: What a freakin' world we live in.
Posted by Goobster
You are a freaking riot!
I would be afraid they might blow up when I brought them in!!! haha
I swear, I thought of that for .2 seconds. And then I was glad I had put on pants, because I didn't think anyone would wanna find me in my old granny panties. Then I realized, it wouldn't matter.
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| Posted 9/1/10 5:47 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: What a freakin' world we live in.
happy anniversary...
...I got the full visual...great story.
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| Posted 9/2/10 2:01 PM |
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LoveyQ
Stalkers, get a life.
Member since 11/07 12820 total posts
Name:
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Re: What a freakin' world we live in.
Out of curiosity, did you forget it was your anniversary? Or just didn't even think it could be that when you saw the flowers?
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| Posted 9/2/10 2:53 PM |
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Re: What a freakin' world we live in.
Posted by LoveyQ
Out of curiosity, did you forget it was your anniversary? Or just didn't even think it could be that when you saw the flowers?
well, he was working that day, and we both agreed to celebrate today (he took off, and I am on vacation), so I didn't even open up my card, I was going to wait until today. I was literally in the mode of "ok, i'm not wearing pants today and I'm just gonna clean and organize!" and I was totally shocked. And I was soo confused when I saw the flowers!!! I thought it was a mistake at first
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| Posted 9/2/10 3:54 PM |
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PaddysGirl
Little princess is here!
Member since 4/07 5923 total posts
Name:
Crystal
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Re: What a freakin' world we live in.
Hilarious!!!
And btw Happy Anniversary
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| Posted 9/2/10 4:04 PM |
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