We've been trying for six months...

and now I'm suddenly having a panic attack! Can we really afford another child with the economy getting worse everyday? Should I be waiting until I graduate (2.5- 3 years at the most) & we're a bit more financially secure? Should we buy a house first instead of renting an apartment? Then again, there are pros to doing this now as planned too.

I know I have youth on my side, but I don't feel that we should wait longer to see if there's a better time solely because we're young & still have fertile years ahead. What if I always have a reason that it's not the right time? I've been told by so many people lately that they wish they hadn't waited so long for the "perfect time" since it never really came. My own parents tell me to follow my heart because if they had waited to be ready & financially secure, they'd never have had kids.

I know I want another child, so I don't where this anxiety is coming from all of a sudden. The last 6 months I've been so impatient & excited to get pregnant & have another child, but now suddenly I'm finding myself scared to become pregnant! Please tell me I'm not completely crazy. Is this normal? Does/did anyone else feel this way?

Re: We've been trying for six months...

i think a lot of people feel the way you do.

but i think i come the point of view as you said others have told you, "There is no perfect time."

There are always bills to pay, going forward in school, careers, etc. Buying a house... these are all big life decisions that impact us financially. but a baby is a baby and it's not a material good like the above.

I guess I come the old school where I believe that when someone has a child, God will provide. you seem educated, intelligent with a job. May your cihld have the newest of everything or the Mercedes in the driveway? Not necessarily, but who cares!

Yes, the economy is scary right now, but you never know what life can throw at you. Maybe your problems a few years down the line will be worse than now, or you may have problems (not that I wish this on you or your family of course!) but things like illness, death, injury... things that we have NO control over. if things seem relatively okay now... i say go for it! i am not seeing this from behind rose-colored glasses, but life happens... it's never the most perfect ideal time to have a baby. if all babies born in this world were born when the timing was exactly right we would have a very small amount of people around here!

My parents were two immigrants that had 4 kids in a two-bedroom apartment for over 10 years. Was it always easy? No Did we have a lot of extras? NO Did they bust their asses to raise us? Yes.... and we had the best childhood full of love and good times that were not focused on material goods, vacations or college tuitions paid for us. if anything, their value of hard work was passed on to me. I had to work for everything and it was a great experience.

It's all about perspective and making it work for you and your family. I wish all the best whatever you decide.

Message edited 7/3/2008 5:39:16 PM.

Re: We've been trying for six months...

Posted by donegal419

i think a lot of people feel the way you do.

but i think i come the point of view as you said others have told you, "There is no perfect time."

There are always bills to pay, going forward in school, careers, etc. Buying a house... these are all big life decisions that impact us financially. but a baby is a baby and it's not a material good like the above.

I guess I come the old school where I believe that when someone has a child, God will provide. you seem educated, intelligent with a job. May your cihld have the newest of everything or the Mercedes in the driveway? Not necessarily, but who cares!

Yes, the economy is scary right now, but you never know what life can throw at you. Maybe your problems a few years down the line will be worse than now, or you may have problems (not that I wish this on you or your family of course!) but things like illness, death, injury... things that we have NO control over. if things seem relatively okay now... i say go for it! i am not seeing this from behind rose-colored glasses, but life happens... it's never the most perfect ideal time to have a baby. if all babies born in this world were born when the timing was exactly right we would have a very small amount of people around here!

My parents were two immigrants that had 4 kids in a two-bedroom apartment for over 10 years. Was it always easy? No Did we have a lot of extras? NO Did they bust their asses to raise us? Yes.... and we had the best childhood full of love and good times that were not focused on material goods, vacations or college tuitions paid for us. if anything, their value of hard work was passed on to me. I had to work for everything and it was a great experience.

It's all about perspective and making it work for you and your family. I wish all the best whatever you decide.

Re: We've been trying for six months...

I feel like this from time to time. Everytime I hear about this going up or that going up I think to myself how are we going to do this with an extra mouth to feed?

I think everyone has these feelings. Fearing the unknown. I just tell myself over and over "look at how far you've come!!"

I had DS when I was 19. Me, DH and DS shared a room in my parents house. It was purse h ell. But we managed and now we have a great apartment and we are doing ok. We aren't rolling in it and we are no where near ready to purchase a house but we are better now than we were before.
If we can get through that we can get through almost anything. I guess thinking like this is what gets me outta my funk.

I am glad that I have a place like this to go to where I can vent because if not I may not be able to move forward every month.

Re: We've been trying for six months...

You're not crazy ! Having a baby is huge, but you know that already.

I go back and forth since the miscarriages. Some days I feel we need to have a baby, then there are the days where I sleep to 11am and think maybe this is the real deal.

It's a huge emotional roller coaster. I agree, you'll never be 100% ready. I waited until we bought a house, done getting my degree, married 4 years and I still know that having that kid is going to knock me on my @ss!

You will probably feel different tomorrow (again). especially if you see a baby at a bbq this weekend.

Re: We've been trying for six months...

We rent and I'm old. It ain't gonna get better, so if I'm going to get pregnant again, it will have to be in these circumstances... kwim?