Vent.

I think DH is becoming worse than me with this whole TTC thing and I had to sit him down last night and explain, like explaining to a child how this works.

Last month, he asked my why there were numbers on the calender. I explained that I was keeping track of how long my cycles were and marking down when we and when I was ovulating. He thinks Ovulation starts when I stop bleeding from my period.

He asked me yesterday "Ok, so as soon as your period is over we try again?". I laughed and broke out the Ovulation tests, and explained how they work. He was like a kid in an ice cream store with 1,000 flavors, his eyes were so wide and his mouth hung open the entire time. it was kind of cute.

Last night, for some reason I got a tiny bit sad. It was after MIL called to ask me about a cruise we're all taking as a family, and explain she wanted to book it before my SIL hits 24 weeks. DH got all cuddly with me and kept say "This is going to be our month, I can feel it".

I felt kinda mad, for the first time. I was not excited for this. I would personally like to try a different approach, like not thinking about it. Maybe the stress and the anxiety that "something could be wrong with me" is what's delaying this whole thing.

I work part time, we're financially stable, I don't have a crazy boss, I am enjoying my personal time because I have more of it, oh yeah, and no wedding drama to be involved in! Things externally are calm and relaxed. But inside, I'm a mess.

This past saturday when i got my period I felt so crushed - like my dog died. I was just so certain this was my month, I had also felt different - boobs ached more, I had severe cramping and I was having vivid dreams. I felt like after my SIL told us she was pregnant the race was on. There has got to be something I can do to relax and calm down and stop getting emotional when I see babies or pregnant women around me.

Gyno did tell me if nothing happens by April/May, to call her for further testing. It would be nice if by my birthday, I was pregnant. I really don't care at this point if I'd be pregnant by the cruise (which is the end of May). It'd be an excuse to buy a new bathing suit. And the cruise is paid for, which is the best part.

Sorry for the long ramble. I'm home from work today and have nothing to do, other than think. Maybe I'll go shopping.

Re: Vent.

I'm sorry, we all know how you feel. Vent away, we're all in the same boat. I don't know if that makes you feel better or worse, but for me it helps to know I'm not alone in this. Just be straight with DH and tell him to back off, it's stressing you out.

Re: Vent.

Completely understand how you feel. Oddly enough, we're in a similar situation with a cruise - we keep putting it off and can't make up our minds if we should go or not because we're waiting for that BFP.

Also, I think it's so sweet that your DH is interested in the whole ttc process

Your day will come

Re: Vent.

LOL, don't get me wrong, deep down I am happy he's excited, in the beginning, he was not. Now he's getting onto names.